”Ha ha ha, oh this is great! Come on, Celestia, laugh with me.”
“Discord, where are you? Show yourself!”
“No, I don’t think I will, Celestia. Let me be completely frank with you. I want to try a little experiment. I want to know what it might take for you to see things from my perspective.”
“What, disharmony? Not a chance in Tartarus!”
“My, such strong language for a cultural role model. Tisk, tisk! You know Celestia, your problem is that you’re so used to always running the show. I’m just going to give you a taste of what things feel like when you aren’t in control. I’ll be sending you to a nice little place I heard about from the guys at the Chaos Club. Don’t worry, you’ll still be immortal. I might like to have a little fun at your expense, but I’m not a monster.”
“Discord, I’m warning you!”
“Oh, I just can't wait to see what you're going to do, Celestia! Will you try to create order from the chaos? Will you give in and just learn to live with it? Will you maybe even…enjoy it?”
“Never!”
“Lighten up, Princess dear. It’ll make everything easier. Learn to ride the wave instead of fighting it.”
“What are you—”
Sudden rushing blackness filled the Princess’ senses. As she fell, Celestia’s entire body was wracked in pain all the way to her core. It felt like her body was being ripped apart, which wasn’t very far from the truth.
Despite her resolve not to give Discord the satisfaction, her mouth flew open with a shriek of anguish that terminated suddenly as she landed on her back, something soft beneath her. Celestia gasped, slowly catching her breath.
The place she had ended up was dimly lit. There was a scramble of movement to her side, and a light suddenly turned on. Celestia blinked at the brightness, realizing she shared a bed with a strange-looking creature. It sat up and suddenly reached towards her. “Hey, what the—”
Celestia cast a stunning spell, purely by reflex. She was unable to focus it, however, and a wave of yellow light washed over the entire room. The creature beside her went rigid and its cranium whacked against the headboard.
Seconds passed. There was silence, and nothing moved. Celestia took a deep breath. She was safe, for the moment.
Her magic, while effective, had not been the concentrated, efficient burst Celestia had intended. She had expended a considerable amount of energy. Combined with her recent ordeal, the experience left her feeling lethargic.
Why had the spell gone wrong? Was something wrong with her horn? The princess reached up to touch it, feeling nothing but mane and…
She jerked back her—foreleg? Something felt really strange at its tip. Hooves did not provide very much tactile sensation, and the richness of touch at her extremities was unexpected. She held it up so she could see it and was surprised to find a fleshy claw-like paw had replaced her hoof. The same was true for her other foreleg, each one now sported long, very mobile and somewhat disturbingly tentacular digits. She wriggled them in fascination for a moment. Celestia stared at her new hands, infuriated that Discord would stoop to changing her body.
It was not the first time Celestia had experienced a transformation. After being around magic for millennia, it was one of those things that just happened. She took a deep breath, concentrating on turning herself back into her usual equine form.
Nothing happened. Celestia groaned inwardly. This body was not suited to magic at all! She lacked a horn to properly focus it and the overpowered stunning spell had taken a lot out of her.
The former pony sat up and put her hind legs over the edge of the bed and onto on the floor, where she saw they ended in flat, elongated feet. Things were already new and complicated enough without throwing a whole new way of movement into the mix! This would make something so simple as walking much more difficult.
She took a deep calming breath and looked around. The room was large enough for the bed, a few pieces of furniture, and a rectangular black device with wires protruding from it. And she was sharing the bed with what appeared to be a large, unconscious, and sparsely haired ape-like creature. A discreet glance confirmed that it was most likely the male of the species. She glanced at her own body and sighed. Female, of course! Just wait till I get my... hands... on Discord! she thought, furious. He’ll be begging to be put back into the garden statuary display!
On the nightstand on the far side of the bed was a wallet. Rather than taking time to figure out the mechanics of walking upright she crawled carefully on all fours around the bed and picked up the billfold.
There was an identification card inside. The picture matched the unconscious creature lying on the bed. His name was Joshua Tanner. Based on other data on the card, he was a member of the United States Navy. In bed with a sailor! Luna would laugh her head off.
Celestia shuffled through the wallet, finding some currency issued by the United States of America and some other cards with Joshua’s name on them. There was something with the words Band-Aid printed on it as welll as a few pieces of paper, including a business card that read U.S. Navy Dental Corps.
The wallet went back where Celestia had found it. She looked at Joshua. It seemed like he was going to keep sleeping for a while, so Celestia used the furniture to prop herself up. Rising unsteadily to a standing position on two legs, she braced herself on the wall and slowly made her way to a set of curtains that were leaking light around their edges.
As she pulled back the curtains, sunlight flooded in through a sliding glass door. Celestia wondered if the bright morning sun was hers. She reached out with magic, but couldn’t feel the star’s influence.
The room she was in was several floors off the ground. Celestia looked out over a strange city as her eyes adjusted to the light. The buildings were not drab, but also not as colorful as an Equestrian settlement. Far away was an ocean beach. Wanting a closer look, she slid open the door and stepped out onto a small balcony.
Seeing other balconies attached to other rooms made Celestia think she must be in some kind of hotel. The street below was paved and large vehicles moved along it. Quite a few of the locals were around, walking on the sidewalks and going into and out of buildings. It took Celestia a moment to realize that every single one of them was clothed and she was not. If it was their custom to always wear clothes, she was severely underdressed.
As Celestia quickly retreated back into the room, a second thought struck her. Their manes were all quite drab. None of them had anything like the pastel multicolored hair she saw flowing around her as she moved. She suspected it would look strange to them.
Celestia carefully made her way to the other end of the room where there were two wooden doors. One was open, revealing a darkened restroom. The second led to a hallway with other doors, reinforcing Celestia’s assumption of a hotel.
She sat down on the carpet of the room, crossing her legs into a comfortable position. Having nowhere else to focus her magic, Celestia concentrated on her fingers. She began putting together a communication spell similar to the one she used to send letters.
Celestia poured more energy into the magic, beginning to sweat as if the exertion was physical. She wondered if her magic was now very weak, or if it just took that much effort to reach her home from where she now was.
Ten minutes later Celestia was panting with exhaustion but still had not produced results. Reluctantly, she let the magic fade. It would take either more power or a different approach.
It felt like she needed a nap to refresh her energy and mind. Other than the fact that she was sharing a room with the mysterious Joshua, that sounded like a fine idea. Celestia walked into the bathroom, spotting the lock on the door. It was not much protection, but it would give her time to stun him again if necessary.
The bathroom contained recognizable facilities, their sizes and shapes suited to the resident dominant species. Other devices were around, attached to the walls and sitting on the counter. Celestia decided not to touch them.
There was a purse beside the sink. Inside was makeup, a small cardboard box labeled “colored contact lenses,” scraps of paper, and a few odds and ends. Celestia also found a card that matched the format of Joshua’s military identification. The name on it was Alice Scrivello.
Celestia took a moment to use the mirror. In comparison to her usual face, the eyes looked small and set to the front. Her lips were redder than the rest of her bare skin and sat below and separated from her nose. She held the ID card up, comparing it to what she saw in the mirror. The hair and eyes were different, but the face matched. She gritted her teeth in anger. Discord had not only sent her here, he’d put her in place of one the inhabitants. Judging by how she’d woken up in bed with Joshua, the two of them were probably more than just friends!
Replacing Alice’s card in the purse, Celestia took a moment to examine the body she’d woken up in. Compared to what she was used to, it seemed rather thin and elongated. She smiled briefly at the thought that she’d probably lost quite a bit of weight.
She yawned, reminding herself of the original purpose of entering the bathroom. Celestia laid a few towels down to add a small measure of comfort to the somewhat chilly bathtub. Closing the door put the room in darkness, but that was all right. She needed her rest. Stuck in a strange body, in a foreign hotel room, with a strange male ape, and having to sleep in the bath. She drifted off counting the myriad ways she could think of to make Discord pay.
The Sun Princess woke up in her own bed the morning after reappearing in Equestria. Luna had insisted that Celestia get some sleep only shortly after beginning her story.
The mare-turned-woman sat up, feeling rested. Her bed in the Castle was comfortable, although not much more plush than anything she had been able to find on Earth. During her time on the other planet, she’d discovered how much the inhabitants valued comfort.
Celestia didn’t think anypony would mind if she went naked, but the morning air felt a little chilly on her bare skin. Also, she was reminded that this body was not hers. To protect the owner’s modesty, she reached for the neat pile of clothes that had been laundered and left beside the bed.
She was just lacing up her boots when a maid quietly opened the door. The servant showed only slight traces of surprise under her professionalism. “Good morning, Princess. Are you ready for breakfast?”
Celestia smiled. There was a reason they only hired the best to work at the castle. Come Nightmare Moon, Discord, or the Princess being replaced by an alien, they could count on the maid service remaining unflappable.
“I’d like something to eat.” Celestia got up and followed the pony out the door. The Princess' steel-toed footgear clunked on the steps as the maid escorted her downstairs.
The breakfast table was laid with more variety than usual. Evidently somepony had realized that the Princess might require a new diet. As Celestia sat down, her younger sister appeared.
“I was so excited about your return, I could barely concentrate on the moon through the night.” Luna smiled and picked up a piece of toast.
“How have things been since I disappeared?” Celestia looked for some silverware. It was probably possible for her to eat telekinetically like Luna, but the amount of magic she’d expended to get home had left her feeling drained in ways that sleep could not replenish. One of the stewards helpfully appeared with a fork, knife, and spoon.
Luna chewed slowly and thoughtfully, considering her sister’s question. “We managed. It wasn’t business as usual, but things kept going.”
Celestia nodded, remembering the weeks and months that followed Luna’s banishment to the moon. Things hadn’t been quite the same, not until she’d returned.
“But, you’re back now.” Luna smiled. “I sent a letter to Twilight Sparkle last night. She said that she and her friends would be arriving on the first train.”
Her older sister also put on a smile, albeit a strained one. How would her favorite student react to seeing what had become of Celestia? She’d always been there for Twilight, solid and unchanging.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” said Luna. “I know you haven’t told me the whole story yet, but I’d like to know where the human female Alice ended up if you took her place on Earth.”
Celestia gulped. “I don’t know.” Her eyes grew wide at a sudden thought. “I suppose it's possible that she was transported to Equestria. Were there any reports of a strange pony that looked like me?”
"Oh!" Luna ears drooped and her expression grew sheepish. “About that...”
Author note:
I meant for the cover art to be a picture of the human-ized Princess making a sort of "WTF is this?" gesture. Sorry if it looks like something else. Stupid sexy Celestia.
Title, edits, and story ideas by Dafaddah
Thanks for reading! New chapters soon.