We hadn't even managed to get Fluttershy to come out of her cottage. Not only that, but somehow we ended up singing the night away in Ponyville's one and only karaoke place. Inky and Pinkie were wonderful together, but the night was in no way constructive. I smiled. I had a good feeling about today though. Today would be different. There would be no feeble attempts today.
"Ooo, ooo. Here she comes. This is going to be so fun. Blinkie's thingies are always so fun. This one time…"
"Quiet Pinkie."
The cannon sat in a cart that was so easy to pull even I could manage. It looked like quite the heavy device, but pulling it was no problem. With the simple press of a button the cart cast four metal spikes in the ground, locking it in place. The device resembled a cannon for the most part, with a pipe leading down to a reservoir full of green goo. It looked positively disgusting, but I'm sure Fluttershy would forgive me when this was all over, and one of my new cleaning spells just might work. The controls were rather complicated, but Pinkie assured me she knew what she was doing.
I then pointed with one hoof as Fluttershy walked blissfully down the path. Pinkie let out a slight giggle, and the machine fired. At just that moment a bird crossed the path of the goo cannon, and fell to the ground, wrapped in a ball of the disgusting material. It looked unhurt, but surprised, and struggled against its bonds.
"Quick Pinkie, fire again."
"Uh, Blinkie said not to. She said…" She paused. "Hmm, no, I don't think there's no point in running if the reactor goes critical is the right warning."
"Just fire again."
"Okay."
With a squak it hit another bird. This time it was an eagle, but the result was much the same. I think I heard an "oh my" on the wind but I couldn't be sure. I pointed a hoof again.
"Come on, birds can't keep getting in the way."
"It sure looks like they can, but okay."
Then the device made some strange sounds. It was a sort of "chunk chunk" or perhaps more a "clank, click clunk." This was followed by the device exploding, or at least part of it. The green goo covered both of us. Pinkie just giggled of course. I was horrified. It was far worse than I could imagine. It had the consistency of honey, but felt more like mud. As I struggled it only seemed to cling to my fur harder.
"Oh yea, now I remember. If you don't let the barrel cleaner fully cycle you might get a clog, and that will totally cause the tank to overpressure and rupture."
Then the goo just slid away from me. I stamped on the far more slippery mess, taking out some of my anger on it. It was surprisingly warm. I then turned back to my real enemy. The hat. It sat on Fluttershy's head, a dark rabid animal of headwear, hiding its true nature. It had done this somehow. It had to.
"You look pretty like that Rarity."
I blinked, turning to Pinkie. "What do you mean by that."
"Awww, it stopped."
I looked at myself and saw nothing especially unusual. My hair was a mess, but that could be fixed, and it looked clean. Hmm, had I cast the cleaning spell without thinking? That seems odd. Then I blinked.
"Oh dear, however could I forget. Twilight wanted to show me one spell today she forgot the book for yesterday."
"Wait, you mean you almost broke a promise?"
"One moment."
I quickly pulled out a piece of paper and looked around for a good surface. Seeing none I sighed.
"Pinkie, follow me to my boutique. I have to write your sister a stern letter, and a request for something more suited to the true task at hand."
"Okie dokie artichokie." Pinkie then laughed. "Hmmm, I wonder if anypony ever chokies on an artichokie."
"Yes." I then sighed. "Come on then."
I then realized something. I turned to see Pinkie change into her foal form, including the horn and wings. She was quite adorable, but now more stuck than ever. Hmm, I guess only some of the goo was affected.
"Give me but a moment to get you free Pinkie. I just need to think."
"Maybe if I get even smaller?"
She did indeed get even smaller, though did not look younger, just miniature. Of course it made things all the worse. I sighed.