My Little Pony: Nine Elements Book 2

by BlueBioWolf

Chapter 24: Mystery on the Friendship Express (S2:E24)

The day after Rainbow’s prank, the Cakes were putting the finishing touches on their latest creation.

“The Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness~” Pinkie declared. “I knew you two were eagerly waiting for the chance to showcase this recipe you were working on and the National Dessert Competition is that chance.”

“We appreciate your confidence in us, Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake said. “And thank you for agreeing to transport it to Canterlot for us. We’d go ourselves, but, the triplets have been keeping us busy and you deserve a break.”

“Of course, Mrs. Cake,” Pinkie smiled. “And I promise I will not take a single nibble of this cake. As beautifully delicious as it is, I know it’s for an important competition and-”

“Uh, beg pardon,” Applejack interrupted. “But, think we might get a move on? The cake’s a might heavy. Ain’t that right, Big McIntosh?”

“Eeyup,” said the struggling stallion.

“Why’s he struggling?” Pinkie asked. “I’ve seen him lift way heavier than that.”*

“That’s our secret,” Mrs. Cake said. 

“We can’t go too deeply into our culinary secrets now, dear,” Mr. Cake said.

“You’re right,” Pinkie said. “We have to get this cake to the train depot.”

Pinkie led the convoy consisting of herself, Big Mac, and finally Applejack (with the Cakes following close behind the procession) as they exited the bakery. It was only a short walk to the train station, but, right now, it seemed like it was going to take forever. It didn't help that Big McIntosh was moving very slowly to make sure the cake didn't slide right off the tray. Still, she tried to provide encouragement. "Okay. That's it, Big Mac, take it nice and slow. After all, that's precious cargo you're carrying."

“Indeed so,” Mr. Cake explained. “This recipe we were working on took months of planning and testing. It wasn’t easy with the triplets and the competition being very close.”

“It’d be a shame if–” Mrs. Cake started, but, never got to finish. The cake began to wobble and Pinkie and Applejack had to straighten it out.

“Yeah, we should probably get more help,” Pinkie said. She looked and saw Rainbow and Fluttershy flying by. “A little pegassistance, please?”

The two pegasi were promptly pressed into service, flying on either side of the cake to try to balance it more delicately.

“So far, so good,” Mrs. Cake said gently. She and her husband were sweating profusely.

Pinkie then turned her attention to see Twilight and Spike. They were out for a walk after some hard work at the Golden Oak Library. “Hey, Twilight!” the pink mare called. “Could you help us out here?”

Twilight did indeed help. With Spike riding on her back, Twilight used her magic to make a force field bubble around the cake.

“Thanks for being here for moral support, Spike,” Pinkie smiled. She then spotted Rarity. “Hey, Rarity. Think you can team up with Applejack for something? One last safety measure.”

Rarity helped Twilight maintain the force field.

“That’s it,” Pinkie said, seeing the train depot in view. “We’re in the homestretch now.”

The train to Canterlot was already there, waiting to take them to the competition.

“We made it,” Pinkie said. “Good job, everypony. Now, we just have to get it…” Pinkie looked and saw the door was smaller than she thought. “...in?”

Mr. Cake fainted on the spot. Spike, however, had an idea.

“I already have an idea to solve this,” he said. “My mom can teleport the cake and the ones carrying it inside.”

“It will take a lot of concentration,” Twilight said. “But, I’ll do it.” She focused her magic and, sure enough, Spike’s idea worked.

“Good plan, Spike,” Pinkie smiled. “Thanks, Twilight.” The cake was moved carefully onto a table conveniently set up.

“Luckily, we paid for the careful run,” Mrs. Cake said. “It may take longer to get there, but, this will ensure that our cake is safe.”

Big McIntosh straightened his back out, making audible joint popping noises as he did. “Ugh…”

“That must be one heavy cake,” Spike observed.

“Eeyup,” Big McIntosh admitted.

“Remember, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said sternly. “Make sure nothing happens to that cake before the competition. If we hear of any bites taken before the competition, I’ll have you wash all of Sugarcube Corner from top to bottom.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Pinkie saluted with her chest puffed out. Seconds afterwards, the chest muscles fell to Pinkie’s belly, making it look round. Pinkie looked at it and simply shrugged.**

“Thanks again for doing this for us, Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake said kindly and she kissed Pinkie’s forehead. “Be safe.” With that, the Cakes exited the train. No sooner had they done so than Caramel and the Cutie Mark Crusaders boarded the train.

“Howdy, y’all,” Apple Bloom smiled.

“What’re you four doing here?” Spike asked.

“Considering that Shining Armor and Princess Cadance’s wedding will be in a few days,” Caramel explained. “We should be joining you too since we’ll be seeing the wedding. Maybe also take part in it?”

“Besides, you’ll be in Canterlot for a few days anyway,” Scootaloo said. “It’d be pretty annoying to go to Canterlot and come all the way back just to learn you have to go back again.”

“Hmm,” Applejack said. “That’s a mighty good point.”

“And after we deliver the cake,” Twilight said. “I can introduce you to some of my Canterlot friends.”

“Especially since they’re the ones who treat Spike with respect,” Sweetie Belle said. “Then, we’ll be glad of that.”

“I just hope one will show up,” Twilight said.

“Who?” the Cutie Mark Crusaders asked.

“Moon Dancer,” Spike explained. “My mom’s been trying to contact her for a while, but, she doesn’t reply.”

“Hopefully she can make it,” Scootaloo said.

“Well, we know from her sister, Morning Roast***, that she’s okay,” Spike said.

“That’s good,” Sweetie Belle smiled.

“Too bad Big Mac can’t come,” Spike said. “We better make sure to bring back something for him.”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom said. “Even in the fancy city o’ Canterlot, there might be somethin’ that Big Mac’ll like. He don’t like things too fancy, ya know.”

"Make sure you get the prize winning tastiest treat of them all!" Pinkie proudly declared. "And I know for a fact it'll be the Cakes' very own Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness." Licking her lips she eyed the triple-layered cake while describing it in delicious detail. "All that rich creamy goodness of the marzipan, combined with the tart tanginess of the mascarpone, blended perfectly with the smooth, silky sweetness of the meringue! That's why I call it 'The MMMM' for short!"

“Mmmm~” Applejack said, licking her lips. “It’s too bad we ain’t allowed ta sample it. Yer makin’ that cake sound like a real dee-light.”

“No free samples!” Pinkie said. “The Cakes gave me strict orders not to let the cake be touched before the competition tomorrow.”

“Can I say something?” Spike asked Twilight.

“Of course,” Twilight said.

Spike cleared his throat. “Pinkie, if you keep describing the cake like that, you're going to tempt others to take a bite, which you're supposed to be preventing before the competition.”

“But, I have to be supportive of the Cakes’ work,” Pinkie said. “After all, wouldn’t you be proud of Twilight’s work?”

“Look,” Spike said. “If you want to sing the Cakes' praises, that's fine, but, you said yourself that the cake isn't supposed to have so much as a bite taken out of it before the competition tomorrow. If you describe that cake in so much detail, you're going to tempt all listening to take a bite before we even get there.”****

Pinkie was about to reply until she put some thought into Spike’s words. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Pinkie said. “Well, I’ll try and tone it down, but, it won't be easy. I mean, this is sure to win.”

“Ha!” a haughty sounding voice scoffed. “Zat is where you are wrong, mademoiselle!” Stepping onto the train is a griffon with mostly white and gray feathers wearing a white chef’s hat and a red ascot. He was carrying a dessert tray covered in a silver cloche. “I, Gustave le Grande, will be ze champion of ze National Dessert Competition. For, as lovely as your so-called cake is, it pales in comparison to my exceptionally elegant eclairs!”

“Wait, where’d you come from?” Spike asked.

“Ze door, of course,” Gustave explained plainly. “As for location, I may have been born in Griffonstone, but, I am far too civilized to be a rabble rouser as zey are.”

“How long have you been in Ponyville?” Spike asked. “I’ve never seen you there before today.”

“I’ve been here gazering supplies for my eclairs for ze last two days,” Gustave explained. “Civilized or not, I am still a griffon. We are not known for being zat outgoing.”

“Regardless,” said another voice. “You ain’t got a chance against my dessert, pal.” 

Stepping onto the train was a somewhat more familiar figure to most of the others, especially Twilight and Spike.

“Donut Joe?” Spike said. “How long have you been in Ponyville?”

“Just for a few days,” Donut Joe explained. “I’m just here picking up the all-important ingredient for my dessert.” He lifted the cloche of the dessert tray he was carrying to show a city made of donuts. “Behold, Donutopia! And with these super sprinkles, they’ll guarantee me a win and make my Canterlot donut shop famous!”

“Your dippy donuts are no match for my dessert, Joe, dear,” said a third voice. It was an older voice with an unusual accent. What was even more unusual was what came onto the dessert car: a chocolate mousse sculpted into the shape of a moose. From behind it emerged a molly (female mule). “How do you do? I’m Mulia Mild and I present to you all my chocolate mousse moose.”

“I’m guessing you were here for supplies, too?” Spike said.

“Why yes, my dear,” Mulia said. “It takes a lot to keep a mousse set, you know.”

“Neither you nor Gustave have any issue with me being a dragon?” Spike asked.

“Certainly not,” Gustave said. “Even I was appalled when I heard zat ruffian Gilda boast of her slapping a baby regardless of species. I have little tolerance for zat.”

“And I don’t have any reason to have issue with it,” Mulia said. “You’re not doing anything to hurt anypony, mule, or griffon.”

“Wow, thanks,” Spike smiled. He then looked over the other entries. “I’ll admit, these look appealing.”

“They should,” Donut Joe smirked. “I mean, my dessert has as much right to win as the others do.”

“Uh, don’t you mean chance?” Spike said.

“I know what I said,” Donut Joe said.

Just then the train whistle sounded, and the train car lurched forward as it departed the station in Ponyville, bound for Canterlot.

“Well,” Applejack said. “All y’all have as good a shot at winnin’. It ain’t up ta us ta decide that, though.”

“Applejack’s right,” Twilight said. “You all have desserts to be proud of. The competition isn’t until tomorrow and it’s a long train ride there. So, let’s get a good night's sleep and we’ll let the judges decide tomorrow.”

Gustave, Joe, and Mulia went to the sleeper cars. Pinkie, however, became worried.

“The rest of you can go,” she said. “I’m staying here to guard the cake tonight.”

“Guard the cake?” Rainbow asked. “What are you talking about? Why would you want to do that?”

“So none of the other bakers sabotage the cake,” Pinkie said.

“What?” Rarity asked. “I mean, I am aware that it is going to be a competition, but, do you really think any of them would want to sabotage the cake?”

“I’m not taking any chances,” Pinkie said. “I don’t know them well enough to trust they won’t.”

“‘N you ain’t goin’ ta sabotage the other chef’s desserts, are ya?” Applejack asked sternly.

Pinkie was shocked. “Of course I wouldn’t sabotage the competition!” she said. “I’m not you or Rainbow Dash.”*****

“Ah’ll ignore that,” Applejack said. “Still, ah understand ya made a commitment ta keepin’ the cake safe, but, this is goin’ a bit too far.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Pinkie said. “You didn’t come back to Ponyville over something like not winning a rodeo, tried to harvest all of Sweet Apple Acres on your own while taking on other commitments, judged me for being an unfit foalsitter, and then, the Running of the–”

“Pinkie, Applejack, stop!” Twilight exclaimed, interrupting the fight. “Pinkie’s made her decision and we should respect it. Honestly, we’ve faced Nightmare Moon and Discord and won both times. Are you really going to resort to petty arguments like this again?” 

Applejack and Pinkie both heard Twilight’s words and they both calmed down.

“Yeah, yer right, Twilight,” Applejack said. She took off her hat and held it up to her chest. “Ah’m powerful sorry, Pinkie Pie.”

“I’m sorry, too, Applejack,” Pinkie said. “It’s just that this means a lot to the Cakes. And if it means a lot to them, then it means a lot to me. I didn’t mean to point out your flaws. Friends?”

“Definitely friends,” Applejack said. “N’ ah respect yer decision.”

The two earth pony mares hugged it out, reconciling.

“Now, let’s leave Pinkie to her work,” Twilight said.

“I know you’ll be looking after the cake,” Fluttershy said. “But, please make sure you get some time to rest, Pinkie. We wouldn’t want you to get sick.”

“I’ll be okie, dokie, and lokie,” Pinkie said. “Goodnight, everypony. Goodnight, Spike.”

After saying their goodnights, the others went to the sleeper cars while Pinkie stayed in the dessert car to keep an eye on the cake. On the way, Rainbow found her voice.

“I just hope this doesn’t become another Smarty Pants incident,” she said. Twilight stopped in her tracks and used her magic to force Rainbow to look her in the eyes. She could see literal fire in them. “I take it back, I take it back!”

“You got that right,” Twilight said with a low growl before she released Rainbow.

“She’s still a bit sore about you getting me in trouble,” Spike said. “Reminding her of that doesn’t help.”

“Noted,” Rainbow said, guiltily.

So, it was that Pinkie Pie kept a silent vigil over the cake that night, even after everyone else had gone to bed. She marched back and forth in front of the cake, keeping one eye on it at all times while the other kept watch for any signs of anything suspicious.

“Don’t worry, MMMM,” Pinkie said. “I’ll make sure you’re safe and sound. Nopony, mule, or griffon is going to tamper with you while I’m around.”

Minutes passed by slowly. At least for Pinkie.

“Nothing’s happening yet,” she said to herself. “But, that doesn’t mean nothing is going to happen.” Suddenly there was a faint whooshing noise as something (or someone) ran right past her. Pinkie gasped. “What was that? I knew it. One of the other bakers is about to tamper with the MMMM! I have to catch them first!” She took off running.

Pinkie chased after the supposed suspect towards the caboose. But, when she reached out the back, she couldn’t find anyone, be they pony, dragon, griffon, or mule.

“They got away,” Pinkie said. She then remembered the cake. “I have to get back before it’s too late!”

She quickly made her way back to the dessert car. As soon as she did, she spotted another shadowy figure at the other end.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Pinkie said as she charged at this other figure.

She chased this figure all the way up to the engine. But, instead of finding potential subjects, she saw the silhouetted engineer and firepony, the bright light from the firebox casting great shadows as the firepony shoveled coal.

“Oh, uh, excuse me,” Pinkie said politely. “But, you didn’t happen to see anyone else run in here besides me, did you?”

“Can’t say I have,” the engineer said without looking back. “Just been me and the firepony all night. We're takin' turns restin' so one of us is awake in case of an emergency.”

“Oh, okay,” Pinkie nodded while thinking the firepony looked strangely familiar. “Thank you and keep up the good work.” And with that, she made her way back to the dessert car. She took her place in front of the cake again as she declared. "Thank Celestia it's still okay!"

But, as she continued to watch over the cake, the curtains in the dessert car suddenly closed.

“Hey, who turned off the moon?” Pinkie asked. Then, she gasped. “Thief! Don’t you come near this cake!” She then heard hooves clattering. "Stop, thief!" The hoof clattering was interrupted by a loud thud. "Are you okay, thief?" The party pony questioned, but, received no reply as the curtains opened again. She spotted a crooked painting near one of the train car doors (the one nearest the moose). She inspected it, but, saw nothing out of the ordinary as she returned it to its proper position. “Hmph, going overboard, am I? I knew that the cake would have others try to tamper with it. Well, I’ll stay by this cake all night if I have to.” She looked at the cake with a serious expression. However, her heavy eyelids and tired hooves prevented her from staying up and she fell asleep on the spot. She didn't wake up until she heard the crow of the rooster the next morning. "Huh, what?" She slowly stumbled awake after scratching her ear not unlike a dog, returning to a standing position even though she didn't remember laying down for more than a few seconds. “Oh! It’s morning! Ah! The cake!” She looked it over as Twilight and Spike entered. Pinkie then gasped loudly.

“What is it, Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie turned the tray that the cake was on and presented a horrific sight: the cake had bites taken out of it on all but one of its four tiers. Twilight wore a similarly surprised expression. Spike’s however, was deadpan.

“I’m not even really surprised this happened,” he said.

It wasn’t long before the other passengers came out of the sleeper cars. Rarity strangely had her mane covering her right eye.

“Pinkie, are ya alright?” Applejack asked, noticing the horrified look on the pink mare’s face.

“No,” Pinkie said. “I’m far from being alright.” She gestured to the cake, revealing the bites. “The cake was sabotaged just like I said!”

Most of the others gasped.

“But, who could have done this?” Twilight asked. “Having read many a mystery novel, we must get all of the facts and look for clues.”

"Not to worry," Pinkie Pie proudly proclaimed as she produced a blue and white checkered detective hat and a bubble pipe. "I always wanted to be a detective. And luckily, I always carry these detective hats around in case of detective emergencies."

“Wait, yer goin’ ta be the detective?” Apple Bloom asked.

“This ought to be interesting,” Scootaloo whispered to the other crusaders.

"Exactly!" Pinkie declared with an exceptionally bright smile. "And Twilight here shall be my lowly assistant who always asks silly questions with obvious answers." She proceeded to put a plain black detective hat on Twilight's head, even covering up her horn.

“Okay, Detective Pinkie,” Twilight said. “So, shall we start looking for clues?”

Pinkie blew on the bubble pipe for a bit before declaring in a somewhat posh and elegant tone of voice, "A silly question indeed, assistant. Because the answer is obvious."

“Yes?” Twilight asked.

But, the party pony just adjusted her detective's hat as she replied. "Normally, you'd be right. But, not this time, assistant. I don't need to look for clues, because I'm the detective and you're the assistant. Besides, I already know who did it. It's so obvious."

“Obvious?” Sweetie Belle asked. “So, who do you think did it?”

Pinkie replied, "A feather left at the scene of the crime is all the proof I need. Another baker wanted to sabotage The MMMM, and last night they seized their opportunity to do so! This dastardly deed was done by the baker who knew their dessert could not measure up to the mastery of The Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness." Then, she made her accusation as her eyes narrowed. "I guess you feared your éclairs lacked flair, eh, Gustave!"

Pinkie explained the details of how Gustave’s “dastardly deed” went down in the style of an old fashioned movie. Gustave served as a stereotypical mustache-twirling villain wearing a black top hat and cape. Silently, he stalked his prey: The MMMM. When he thought no one was looking, he reached out a claw to grab it. Pinkie, who is uncharacteristically black and white from the old fashioned video filter, intervenes.

“Unhand that cake, you cur!” Pinkie said, albeit silently.

However, that was just what Gustave wanted. He lured Pinkie Pie to the back of the train and then flew up to the ceiling in the caboose to avoid detection. When Pinkie stumbled out onto the rear view balcony, he seized his opportunity. He swooped down, snatched her up, and then flew out ahead of the train. He then made his way back to the cake and he put it on a sawmill conveyor belt. He turned his head to avoid getting too covered in cake mess. As for the captive bound pink party pony, she managed to wiggle free of her restraints and hop off the track with the rope still hugging her body. She stumbled back to the dessert car only to find that she was too late, the MMMM had been destroyed and Gustave had fled the scene.

Back to present day, Pinkie was finishing her explanation.

“Thus, crushing the Cakes’ chances to win,” Pinkie concluded. “What do you have to say for yourself, Gustave?”

“...Zat was ze most asinine zing I ever heard!” Gustave proclaimed.

“Only you could’ve left a feather behind,” Pinkie said.

“Uh, Pinkie, take a closer look at the feather,” Spike said.

Pinkie walked over towards the back of the caboose, since the feather was still there. She then went back to the dessert car and compared the color of it to Gustave’s own. They were different colors.

“Okay, it doesn’t match.” Pinkie said. “So, he’s off the hook. Which means that another chef was responsible.”

“Hold up, Pinkie,” Spike said. “There’s several other things wrong with your Gustave theory. If he tied you up and threw you in front of the train, don’t you think the engineer would’ve seen you and tried to stop the train?”

“That’s-” Pinkie started, before she thought it over. “Actually a really good point.”

“And on top of that,” Twilight said. “The cake hasn’t been cut with sawblades. It’s been bitten. Look at the teeth marks on the tiers.”

“And compare them to the size of Gustave’s beak,” Spike said.

“Okay, I get your point,” Pinkie said. “I already said he’s off the hook and that there's another baker who was responsible. And with the strand of hair I saw in the engine, it led me to believe that it was the baker who’s donuts are do-nots. That’s right, it was you, Donut Joe, if that is your real name. You sabotaged the cake and pinned the blame on Gustave!”

“Well, it’s really just Joe,” the stallion said before shaking his head. “But, why would you think I damaged that cake or framed Gustave?”

“Because that’s how you spies are,” Pinkie explained. “That’s right, I know the truth. You are known in the spy world as Mane. Con Mane.”

She then began explaining. In a different part of the train, Con Mane, wearing a white tuxedo coat and red bow tie was mingling with various mares. Suddenly, a hi-tech wrist mounted watch informed the undercover agent that it was time for him to carry out his assignment: the destruction of The MMMM. Excusing himself, the spy stallion slipped away to the dessert car. When he got close, he used a special gadget to cut a small hole in the glass of the back door window. Then, he used his magic to toss a small pellet into the car. The pellet unloaded a fine mist that filled the air and caused Pinkie, who was guarding the cake, to drift to sleep. The spy waited for the gas to disperse before slipping into the dessert car, taking care to plant the feather where he knew somepony would find it. As he got close, he could see that the cake was guarded by a laser security grid. But, that was easily thwarted with the use of a mirror, slicing the cake apart by redirecting the laser beams.

“Thus,” Pinkie concluded. “Foiling the Cakes’ chance of winning. You thought you could get away with it by pinning this whole mess on Gustave, did you? Well, you thought wrong.”

“That’s even stupider than your last theory,” Donut Joe said. “What the tartarus is a wrist? What the tartarus is a laser beam? And Con Mare is a character in a movie.”

“Based on the exploits of your endeavors,” Pinkie said.

“Pinkie, please,” Spike said. “My mom and I know Donut Joe personally and he is in no way like Con Mane. Joe is a causal stallion with a good listening ear.”

“Thank you, Spike,” Joe smiled.

“Besides, look around the windows,” Spike said. “Not a hole to be found. So, if there’s no hole, there’s no smoke-releasing pellet to throw in there.”

“And this car doesn’t have a security system more advanced than locked doors and windows,” Twilight said.

“Hmm,” Pinkie said, considering these. “You guys may be right about this.”

“May be?” Spike asked.

“But,” Pinkie continued. “Thanks to an eyelash I found in the dessert car, I know 100 percent who did it. It came off of a baker of a dessert that just can’t seem to look me in the eye. The mule behind the mousse moose is also the one behind her elaborate plan to sabotage the cake and frame Gustave and Donut Joe. That’s right. I knew it was you all along, Mulia Mild!”

Spike could only facepalm. “Even though this is likely to be even more ridiculous, please explain how it went down.”

“Gladly,” Pinkie said confidently.

Pinkie then explained how Mulia is in fact a ninja. She stealthily moved on top of the train and snuck in the dessert car. Pinkie kept patrolling back and forth in front of The MMMM the whole time, unaware that she was being watched from above. After the curtains closed, Mulia snuck up to Pinkie and hit her in the back of the head with a frying pan. The mare fell unconscious. Then, Mulia locked eyes with her target: The MMMM. She took out a sword that had been tucked into the side of her uniform and leaped into the air, swinging the sword rapidly and slashing at the cake.

“And with the Cakes’ cake destroyed,” Pinkie concluded. “That gave her the winning prize for her mousse moose and leaving me and the other bakers in the dust.”

Twilight threw her assistant’s hat on the floor. “That’s your most ridiculous theory yet!” she said. "Just look at Mulia! Does she look like she could've possibly done those crazy ninja things you say she did? Does she look like she could've framed Gustave and Donut Joe?"

Pinkie looked at Mulia, who was cowering with fright at the idea of Pinkie’s accusation. “Well, I guess she couldn’t have done it,” she admitted.

“If you ask me,” Rainbow said. “If anypony here’s suspicious, it’s Pinkie. She was around the cake longer than any of us and it’s a well-documented fact that when it comes to desserts, she has the self-control of a dead mackerel.” Spike found it odd that Rainbow said everypony when some of the passengers weren’t ponies.

“Thanks to Twilight and Spike, I’m learning to get better at that,” Pinkie said. “After all, Mr. and Mrs. Cake did tell me not to take a bite of this cake before the competition. Besides, I can’t even eat the cake anyway. I’m allergic to one of the ingredients.”

“Rainbow,” Spike said. “You can’t accuse Pinkie without proof.”

“Why not?” Rainbow challenged. “Pinkie’s been doing that all morning.”

“Yeah,” Spike said. “Only because this matters to Pinkie and she does have a reason to worry. She does have a looming threat of having to clean all of Sugarcube Corner from top to bottom after all. Now, suppose Pinkie did lose control. Explain why only the cake has bites while the other desserts are untouched.”

“You do have a point there, Spike,” Pinkie said. Spike realized his mistake.

Uh oh… Spike thought to himself. I think I know where this is going.

“I mean, just look at Joe’s Donutopia,” Pinkie said. “Topped temptingly with spriklicious sprinkles and such sweet baked and fried goodness. And Gustave’s exceptionally exquisite eclairs invite you to taste their glorious glaziness. And Mulia’s mousse moose and its smooth silky chocolatey goodness. So, why would the vandal only go after the MMMM while leaving this trio of tasty treats untouched?”

“Probably because somepony didn’t use such tempting descriptions of them until now,” Spike said.

Just as Spike had feared, when the train entered a tunnel, they heard the sound of various munching. When the train exited the tunnel, they other treats were partially eaten.

“You see, Pinkie?” Spike said. “This? This right here is exactly what I was talking about.”

Pinkie stammered worriedly. “But, who could have done this?!”

“Well,” Spike said. “Since neither Gustave, Donut Joe, or Mulia were even on the train when you described the cake, they couldn’t have been tempted to eat it.”

“So,” Twilight said. “What needs to be done is to fully analyze the clues that were left behind and question others about it.” She levitated the derby onto Pinkie’s head, grabbed the detective hat, and grabbed the bubble pipe after wiping it down. “This time, a competent mare is investigating. Now then, you're sure you were at the scene of the crime all night?”

Pinkie gasped. “You aren’t accusing me, too, aren’t you, Twilight?”

Twilight explained. "I'm not accusing you, Pinkie. I know how much the MMMM meant to you. However, I need to know where you found those clues and when. Maybe you saw something that'll help us find out who did do it."

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, I can do that,” she said. “Well, I started out standing by the cake when I saw a shadowy figure in the moonlight.”

“Good,” Twilight smiled. “Let’s retrace your steps.”

“Not literally, Pinkie,” Spike said.

So, Pinkie led Twilight and Spike towards the caboose. "When I got here,” she said. “I tumbled out on the rear-view balcony. But, the culprit was gone! It was like they'd just vanished."

“And it was right around here where you found the feather?” Spike asked. Pinkie gave a confirming nod, sounding like a rattle. “Hmm, what do you think, Mom?”

“I think we should have a closer look at said feather,” Twilight said.

“Right,” Spike said.

Pinkie gave them the feather and they inspected it.

“This confirms a hunch I have,” Spike said.

“Right,” Twilight said. “But, let’s investigate more.” She then turned her attention to Pinkie after storing the feather in an envelope. “Alright, Pinkie. What happened next?”

Pinkie raced back to the dessert car as she recalled. "I returned here and I thought I saw somepony, dragon, griffon, or mule else. So, I chased them up to the engine, but, when I got there, all I saw were the engineer and firepony. I asked them about it, but, they told me they hadn’t seen anyone else besides me.” She held out a pink strand of hair. “That’s when I found this.”

“Whoa,” Spike said as he looked it over. “I wouldn’t think that…”

“What else, Pinkie?” Twilight asked as she stored the hair in another envelope.

“I went back to the dessert car,” Pinkie explained. “I was guarding the cake when all of a sudden, the curtains mysteriously closed by themselves. I heard hooves clattering, a loud thud, and then, the curtains opened up again. When my eyes readjusted to the light, I couldn’t see anyone there. What was really odd, though, was that the portrait by the wall was all crooked. That’s when I found the eyelash.”

She held it to Spike and Twilight. Spike held it and noticed something rubbing off on his claws.

“No way…” Spike gasped.

Twilight put the eyelash in another envelope. “Anything else, Pinkie? Anything at all?”

“That was it,” Pinkie said. “I stood by the cake for the rest of the night… and then, I fell asleep. I woke up this morning and saw that the cake had those bites.” She sighed sadly. “How am I going to explain that I let the MMMM get ruined to the Cakes? Or that I didn’t catch who did it?”

“We believe we already figured out who did,” Spike said. “Though, we’ll need your help.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Pinkie nodded.

“When I nudge your leg,” Spike said. “I need you to bring up the possibility of the Cakes kicking you out.”

“What?!” Pinkie gasped.

“Just trust me on this,” Spike said.

“Gather everypony, griffon, and mule back to the crime scene,” Twilight said. “We have a culprit to find.”

A short time later, everyone gathered back into the dessert car. Twilight smiled while blowing on the bubble pipe, before taking it out of her mouth to say, "I suppose you're all wondering why I've called you here today."

“The thought has crossed my mind,” Sweetie Belle admitted.

“Well, me, my mom, and Pinkie discovered who’s really behind what happened to the cake,” Spike said.

“That’s right,” Twilight said. “When committing a crime, it is crucial that one never leaves behind any clues. Especially not an obvious one like this aforementioned feather.” Twilight pulled the blue feather out for all to see.

“There’s only one passenger here with blue feathers,” Spike said. “But, before we investigated, that pony already gave herself away with a slip of the tongue.”

“What?” Rainbow asked. “But, how?”

“Simple,” Spike said. “You said ‘if anypony here was suspicious,’ when not all the passengers on the train are ponies. Your reaction just now proves it further.”

Rainbow, realizing her mistake, suddenly clamped her mouth shut with her forehooves. Scootaloo gasped at this and turned to face her angrily.

“Rainbow, how could you?!” she snapped. “First you prank Spike, now you make Pinkie look bad? Who’ll you stab in the back next?!”

Rainbow winced at the comment and then sighed sadly. “Nopony,” she said. “Okay, you’re right. I did take a bite of the cake and tried to pin it on Pinkie. Well, I’m going to make things right with her. When we get back to Ponyville, I’m going to help Pinkie clean up all of Sugarcube Corner from top to bottom.”

“And apologize for taking three bites out of the cake!” Pinkie said.

“I only took one bite!” Rainbow said. “Honest!”

“Uh-huh,” Pinkie said skeptically before turning to Applejack, who had her Mystic Eyes active. “AJ says…”

“She’s tellin’ the truth,” she concluded. “She did take one bite.”

“Let me try something,” Spike said. “Applejack, did you take any bite yourself?”

“Nope,” Applejack answered directly.

“Okay,” Spike said. “She’s clean. To those of you who don’t know, when Applejack tells a lie, she gets sick to her stomach. To prove it, I’m going to whisper something into her ear for her to say. Applejack, come here.”

Applejack came forward, albeit hesitantly. Spike whispered it into her ear. Applejack swallowed hard. “Werewolves sell real estate on the moon,” she said. In that very instant, she started gagging while her belly made a painful rumble. “Pardon me.”

“Are you alright, dear?” Mulia asked kindly. “I have some bicarbonate of soda to help you with your stomach troubles.”

“Now, watch what happens when she says something true,” Spike said before whispering in the farm mare’s ear again.

“Bees ain’t actually got knees, just different segments in their legs,” Applejack said. She didn’t gag or give off any other signs of nausea. “Wait, that’s actually true?”

“It sure is,” Spike said.

“Fun facts or not,” Rainbow said. “My fact is that I’m still sorry for taking a bite of the cake, Pinkie. I promise to make things right with you.”

“There’s still another culprit,” Spike said. “She’s giving herself away right now.”

“I zought you said Applejack was innocent,” Gustave said, slightly confused. “To whom are you referring to?”

“Well, Rarity’s been using her mane to cover her right eye since this morning,” Spike said.

“What?!” Rarity gasped. “I-is it a crime to change one’s style every now and again? Why, I think it’s a crime not to.”

“When we found the eyelash,” Spike said. “Some mascara rubbed off on my claw. I recognize it as the kind Rarity uses. I’ve known her long enough to use Radiant Onyx number 14.”

“Actually,” Rarity corrected while unwittingly flipping her mane. “It’s Radiant Onyx number 15 and-” She held onto her mouth, realizing she made a fatal mistake. The others gasped, Sweetie Belle especially.

“Rarity?!” Sweetie said in shock. “You too?!”

“Yes, I admit it!” Rarity sobbed. “I not only took a bite of the cake, but, I also wear false eyelashes!”

“You put mascara on false eyelashes?” Pinkie asked. “That’s kind of weird.”

“I had to do something to hide my madarosis,” Rarity said. She then sighed and said. “But, I do so apologize. I shall also help to make sure that all of Sugarcube Corner is cleaned from top to bottom. Why, I’ll even suck up my pride and clean the triplets’ nursery.”

“There’s still the issue of the middle bite,” Spike said, nudging Pinkie’s leg.

“Oh, what difference does it make?” Pinkie said. “The cake getting ruined is still my fault. Considering those three big bites happened on my watch, they might do something worse than making me clean their shop. They might kick me out.”

“Kick ya out?” Applejack asked. “Ah never heard Mr. n’ Mrs. Cake tell ya that. Even if that was true, where would ya live?”

“I don’t know,” Pinkie said. “But, maybe I can find an empty dumpster to live in.”

“Stop!” Fluttershy called out, tears welling in her eyes. “I can’t stand it anymore! I was the one who took a bite of the middle tier! I even disguised myself as the firepony since she looks so much like me! I’m guilty, so, I should be punished!” She bawled.

Applejack looked at her with her Mystic Eyes. She suddenly gasped. “She’s also tellin’ the truth!” she said. “Ah can understand Rainbow takin’ a bite, but, Fluttershy?”

“It’s true,” Fluttershy squeaked, wiping a tear from her eye. “Even when Pinkie described how good it tasted, I should have stopped myself. But, I didn’t and I feel just awful. No cake is worth the idea of Pinkie becoming homeless over something that wasn’t her fault.”

The three mares hung their heads sadly.

“Thank you all for apologizing and for promising to make things right,” Pinkie said. “That solves who took bites of the MMMM, but, it still doesn’t explain who took bites of the other three bakers’ desserts.”

“I’ll bet the same culprits who bit the cake did the same to the other desserts,” Sweetie Belle said. “It wouldn’t surprise me.”

“I didn’t touch any of them,” Rarity said.

“Me neither,” Rainbow said.

“Neither have I,” Fluttershy said. “The way I feel right now, I can’t even look at desserts.”

“Well, we know what we have to do now, right?” Pinkie asked Twilight and Spike.

“Ask Applejack which of them’s lying,” Scootaloo said.

“They’re still tellin’ the truth,” Applejack said. “Before y’all start pointin’ hooves again, let Spike, Twilight, n’ Pinkie actually investigate.”

“That’s exactly what I was going to say we were going to do,” Pinkie said.

Twilight smiled, returning Pinkie’s detective hat and bubble pipe after wiping down the mouthpiece. She then levitated the derby onto her own head. Pinkie then looked over the remnants of the other three partially devoured desserts. She then looked over the other passengers, minus the ones she knew were already innocent. After a few moments, Pinkie finally found what she was looking for.

“So?” Caramel asked. “Who done it? Or, is it, who did it? Wait, what’s this about again?”

“Well, that proves he didn’t do it,” Scootaloo said. “He doesn’t even remember what’s going on.”

“To answer your question as to who really did it,” Pinkie explained. “It was none other than… the other bakers! For you see, Gustave has mousse in his mustache. Joe has eclair in his hair. And Mulia has sprinkles in her wrinkles. Well, what do you three have to say about this?”

There was a long and uncomfortable silence in the dessert car as all eyes now fell upon the three bakers, each now implicated directly in the destruction of a competitor's dessert. For a while, none of them knew what to say and no one else dared to speak.

“Oh, Mulia,” Gustave said at last. “I am ever-so sorry. Ze way Mademoiselle Pie spoke of your mousse moose, she made it sound tres magnifique.”

“Same about the eclairs, Le Grande,” Donut Joe said. “She made them sound real scrumptious.”

“And the way she spoke of your Donutopia,” Mulia apologized. “She made them too heavenly to resist.”

The three bakers sincerely apologized to each other. Pinkie sighed sadly.

“So this whole fiasco really was my fault,” she said. “I messed everything up for all of the bakers and for the Cakes. You were right before, Spike. I really do need to be careful with what I say. Even with the ones ruining the cake confessing, I’ll still be punished when I have to explain it to the Cakes.”

“When we explain what happened,” Rarity said. “We won’t let a friend take all of the blame for something that we did. I owe it as the Element of Generosity to offer my services to you.”

“And me as the Element of Kindness,” Fluttershy said.

“And me as the Element of Loyalty,” Rainbow said. “We all really messed up, but, we’re going to clean things up.”

“I was responsible for making sure nothing happened to the cake,” Pinkie said. “Those bites happened on my watch. I have to take responsibility.”

“So do we,” Fluttershy said.

“Y’all feel good ‘bout yerselves?” Applejack asked. “Was the cake worth yer ‘tegrity n’ self-respect?”

“No,” all three guilty mares said sadly.

“We didn’t think–” Rainbow started before Applejack cut her off.

“Ya never do,” Applejack said. “Y’all can start thinkin’ when y’all have ta share Pinkie’s punishment, too.****** Ah may have an appreciation fer food as much as anypony, but, mah ‘tegrity’s worth more’n any food ever made.”

“You’re right, Applejack,” Rarity said sadly. “I’ll make amends just like I did during the Sisterhooves Social.”

“I forgive you girls,” Pinkie said. “But, Mr. Cake won’t be so forgiving. On my first week of apprenticeship, I accidentally ruined a cake for an important client and he had me clean the entire building from top to bottom all by myself.” She shuddered. “I still remember having to clean the bedroom.”

“Oh!” Gustave gasped as the train came to a stop. “Zat reminds me. Now zat we only have remnants of our desserts, we do not have anyzing for ze judges to look over for ze competition. And we have just arrived at Canterlot!”

Pinkie Pie winked and smiled. "I have to make it up to you all for accusing you without proof. Come on, I think I know of a way to fix this. It'll take some real baking magic, but I think together we can pull it off!"

So, Pinkie led the three chefs to the Canterlot kitchens since the bakers were allowed to use them for the National Dessert Competition. It did take a lot of effort and mishmoshing, but, together, the four chefs combined the remnant parts of their desserts into one big fantastic treat. They were of course careful to remove any parts of the dessert that had saliva on them so as not to risk the judges getting accidentally sick. Soon, it was time for their dessert to be presented. The judges were astounded by what they saw. They had never seen any dessert so unique. They were so impressed that the dessert won first prize.

“I shouldn’t have accused you three without proof,” Pinkie said. “That wasn’t right.”

"Seems like a very important lesson to have learned. Might even be good enough for a friendship letter, wouldn't you agree?" A familiar elegant voice asked. And then who should come trotting up on the scene but Princess Celestia herself in all her glory?

“I had a feeling you’d be here, Princess Celestia,” Twilight smiled. “Not only are you mandatorily present in events such as this, but, you also love desserts yourself, especially cake.”

“And yes, Princess,” Pinkie said. “I sure did learn something important from all of this. I learned that you should never jump to conclusions… again. You have to learn all the facts before saying somebody did something. If you don’t, you could end up blaming someone for something they never did. This could hurt their feelings and can make you look really foolish. So, from now on, I promise to get all of the facts.”

“A good lesson to learn,” Celestia admitted.

Pinkie then helped herself to one of the other competitors’ desserts.

“Hey, Pinkie,” Spike said. “You never said what ingredient in the cake you were allergic to.”

“Oh, the mascarpone,” Pinkie said. “Eating that makes me swell up like a balloon.”

“Then,” Spike said. “You probably shouldn’t have taken a bite out of that tiramisu. Mascarpone is one of the key components.”

Pinkie looked at the dessert she sampled, which was tiramisu. “Uh, oh,” she said before she instantly swelled up. “Are there any medics around here?”

Canterlot medics, who were there in case of emergency, came onto the scene to help Pinkie. They gave her a shot that caused the swelling to go down.

“It feels really gratifying to be here for my brother’s wedding,” Twilight said.

“Um, about that…” Celestia said awkwardly.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” Applejack asked.

“We’ve… received intel that Blueblood escaped the dungeon,” Celestia explained. “So, until he’s back in captivity, I’m afraid the wedding will be postponed and you’ll have to go back to Ponyville until further notice.”

“OH, COME ON!*******” Sweetie Belle said. “WE JUST GOT HERE!!!”

“You’re right,” Twilight said. “It is disheartening, but, orders are orders.”

“Besides,” Pinkie said. “We have to go back. The sooner we get back to Ponyville, the sooner we can explain to the Cakes what happened and pay the consequences. Wait, is it pay or face the consequences?”

“Either or,” Princess Celestia explained. “You must get back soon. There is an express train available.”

Spike could sense the Crusaders getting angrier and stepped in. “Hold on, girls,” Spike said. “I’m disappointed in Rarity, Rainbow, and Fluttershy, too, but, you can’t blame them for us having to go back. The circumstances for that are beyond their control. It’s not like they supplied Blueblood with tools to break out of the dungeon. Besides, from what you heard about him from them and myself, do you honestly believe they’d even want to help him?”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders took all of Spike’s information in and they slowly began to calm down.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Scootaloo said. “Thanks, Spike.”

“We’re sorry,” Sweetie Belle said.

“We were lookin’ forward ta seein’ the weddin’ is all,” Apple Bloom said.

“Tell you what,” Spike offered. “When we do get to see it, I’ll save some dances for each of you at the reception. I’ll even see if I can get you to be her flower fillies.******** How’s that?”

“Really?” Sweetie Belle said excitedly. “You’d do that for us?”

“That’d be great!” Scootaloo smiled.

“Ah can’t wait!” Apple Bloom beamed.

Later, Pinkie and the guilty mares finished explaining to the Cakes what happened on the train ride to Canterlot.

“So,” Mr. Cake said in tranquil fury. “You three decided to be greedy little fillies and thought you could get away with making Pinkie look bad, eh?”

Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Rarity all hung their heads lowly in shame.

“You’re all going to clean Sugarcube Corner from top to bottom,” Mr. Cake said. “With absolutely no use of wings or magic. If I catch you using either…” He smashed a table with a frying pan. “Get the picture?”

The four mares yelped in shock and they all dashed off on hoof to start cleaning the bakery. Mrs. Cake came up to Mr. Cake.

“Dear,” Mrs. Cake said. “I know you’re trying to get them to see reason, but, did you really have to smash that old table that was already coming undone?”

“I ran out of my stress pills,” Mr. Cake said. “And I don’t appreciate the time, money, and effort being wasted by three ponies who’re supposed to be Pinkie’s friends trying to make her look bad!”

Mrs. Cake gave Mr. Cake a replacement bottle filled with stress pills. “If they weren’t Pinkie’s friends, they wouldn’t be doing this to help her, now, would they? Sure, they made a mistake, but, everypony does. I picked up a refill on your prescription.”

Mr. Cake opened the bottle and took one of the pills. Immediately, since they were fast acting, his mood improved.

Within an hour, the building was spotless. Rarity was shuddering.

“That bedroom,” she said. “Was terrifying!”

“How bad could it be?” Rainbow asked.

“Well, you know how the Cakes kept trying to have foals for a while?” Pinkie said.*********

“Oh…” Rainbow started before finally getting the idea. “OH! Eww!”

“I have no more questions I want answered,” Fluttershy said.

“Well done, girls,” Mrs. Cake smiled. “You’ve all done a wonderful job.”

“Yes,” Mr. Cake said, putting the frying pan back. “And they’re not going to let this happen again, are they?”

“No, sir,” Rainbow said.

“Even though your bakes are absolutely delicious,” Rarity said. “We won’t even take as much as a nibble the next time you need Pinkie to escort it to a competition.”

“We promise,” Fluttershy said.

“Good,” Mr. Cake said.

And they indeed kept that promise, because though the dessert was so good, the guilt left an unsettling feeling in their stomachs and a bad taste in their mouths.

This episode is dedicated in loving memory of Jan Rabson, the original voice of Mulia Mild. 1954-2022.**********

End of chapter.