//------------------------------// // The Mooning // Story: Terror of the Mooninites // by Kama and Hallie //------------------------------// Applejack was fixing herself something to eat after working out in the fields all morning. It was now around the middle of the afternoon, and she wanted to have some lunch before continuing her chores, as she was feeling quite hungry. Before she could do any of that, though, she heard a knock on the door. Applejack opened up the front door to see who it was, only to see in front of her two strange pixelated beings, one big and green with closed-looking eyes, the other was small and pink with angry-looking eyes, and behind them was a big pixelated spaceship. "Hello, Applejack. I am Ignignokt and this is Err," the green one greeted. "I am Err," the small pink one chimed in. "We are Mooninites from the inner core of the Moon." "You said it right!" "Our race is hundreds of years more advanced than your own." "Y'hear what he's sayin'?!" "Some would say that the Earth is our moon." "We're the moon!" "But that would belittle the name of our moon...which is the Moon." "Point is we're at the center, not you!" "Oh really, now? Sure, totally. I already had ta deal with a robot sayin' he's the Ghost o' Hearth's Warmin' Past and had ta regrow all the apples in mah farm because o' him! I do not need ta deal with weird creatures like you right now!" Applejack said angrily before she slammed the door in their face. "Is your ego satisfied, Err?" Ignignokt asked his smaller friend. "Damn no!" "Me neither." "Look at that!" Err pointed to the distance at a giant tree building in the middle of the town. "We shall go to that tree for it is much cooler looking," Ignignokt declared as the two Mooninites walked in the direction of the castle. In the Golden Oaks Library, Twilight was in the middle of teaching the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They were having their weekly "Twilight Time", experimenting with all kinds of things. The alicorn then heard a knock from the door, and left the three fillies to open it. When she did, she found the Mooninites standing on the other side. Twilight's eyes went wide. "What are you?!" "Hello, Princess. We are the Mooninites from the inner core of the Moon," Ignignokt greeted. "You said it again, brother!" Err chimed in. "You come from the Moon?! Are you associated with Nightmare Moon in any way?" Twilight asked. "Why would living on the Moon be a nightmare? Our civilization is millions of times more advanced than your primitive magic race," the green Mooninite said. "Our superior awesomeness is what gives people nightmares!" the small pink Mooninite exclaimed. "But, if you've been living on the moon all this time, then how come we've never seen any signs of you?" the alicorn asked. "Our culture has advanced beyond all that you can comprehend with one-hundred percent of your brain," Ignignokt answered. "Actually, we already use one-hundred percent of our bra--" Twilight tried to say before the green Mooninite interrupted her. "But it's still not enough! Our culture is so complex that your feeble three-dimensional brain cannot possibly percieve its complicated ways." "That's right!" Err said. "Our civilization has advanced past the need for houses." "The rocks are our homes!" "Or laws." "Breaking the law!" Err sang. "Or even a functioning society." "Society blows!" "Jobs have been entirely phased out of existence by our minds." "We get checks from the government! And we spend it on beer!" Twilight just stared at the two pixelated aliens with a confused face. Nothing about what they said about their society sounded believable in the slightest. But considering these were lifeforms she had never seen or heard of before, maybe their society did work that way and just sounded weird to her as a pony. Twilight's mood then shifted back to excitement. "Ooohh! This is such a huge scientific discovery! I've simply got to tell Princess Luna about this! She spent a thousand years on the moon, she must know something!" The purple alicorn then ran away to the upstairs of the library, repeatedly calling out "Spike!" as she ran, leaving the Mooninites alone with the three fillies. "Your friend is a nerd," Ignignokt pointed out as he and Err approached the Crusaders. "Yeah. On the moon, nerds get spanked endlessly with moon rocks," Err added. "Why?" Sweetie Belle asked as she and her friends winced at what the Mooninites said. "Because nerds are stupid!" "So are y'all really from the Moon?" Apple Bloom asked. "Yes, we are. It seems like you small mindless children are attempting to do such primitive scientific experiments. On the moon, our society is so advanced that we don't even need to learn anything," Ignignokt said. "Or want to!" Err added with excitement. "Education for us is something too low for even newborn babies." "Learning is for poor people!" "Well, that's not true. Education is important for everypony, and everyone," Sweetie Belle commented. "Oh, you horses and your feeble three-dimensions," the green Mooninite said mockingly. "What's wrong with it?" Scootaloo asked while glaring at the two aliens. "Oh, nothing. It's cute. We have five." "...t-thousand," Err added hesitantly. "Yes, five thousand." "Don't question it." "Really? Because I'm only seeing two," Sweetie Belle said with an eyebrow raised. "Well, that sounds like a personal problem," Ignignokt mocked again. "Hey, that scooter over there looks pretty cool," Err pointed at the object on the other side of the room. "Heh, y'like it?" Scootaloo asked with a smug smile as the fillies and pixelated aliens walked towards the scooter. "We do, very much. Which is why we'll be taking it." Ignignokt took the scooter in his hand and he and Err quickly walked out of the library. "Hey! That's mine!" Scootaloo shouted as she chased after them, her friends following behind. The Mooninites somehow managed to outrun the Crusaders despite them being a lot slower than everyone else. The two pixelated moon aliens then came across two fillies, one that was light purple and wearing a tiara, while the other was grey and wore glasses. "Greetings, fancy farm animals," Ignignokt said as he and Err walked up to the fillies. "Ew! What are you two supposed to be?" Diamond Tiara exclaimed in disgust as she and her friend backed away from the aliens. "We are visitors from outer space, here to bestow upon you our glorious technology," the green Mooninite explained. "Like this glorious piece of sophistication." Ignignokt held up the scooter for the fillies to see. "That just looks like a regular scooter," Silver Spoon pointed out. She and Diamond Tiara looked at the aliens with skeptical eyes. "It's not just any regular old scooter," Ignignokt reassured. "It's a Moon Scooter!" Err said. "It's like a regular scooter except it's special because we own it." "We're special!" "You could become very popular owning this and you get to flaunt your superiority over other by showing this off. Not even your dad could afford something as advanced as this." "That's not true! My dad could totally afford something like that," Diamond Tiara shouted. "How much for it?!" "We'll give it to you for free. Consider it payment for you to take it from us," the green Mooninite said. "Yes! I'll take it!" Diamond Tiara grinned widely as Ignignokt handed her the scooter. As Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon got up on the scooter and were about to ride it, they heard a voice shout at them. "Hey! That's my scooter! Give it back!" Scootaloo and the Crusaders finally caught up to them. "Your scooter is now hers, by way of our actions," Ignignokt said. "That's right. The moon aliens chose to give the Moon Scooter to me, not you! Why would they ever give something so valuable to a bunch of blank flanks? See you!" Diamond Tiara mocked the three fillies as she rode away on her new scooter with Silver Spoon. "Darn it! She's always messing with us!" Scootaloo said. "Shoot her the bird!" the pink Mooninite suggested. "Yes, give her the finger," the green Mooninite added. "What are 'fingers'?" Apple Bloom asked. "Oh, that's right. You horses have such an inferior number of digits that you can't properly express your anger." "We tell 'er how angry we are all the time! She makes fun of us just because we haven't got our cutie marks yet." "Oh, we can give you cutie marks, alright," Err said. "Ya can?!" Apple Bloom and the Crusaders' eyes all lit up. "Yeah, we give cutie marks to people all the time!" "It's very easy. Not surprised your primitive horse minds don't understand that," Ignignokt mocked, but the Crusaders were too excited to listen. "Can you show us?!" Sweetie Belle asked excitedly. "Of course. Follow us." "Uh...are you sure this is really gonna make us get our cutie marks?" Apple Bloom asked nervously. "Of course. People use this to get their cutie marks all the time," Ignignokt said. "And there's no magic required!" Err said as he held the tattoo pen in his hand. The three fillies laid on the ground with their flanks raised in the air as Err slowly approached them with the tattoo pen. "Are you sure about this?" Sweetie Belle asked. "We never heard about anything like this when it comes to getting our cutie marks." "Everyone's just trying to hold you back from being totally awesome." "They don't want you to know that the answer is right here!" "Once this is over, every child in town will be jealous of your tattoos." "What?" Sweetie Belle asked. "I mean your cutie marks," Ignignokt corrected himself. "Err, commence the marking!" "Uh...Ah'm not entirely sure about these cutie marks," Apple Bloom said hesitantly. After the Mooninites finished tattooing the Crusaders' flanks, they now led them through the town, but the Crusaders did not seem as excited as they previously were. "Yeah, what do they even mean?" Sweetie Belle asked as well. Apple Bloom's "cutie mark" was simply a crude drawing of Ignignokt, Sweetie Belle's was a drawing of Err, while Scootaloo's simply said "ERR WAS HERE". "It means that your destinies are to do whatever we say for all eternity, for we are your new masters," Ignignokt answered. "Err, give them the free cigarettes." "We smoke when we got our marks!" Err said as he put a lit cigarette into each of the Crusaders' mouths. "It makes you look cooler." "Now no one will wanna mess with you!" "And now that you are now our servants, we require some wine, and we want you to get it for us." "But we don't have any bits," Sweetie Belle said. "That won't be a problem." At the store, the Mooninites and the Cutie Mark Crusaders all stood in front of an shelf full of wine bottles. "Use your magic to levitate those wine bottles out of the store while the cashier isn't looking," Ignignokt instructed the unicorn filly. "But that would be stealing!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed. "It's not stealing if you need it, and we need it. So go get it!" Err ordered. "On the moon, Sweetie Belle, we have advanced beyond rules. And manners." "Indeed!" "Do you understand?" the green pixelated alien asked. "N-No?" "I will spit in your face now," Ignignokt said as he and Err leaned in closer to the three fillies. "Prepare to spit!" The two Mooninites then repeatedly spit red pixels at the fillies' faces, who all screamed and put their hooves in front of their faces in an attempt to shield themselves. "Now do you understand?" Err asked once he stopped spitting, while Ignignokt spit one more time just for good measure. "No! This is wrong! And y'all are just a buncha bullies!" Apple Bloom shouted in anger. "Yeah! And the cutie marks you gave us suck!" Scootaloo added. "Oh, really?" Ignignokt asked mockingly. Err suddenly jumped onto the shelf and dropped several wine bottles to the floor near where the Crusaders were standing, causing them to shriek in surprise, before grabbing two wine bottles for himself and his friend. "Now we must go spread our advanced technology somewhere else," Err said as he ran out of the store with the wine bottles, with Ignignokt following behind him who has grabbed two more wine bottles. "Move out." "Yes, move out." Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack barged into the dining room where her grandmother and big brother were, with panic and worry written all over her face. "Big Mac! Granny Smith! Apple Bloom an' 'er friends got caught stealin' at the wine store!" the farm pony exclaimed. Her two relatives gasped in surprise. "The wine store? What in tarnation were they doin' over there?" Granny Smith asked. "Ah don't know, Granny. But Ah know somethin' ain't right about this," Applejack answered. As if in response, the door to the outside suddenly opened, and the two pixelated aliens walked in. "Scribbling explatives and crude drawings on another's books is a sign of trust...and friendship," the green one said. "WHO DID THIS TO MY BOOKS?!" Twilight shrieked in terror when she found all the books in her library strewn on the floor, all with the pages ruined by endless crude drawings of the Mooninites and writings saying 'THE MOON RULEZ #1" riddled all over them. "You two are behind this, aren't ya?! What did ya do ta mah sister?!" Applejack asked in fury. "They just got busted, man," Err answered, completely unfazed by the farmpony's anger. "For stealing and drinking and damaging store property," Ignignokt continued. "Ah'm gonna go help 'em out. Ah'll deal with you two later!" Applejack snarled before she ran out the door. "The hillbilly girl is angry," Ignignokt commented. "Probably hasn't gotten enough action from her brother." "Their degenerate ways amuse us. Now let's rob these hillbillies for all they have." The Mooninites started to run upstairs, but a frail old voice called out to them. "Not so fast, ya varmints!" Granny Smith shouted. "Ah'll give ya a good lickin' once I get my hooves on you!" "Well, try and catch us, grandma!" Err mocked from the top of the stairs. "Your pathetic old Earth legs are no match for our superior Moon speed," Ignignokt mocked as well. The Mooninites then ran to the upstairs floor and began ransacking all the rooms, though they did a lot more destroying than stealing. As they ran back to the stairs, Err grabbed a lamp, and when they reached the stairs he dropped the lamp on Granny Smith's head. Big Mac was too distracted by his grandmother that the Mooninites were able to run out of the house with nobody chasing them. The Mooninites ran through the orchards, laughing to themselves at the mayhem they caused, only to be stopped in their tracks when Twilight and a larger blue alicorn appeared in front of them. "There you are!" she shouted, neither her or the other alicorn looked happy. "I assume that it's you two who wrote 'THE MOON RULEZ #1' on all my books?" "Because it does, Starbutt," Ignignokt replied. "Well I've brought somepony who apparently has known you for quite some time. Meet Princess Luna, the one who raises the moon," Twilight introduced the alicorn beside her. "I remember you two," Luna said, "All those years I was trapped on the moon as Nightmare Moon, you two never stopped tormenting me!" "We don't remember any horse on the moon," Err said. "You must be so insignificant that our minds do not even bother to store you into our memories." "Enough! You have terrorized me for too long, and now you terrorize my subjects!" Ignignokt suddenly pulled out a pixelated gun and pointed it at Luna. "Well if you've got a problem with that, you better take it up with Mr. Laser." "Yeah, Mr. Laser!" Err interjected. Ignignokt fired the shot, and a big brown pixel appeared heading in Luna's direction...at an extremely slow rate. "Here it comes." "Here it comes!" "The explosion will be of extraordinary magnitude." The so-called laser still has not reached Luna. The two alicorns just stood there staring at the brown pixel slowly moving towards them. "Just hang on," Ignignokt said. "It takes a while!" Err said too. Once the laser did get close, Luna simply took two steps to her left and the pixel missed her completely. What she didn't realize, however, was that the laser hit a tree behind her and bounced back in her direction. "Nice try, Mooninites. But now you shall taste the true power of the moo--AAHH!" Luna screamed as the laser pixel hit her from behind and she disappeared into thin air. "Princess Luna!" Twilight cried out. "We do whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times. Mooninites unite!" Ignignokt ordered as he and Err pieced themselves together like jigsaw pieces with him on top of Err's head. The two of them then pulled out four laser guns. "No one can defeat the quad-laser." "It is over now!" Err announced. The Mooninites then fired their biggest attack, a pixel laser four times bigger than the one before, but it still moved just as slow as the previous one. "The bullet is enormous! There is no escaping it." "Jumping...is useless!" Twilight simply rolled her eyes in frustration as she spread her wings and flew up into the air where the pixel couldn't reach her. "Impossible! She is defying the rules!" Ignignokt cried. "How about I show you a little laser of my own?!" Twilight shouted. "Then show us the laser, we'd love to see i--" Ignignokt taunted before the alicorn blasted the Mooninites with a magical beam that came out of her horn, sending the two flying and screaming. "Ship come in!" Ignignokt cried out, which caused their purple spaceship to appear, descending down to the ground, and the two aliens hurriedly got back up to board it. "Let us leave this primitive rock because there's nothing but farm animals here." "Say goodbye, farm animals! Go eat grass or something!" Err taunted before Twilight blasted another beam which finally got the two of them to jump into the ship and fly away. "Nerds!" "Frickin' nerds!" As the ship exited the planet, Ignignokt looked out the window down on the Earth and pulled out a middle finger. "I hope she can see this, because I'm doing this as hard as I can." Back in Ponyville, Applejack managed to settle the whole issue with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and was now taking the three of them home. "Ah'm sorry we got into trouble, Applejack," her little sister said sadly with her ears drooped. "It's alright, Apple Bloom. That's why ya shouldn't go trustin' strangers like that. Ya never know what they're up to." Applejack and her sister hugged, and the other two fillies joined in. "Now first things first, we need ta get rid o' those awful tattoos off yer flanks." Princess Luna found herself in a very familiar environment. Grey barren rock all around, dark black sky, and the Earth in the sky. She was now on the moon. "Oh no, not again..." she murmured to herself. To make matters worse, right after she said that, a purple pixelated spaceship landed near her, and the Mooninites jumped out and walked towards her. "What's up, Princess?!" Err shouted. "Prepare for a moon spanking." "Now show us your moon!"