//------------------------------//
// 4 - Operational Error 
// Story: Sweet Button Mash 2: Electric Silveroo 
// by David Silver 
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Silver Spoon squinted at her creation. "You did it?"

"I did it." Silverbot inclined her head. "Please provide a new command."

Silver sighed softly. "Did Sweetie's tin can feel shame, and did it spread to Button and Sweetie Belle or what?"

"I did not observe this. What are they spreading? Did my accomplishment cause an illness? That is--" Silverbot paused to search her databanks. "--bad."

"No, no, I'm sorry." Silver patted her shoulder. "I just mean that I wanted you to show them how much better I am." Silver waved over Silverbot. "I built you, and you're better!"

"I was created with superior base materials, and the best of everything, not second hand garbage." She snorted.

Silver erupted into a sneer. "Now you're thinking right. Go show them how much better you are. That is your command. Got it?"

"Command received."  Silverbot strode out of the room, her head held high, and her digital sense of purpose restored.  “Crush! Kill! Destroy! Swag!”

“Silver, bestie, I don't wanna press you on this, but why did you program that particular phrase as your robot's catchphrase?”  Diamond Tiara raised an eye-brow at her friend.

“It doesn’t matter!" Silver declared, thrusting her hoof skyward.  “My master plan to ruin Sweetibelle’s dastardly plans is going exactly according to plan!  She will rue the day she tricked Button Mash into creating a robot in her image to steal his heart!”

“Sweet Celestia’s mercy.” Diamond Tiara mumbled under her breath.  “Is this what it was like hanging out with me?”





Button sat quietly, staring at the wall and trying to remember what had gone wrong and how he was going to fix it. Sweetie Bot had never acted like that before. Maybe he needed to recalibrate something, or get her more updates to help keep her feeling fulfilled with life?

Sweetie Belle dropped the grocery bag on the table beside him. "So! That could have gone better."

"Yeah..." Button finally let out the sigh he'd been holding in for a while. "I knew making her had the risk of her outgrowing her role, but I just didn't think she'd feel ashamed of what she'd done."

Sweetie Bot whirled on Button in a sudden return to life. "Of course I feel shame!" The last word autotuned wildly through octaves. "I neglected my duties to Cream Heart and got the wrong brand. Her day is ruined and it is entirely my fault."

Button gestured at the depressed robot, eyes on Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle smiled, sliding in next to her automaton of a double. "There there. Cream Heart is an understanding mare. She put up with Button, afterall, and--"

"Hey!" Button stomped with a mighty pout.

“Oh, Sweetie Bot, dear, you back?  Let’s see how my favorite little robot did, Hm…” Sweetie Bot’s ear servos flat lined as cream heart inspected the bag, eventually pulling out the offending tub of misbranded ice cream. “Gin and Berrie’s?” Sweetie Bot cringed before Cream let loose a squeal of joy.  “I’ve been wanting to try this brand!  But I’m just so used to Hoofen’Das’!  How did you know?”

“All SB-units are programed with a predictive algorithm.” Silverbot declared as she strode into the home.  “When fulfilling our commands we are programmed to make predictive choices in the name of FRIENDSHIP!  We are programed to be helpful, honest, and harmless!  Hello, friend Sweetie Bot!  I am on a mission to prove the superiority of our model of robot, the SB-Unit.  Can I recruit you to be of assistance?”

Button blinked at the palette-shifted version of his robot and its appearance. "Hey, uh, why are you here? And what are you? I didn't build you."

Sweetie Belle burst into giggles. "I'd know those glasses anywhere! You're a cute little Silver Spoon robot, aren't you? Hello, cutie pie."

Silverbot blushed with a big smile. "A pleasure. I have the designation of Silverbot. I require the assistance of that one." She pointed at Sweetie Bot. "Please assist me in utterly defeating you."

Cream Heart rubbed behind her head slowly. "Not my robot, not my problem." She strode past the whole thing, eyes ahead to where that ice cream was waiting for her. "Thank you, Sweetie Bot. You're a lovely thing."

Silverbot sniffed daintily. "Only inferior models require thankfulness."

"Maybe so." Button patted her shoulder.

“Wait!”  Sweetie Bot gasped in autotune.  Previous conflict over ice cream brands completely resolved, she turned Sweeie Belle.  “You are the game cheater who used AI to steal the top score on Pacmare and displace Friend Silverbot’s operator's initials on the leaderboard with your own?”

“Okay, obviously that’s not the case, the last possible high score on that machine was your run on a byte rollover… but you ran out of power on level 65.” Button pondered.  “And I certainly didn’t stick around to put in any initials.  I was in too big a hurry to get you home and plugged in to recharge.”

“Your dedication as a robot operator is commendable.”  Silverbot nodded curtly and all eyes in the room turned to Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle curled a hoof at herself. "Me?! I just put in Sweetie Bot's, um, and my, initials in after she felt bad and had to go. It was just the nice thing to do."

Silverbot suddenly turned from Sweetie Belle to her robotic double. "I still require your assistance. I must defeat you and prove I am the superior automaton to all ponies!"

Sweetie Bot tapped with metal clinks on her chin. "That sounds like a difficult task. Do you have to inform all ponies in the world?"

"Affirmative! The knowledge must spread far and wide, until I am universally acknowledged as the most amazingly beautiful and powerful robot that has ever existed!" She adjusted her glasses and fluttered her artificial lashes. "Will you assist me?"

“As an SB-Unit Ai produced and programmed to be helpful, harmless, and honest, it is my duty to aid my friends in accomplishing their goals!”  Sweetie Bot proclaimed.

“Oh, cool, you guys met Silverbot!  I gave her some pointers, and she OWNS the Pacmare console now.”  Rumble sauntered in sipping a juicebox.  “I clued her in that there’s a maximum top score on Pacmare,  and if you get it, you got it forever on that machine.  Ya’ll wanna go grab some milkshakes?”

“I will sit beside you and quietly contemplate my victory while you drink a milkshake.” Silverbot 2000 cheerfully droned.  “Crush! Kill! Destroy! Swag!”

“Emulating the consumption of milkshakes is a high tier friendship activity!”  Sweetie Bot agreed.

All eyes turned to Sweetie and Button.

Button inclined his head slowly. "If you got the highest high score, we can't really compete with that. Good job."

Sweetie Belle clapped her hooves gently. "You won."

Silverbot beamed, looking ever so pleased at the admission of her victory. "Does that not make me the superior robot?"

"Your battery is superior." Sweetie pointed at Silver's middle. "May I know the model and make? I would like to upgrade. With a more powerful battery, we can have greater periods of friendship activities."

"That does sound fun." Silverbot considered that, adjusting her glasses as she did so. "But I can't stop being superior to you. That is my current command. I must be superior, and prove it."

Sweetie Belle shrugged casually, accepting of the fact in the face of such a statement. "Fair enough. I like Sweetie Bot just the way she is. She manages to even dream in a cute way."

Sweetie Bot blushed gently. "You watch my dormancy cycle?"

“No!  I mean, maybe once!  You just curl up, and then your eye’s display fractal patterns.  It’s relaxing!  I didn’t program it!” Sweetie shot an accusing glance at Button.

The small brown colt was quick to respond, blushing fiercely. “I programmed the sequence to be cute and relaxing to watch while I went to sleep.  That is not as weird as it sounds!”

Cream called from the kitchen, just finishing a spoon of her treat, "A pity you don't get to sleep with her around."

Sweetie Bot inclined her head left, then right. "That function is not performing its desired goal." She turned to Silverbot. "Do you have the same dormancy functions?"

"How would I know?" Silverbot tapped at the side of her head, just beside her eyes. "I can't watch myself sleep. I've tried. It doesn't work."

"Sensible." Sweetie Bot frowned a moment, then perked up. "Enter dormancy mode! We can all verify if you share the same programming or not."

"Okay!" Silverbot said without hesitation and curled up into a tight ball, her tail coiling around herself and her mane settling as the light dimmed from her eyes.

“Oh my Celestia!  That is so cute!” Both Sweetie and Rumble proclaimed at once.  Sweetie spoke up first. “I proclaim a tie!  Milkshakes?”

“I am also both hungry and thirsty for an ice cream based beverage.” Rumble grinned.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” The organic Sweetie admonished.

Button pointed. "Did you guys forget what she's sleeping for?" He leaned in, brushing some of her faux hair aside. "Yup, look'em go." There, exposed for all to see, were Silverbot's eyes swirling with bits of data and entrancing patterns in about equal abundance. "Just to be polite." He dug Silverbot's cord free and plugged it in. "No reason to sleep without getting a charge."

Sweetie bapped at Rumble with her hooves. "No imitating Sweetie Bot like that. It's cute when she does it, not you."

"Whaaaaaat?!?!" Rumble looked utterly scandalized to be scolded in such a fashion by Sweetie Belle herself. "I was just joking around. You're not upset, right?"

Sweetie Bot considered a moment. "Upset, 5%. Emotional level: Even." She nodded at her clean bill of health. "Let us procure dairy-based treats."

“I really need to apologize to Silver Spoon.” Sweetie Bell opined as they walked to sugar cube corner.  “I wasn’t trying to steal her high score.  I don’t even play Pac Mare!  I just thought it would be neat that me and Sweetie Bot kinda have the same initials.”

“It was a bone headed move. That’s for sure.”  Rumble laughed, “The why I made sure Silverbot didn’t use the same initials as Silver Spoon.  Taking credit for somebody else’s high score is a big deal!  And bots play on a whole different level.  Especially in a procedural game like Pac Mare.”

Button blinked. "Pac Mare isn't procedural, dummy."

"Your face is a dummy!" The two were soon lost to flailing limbs in a game of wrestling with no winners, only losers.

Cream casually pushed the colts apart. "No wrestling for dominance in my house, kindly. Now, Rumble, you are a guest. Guests don't tackle their host. That's rude."

"Sorry." He scuffed a hoof along the carpet shamefully.

"Button, you are a host. Hosts don't call their guests dummies." She winked. "Even if Pac Mare definitely isn't a procedural game."

“Onward!  To Milkshakes!” Silverbot declared in cheerful autotune before walking into the door frame.  “My optical sensors are impaired!”

-=-=-=-

“That’s not MY initials!” Silver Spoon raged as she glared at the Pac Mare leaderboard.

“Uhh…” Diamond desperately tried to placate her friend, while maintaining some integrity. “Well it also wasn’t your high score… technically it was the robot you stole the designs for.”

“That’s not the point!  That little traitor took the highest possible score!  I bet she’s hanging out with Sweetie Belle and laughing at me right now drinking milkshakes!”

-=-=-=-

“Wait, you're actually both designed to drink milkshakes?”  Sweetie Belle inquired.  “Like specifically milk shakes?  That’s oddly specific.”

“Possible point of rivalry detected.” Sweetie Bot focused on the glass intently.  “Who can drink their milkshake faster?”

Silverbot 2000 glared at her own frozen dairy beverage with determination.  “Crush! Kill! Destroy! Swag!”

Everypony there, filly and adult, gaped as the two chugged down their drinks with equal zeal. It appeared that they weren't programmed to feel brain freeze.

If only that were true.  As both fillies began to convulse, Rumble raised an eyebrow.

“Processing unit over cooling!”  Sweetie bot declared in panic.



“Electronic forces slowing down my brain!  Help me!” Silverbot pleaded.

“Huh, robots do get brain freeze.” Rumble replied between sips of his milkshake. “Who knew?”