"Cap'n?"
I jolted to. I smelled strong drink, foliage, gold, and... the sea. I stretched my arms and looked around. I was on my throne, a custom chair for my human frame. The chair sat on a porch of my estate. My pirate estate. I saw the small cove of misfits and outcasts as they woke up from another night of partying. I saw the rays of the morning sun creep over the horizon. I smiled as I remembered where I was. Harmony Den. The Panthalassa Sea. Well away from Equestria, but still in International Waters... well, locals called it "Wild Waters".
My tropical playground. It took quite a bit of doing, but I established myself well here. One day, I was one man among millions. Then, I was alone in a world of ponies, dragons, griffons, and who-knows-what-else. Now? I was king of my own island. My own band of thieves. One among many, sure, but none were as good as I was.
I loudly belched, then reached down to search for my jug. Finding none, I settled for leaning my head back and looking at the person who wanted my attention.
My dragon, Polarscale, stood on wooden prosthetic legs and held a clawed hand on the hilt of his long-cutlass sword. Suitably, he wore a simple yellow blouse and do-rag. It seemed like yesterday we stole away aboard a brig, the very one that sat out on the bay. Took no time at all to declare a mutiny, which was something... not even the Captain was prepared for. We sent him back to Equestria on a rowboat, which wasn't that bad since the port was still in sight.
What can I say? I really didn't waste any time.
I cleared my throat, and asked, "What's on our to-do list today, Quartermaster?"
I saw a few morning ruckuses on the beach, mostly to do with who stole who's drink. Griffons and ponies shoved each other around. All in good fun, until a tent or a crate gets knocked over. I allowed them their ruckus at the beach bonfire.
Polarscale pointed at the large, purple, and gold hot-air balloon that I somehow missed, coming from the distance. It was fitted with a small propeller. It could have been only one person in the whole wide world who would visit little ol' me.
I stood up. "I need to freshen up," I scolded myself.
A quick trip to the restroom and some liberal application of water, soap, and shampoo later, I was out the door just in time for the lazily approaching balloon to gently set down on the grass of my estate. I froze because I needed to brush my teeth, of all things. I scraped my teeth with a finger. Too late now, I guess. Twilight Sparkle was here. Oh, and Spike was, too, that cute little dragon. They both hopped out of the balloon to touch down on the grass, and I noticed that both were... changed. Grown up a little, I guess. Their gaze, then mine, was drawn to a tropical bird flying past. A toucan, I think. Twilight and Spike flexed their wings around their packs.
Wait... wings?
They didn't have those, last I remembered. I looked at Polarscale, who was just as surprised as I was. No time for those mysteries right now. I must be... cordial. And piratical. Piratically cordial. I bowed low in a grand, sweeping motion, looking over to make sure Polarscale was doing it, too. That's a good lad.
I cleared my throat, and greeted Twilight, saying, "I welcome you to Harmony Den, Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight and Sparkle, likewise, bowed deeply. Twilight then greeted me back with, "And I... feel welcome, Edo." She giggled, and with a grin, teased, "Or should that be 'Captain Edo'?"
I laughed heartily. "Oh, the day is young, Twilight Sparkle," I said. "I'll make Commodore yet." We shared a laugh, and I awkwardly added, after a pause, "You two... seem to have found yourself some new limbs."
Twilight looked over her wings and nodded. "It's... a long story," she said. Thoughtfully, she looked back at me, and said, "As long a story as how you came to be out here, I'm guessing." She sighed. "Finding you wasn't easy."
I turned, and extended a hand, inviting Twilight Sparkle into my home. I turned to Polarscale, and asked, "Hey, why don't you catch up with Spike? Maybe show him around?"
Respectfully, Polarscale shot me an evil eye, then sighed. "C'mon, little guy," he said, consigned. Spike cheered, then followed the pirate dragon down the stone steps to Harmony Den's little shacks and other buildings.
Having watched the two dragons walk off, Twilight finally walked into one of the open doors of my manor. Once inside, I smiled with some smugness as Twilight looked at my dining hall, some measure of opulence on display. Of course, I won't mention that almost all of the treasures, paintings, sculptures, relics, etcetera, were ill-gotten gains, as was the Manor himself from some fat, wicked, pig-faced loon of an amphibian now sleeping... well, I'm sure anyone knows the rest.
To the left of the dining room was a great stateroom, filled with open treasure chests, crates of goods, bundles of cloth, canvas bags filled with this and that, rigging and netting ropes, and anything else I could reasonably store here. The room was ringed by arched windows. At the end of the room was my desk as well as another custom chair. the far wall was mostly windows, so I could see the bay and the rocks that surrounded it clear as day. Trees dotted the rocks that cradled Harmony Den. A door leads downstairs, to yet more storage spaces below, as well as a handy escape tunnel.
You never know when you'll need an escape tunnel.
To the right of the dining hall were two doors, one that led to a large living room, and the other to my bedroom and bathroom. However, I led Twilight through to the grand stateroom, watching proudly as her eyes lit up from witnessing the plunder of a hundred raids and battles. One tentative hoof step after the other, and Twilight picked up one of the books I pilfered, some ancient-looking thing with a dusty cover and dusty pages. It was suitably ancient, a regular dust bomb, waiting to be triggered upon opening. Twilight sprang the trap, and had to wave a hoof around to try to disperse the particles that were unleashed by the tome.
"I have a few like that," I said, shaking Twilight out of her curious state. "You can have them. I can't really read it anyway."
"I..." Twilight thought aloud before shaking her head, and setting the book back down. "Thank you, Captain," she said, genuinely, but with a pause. "I would need the Canterlot archives to even tell me what this script is... but I... thank you."
Twilight was acting weird, as if seeing all that I had now possessed caused her some discomfort, somehow. I asked, softly, "Twilight? Do you need a drink? Here, let me get you seated."
I picked up a discarded hammock, walked up to the desk, and threw the ropes up to the hook screws installed in the ceiling. My aim was true, and before long, the hammock was ready before the desk. Twilight walked up only to be bodily picked up by me and deposited in the hammock, where she shifted and stretched. I also took the time to lift the bags up and off of Twilight, so she could relax a bit better. Finally, my critical strike—! I moved to present Twilight with something that she would never have expected; a bottle of Apple Cider from her home.
"H-How?" She wondered softly.
I rounded my desk, whose drawers were full of maps and topped with treasures and knickknacks. I sat down on my chair, placing my feet on the desk, like the rogue I am. To answer her question, I stated, "The wealth of nations flows through the Wild Seas, and that includes Equestrian goods, ill-gained and otherwise." I held out a hand. "All I have to do is reach out..." I closed my hand into a fist. "...and take it. I've made something of myself out here," I reported, grabbing an ancient polished gold statuette of a pony with a skull for a head. I inspected it for a second idly while I let Twilight collect herself.
As she drank some of the... unfortunately warm cider, I did the same. I should really steal an icebox or something. As I thought, I saw Twilight cast a spell that shimmered an icy white and blue over the bottle.
...Of course.
I set my own bottle down, gently chuckling to myself, then groaned. Waking up in that chair did no favors for my back. I stretched, then waited.
"Thank you... Captain," Twilight said. She smiled.
I furrowed my brow. She was not just here to see little ol' me, it seems. Circumstances, as ever, was calling.
"Twilight?" I gently cooed. "You're not a part of my crew. You can just call me Edo."
Her eyes met mine. She smiled, then closed her eyes. A glow on her horn and a signature ringing build-up sounded. I knew what this meant, so I closed my eyes and leaned back. A moment later, I heard the telltale sign of a poof of magic, followed by a new weight on my lap, and a new weight upon my desk. I opened my eyes to see that my dear Twilight, as ever, curled up on my lap like a cat. Her bags now rested on the desk as well. Who was I, then, to deny her this ritual? I raised my hands and got to petting.
"Oh, I've missed this," Twilight moaned.
I chuckled. "Yeah, I bet you did," I teased, as my hands worked over her ears, her face, her neck... and her back. I paused but then committed to the routine. Luckily, I had plenty of practice with wings, having ministered to Twilight's friends in the same manner when I still lived in Equestria.
Still, Twilight's wings were... new to me. I rubbed the spot between the wings, between the wing roots, which worked like a charm. Twilight shivered, and I rand a hand under a wing, feeling it twitch to the touch. This limb, which should have been fragile, was paradoxically robust, like all the other wings I've seen on pegasi.
They resembled bird wings to an uncanny degree, with primary and secondary feathers. I ran a hand under the limb, scratching softly as I went. Even the hand and fingers of the wing were like a bird's. Remarkable. However, massaging a pegasus's wing was not just holding the feathered limb and the hand thereof.
I placed my hands at Twilight's sides, and sure enough, I found the new muscles that granted Twilight flight. Whatever granted her these wings made sure to include the whole package, it seemed. No magical, temporary wings here. This was the real deal, something that would last.
I set my feet down off my desk, and began my interrogation. "Those weren't there before, my little pony. How'd that happen?"
Twilight, who was becoming drowsy under my ministrations, lifted her head to meet my gaze. She recalled, "Well, one day, Princess Celestia came to me with a magical problem. An incomplete spell. One of Starswirl the Bearded's. She gave me the notes that she had."
Twilight shifted on my lap, rotating to show me her belly. I obliged, fingers gently scratching and rubbing. Twilight sighed and continued. "As I worked to complete the spell, I noticed something... strange. The spellwork... it had been... modified. Changed. I recognized Celestia's own writing, her own way of casting spells. The spell had been difficult before, demanding much... but now? It seemed utterly impossible, much too complicated even for me, the Element of Magic, and the personal student of Princess Celestia. I wondered however I could handle this... but I then noticed that there was a third series of notes, written by... someone else."
I blinked. "Someone... else?" I asked, wary of the tone Twilight had taken. She was always eager to push the bounds of magic, to speak of her mentor and role model with reverence. As she mentioned a new author, her voice had... faltered. She was unsure, even... afraid. I paused my pampering and drew Twilight into a big hug. She eagerly wrapped her own hooves around my neck. I heard her breathe, the quiet words carried the close distance from her mouth to my ear.
"Thank you. So much has changed... I just don't know who else I can turn to."
....Me? Not her friends? Not her mentor? Not even her dragon baby brother? This is serious. She let go of me and got back to reclining in my lap. I settled for setting my hand down on her, feeling my hand rise and fall with her breathing.
"The new notes were... strange, too. It would say things like 'psychic energy' instead of magic, and a thousand other... jargon-y words I didn't immediately understand. But... they were a huge help in making the spell more feasible, more... possible. I tested some of the advice the notes had, and they were... good. Really good."
She shivered.
"I invited all the Elements when the spell was ready. Their presence helped, too. The Princess... asked for them specifically to help with the spell, so they did. But..."
"But...?" I prodded.
"...but that spell changed... everything," explained Twilight at last.
"Is that how you got your wings, Twilight? A fancy spell?" I asked, the pieces having already slid into place in my mind.
Twilight raised her head and then looked at the bags she placed on my desk. Her horn lit up, and she withdrew a roll of newspaper from her bag, offering it to me on ethereal winds. I reached forward and took it, unraveling it in my hands. The special edition color image that sprawled across the front caused my mouth to drop, my eyes to widen, and my eyebrows to raise.
There, in front of the Canterlot Royal Castle, stood Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity. They all wore majestic gowns and crowns, to go with their.... wings and horns. What was happening? The big text caught my eye next "ROYAL CORONATION"
... A.... sextuple of new pony Princesses? My head swam, and my vision threatened to spin. I breathed, even as I noticed a few more figures in the picture. There were the usual suspects, Princesses Cadence, Luna, and Celestia, all looking appropriately royal for the occasion. Then I saw the man.
I twitched to see another human, strange as he was. He was a good head taller than even Celestia. His straight, black hair draped around his shoulders. He had a chiseled, tan jaw. His gold-white uniform was enough to cover the man's wide, undoubtedly herculean frame. He bore a proud smile, suggesting to my mind that he was an... architect of this event, somehow.
The strange notes. "Psychic energy". Tall and large. I knew who this man appeared to be... but that was impossible. It just could not be. I looked to the caption on the image, surely... there.
"...and the newest member of Celestia's court, a human man known only as 'Companion', who has been seen very often with the Solar Princess..."
No. He was using a pseudonym. I knew what this... thing, this creature was. My throat seized. My breath and heart quickened.
"I know who that is," I hoarsely hissed with heightening horror.
Twilight's ears flicked, her eyes glinting with curiosity even as she recoiled from my state of distress.
"Y-You do?" She asked, sounding uncertain if she actually wanted the answer.
"He's... he can't be. If he was..." I voiced my inner turmoil. I took a deep breath. I noticed that the golden pony idol had fallen onto the floor. I ignored it. Another... revelation came into my mind.
"So there's another human on this world, now. That makes two," I remarked, thinking about the implication.
"...No," Twilight... Princess Twilight corrected.
"No?" I asked, already imagining a whole crowd of humans like me.
"Not... in Equestria," explained Twilight. "We're tracking... more, all around the world. All got busy like you did."
Twilight floated dossiers out of the bag, letting me thumb through them. I saw testimonies, pictures.... pictures of humans, just like me. They were here, too. Having their own adventures. Forging their own legends. Becoming known far and wide.
Just like me. I laughed. I beamed. I hugged my little Princess tight. But... there was more to it... wasn't there?
"Were they...?" I struggled to find the words. "Stranded like me?"
She nodded.
"Like the Em—" I strangled the thought before it left my lips with a hard swallow. "Like Companion?"
Another nod. Twilight took a deep breath.
"And now we know why," she revealed, sounding none-too-happy about it.
A pit grew in my gut. A bad answer to a mystery might be worse than no answer at all.
"Discord admitted to it."
What? The Spirit of... Chaos...?!
"Oh, sh—" I bit my lip and bit back the curse. Twilight looked at me. "Continue," I said, fighting off hypotheses in my mind like trying to swat at wasps with my hands.
Twilight tried to find something interesting in the ceiling, and said, shivering, "He... he said...." I got to petting Twilight again. I let her collect her thoughts. Whatever the... reformed draconequus of disharmony had said, it clearly unsettled Twilight, enough that she needed to confide in me, a world and an ocean away.
"He said that a war was coming. A terrible, terrible war."
I held Twilight closer, more for myself than for her sake this time. I... war? I fought with other pirates, but it was not quite a war. Not like how... I know war could actually be. It may just be my imagination, but I could hear the slow marching clap of boots. Now it was me struggling to stay calm.
"What..." I debated with myself, before deciding to finally ask, "What... kind of war?"
Shivering in my arms, the tyro Princess recalled, with barely a voice above a whimper, "His... exact... words. 'The galaxy will burn.' He's... he admitted it. He's why you, Companion, and all the other humans are here. To prepare." She took a breath. "To prepare... us."
I scratched Twilight's neck. She nuzzled my face as if I was the last warm thing on this island. The trees swayed gently in the breeze, as they always had. The sun shone off the pale rocks. I took a deep breath.
"I'm... here for you... Princess Twilight," I promised. "I took off on you for a bit, but I'm here for you now."
"Thank you," Twilight breathed, as she leaned into me. "Thank you."
I took a few moments to think. I had always... suspected a purpose behind my being here. Why I... woke up in Equestria one day. Why I made friends with ponies. Why I went adventuring. Why I found and saved Polarscale. Why I woke up one morning with an impossibly strong urge to... to go off and be a pirate. One I... ultimately could not resist. Was this my dream, or something Discord did to me? I shivered and tried not to think about that, so I took account of myself.
I'm now self-employed, reasonably wealthy, and with property and even a ship to my name. That's leagues better than being an honored friend of the heroes of Equestria. Now that everything's about to change... I might as well.
"Twilight?" I asked, and she raised her head, her beautiful eyes looking into mine.
I kissed her.