//------------------------------// // A10 ­— My Own Cloud Above // Story: Where Only Silver Shines // by Etyco Filly //------------------------------// Aurora yawned as she sat down in front of her cup of tea: a brew so intense its smell assaulted my nostrils from across the table. She took a long sip, louring at both of us. Silver avoided her eyes, while I tried to defuse the situation with a sheepish smile. She had not been pleased to find out she had stayed up all night, mobilised her entire Knight regiment in search of Silver, only to find out he had not only slipped through the cracks on complete accident—in her hurry, she had told none of the serf layer’s guards to look for him—but had then spent the night with me. Well, we had merely taken comfort in each other's presence, cried into each other’s shoulder, and fallen asleep like that. Aurora, of course, believed none of that. Moreover, that mattered very little. The true problem lay in neither of us thinking to inform her. I had already profusely apologised to her, and even Silver had reluctantly done so. She would forgive us in due time, but right now she was decidedly and profoundly annoyed with us. Aurora cleared her throat. “So, what is this serious matter you needed to tell me about? I don’t exactly have all day.” Pushing aside any sheepishness and shame, I met her eyes. “I am going to ascend. Tomorrow.” Maybe as an excuse to avoid Aurora’s gaze, I glanced over at Silver, who was staring at the table—or rather past it. Aurora blinked a few times, eyes wide. “What?” she mouthed before shaking herself out of her daze. “Didn’t you say we needed to buy more time?” “I did, but plans change. The rebels are bound to grow in numbers, while the loyalists’ will shrink. Things will continue to worsen by the day until it results in another bloodbath. After Father’s rampage, I think we are out of time left to buy. I will have to learn as I do.” I did not want to bind my soul to The Tower, but what choice did I have? “Should we opt to work alongside the rebels, they will still require my ascension to correct many of The Tower’s inherent problems.” “What about the viscount?” Staring at me, she gulped. “There will be another rampage.” I held her gaze. “I know. That is why I am talking to you.” Aurora continued to stare at me, eyes growing wider with every moment, till she muttered, “You want us to contain him while you go through with the ceremony.” I nodded. “But…” After a few moments, she closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them again, they only held determination. “I will do it. Consider the Knights on your side. However, we will need more time to prepare. Tomorrow is simply too soon.” “That is fine as well; I just want a definitive time and date to set it all in stone.” Even if I tried, I would not be able to hide my relieved smile. “How long do you think you will need?” “Give me four days. At the beginning of next week, we will fix this.” She took a long swig from her cup. “We’ll talk again this evening when I have a basic plan. Do you need anything else?” “No.” While Aurora finished her tea, I turned to Silver, who was rubbing his neck, though not in the usual, sheepish way. “What about you? Did you need me for anything?” He shook his head. He had stayed oddly quiet this morning. Then again, he was far from a morning pony. He had already donned his caparison so he was presumably ready to tackle the day. “All right. I will be back this afternoon. I have to do some research on… well, on everything.” “I’ll be trainin’. Might take a nap, though,” Silver said in a tone that lacked the lethargy I expected. Was something on his mind? Later that day, Silver and I sat down at the edge of our old spot, and I sighed, relaxing. Finally a moment to myself. Though only a few days had passed since we last met here, the sight of the barely lit serf town filled me with nostalgia, with memories of what felt like a lifetime ago, of— This late, nearly nopony walked the streets below. I glanced at Silver, who was staring out into the open cave before us. I tried to follow his gaze, but found only stalactites amidst the darkness. He had not spoken much today, and I had assumed he would turn more talkative once he and I were alone again. Our trip here had proven me wrong. I would have to incite him to open up, though given how much time we would spend together, I needed not insist. After all, I would be staying at Aurora’s mansion for convenience. She and I had decided on that during our long and meticulous conversation earlier this evening. She and I would need to communicate extensively to plan my ascension, but she dreaded entering the Estate; she feared meeting the viscount again might trigger another episode. I would still have to return daily to check on Father, who had retreated to his quarters, and had not left them since. Though I had cast a spell on his door that would alert me if he left, it would be wrong and cruel to pretend he no longer existed. Though I would betray him soon enough, I needed to show him some kindness until then. He remained my one and only father, even with his psyche on the verge of permanent breakage. His was the fate of a pony bound to The Tower; a pony who could no longer die, but whose soul would continue to deteriorate. It would continue to rot, until naught but a shadow remained: a Forsaken, pushed into an incomprehensible hell, into an endless nightmare. I smacked my lips. Perhaps I needed a distraction. I sighed, looking over to Silver. He was rubbing the side of his neck yet again. Could it be…? No, of course not. “Are you okay, Silver? You haven’t said much all day.” I offered him a smile, and he returned it, albeit weaker, bordering on a grimace. “Not sure. I don’t know how to feel.” I nodded, then stared at the town below. “Me too. Nothing will be the same, and it is… terrifying to be on the brink of something as huge as this.” He chuckled. “Well, that too, I suppose.” I hummed in reply. Was I even ready? There were numerous gaps in my knowledge of the ritual, like new words in an ancient text. Individually, they had obvious explanations or definitions, but together, they cast doubt on my understanding of the whole. I squinted. Wait a second. “Too? Then what did you mean?” Tilting his head, he furrowed his brow. “How does my blood taste to somepony like you?” He spoke the question in such a neutral tone that my mind needed a few moments to catch up. My heart stopped. I blinked several times at him before memories crashed into me like a tidal wave. My jaw fell open, and I averted my eyes. “I… I thought that was a dream,” I mumbled. Silver watched in silence, but I dared not meet his gaze. What could I even say? This would be the end of our friendship. How stupid, disgusting of me. How dare I do this to him? Treat him like my property? Like he was just another prisoner, paying his blood tax? I stared at the ground, at the verge of tears. I was awful. But I had to try. Sweet Celestia, I had to try. Still unable to meet his gaze, I gulped. “I’m so sorry. I… I was hungry and I… I wasn’t really thinking and… and it all felt like such a haze. When I woke up, I completely forgot about it and I—” “I guess that does make sense.” He forced a chuckle, but the pain in his voice hurt even me. “You were… you were completely out of it.” My head shot up to meet his gaze. I had expected scorn, but found only a weak smile and half-closed, sad eyes. Selfish relief washed over me, but I refused to let it sweep me away. “I know it is no excuse, but I promise it will not happen again.” How could I have been so foolish? I hadn’t eaten in nearly a day. I should have known! I should have fetched some food as soon as he woke me. “Am… am I gonna turn into a batpony now?” I would have laughed, if not for the genuine worry in his voice. “As much as I want to stay with you and help you out, I also don’t like the idea of never seeing the sun again, and I—” “No. Popular depictions of vampires do not apply to sarosians.” I kept my tone matter-of-fact. This was important. “We simply crave blood, and need it to survive. Vitro told me we struggle with iron deficiencies and can barely produce our own red blood cells.” To be exact, she had rambled on about it to herself. I had merely been in the room. Head tilted, Silver only replied with a blank stare. “I do not fully understand what that means, either, but in laypony’s terms, we need others’ blood because ours isn’t good enough.” I almost tried to give him a reassuring smile, but could not force myself. I had just admitted to being a parasite. There was nothing to smile about. Yet he smiled at me. “Then I don’t have any qualms about forgivin’ you. It didn’t hurt, and I already knew you guys drank blood, so it ain’t much of a shock. Bloodmoon told me. Well, I should have guessed before that, but I’m pretty damn stupid.” He… forgave me? But how? Even with his explanation, it made no sense! I had used him. Treated him like property. Taken him for granted. I— “At some point,” he said, breaking the short silence and snapping me out of my stupor. When had I even looked away from him?. “I was wonderin’ if you would ask me to give you some o’ mine, and I decided that yes, I would, but I also didn’t expect you to actually bite me, let alone without askin’, and so I was worried, and I… I’m rambling.” He sighed, and his smile shrank a little. “In the end, I was just bothered that you didn’t ask, but I can’t blame you for actin’ on instinct.” He shrugged. “Even if it does feel weird to be treated as a meal.” “Thank you,” I replied with tears in my eyes. He had not only accepted my condition, but had also forgiven me. What had I ever done to deserve such a good friend? “I do promise it will not happen again.” “I mean… it could.” I blinked at him as his smile turned sheepish. “If I can help you, then I don’t exactly mind. As long as there is no risk for me, and as long as you don’t take too much, I’m willin’ to let you do it on the regular.” I let go of my held breath, and returned his smile. He chuckled, and curiosity returned to his face soon after. “By the way, what does my blood taste like? You never answered. Or does blood always taste the same to you?” I shook my head. “There are minor variations. Yours, however, has the same oddly bitter aftertaste as mine. Nothing major, but it does stand out. I kind of thought it was exclusive to my own.” “What a weird coincidence.” He scratched his chin, brow raised high. “Any idea why?” I furrowed my brow, and my ears perked. “Come to think of it, I am unsure whether it has always been like this, or if it has changed after the surgery.” Silver squinted. “Maybe Vitro would have known.” “It’s probably for the best she’s disappeared, then.” He shrugged, but elaborated when he met my quizzical gaze. “I don’t think I coulda heard another sentence from her without wanting to end either my life or hers,” he deadpanned. “Preferably hers.” After a quiet second, I burst out laughing, as did he. When we eventually calmed down, we sat in a comfortable silence for a while. I had nothing to say as I stared at his beautiful smile. All too soon, it disappeared, turning into a frown. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Silver winced. “This heart-to-heart reminds me there’s somethin’ I should tell you. I’m just…” His ears drooped. “Not sure if I should ever bring it up.” “What is it? Is it about the plan? If you are having second thoughts, then you need to tell me.” I touched his cheek and smiled. “You know I can’t do this without you.” Or, rather, I did not want to do it without him. “It’s… Kind of. Not entirely, but sort of. I just…” He gulped. “I don’t know how to put it.” He sighed. “I don’t want to burden you with this, but I know it’s stupid to hold it in.” Silver took a few deep breaths, and finally said, “I found out about a secret exit from The Tower, but when I thought about you, my gut tied itself into a knot.” He looked me in the eye, grimacing. “I couldn’t bring myself to leave without you. You mean so bloody much to me that I simply can’t choose freedom over you.” The world stood still. Was this—No. He had already rejected me once. Why would he change his mind? “Then you said you wanted to stay.” He tried to smile, but his eyes held far too much doubt. “Please, don’t take this as an attempt to change your mind, but…” He hesitated for a moment. “I just wanted to say how much I’m willing to give up, and…” He gulped. “And how much you mean to me.” Calm down, Arawn. He will merely call you his best friend. Best friends always did such things for each other. “But the truth is…” He rubbed his crest, briefly staring at the ground. “I rejected you only because I was afraid. I was afraid of ponies finding out. I was afraid of your father. I was afraid for you and your standing. I was afraid of taking advantage of you. I was afraid of ponies paying attention to me, only to judge me unworthy.” No, this was too good to be true. Any moment now, he would say but or however and then reject me again. “But…” My heart skipped a beat. “But in reality, the only opinion that matters is yours. You deemed me worthy, and I was too cowardly to accept it.” He let out an awkward laugh. “It’s funny that, out of everything in the world, a confession would be the scariest.” I stared at him, mouth threatening to hang open. He was saying all that, and I was misinterpreting it. That had to be it. “Arawn,” he said, “I love you too.” With five words, he melted the knot in my stomach. I sat there, paralysed, a grin slowly spreading on my face. Before I knew it, our lips touched, and he ran his hoof down my barrel, his caress nigh electric on my hide. I lost myself in the moment. After Stars knew how long, I finally pulled away, panting. With my left hoof, I wiped off the strand of saliva on my chin. Caressing Silver’s chest with my right one, I shared a look with him, and his happy grin soon turned to disappointment, before growing sheepish. I chuckled, enjoying the slowly fading warm fuzziness in my chest. “Don’t worry, I hate to break the moment as much as you do, but we should talk this through sooner, rather than later.” Silver pouted, then reluctantly shrugged. “I guess you’re right. I just forgot everything else for a while, so this is quite the whiplash.” “Trust me, me too.” In fact, I had almost failed to work up the incredible willpower needed to break myself off of him. “But I too need to be honest with you.” I gulped. “I want to leave as well.” Silver’s eyes popped wide, but my grimace shut down his grin. He gulped. “What’s stopping you?” “In theory, nothing. If we give The Tower over to the rebels, and if the Knights take care of Father—” I grimaced “—then, they can rebuild it as they see fit.” “And in practice?” “For one, I don’t know their odds of success. Maybe it is easy, but maybe they are doomed from the beginning. There are too many details I fail to grasp, too many unknowns.” I sighed. “Should they succeed, I still don’t know if they would establish a new order that could improve on the state of affairs. If they fail, will they even have the courage to admit it, and to evacuate?” Silver furrowed his brow and stayed quiet for a few moments. “In other words, you don’t want the responsibility, but you don’t trust anypony else with it either.” I opened my mouth to rebut, but closed it again and hummed. “Actually, that is a good way of putting it.” I frowned, looked away, and sighed yet again. “I do not want to abandon my duties, but the longer this goes on, the less I trust even myself to handle it well.” Staring at the ground, I muttered, “I think…” I looked up at him, heart hammering in my chest. “I think you gave me the last push I needed to accept it.” A smile spread on my face, as a weight fell off my chest. “Let’s leave, you and I.” Silver blinked a few times, brow knitted and ears perked up. After a moment, he shook himself out of it and asked, “What about Aurora? Are you okay with betraying her?” “Actually, the topic came up when we were exploring all our options. She’s the one who first brought it up.” I had dreamed about it, too, but had not seriously considered it until now. He quirked an eyebrow. “So she knows about the hidden exit?” I shook my head. “As far as she and I know, you and I could simply leave through the front door.” Would that even be open? “If not, we shall use the one you learned about.” Silver wrapped a wing around me and nuzzled my cheek. “That works for me.” Oh, how I wanted to forget everything and lose myself in his eyes, his embrace, his body. “You wouldn’t believe how relieved I am.” “Oh, I would.” I chuckled. “I have always dreamed of leaving this place, but I have long since learned to suppress that fantasy. Now that it is dangled right in front of me, I don’t think I can go back. I do not want to return to a life dictated by duty and obligation.” I kissed the underside of his muzzle. And how long had I dreamed of doing this? “And I want you to be happy, to be free, even if it means I have to be selfish.” And selfish I was. I did not even know if I could survive the outside, yet I wanted to take the risk. I was willing to die for my dream, apparently. But if I told Silver… he would never leave The Tower. Thus, I committed the most selfish act of all: I made the choice for him. It was my life and my risk to take, was it not? Enough thinking. I kissed his throat, then his collarbone, breathing in every last bit of his scent. Tonight, we would forget about it all. I would forget about it all. Silver pushed me away, and my heart stopped. Had I done something wrong? Then, his chortle quenched my worries. “Shouldn’t we get somewhere more, uh, private?” I let out a sheepish chuckle. Silver joined me, and soon we were laughing uncontrollably. After a few moments like this, we finally calmed down, and let out a content sigh. How silly of me. “Well, let us head back, shall we?” As I turned away, I brushed his muzzle with my tail. I held in a giggle. I had always dreamed of doing that! A second later, my heart started hammering. Sweet stars. I had just done that. We would be… I gulped and kept walking. Thankfully, this new source of anxiety kept my thoughts away from any serious topic for the entire trip back.