//------------------------------// // Back in Business // Story: Your Best Shot // by PotatoJoe //------------------------------// “ Aaaaaaaand we’re back!” cheered Pinkie Pie, trotting through the gates of Canterlot. “ Whew, that was a crazy trip! We had to go free those farmers, guest star in a Slayers crossover OVA, and re-invent rap-rock” “ Not...all of that actually happened.” said Applejack, giving a weak smile and a chuckle to the guardspony at the gate, who looked a little surprised. And he had reason to be - it wasn’t every day the Elements of Harmony walked through the front gates with a barrel, a collection of humorously shaped bludgeoning implements, and a Clair Bible. “ Heh hee, haa.” sighed Applejack, noticing that, as usual, everyone in town had noticed the famous Whack-A-Discord carnival had arrived. “ We’re closed! We are no longer operating!” shouted Rarity, shooing the crowd away. “ Back! Away! Shoo!” “ Man, that trip was like, sooo so so long.” groaned Rainbow Dash. She was riding on the cart next to Discords barrel. “ It felt like months.” “ It was six days, darlin’.” muttered Applejack, pulling said cart. However, it was obvious that the orange mare agreed. Somehow, the time spent getting back had just drug on. And on. And on. That might have had something to do with Trixie following them for four days. Or the whole thing with the squid - whoo, nobody came out of that looking pretty. “ Hey! Look! Nothings gone crazy!” declared Pinkie Pie, bouncing above the crowd to look at the castle. “ No balloons! No mishaps! And no fun!” She landed with a pout. “ Which means, Twilights probably got her chaos powers under control now.” she griped, kicking the dirt around grumpily. “ We missed it! All the mishaps! All the goofyness! All the hijinks!” “ Lookoutlookoutlookout!” squeaked a familiar voice. Suddenly, Spike came into view, fleeing down the road from the castle. On cue, all the looky-loos fled indoors. And, a few moments later, a wave of radish-headed servants stampeded from around a corner following after him. “ Huh.” said Pinkie Pie, blinking as her friends began to panic, fleeing with the Discord barrel. “ Okay, I guess thats, you know, wacky.” “ Pinkie, move! We gotta get away from the falafel's!” shouted Spike, leaping onto her back. At that moment, it became obvious that the radish-ponies were fleeing from an endlessly replicating river of falafel, surging from the windows of the castle kitchens. “ All right, all right, now we got a wacky cast and a fun setting, but it’s still missing that something something.” critiqued Pinkie Pie, trotting three steps to the side and avoiding being crushed. Spike sputtered, trying to spur her to flee for safety. “ But whats the joke? Is it just randomness for the sake of randomness? Is Twilight trying to be wacky-” “ Wait, Twilight?” Spike paused, looking at Pinkie in confusion. “ Oh, no, this isn’t her fault. Well, other than asking me to make her lunch. She’s currently trying to explain to the gryphon ambassador that his beak can be re-attached.” “ Oh.” said Pinkie, blinking. “ Wait, so this isn’t-” “ No.” “ And we aren’t?” “ Uh-uh.” “ But we could easily be-” “ Nope.” “ But-” “ Yeah, just, um, no.” Pinkie Pie pouted. Then, with a snort, a giggle, and a hop-skip, she launched herself into the self-perpetuating ocean of bean curd. It was good to be back. “ And she was a one-shot character, you dweebs!” shouted Twilight, fuming as the gryphons stormed off. “ What dost thou mean by that?” asked Luna, looking to the dracony in confusion. “ I don’t know. It seemed like something Pinkie would say.” sighed Twilight. “ Oh, well, guess we’re done with the gryphons.” “ We are. Now, we believe today we were going to attempt to create a pit pit, correct?” inquired the Princess, a hint of childish glee entering her tone. “ Luna, I’m sorry, but I have reports to file.” sighed Twilight, trying to let the Princess down easy. She turned, as did the princess, and began to trot out of the great hall. She spotted a maid dusting a statue and clacked a hoof - the statue came alive, becoming a strong, romantic stallion with chistled muscles that would wisk her off to a life of adventure and intrigue which revolved around skeeball. “ Oh, but must thou?” whined Luna, sounding rather childish. “ You keep yourself too busy for a true master of chaos.” “ Look, I know I have duties with the whole ‘so random!’ thing, but I really need to - hold on.” Now out of earshot of the maid and statuallion, she noticed that there was an elementary school class touring the hall of portraits. Click of a hoof and then the portraits behind the teacher began to make faces, stopping when ever she looked at them. “ But anyways, I know I have duties, but I really need to help the Princess go over Equestria’s finances-” “ Finances.” said Luna drolly. “ What with the tax refund to the Apple family, the soaring costs of window replacement, the Grand Galloping Gala organizers expense accounts....the royal treasury is in a bit of trouble.” “ Aye.” sighed Luna, hanging her head a little. “ And even if I try to smooth it out, we’re still in the red.” continued Twilight, bemoaning the situation. “ Canterlot is just so expensive to maintain, it’s really just one huge...” With a smirk she clacked a hoof on the tile. A moment later Luna gave out a whoop as a trap door opened beneath her, dropping her into a pile of soft bonds and hard cash. “ Money pit!” giggled Twilight, leaping in after Luna, who was sputtering on a mouthful of gold nickles. A moment later she was showered by a splash of stock certificates as Twilight made a serious depression with her cannonball. “ Goodness, Twilight, you surprised me!” laughed Luna, watching as Twilight did the backstroke. “ But, a marvelous show!” “ And it solves our money problem! Now, Equestria is rich again!” giggled Twilight, leaping out and shaking off a downturn in the market. “ Just, don’t tell anyone where we got all this money - just say we ‘haponzied’ upon it!” She paused, waiting for Luna to laugh. She waited. “ Ah, was that, perhaps, a pun?” asked Luna with a forced chuckle. “ Yeah, I guess that was lame.” sighed Twilight. “ But hey, I’m getting better. Dang, it’s better to end a chapter on a high note. Bah, well, I guess we’re ending chapter nine with a radical restructuring of the accounts of Canterlot, so I guess the right people will get it.” “...what?” asked Luna, again, now completely lost. Thankfully, a strong market was keeping her (and the monarchy) afloat. “ Ah, well, this is the ninth chapter of the story. Chapter Nine of the Equestrian Bankruptcy Code allows for municipalities, such as the city of Canterlot, to restructure their debts. Basically, the money I just magicked up will allow us to avoid having to rewrite any collective bargaining agreements, other than the Apple families tax refund, while staying financially solvent.” “...” “ Should I summon some crickets to chirp awkwardly?” “ Yes, that seemed a sound decision.” POOF. True to form, the small insects that had appeared chirped. Awkwardly.