Celestia was in a very bad mood. Yesterday's encounter with this mysterious band of draconequus really wasn't something she needed. For starters, her beautiful white coat and her mane were shaved off and she now has paint splotches all over. Her white feathers were now the beard on her face. Her sister wasn't faring any better now that she's dressed like a clown and has a rather inappropriate sign written on her flank. And what's more infuriating is that it won't come off no matter what they did. Even though a simple illusion spell can hide it, it doesn't change the fact they're stuck looking like this. Her mind raced back to the giraffe headed draconequus and his mocking smile and it really made her angry. “When I get my hooves on you…”
Her thoughts were interrupted when a guard came running into the throne room. He stopped and bowed to her. “Princess, I have received good news as well as… bad news.” The guard said with hesitation noticing Celestia's mood. Celestia took a deep breath to calm herself.
“Good news first please.” She said, doing her best to move these bad thoughts out of her mind for now.
“Yes princess.” He saluted. “The good news is the elements of harmony have arrived.”
Celestia smiled. If Twilight and her friends can handle these draconequi, then everything will be better again. Especially if it means her and Luna can finally have their appearance back. “That is indeed good news, now what's the bad news?”
To this the guard gulped and began to sweat. “W-well ummm, the… fridge which contained… t-t-the cakes you…umm… wanted to eat… have… been… e-eaten…” The room went silent. Celestia remained still after hearing the bad news. “Y-your highness…?” The guard asked with fear. Celestia didn't respond. Her pupils were the size of pinpricks, her left eye began to twitch, and steam began to rise off her body. The guard began to slowly back away, afraid that the princess might explode.
“What. Did. You. Say?” Celestia's voice was calm yet there was burning fury slowly rising every word.
The poor guard shuddered like a leaf under Celestia's gaze but he continued. *gulp* “A-as I've s-s-said. Our unit was rescuing a maid and two other guards from shadowy tendrils made by the female draconequus in the dining hall. When finished one of us noticed plates on the table which weren't there before. Then we noticed the door leading to the kitchen was open and well….” He inhaled. “When we checked, the fridge that held your chocolate strawberry cake was nowhere *ahem* to…be found…. So it's likely possible she was the culprit behind it.” The guard covered his head with his forehooves waiting for the explosion.
“I… see….” Celestia slowly said, breathing in and out. “Can you step outside for a moment, I need to… think.” Wasting no time the guard immediately ran out of the throne room in a blur. After a short while an explosion was heard in the throne room, the two guards that were stationed at the doors shuddered from fear.
“I know those draconequi are our enemies, but I feel sorry for the one who ate her cakes.” The guard on the left said while his partner couldn't help but agree with him.
~~~~~
Chaos space
“Alrighty, the first thing you four should learn is how to fight using chaos.” Discord said while pacing back and forth in a sargent uniform. “For starters, your only weapon is your imagination. So just think of a way to beat your enemy in your own unique way. Observe.” A pony guard dummy lunged itself at Discord. He snapped his eagle claw and the dummy inflated like a balloon and floated away.
Another fired a beam of magic but Discord simply caught it in his lion paw and pulled out a baseball bat and knocked it back at the dummy smashing it apart. Discord then snapped his eagle claw and geysers that exploded jelly beans on top of the dummies. The jellybeans then melted, effectively trapping them. Discord turned back to see the stunned faces of the draconequi and smirked. “Now then who wants to go first?” He asked.
Riot immediately snapped out of his stunned state and cleared his throat. *ahem* “Well it's time to get my groove on.” He walked to the dummies, flashed a toothy smile and he turned to the group. “Watch, this'll be over in two-.” He didn't even have time to finish his sentence before a hoof came flying at his face and sent him flying across the field and crashing into a wall that wasn't there before. “Seconds.” He said, before falling to the ground unconscious.
The others turn to see a pony dummy that resembles Celestia hovering off the ground before it landed and took a fighting stance.
“Somehow, I saw that coming.” Trastorno said.
“If this were an anime, he'd fall under the category of a fourth rank villain and be the first to go.” Fukakaina said while putting her tiger paw over her face.
A mouse popped out of Mischief's wool carrying a small trombone and played a tune.
Wha-wha-whaaaaaaa
“My thoughts exactly.” Mischief said nodding in agreement.
At this point the Celestia dummy fired a beam of magic towards the three causing them to jump back from getting hit. They all turned to Discord, who was casually sitting on a folding chair and drinking chocolate milk. “Aren't you at least going to give us a few pointers!?” Trastorno asked with frustration.
Discord simply shrugged. “Just fight how you want. It's more fun that way.” Before anyone could voice out more complaints, more magic blasts were fired at them. More pony dummies kept continuing to advance on the group.
“Por el amor de Dios, ¿por qué yo...?” (For God's sake, why me…?) Trastorno muttered in his language.
“G-guys… they're getting closer. What do we do?” Mischief said while hiding behind Trastorno. “I don't like this anymore. I'd rather go home now.”
Trastorno patted Mischief's head with comfort and reassurance. “Don’t worry, it'll be ok. We can do this.”
“He's right.” Fukakaina spoke up. “We can do this. Remember what Discord said about fighting how we want. And also back at the forest when all did all those things we did, that happened because we thought of it. Which means our only weapon is our imagination.”
Mischief thought about it for a moment. “Our imagination?”
“Watch out!!” Trastorno shouted. Mischief's and Fukakaina's gazes turned upward and saw a dragon dummy flying towards them and fired a fireball at them. The explosion knocked them off their feet and they flew in different directions. After the dust settled, Trastorno, Fukakaina, and Mischief were laying on the ground with scratches on their bodies.
“Oh come on.” Discord complained. “If this is all you guys can do then I might as well find other humans to do the job.”
It was then Fukakaina got up and touched her tiger paw to her throbbing head. Only to feel something was wrong. She couldn't feel her hair. Panicking, she summoned a hard mirror, when she looked at her reflection she immediately turned to stone from shock. Her purple hair was completely burned off. Trastorno and Mischief get up to see more dragon and pony guard dummies approaching them. They began firing a volley of magic beams and fireballs. Trastorno summoned a large shield to block the attacks.
“Since imagination is our weapon, it's time these guys said hello to the Mexican Air force!” Trastorno was about to launch his own attack when he felt a vibration shaking his body. “What the… where's that coming from?” He patted his for the vibration until he felt something in his left leg. He somehow pulled a pocket-like flap which revealed his phone. “When did I have this… on…?” His voice trailed as he looked at his phone. His blood ran cold and sweat was literally flowing off him like a waterfall when he saw who was calling him. His mother.
“Uhhh, Trastorno…?” Mischief said with concern when he notices Trastorno sweating crazily and taking his eyes off the phone. “Is something wrong?” Then all of a sudden, Trastorno grabbed Mischief's wool and opened it wide, catching him off guard.
“SorryMischiefIneedtoborrowthisthankyou.” Trastorno quickly said before he immediately dove into Mischief's wool and disappeared.
“I…uh…you…I…. What just happened…?” Mischief was so stunned that he didn't notice two dummies standing behind him. One of the dummies poked him on the shoulder to get his attention. When turned around it was dummy versions of Celestia and Luna. “Not this again…”
~~~~~
“¡Maldito Cristo! (Fucking christ!) Why is she calling me!? No… better yet HOW is she even calling me!?” Trastorno's mind raced as he tried to understand how his phone can make calls even across dimensions. He sighed. He would have to think about it later, right now he needed to answer his phone. “Hello mama.”
“Aye what's good brother?” A different voice was on the phone.
“Wait? José?”
“Yup.”
“What are you doing using my mom's phone?”
“Oh well, just some bad luck. See what happened was I was on my way to get some new light bulbs for my bathroom cause just yesterday they went out on me so I thought ‘looks like I'll have to go shopping tomorrow’ and so tomorrow came and I went to the car and drove to the store to get new light bulbs. And as I was driving there were cops chasing a guy on a motorcycle and I was like ‘whoa I wonder what he did’ and then…”
“José!”
“Whoop, sorry I prattled on too much. Anyway, the bottom line is that my car broke down. Luckily I was near the neighborhood where your mom lived and I asked her if I could use her phone to call a tow truck cause I left my phone at home. But funny thing, I guess I called the wrong number because you answered it. Soooooooooooo, sorry wrong number.”
“Wait hold on, you can't just call me on my mom's phone and just-.”
*beep beep beep*
“Did he just….” Trastorno was just staring at his phone where the call ended for a few seconds before putting his leopard paw against his face and groaned. “Someone remind me why I'm still friends with this guy.” He put his phone away and breathed a sigh of relief. “Well at least it was nothing serious.” It was then he felt another vibration from his phone again. He picked it up and it revealed a text message.
>Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. It turns out the the mall you were working at had major problems with the plumbing what with someone clogging up the toilets. Can't imagine someone doing that much damage. Anyway, if were you I'd start finding another job soon because that place won't be opening up again anytime soon. Talk to you later. Bye 😉
After the message, Trastorno grabbed his ears and began pulling them furiously until his face ripped apart showing off his skull. “FUCKING WHHHHHHY!!!???” He shouted into the seemingly endless fuzzy red void.
~~~~~
The ground trembled and flames were burning wildly as broken dummies lay on the ground, some struggling to get back up only to be stepped on by a giant zebra hoof. The hoof belonged to Fukakaina who was now a flaming giant with two devil horns on her head and eyes that scream “destroy everything”. The multitude of dragon dummies kept attempting to defeat the rampaging draconequus, only to be blasted out of the sky by her fire breath.
At the same time Mischief was hiding behind the wall that Riot crashed into. And Riot was still unconscious. “Come on Theo don't be a wuss. You chose this life because you wanted to escape your old one, you have the power to do that, so use it.” Mischief was trying to motivate himself. He looked at his mismatched hands and he had a look of determination. Then his wool suddenly opened up and Trastorno came out of it. “Umm, were you finished in there?” Mischief asked.
“I really don't want to talk about it right now.” Trastorno said, his voice laced with irritation and a hint of anger and disappointment.
“Oh, ok then.”
The ground shook again and a loud demonic scream bellowed out. Trastorno looked over the wall to see Fukakaina as a flaming giant. He wasn't even reacting to the scene unfolding before him. “So what did I miss?” He asked.
“Oh well right after you left I got chase by the dummy versions of the princesses, then Fukakaina suddenly turned into *points to Fukakaina* that, and she managed to get them off me. And she started to wild on the dummies, breaking them, burning them, and even bit their heads off.” He shuddered at that memory.
“I see……. Well I hope she doesn't mind sharing.” Mischief was about to ask what he meant before Trastorno snapped his bear claw and a fighter jet appeared. He climbed into the cockpit and flew off towards the destruction and let out a scream of fury as he fired bullets and rockets at the dummies.
“Huh. I guess everyone's got their own way of expressing their anger.”
“Ugh… my face….” A voice from below caught Mischief's attention. He looks down the wall and sees Riot regaining consciousness. “Ahh… my face man that fucking hurt like hell.” He held a wolf paw to his hurting face. “D-dude, what even hit me?” He looks at the destruction happening in front of him. “And what's going on here!?” He asked.
Mischief responded by taking a deep breath inflating his chest like a balloon. And he began to answer. “Well after you got knocked out we got attacked by the Celestia dummy that hit you and more showed up so we started running, then Discord said to just fight how we want and that gave us some ideas until a big dragon dummy attacked with a fireball and it exploded sending us flying, we were hurt and it looked like Fukakaina's hair got burned off during the explosion and when she noticed she turned to stone, then all the dummies attacked us but Trastorno put a shield to protect us, but then all of a sudden he grabs my wool and he just left us, to make these worse I got jumped by the dummy versions of the princesses and I smacked them with a larger piano and I ran away, but I got blocked by those dragons and those dummies broke out the piano and was surrounded. I thought I was finished, that's when I felt a terrifying chill in the air, I turned around and I saw Fukakaina burst into flames like she did in the forest when she got mad but they were more intense. And that look in her eyes….” Mischief deflated and gulped nervously. “I actually don't even want to tell you about it. Anyway, she became huge and started destroying every dummy she saw and I hid behind the wall you smashed into. Discord decided to make more dummies come more endlessly because he wanted to keep things interesting. Not long after Trastorno finally finished whatever he needed to do and came back but he didn't look happy. I told him the situation and he made a jet appear and he also attacked the dummies. And that's when you woke up to ask me what's happening.” Mischief concluded the explanation.
Riot got up from his position and he growled while clenching his fists in frustration. “Grrr, I can't believe this. It's bad enough that I get one-shot like a weak ass fifth rate villain but now I'm being outshined like it's nothing.”
“Well I mean you were pretty cool when you saved me back at the castle.” Mischief attempted to cheer up Riot.
“Maybe, but I'm pretty sure when that Celestia horse came at me, I freaked out because I didn't know what to do. But now I do. Because from now on, I won't let anything surprise me.” He snapped his dragon claw and a barrier formed around him, it disappeared shortly after. Then he smiled. “Alright, now it's time to show you I'm made of.” He launched himself up high in the air and looked down at the battlefield. He closed his eyes, when he opened them they were completely black while his left eye glowed orange. He also donned on an orange jacket with a hoodie just to match what he was looking for. “Siri, play some cool boss music on full blast.”
“Ok, playing cool boss music.”
Speakers materialized from behind and began playing the requested music. At the same time numerous gaster blasters also appeared and rained down lasers at the dummies. “And I ain't doing one speck of damage with these.” Riot said, trying to make his voice sound chilling. A pegasus guard dummy tried to sneak up on him and stab him with its spear. However the barrier Riot conjured earlier appeared and blocked the attack. He turned around and smirked at the dummy. “Not this time bitch.” He raised his hawk foot and kicked at the barrier which extended into a foot and it kicked away the dummy.
He shifted his attention towards Fukakaina still smashing the dummies and he had an idea. He teleported to where she was, enlarged his wolf arm and tapped Fukakaina's shoulder getting her attention.
“What is it!?” She asked, still feeling angry about her hair loss.
“Why don't we have another competition, whoever can break more dummies gets bragging rights for a whole month. Sound fun?” Riot offered.
Fukakaina thought about it and smiled mischievously. “You can just consider those rights mine because I'm far ahead of you.”
“Lucky for me I'm gonna catch up.” No sooner did he say that, a large storm cloud appeared overhead. A tornado formed and sucked all the dummies into the vortex. This also however sucked up the plane Trastorno was piloting. His screams were lost in the violent winds. “Oh crap!!” Riot said. Luckily, Trastorno managed to teleport out of there while clutching his head from dizziness.
“Sorry!” Riot apologized and turned to the storm cloud. “And now be amazed!” He exclaimed as he clapped his mismatched hands together and the storm cloud generated purple lightning, completely destroying the dummies inside. He turned to Fukakaina, who returned to her normal state, and flashed a cocky smile. “How's that for catching up?”
“Not bad I'll give you that.” Fukakaina complemented. She noticed the dummies respawning again. “But I'd say… this is how you clear enemies.” She raised her mismatched hands in the air and was about to do another anime themed attack when a voice came from behind them.
“Have no fear citizens!” Riot and Fukakaina turn around to see Mischief floating above them. Not only that, he was wearing a light purple superhero costume. The gloves and boots were dark purple, two c's were on his chest, a cape matching his gloves, and a mask covering his eyes. “For these evildoers shall feel the might of Captain Chaos!!” He announced before shooting himself towards the enormous crowd of pony dummies.
He landed on the with a powerful force that sent the surrounding dummies flying. He reached into his wool and pulled out a massive mallet and spun around smashing the dummies into splintering bits. He threw the mallet away which also smashed a few dummies along the way. He looked around and the dummies that hadn't been destroyed were advancing towards him. He grabbed the ground as if it were made of rubber and flew upwards stretching the ground along with it. He then rocketed back down and made large ripples flinging the dummies into the air once again.
Then the dummies were then blasted by a blue beam. Everyone turned to see a giant mecha version of Trastorno with its bear arm extended and a cannon in the palm. Mischief was not happy having his targets snatched just like that, so he flew towards the mecha Trastorno.
“Hey I had them! Find your own baddies!” He shouted angrily.
The mecha Trastorno placed his leopard paw behind his head. “Whoops sorry about that, didn't mean to butt in.” He apologized. Mischief continued to narrow his eyes. “How about this, after this I'll take you to Mexico to eat?” Trastorno suggested.
Mischief's eyes widened. “You promise?” He asked. Trastorno nodded. “Ok then I forgive you.” Mischief said happily.
“Hey, if food is involved then count me in.” Riot said. He floated towards the duo followed by Fukakaina.
“Hope you don't mind taking a plus two.” Fukakaina said.
“Ehhh why not I guess, the more the merrier.” Trastorno said.
“Then let's get back to the party, because there's bragging rights with my name on them.” Riot said and he flew to resume fighting the dummies.
“Over my dead body they are.” Fukakaina said before flying after Riot. Trastorno and Mischief both looked at each other wondering what bragging rights they were talking about. They both shrugged and followed after them.
While they were continuing their training, Discord was far-off in the distance observing them. “Ahhh they grow up so fast.” He said, wiping a tear from his eye.