The hat was still on her head. The giant carnival claw grabbed that angry bear she was trying to calm instead, and it automatically came back when it got something. The mud plan only got me filthy. The air horn Pinkie plan went off without a hitch and still didn't work. Angel fell off her back when Pinkie blasted it behind Fluttershy, but the hat didn't move an inch. Pinkie's Walruls plan almost worked, but I ended up in its mouth somehow. That disaster yesterday was so horrible I shudder to think of it. But this would work. It just had to.
"Oh darling, are you really sure about this?"
"Oh but of course my dear serpent. Come now Steven. Am I not Rarity?"
The well mannered serpent looked down at me. In point of fact he was an eastern river dragon who came from the far off land of Neighpon. Such a romantic country. We had talked about it quite a bit during out weekly get togethers. I then heard somepony coming. I hid in a bush and Steven submerged. It was such a simple plan, how could it fail. Fluttershy walked up to the river. She walked to the bank looking around. It was a minor lie really.
"Hello. Little otters, where are you. Somepony told me that…"
Then Steven lunged. He had demonstrated his precision and speed many times before with his claws, but he only sliced at a thicket of plants that grew up. That evil, evil hat. Nature itself bent to its will. Thwarting my plans, over and over again. And then I was drenched. I hadn't been that close to the river, but apparently the sudden jolt jostled dear Steven. I didn't blame him of course. No, the blame could only be set on the non existent feet of one thing. I jumped out of the bushes.
"Oh, that's it. It. Is. On. I will end you. Do you hear me, I will end you."
Fluttershy let out an adorable "eep" and flew off. How such a horrifyingly patchy thing could manipulate Fluttershy was beyond me, but somehow it did. She seemed to actually be afraid of me. I then turned up to Steven
"Oh I'm dreadfully sorry for wasting your time Steven. I shouldn't be surprised I suppose, that dastardly hat is truly a formidable opponent."
"Are you sure you're alright dear heart?"
"Oh, I must look absolutely dreadful, mustn't I? Sometimes you simply must make sacrifices if you are to achieve your goals. Fluttershy is far too important to me to simply leave things as they are."
"Ah, I see. Well, sorry to run darling, but I suddenly remembered there is an old friend I simply must have a word with right away. Tah for now."
Then with a wave Steven submerged and was gone. He was quite quick in the water and would surely reach his destination swiftly. I sighed and trotted to Blinkie's once again. Then I suddenly broke into a full gallop. Finally she had come up with a truly fool proof solution. That hat's days were numbered.