August 27, 2058
The rest of the first day passed rather calmly. The dining hall was in the main building, and the majority of our class ended up eating together at the same table–except for Prim, who had gone out to the city somewhere to dine, and Lunar Light, who couldn’t be torn away from the library.
Students from other classes and years gave our table plenty of looks. Everyone knew it was because of me and Summer. The two of us really were the only two non-unicorn students in the entire school. I was unsure if there were any other students from Earth than me and Hannah. There wasn’t any visual clue to something like that. Even names weren’t a surefire way of learning if someone was from Earth since there were plenty of ponies from Earth who had adopted Equestrian naming conventions. There were even ponies from Equestria who had adopted Earthling conventions–although that was less common. One of the bigger clues was whether they said things like anyone, someone, everyone instead of anypony, somepony, everypony. Equestrians almost always inserted pony into their terminology.
Nobody from the other classes bothered me or Summer during dinner, but that might have been because of the Headmaster, who sat at the head of the dining hall eating what looked like a roasted boar–which I wondered who had cooked it and how the other students felt about seeing it. Still, despite his bored expression as he ate, he was clearly watching everyone in the dining hall, and all were on their best behavior as a result.
The first night at the dorms was primarily quiet, aside from hearing Spring Fling chew out Lunar Light for almost breaking curfew by arriving back at the dorms with a mere minute left to spare. I kept to my room and unpacked my meager luggage, which consisted of a few pictures of my family, a few books, and my Donatello Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Generation 10 action figure with ninja-kicking action–Bright didn’t see the appeal. My parents said they would get me the seventy-fifth-anniversary figure next year. I’d have to pick that up over the summer break. Bright’s side of the room was also primarily pictures of his family, which were much more numerous than mine. He also had a sword, which somehow was not against dorm rules. We didn’t have to worry about bathroom supplies because the school provided those, just like food in the dining hall. Most of us didn’t have much or any money, and the school couldn’t have us starving or unsanitary.
It was a new place, and I wasn’t used to sharing a room, so it took me a while to fall asleep. I dreamed about how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were in school, but they were constantly being sent to the principal’s office for not holding a pencil correctly. Then, the dream suddenly paused.
“Greetings, Turnip Jones. I’ll try not to take much of your time. I just wanted to ask if you had any questions or concerns about the school.”
“Who is this?” I asked in confusion.
“I am Professor Psychic Calm. This is a dream. I’m checking on each student and ensuring no one is having problems before classes start. Do you have any issues you wish to discuss?”
“Uh, I can’t think of anything right now. Is anyone else having issues?”
“Sorry, I maintain complete confidentiality with those I speak to, so I cannot reveal that information. If you have no questions or concerns, I’ll release you. I have many students to check on, and this form of communication takes me much longer than it once did.”
“Oh, well, guess I’ll see you in class then.”
“You are not currently scheduled for my class this semester, and since I operate here, few of my students ever see me in class, so seeing me is unlikely. Enjoy the rest of your sleep, along with your first day of classes.”
Riiiiiinnnnnnngggggg[
I fell out of bed. “What’s that sound?! A fire alarm? Did Spring catch fire again?”
There was a click, and the sound stopped.
“Ya ain’t never heard an alarm clock, Turnip?” Bright asked.
I looked at him. Next to his bed was an old-timey wind-up alarm clock with a dimple clockface and two bells on top.
“Not like that one,” I answered. “We haven’t used alarm clocks like that for longer than my grandparents have been alive. I’m not sure my great-grandparents even used them. I’ve only seen something like that as an icon.”
“What’s an icon?” Bright asked.
Right, Equestrians didn’t have cell phones. Few had any form of phone, for that matter, and the majority of places didn’t have electricity. It was only now starting to occur to me how separated I was from certain things I took for granted. I may not have been from a city, but we still had phones and electricity.
“Have you ever used a computer?” I asked.
Bright nodded. “Yes, Princess Twilight had one of those doohickies put in the library back home. Ah heard the library here has ‘em, too.”
“Icons are the little pictures you click to make a program pull up. We have programs that do electronic alarms, and most of them sound nothing like that,” I explained.
Bright blinked. “So, y'all sleep in libraries back home for the computers to wake ya up? Mah aunts never told meh that. Earth is strange, but ah bet ya get a lot of readin’ in.”
I stared for a second. “I think your aunts might have left a lot of details out in describing what life on Earth is like.”
He shrugged. “Well, they sure as didn’t mention y’all sleep in libraries, so they must have. Hurry up and get outta bed. We don’t wanna be late for breakfast and then class.”
I sighed. “I’ll tell you about Earth over breakfast.”
We made it down to the dining hall, saddlebags empty except for quills and paper. Breakfast was pancakes, apple juice, and sliced apples. As we ate, I explained to Bright and Summer what Earth was like while Hannah chimed in.
Bright finished off another apple and looked at the two of us questionably. “So, your town is called Munjor, and it is in a part of Kansas, which is in a part of Earth called the United States?”
I nodded. “Right.”
He then turned to Hannah. “And your town is called Jackson, and it is in a place called…Miss Sipi–which ain’t the name of any mare, and it is also in the United States place.”
“It’s Miss-is-sip-pi,” Hannah sounded out. “But you got the rest right.”
“Munjor is much much smaller than Jackson, though,” I clarified. “Jackson is about the size of Canterlot, while Munjor you can see the entire town after walking five minutes.”
“I think Jackson is bigger than Canterlot, honestly,” Hannah chimed in. “I’m not sure how many ponies live on Canterlot, but I’m not sure it would even qualify as a city back home, maybe a mid-sized town. You could fit like five or six Canterlots in Jackson, and Jackson isn’t even that big a city. There are cities on Earth you could fit a hundred Jacksons into.”
“Munjor isn’t anywhere near that. Munjor barely qualifies as a town,” I lamented. “Most maps of Kansas don’t even bother to include it. There’s like two hundred people there. You were talking about your aunts visiting New York City, right? New York City has over twenty-five million people living in it.”
Bright blinked. “No way! That’s darn near half the number of ponies in Equestria! That many ponies couldn’ live in one city.”
“There’s a bunch of ponies in New York City, but most of the people living there are humans,” Hannah corrected.
“That’s worse!” Bright exclaimed. He pointed to the Headmaster. “Look how big humans are. You can fit two grown ponies and a foal en the same space as one of them there humans.”
Summer shivered. “Humans scare me. They’re so big, and they eat other creatures. What’s Headmaster eating now?”
I looked at where Headmaster was sitting. It was pretty easy to make things out. He was in full view of all the tables.
“It looks like bacon, eggs, and sausage,” I said.
“What’s bacon and sausage?” Summer asked, cringing down in her seat.
“Pig,” Hannah answered. “He was eating a boar last night. Seems like he has a taste for swine flesh.”
Summer whimpered.
“I wonder where he gets the meat,” I said. “It doesn't seem like it should be that common in Canterlot.”
Bright waved a hoof dismissively. “Not that hard. Mah family raises pigs to hunt for truffles, but we get too many, so we sell to them there griffins. Ah know what happens to the pigs, ah ain’t no fool, and mah family ain’t the only farmers who do the same. It ain’t pleasant to think about, but takin’ care of an excess of pigs gets expensive, and turnin’ loose just leads to a bunch of wild hogs causin’ destruction and attackin’ ponies. Plus, money is money, and most farms always need more of it.”
“Still, it can’t be cost-effective,” Hannah said. “Meat has to be a pretty penny in Equestria. Where would he even find a butcher? Earth has pony butchers, but I didn’t think Equestria did.”
Summer gaped in horror. “Earth has ponies that kill and chop up critters?!”
“Well, yeah,” Hannah said. “They were meat workers before they were ponies, or their parents were, and they just sorta kept doing it because that’s what they knew how to do, and it provided food for humans. Humans are still the dominant species on Earth, and it just makes economic sense for ponies to do things that earn them money from humans.”
Summer looked at me with big, tear-filled eyes. “You said you grew up on a farm on Earth. Does your family hurt critters?”
I shook my head. “No, we kept chickens, but we never sold or butchered them. We just kept them for eggs.”
She smiled at me. “That’s good.” She then looked at Bright. She frowned and started steaming, literally. “Unlike some ponies that murder critters!”
“Ah don’t even like farmin’!” Bright protested.
“Kirin student.”
Everyone in the dining hall turned to look at Headmaster. He was still focused on his breakfast, but he now had his staff in one hand.
“If you catch fire in the dining hall, I will be forced to douse you with water. Please control your temper,” he said in a monotone. He didn’t raise his voice, but it projected to the entire hall
Summer raised a hoof as if she was answering in class. “My name is-”
“I don’t care,” Headmaster said, cutting her off. ”Control your temper.” He then looked up. “All students should now take your plates to be cleaned so you can make it to class on time. If anyone damages their plates, they will stay behind to help the staff clean. The last to deliver their dirty plates to the staff will also be helping clean. Oh-and you have to bring your own plates to the staff. It is good to be helpful, but you also have to have responsibility for what you are using.”
“But aren’t we graded on attendance?” a student at another table asked. “Won’t we be late to class or miss class if we stay to clean?”
Headmaster nodded. “Yes, so you best not be last. Don’t break anything, either.”
“That’s not fair! Somepony is going to miss the first class no matter what!” another student protested.
Headmaster went back to eating and didn’t reply. He seemed to have lost all interest in the students. A member of the staff delivered Headmaster a plate of pancakes.
Students immediately left their seats and started levitating their plates off the tables. A line quickly formed to give the plates to the staff.
I looked down at my pair of plates and mug. I’d have to stack the smaller plate and my mug on the larger plate and carefully carry the large plate by mouth. There was no way I could avoid being last in line. It was the first day of classes, and my attendance was already going to suffer. If this happened every day, the only way I was going to make it to my first class was if I got up earlier, ate earlier, and was out of the dining hall before everyone else was done.
Bright, Hannah, and Summer were looking at me.
“Ya know, one of us could let ya get in line ahead of us. He didn’t ban students from doin’ that. We can probably clean plates faster,” Bright suggested.
I smiled at them and shook my head. “Nah, go ahead. No matter what, someone has to take the hit, and it could end up being one of you in the future. Go ahead. I’ve got it this time, and I’ll just make sure I get here earlier in the future. First class is Fundamentals and Theory of Magic, and I aced that part of the exam. Ptogesdir Newman said so. So I can survive being late. Being late isn’t so bad anyway. I’ll probably drop a few ranks and get this target off my back.”
“If you’re sure,” Summer said, sounding anything but.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I confirmed.
“I don’t see any overall benefit if we end up being late instead of him, and he says he knows the material. That makes him being ladt the net least negative impact. Let’s get moving,” Hannah said before grabbing her dirty dishes with her magic and joining the line.
Bright frowned. “Ya still will have more trouble washin’ dishes than us.”
“I got this,” I insisted. “If you keep hanging around here worrying about me, you’ll be late too.”
Summer nudged Bright. “He’s right. We’ll be late if we wait too long. He isn’t going to change his mind, so we need to go.”
Bright reluctantly started moving along with her. “Still don’t seem fair.”
I watched them get in the rapidly shrinking line. By the time I gathered my dirty dishes, the line would be gone. I carefully started stacking my dishes. Bright was right. This wasn’t fair, but I knew things would be harder on me because I was an earth pony, so there was no use complaining about it.
Making my way to the place to turn in my dishes was slow going. I was half-tempted to rush since I was going to be cleaning dishes whether I dropped mine or not, but Headmaster was still sitting at his table eating, and even if he didn’t seem to be paying attention, he’d proven that he was very aware of what was happening around him. He’d likely think I was being a troublemaker if I dropped my dishes now and they broke, which could only lead to a more significant drop in my ranking. I was almost certainly dropping out of first place because of being late to or missing class; I didn’t want to fall to the bottom third.
I finally got to where the cook stood and passed him the dishes.
“So, where do I go to wash?” I asked him with a sigh.
The cook looked over to Headmaster, who looked up from his meal at me.
“You don’t, earth pony. You go to class,” Headmaster answered.
I blinked. “But you said-”
Headmaster grinned. “I said the last one to return their dishes needed to help wash. What is on my table?”
I looked at his table, and realization sunk in. He had lots of dishes, some with food still on them. He hadn’t even finished eating yet. The person who would be helping wash dishes was the Headmaster. He’d planned it all along.
“Students need to pay more attention to what is being said to them. This is a school of magic where following directions can prevent a spell from blowing up in your face. If students don’t comprehend what is being said to them, they can’t follow directions,” Headmaster said. He then sighed. “Such a disappointing lot of students; not one paid attention. No wonder we finished last place last year. Move along, earth pony. I have dishes to wash. Pay attention in the future.”