//------------------------------// // Sixth Grade Stuff // Story: The Royal Fillies REDUX // by blazikenking //------------------------------// It was the first day of sixth grade, and I was no longer a student at Pristine Pearl. I stood in the middle of the wide street and looked at the building where I’d made my friends and let out a sad sigh. For so long, it was where I spent most of my time, especially after getting dragged into my circle of friends. The idea of going on without them made me feel sad. “So long, Pristine Pearl.” I solemnly turned around and faced my next school, Dazzling Diamond, which was right across the street. Well, I would have faced it, but there were seven ponies standing in front of me. “Hey, everypony!” “Hey, Inova!” All my friends cheered. “Are you ready for more H&H?” Brooke dramatically asked. “H&H is good, but the real question is if everypony’s ready for Quick Quip,” I said. Hearthstone glanced at the grinning green goofball of the group. “We’re used to him.” “I don’t think she meant us,” Soapy stated. “Right, Inova?” “Right,” I confirmed. “He will be a menace this school has rarely known! And we’ll be there too!” As we walked up the steps to our new school, I found myself wishing we all had matching sunglasses to help make our entrance more dramatic. Some appropriate music and lighting would have helped as well. On our second Tuesday in Dazzling Diamond, we met up after our last class in a room Brooke had chosen for our H&H games. “Welcome, everypony,” she ominously greeted. “Your doom awaits.” “Again?” Sunflower tiredly asked. “I had doom last week. Don’t you have anything different?” “It was just an entrance exam,” I said. “It won’t affect your grade.” “Says the only one that aced it.” I shrugged. “What can I say? I’m just good at math.” I took my usual seat by Brooke, and before long, we were gathered around. Brooke began narrating. “We’ll pick up where we-” “Sorry I’m late,” dad said as he joined us. “I started going to Pristine Pearl before remembering to come here. Who decided to put these schools across from each other anyways?” Quick Quip began whistling and looking to the side, like he was trying to play innocent. “Future time travel issues aside, let’s pick up where we left off a few months ago.” Brooke opened her book and we began our first game at Dazzling Diamond. The band of nine cleared out some demonic foot soldiers before turning to their target: the orange alicorn stallion that was actually the king of the demons, Flame Sparkle. “You’re pretty good, I’ll give you that,” the demon that didn’t really look like a demon said. “But discretion is the better part of valor, and with that, I once again leave!” He casually teleported away and released an explosion that knocked everyone down. Solaria was the first one back to her feet. “Everyone good?” Her question was met with a chorus of pained groans. “I guess not.” She planted her staff in the ground and produced a star spinner. Queen Nova, in her personal quest to keep the goodwill of her team after a terrible incident she’d led them into, had offered to upgrade everyone’s gear. Solaria put the star in the middle of the sun on the end of her staff and gave it a good spin. “Healing technique!” The star called out as Solaria began making the rounds to heal everyone, starting with Aurora. “Thank you,” Aurora gratefully said as she got up and to her feet. She started playing her guitar and singing a soothing song to help with the healing. The pained groans turned into ones of exhaustion. Yet again, Flame Sparkle had escaped the party’s wrath. Rita sat up and crossed something out on a map. “That’s three known locations of his. We have one more place to check, and he won’t get away this time.” “You’re sure?” Joakim asked. “It’s a pattern of his, according to what’s known about him. Once we’re out of here, we’ll mount up, resupply, and go get him.” Sunflower pulled me aside one day after our math class ended. “Hey Inova, can I ask you something?” “Sure,” I said. “Do you feel. . . Awkward without a cutie mark here? I do.” I raised an eyebrow. “Why would I feel that way?” “Nearly everypony else here does, and I don’t. Don’t you?” “Not really, no.” “But how?” I gave it some serious thought. “Well. . . I guess I just don’t care about having blank flanks like a lot of ponies do.” “Really? That’s it?” “Yeah. I’ll get my mark when I get it, and that’s how it is. Anything else?” A bit of hysteria entered her voice. “My little sister got her cutie mark before me! How does that work?” I moved on instinct and pulled her into a hug. “I still can’t use my wings right, you know. Brooke and Hearthstone outclass me in magic. You’re better than me with your hooves. It’s just how it is.” Sunflower returned the hug and seemed to have calmed down a bit. “That’s not very helpful, you know.” “That's what I’ve got.” Queen Nova held her signature weapon’s barrel up between the nearly defeated demon king’s eyes. “I’ll allow you some last words,” she said. Flame Sparkle, beaten, bruised, battered, and lightly fried, started chuckling. “You may kill me, but I’ll have the last laugh.” With one blast, the demon king was dead, his body catching fire and burning to ash. “At least I’m still alive.” Just as the party turned to leave, an ominous red orb of light came up out of the ashes, flew straight at Queen Nova, knocked her over, and went into her body. Solaria noticed and began checking her over. “She’s cursed now.” “With what?” Joakim asked. We looked at the 15 on the die. Brooke looked like she wanted to hide somewhere far away from the Empire. “Uhm. . . Prince Armor? Please don’t get mad at me for this?” “You made a list of curses and let the die decide, so go ahead and tell us what it is,” dad calmly said. “It can’t be that bad, right?” The d20 was rolled again. “18 on severity. Inova, I’m sorry about this.” A harem of tantalizingly dressed women appeared out of nowhere, pushed past everyone, and began fawning over Queen Nova, trying to get her to wake up. “Woah woah woah!” Joakim easily pulled two of the women off of Queen Nova. “Fear not!” Rex activated his Gorilla data artifact, opened it, and slid it into the belt Queen Nova had made for him. With the strength boost, he was able to push some of the women aside. Ferria chose to skip out on being gentle and swung her hammer, dealing critical damage and causing two of the women to vanish in a puff of magic. The respite would be very brief, as two new women appeared moments later and ran straight to Queen Nova. “How bad is 18 severity?” I warily asked. “You can’t get rid of them and they will follow you everywhere. You’re stuck with a magical harem surrounding you at all times.” “Everywhere everywhere?” “Everywhere everywhere. Unless you’d like to try to reduce the severity with a determination check.” I rolled the d20. “What does a 12 get me?” Queen Nova shot to her feet, and even with most of her face hidden, it was clear that she was not happy. “Get in line!” She nearly yelled at the harem, and they obeyed the force of her words. “You can follow me around, but when I want some privacy, you will let me have it. Am I clear?” “Yes, my queen,” the harem, numbering ten strong, said in unison. “But only for fifteen minutes,” one of the middle ones teased. The cursed woman let out a rough sigh of resignation. “You know what, that’s good enough. I’ll take that.” Rita looked over the new group. “So, how will you manage this?” “I don’t know. I’ll figure something out. Let’s go.” The adventurers and the queen’s harem had to fight Flame Sparkle’s remaining devoted followers on the way out, during which, some things were learned about the harem curse. Their devotion to her was practically absolute, to the point where they would use their bodies to shield her. The death of one did not affect the morale of the others, even when it was by Queen Nova’s own hand. It did not take long for a new one to appear when one died, and the new one was just as devoted as the one that she was replacing. They also had a tendency to get in the way of the other adventurers in battle, causing more chaos on the battlefield. The only one who wasn’t negatively affected was Jester, as he was able to roll with one spawning right under him and catching a ride on her shoulders. Finally, the team made it back to the tavern and the man who had given them their mission. “The demon king is dead? I will spread the news and the people shall rejoice. But. . . Um. . . What happened?” “I can’t get rid of them.” Queen Nova demonstrated by casually shooting one of her harem in the head, causing her to disappear and get replaced, with none of the others caring or worried. “It was a parting curse. I need to find some way to get rid of it.” “There are many men who would call that a gift, but I digress. For your success, I will see that all of you are paid and rank up appropriately.” Wallace pushed through the harem and pat the queen’s shoulder. “That gold star rank is yours now.” “Thanks,” Queen Nova dryly said. “Let’s get some dinner,” Solaria suggested. “Maybe we should eat outside.” “I don’t like this,” Queen Nova stated. “I did my best,” Wallace said as he reclaimed his shields. He’d tried using them to give Queen Nova some space while she ate, but the harem had pushed past them with relative ease. The shields just weren’t made to handle forces like the harem, who simply went around the barriers. “Would you like some rice, my queen?” One of the harem offered. “Or maybe some chicken, my queen?” Another offered from the opposite side. Quick Quip got in on the act. “One comes from over her shoulder. ‘Maybe you’d like some dessert now, my queen?’” Diamond was next. “And from the other shoulder, ‘you look thirsty, my queen. Water?” “Stop it,” I weakly protested. “No no no, she offers a cup of tea,” Sunflower said. Soprano added to it. “No, that’s another one, from above, with a whole tea set. Enough for everyone, my queen.” “Is there room for more?” Girder asked. Brooke gave it some thought. “Queen Nova and her harem have a big table to themselves, and the harem may or may not decide to sit on the table as well, to admire and pamper their queen.” “Then let’s have one sitting on the table in front of Queen Nova with her meal on her lap.” “And two of them are serving as a cushion for her,” Hearthstone added. I sighed in defeat. “And the last two?” “I have nothing,” dad said, though I suspected that wasn’t true. “They’re laying on the table and praising you,” Brooke said. “They’re praising you for your good looks, your combat abilities, your intelligence, and your cunning.” Queen Nova, surrounded by her harem and praise, was doing her best to remain civil. She was incredibly annoyed, and as much as she wanted to start blasting, it would not only look bad, but it wouldn’t work for long before they came back. “I don’t need your help just to eat,” she growled out. “Oh, but you look so tired,” one of the two laying on the table said. The concern and worry in her voice was thick enough to cut with a knife. “Let us take care of you.” Queen Nova eventually relented. She did not enjoy her meal. She may have been pampered and taken care of quite well in the Novarian Imperium, but not to the extent that the harem was taking it. I was laying by myself in front of the lit fireplace in Aunt Celestia’s room. She was busy giving Skyla some princess lessons with the Canterlot nobles, and it was clear that my sister had much more patience for them than I did. “Here is our bill to provide crown funds to a multitude of orphanages across Equestria,” Sweet Heart said as she levitated the bill and set it down in front of me. “Will you approve it, Princess Inova?” I looked at the side of the bill before picking up and reading the first page of the two inch thick piece of legislation. The second page was on the back of the first, and a quick inspection revealed that all but the last page were double sided. “Just give me some time to read it first.” It wasn’t even a full minute before she started pressuring me. “Come on, aren’t you worried about the orphans?” I glanced up at her. “I am going to read this before signing off on it, and you will wait for me.” “But the orphans can’t wait!” I went back to reading the bill. At fifteen pages in, after a word salad of appeasement to the bill’s cause, I finally saw the first actual monetary numbers. It wasn’t long after that when the nobles started talking again. “Princess, we don’t really have the time to wait on this.” “You had the time to write this monster, you have the time to let me read it.” “But the orphans-” “Interrupt my reading one more time, and I will toss this out.” I kept reading, and I started seeing things that were somehow only mildly surprising, such as funds going to places that weren’t orphanages, rules and regulations that had nothing to do with orphanages, and naval things that were, quite literally, nowhere near any orphanages. Sweet Heart interrupted me. “Princess Inova?” I grabbed the two inch thick pile with both forehooves and tossed it up with all my might and frustration, letting the pages rain down from above. “Not only did you interrupt me, but you presented a bill with a misleading cause! I don’t know what these other organizations are, but I have a feeling some of them are linked to you somehow. The new regulations on shop layouts are ridiculous! And a shipyard in the Grand Horseshoe Bay? What does ANY of that have to do with orphanages?” “But. . . The orphans-” “If you care so much about the orphans, then you should go pony up your own bits and help them yourself. I am not going to approve of that mess with a nice title just to look good.” “Don’t you care?” “I can be concerned about orphans without a money laundering scheme to build yachts at one of the nicest shorelines in Equestria.” Aunt Celestia stepped in. “Inova, that is a ridiculous conclusion to leap to.” “She’s actually correct, Princess Celestia,” Fancy Pants, the one good noble present, said. He produced a folder and levitated it over to her. Aunt Celestia looked over the contents and sighed. “Fancy, please take Inova on a tour of your estate or something similar. I have a lecture to give. Again.” “Of course.” As the fire was dying down and the winter chill started seeping in, the door opened. “Hello, Inova,” Aunt Celestia said. She had a bunch of firewood in her telekinesis. “Skyla was taking her time with the nobles.” “Did they try some other scheme again?” I asked. “Yes, and she took the slow route with them.” She lay down and draped a wing over me as she stacked the firewood and filled the fireplace. It wasn’t long before the fire was alive and giving out heat again. “She asked about every little detail that seemed off to her. She made them try to link medical research, airship dockyards, and various regulations that were in the bill. Some of them cracked under what she called a slow cooker technique. Could you try that?” “I hate being lied to.” I nestled against Aunt Celestia’s side. “And they didn’t seem to learn anything either.” “They rarely do. How are your friends and your game?” “Everypony’s good. I’ve been trying to figure out how Queen Nova can use her magical harem to her advantage.” “Ah, that. Luna told me a bit about it. I’ve got some ideas.” I perked up at that. “Really?” She gave me a smug sideways look. “But I’d rather see what you come up with. You’re smart, you’re creative, I’m sure you can come up with something.” The nine adventurers and Queen Nova’s harem were hunkered down in a trench behind the outer perimeter of the rear of the castle Queen Nova had once called home. The harem had proven useful at taking incoming fire for the team and helping dig. “Please tell me you have some way past your automated defenses,” Rita asked. “There’s gotta be some weakness.” “The defenses shoot at any human deemed hostile, and right now, that’s us,” Queen Nova said. “We’re all human, so if we so much as peek over the edge, we’ll come under fire again.” “There aren’t any animals around that I can get help from,” Rex added. “I’m open to ideas.” “I guess we’ll just keep digging,” Joakim said before starting on his task. A hoof waved in front of my face. “Inova, are you there?” Brooke asked. “Everyone’s trying to dig more in the trench. Will Queen Nova help?” I slowly lowered her hoof. “The defenses only attack humans, right?” “Yeah. So?” Queen Nova snapped out of her trance and looked over her harem. “Rita, do you have any of Machina’s explosives?” “I’ve got some of her landmines,” Rita said. “Why?” The Queen turned to two of her harem. “You love me with all your heart, right?” “Yes, my queen!” The two exclaimed. “And you’ll do anything for me, right?” “Anything to help!” “Take one of Machina’s mines and walk it over to the defenses. When you’re there, activate it, and slam the top of it against the machinery. I’d love to see the explosion.” “Yes, my queen!” The two, with lots of enthusiasm, got the mine, set it on the edge of the trench, got out, and started their mission. Solaria noticed something off. “Why aren’t they firing?” “My harem isn’t human,” Queen Nova explained. “The defenses only target humans, therefore, they can run the mission for us.” There was a big explosion and two new harem ladies appeared in the trench. “Go up and see what the defenses look like.” The harem looked over the edge of the trench. “They’re gone.” Ferria chanced a glance over the edge. Where once there was a wall laced with turrets now stood a sparking pile of smoldering rubble. “That’s a lot of damage.” “I was not expecting that kind of move,” Brooke said. “And here I thought you would keep using the harem as shields and labor.” “Oh, I will do that,” I assured. “But now. . . I’m starting to get some ideas.” “Did we just skip an underground section?” Diamond asked. “It sounded like you had plans for an underground section.” “I did, but Inova just bypassed it,” Brooke explained. “Let’s see how far that creativity can go.” Queen Nova sent her harem ahead after passing the broken automated defenses. “Oh boys~,” the harem called out to a quartet of guards that had been sent to investigate. The guards decided that the harem warranted a closer inspection and approached. As they, ah, ‘interrogated’ the ladies, they failed to notice that they were being pickpocketed and relieved of their communication gear and lunch money. The harem, clearly in control of the situation, started leading the guards away and into a trap. The ambush went flawlessly, and the guards, even if they could call for help, were knocked out before they could. “Go, go.” At Rita’s urging, the nine adventurers moved forward through the open area. Ahead of the group was a wall. Ferria switched from her hammer to her spear, with her armor changing form appropriately. Wallace tossed his shields forward. Joakim took his place beside Ferria on point, along with Rex. Solaria and Rita cast a general buff on the team. Aurora sat on Jester’s shoulders and played a fast tune on her guitar. Queen Nova stayed in the back to make sure the harem did not get in front of anyone else. With some extra spells, a spinning spiral stream formed over the team, the point focused on the tip of the spear, and the wall soon had a big hole in it. The team’s momentum carried them through more walls, carving a path of destruction that ended in an armory. “Take what you want,” Queen Nova said as she took the harem around, picking out armor and armaments for them. “And we’ll end it there for today.” Brooke’s decree got the usual groans from us. “You skipped a whole lot, I have a fight to plan, and I need to get home so I can watch my little brother.” “I understand,” dad said. “I had to do the same when Twilight was little.” “Really?” “I’ll save the stories for another time since you need to get going.” Skyla and I had nothing to do one day, so we were laying on the couch looking at the ceiling. “So, is there anything you want to do in seventh grade?” She asked. “Artificing looks fun,” I said. “I want to build cool stuff. I just need to get a good enough grade in magic so I can get in. You?” “Alchemy for me. It’s the closest thing to a cooking class that mom and dad will let me take.” “I wish I could take a cooking class. My levitation still sucks. If I could just manage that, I’d be happy.” She changed the topic. “Aunt Celery told me you got mad at the nobles during our last trip to Canterlot.” “I hate being lied to. Why is it so difficult for those Canterlot nobles to just be honest?” “I dunno. What do they even do when they’re not doing politics?” “I dunno.”