//------------------------------// // The End. // Story: Man in a Pony’s World // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// The Crystal Empire, a city state of Equestria. Once upon a time, it was ruled by a dictator, King Sombra. A thousand years later, six little ponies had come, along with an alicorn and freed the crystal ponies from King Sombra’s reign for good. Now, the alicorn, Princess Cadance, along with her husband Shining Armor, rules over the kingdom in solace across the city state. About a decade ago, something made the crystal ponies, and most of Equestria, even happier: An alicorn foal. There was one individual that was extremely happy with this revelation. Not because it was an alicorn filly, not because it was Cadance’s first foal, no, the individual was just happy. His name was Bob; he was extremely excited at the prospect of being an uncle. So when the filly was first conceived, Bob immediately went up to the empire to meet his niece. Years later, that niece of his was now twelve years old. Now, Bob was on vacation from his life as a musician, and one of the first stops was the Crystal Empire. The city was far too norh for regular visits, which did upset Bob just a little bit; he loved his adopted brother and sister in law, and thanks to the distance between his home and the Empire, it made seeing them constantly rather difficult. So the first course of action was to go visit the Empire for a a week or two, take a drink, hang out with Shining Armor, and give Cadance a hug and free her from the horrible, damn near nightmare inducing thing that is bureaucracy. And… play with his niece.  Bob was laying on his back, on a cushion, panting. Something he had not been informed of, was that any foals related to Twilight Sparkle in some capacity, was going to be a pain in the ass until they were sixty. Laying beside him was his niece, Flurry Heart, who he had finally managed to wear out... Not really. “C’mon, Uncle Bob, you can’t be that tired already!” “Your uncle isn’t used to being awake at this hour, Flurry. I’m used to being partially nocturnal.” “No you aren’t. Auntie Twilight told me that you have a normal sleep schedule.” “I’m also twenty seven years old,” Bob groaned as he sat up. “Why can’t you just be happy with ear scratches and snuggles? I’m old and tired, and all you wanna do is wrestle with me!” “Duh, how can I be big and strong like Dad if I can’t beat you in a wrestling match? You’re taller than Dad is, so you must be stronger!” “…You have the strength of an earth pony in those hooves. An earth can break my spine by hugging me too hard. By default, pound for pound, you are going to be stronger than your father is.” “And I want to know how to fight!” “Can we just go back to when you were five years old and the only thing you wanted to do was snuggle up on my stomach whenever I come and visit?” Bob whined. “No!” Flurry shook her head. “You could scratch my ears, though. That’s always nice.” Soon, the two were snuggling up, Bob was holding Flurry in his lap, idly stroking her while she snored away. Just like any filly, she tired easily and it was nearing her nap time. This was something Bob was grateful for; his niece was a great cuddle buddy when you wear her out. Otherwise, she’ll drive anypony nearby insane. The door to Flurry’s play room clicked open, and Cadance trotted in with a giggle. Her belly was a little round; another foal was on the way. “I see you can still tire our Flurry pretty effectively.” “She nearly broke six of my ribs while we were wrestling,” Bob sighed. “She hits harder than Dashie does, and she hits hard. Flurry’s pulling her punches too!” Bob whispered. “You’re lucky that I still find fillies adorable, or I would’ve punted your daughter into the Moon after the first hour of me being here.” Cadance giggled. “Flurry adores you, Bob. Remember when she had a crush on you when you first had a concert in the Empire?” “Oh yeah, that was really weird for me. ‘Hey uncle, you’re pretty handsome…’” Bob said in a poor imitation of his niece’s voice. “I know having crushes and stuff on your adoptive relatives is normal for you ponies, but I still do not think like you guys.” The human shivered. “Having my adorable niece tell me that she was building a shrine in my name was horrifying.” “Luckily her crush on you tempered off when you started coming to visit more often…” Cadance plopped down next to the human. “So, how are Zippy and Rainbow Dash?” “Everything is going great with them. I rewrote and re-performed the song I improvised for Dash on our anniversary and I spent all day massaging Zippy on our anniversary. It was pretty fun, not gonna lie.” Bob smiled. “Ah, the look on her face when I started on her hips was so cute…” The human sighed. “When I get back, Twilight’s gonna turn me into a pony and we’re gonna try to try…” “You three plan on having foals?” Cadance asked. “Yeah. It took a lot of convincing, but I’m finally ready to try. I do want my own kids, even if it’ll be weird to explain to them why their dad looks weird.” “Congrats Bob! I can’t wait to be an aunt that spoils your foals for once!” “If my kid ends up killing me with puppy eyes and a cute, whiny ‘Auntie Cady let me do it’, I will haunt your ass.” Cadance giggled before nuzzling him. “How’s life goin’ Cady?” Bob asked as he slipped his hand under his sister in law’s jaw, and started scratching it. “Everything’s going great… aside from the nobles,” both man and Princess shuttered. “Flurry Heart is growing nicely, as you can tell.” Cadance paused. “Shiny was hoping to share a drink with you while you’re here.” “I’ll definitely see to that at some point while I’m here,” Bob chuckled as he watched his sister in law go cross eyed. The years had been more than nice to his sister in law. Her mane and tail had started flowing, much like Celestia and Luna’s had. She grew a little taller, now heavily resembling a very pink Luna, with her blond, pink, and purple mane. To say she was pretty was an understatement. “You still look adorable after all these years.” “Well,” Cadance gave him puppy eyes. “I do pride myself in looking adorable!”  The door clicked open and Shining Armor had walked in. The years were very kind to the stallion; he didn’t look much older than he had when he and Bob had first met. “Bob!” “Shhh,” both human and princess pointed at the unicorn’s sleeping daughter.  “We'll get wasted later, bro,” Bob whispered. Shining Armor nodded and nuzzled Bob, shared a kiss with his wife and trotted out the door. “You know,” the human leaned back. “I wasn’t here for the Battle of the Bell; I was a bit out of the country. I heard that Tirek and… Cozy Glow got encased in stone.”  “Why are you bringing this up, now?” “Think that keeping Cozy Glow petrified for all of eternity’s a bit too rough on that kid?” “...She tried to take over Equestria so many times, Bob. She has hurt your family so much…” “I know. I can’t help but feel a bit sorry for her though; I was once that same kid that wasn’t given a chance to ‘redeem’ myself.” “You never tried to kill anyone. If it weren’t for everypony and everyling coming together, we would be dead.” “I… guess. What if we let just Cozy out? She’s just a filly; if she tries anything then I will personally kick her head off her shoulders.” Cadance flinched at the sudden hatred radiating off of Bob. “I’m willing to give Cozy Glow a chance, but she’s on thin ice with me. I heard of every little thing she did to Twilight, and watched it happen too.”  “Well, Auntie Celestia did show me how to free the Legion. We’ll set Cozy Glow and see what she does. However, I want Shiny there, and I-” Bob lifted his shirt, revealing a revolver he had gotten during one of his many escapades into the Mirror World. “She tries shit, and I’m unloading this into her.” Cadance simply nodded; Bob had told enough stories about human weaponry, and had witnessed the power behind the human’s revolver to know that if Bob wanted to, he could easily eliminate Cozy Glow should he need it. A few hours later, Bob, Shining Armor, and Cadance were standing in front of the stone statue. Bob had his weapon holstered, but was a wrong move away from drawing it. Shining Armor had a shield, and he was casting a glare at the three creatures before him; Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and King Sombra. “We’re only letting Cozy Glow out,” he says. “I know. She’s the only one that we can… put down,” Bob admits. “She’s the only one I can see possibly redeeming anyways.” Cadance’s horn lit up and a flash of rainbows had hit the petrified Cozy Glow. The stone split and cracked before everypony’s eyes were filled with a bright, white light. As soon as their vision cleared up, they watched as Bob slowly approached the dazed filly. The filly shook her head and looked around. “What…” “Howdy,” Bob knelt down. “How’s it going?” “What the buck are you?” “I’m a human, adoptive brother of Twilight Sparkle.” The human stopped and started studying the filly. She was… light pink, her mane and tail were curled up and held tightly by some hair ties. Her cutie mark was a rook. “Before you ask, I suggested that we let you go. Personally, I have every reason to hate you, but I’d like to believe that you could be a good person.” “...I can get a second chance?” Cozy asked, giving the human big, wide puppy eyes… The human immediately picked up on the slight bit of malice behind those eyes, but decided to play along. “Eeyup,” Bob knelt down and set his left hand on Cozy’s back, and started rubbing it. “You can become a better pony, grow up, and do good things. The only problem with that is… I can tell when you’re lying,” the human glared. “I don’t appreciate being lied to, kid. I genuinely wanna give you another shot at life, a chance to become something better. I don’t have to let you go. In fact, my sister in law and my brother are very much against the idea.” “I…” Cozy Glow looked behind her, looking at her fallen comrades, Lord Tirek and King Sombra. “Okay. I see that now. But… How can I be redeemed? How do you plan on redeeming somepony that everypony deems as a lost cause? The first time I messed up, I was sent to Tartarus-” “After nearly taking over the kingdom using the magic of friendship,” pointed out before rubbing her back some more. “You know, you could possibly gain something from living in the Crystal Empire…” Bob grinned before turning to Cadance and Shining Armor. “Whaddya say to another filly in the castle?” “...Bob, why would we care for that monster?” “Yeah, why would I want to go live with these ponies when they won’t love me?” “Kiddo, where are your parents?” Bob asked. “Genuinely, where are your parents?” “I… They mostly neglected me, and shipped me off to Twilight’s School of Friendship without letting me say otherwise. I already wasn’t a very good filly, and I saw a chance to finally be something.” Cozy said, her ears pinned against her skull. The human paused, before pulling the filly closer to his chest. Now, Shining Armor and Cadance’s no longer stared at the filly with any malice, soon were actually looking sympathetic, though skeptical.  “Jeez kid, talk about shitty parents,” Bob pulled the filly close. “I can’t raise ya, not very well, but I bet these two can,” the human pointed at the Crystal Empire’s rulers. “They do, after all, already have some experience and have raised a wonderful young lady. Perhaps… some parental love and snuggle time with a sibling is all you really need to keep you from being a monster…” Bob gently stroked the filly’s cheeks, before he screamed in pain as the filly chomped down on his thumb. She didn’t draw blood or break anything, but it still hurt. “I can’t believe you fell for that! Haha! I don’t care about my parents…” Cozy Glow stopped as her gaze fell upon the human that wasn’t mad at her. Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s scowls soon returned. All Cozy could do was stare up at the human that was still holding her, who was staring right back at her. Instead of one of anger or hatred, it was just… one of disappointment. That didn’t feel good to the filly. Cozy tilted her head, as she contemplated what she had just done. The human thought, foolishly, that she was saddened by her parents’ neglect of her and did his best to comfort her. Admittedly, the human’s paws caressing her cheek did feel good… And then she bit him for no reason. “I thought I could getcha that second chance kiddo. I firmly believe in second chances, even third chances…” Bob sighed. “Perhaps I was wrong-” “Wait,” Cozy raised her hoof to the human’s lips. “I… That look you’re giving me, what is it?” “I’m simply disappointed. I thought you could change, getcha to be a better pony, but then you did that. I was offering you something I thought you needed some form of affection for. Then you bit me.” Bob sighed. “Sorry kiddo, but back in the stone-” “I’m… sor-” Cozy croaked. “Sorr-” she coughed and wheezed. “Sorry for biting you and tricking you, okay? Believe it or not, that story is true, but… I don't care about them anymore…” “Shiny, are you seeing what I’m seeing? Cadance asked. “Nope.” The prince said sharply. “Cozy’s showing remorse…” “Oh… She said sorry too.” “Because I am! I can’t shake that look of disappointment away from my mind, okay? It’s… like I let somepony down.” Bob smiled slightly before rubbing her back again. Slowly, and hesitantly, Bob moved his thumb up and started rubbing her cheek again. “That feels really nice, by the way.” The human’s smile grew a little, while Cozy herself looked conflicted between biting the hand again out of spite, or just accept the feeling. “It better feel good; my wife adores cheek rubs. Most ponies do, in fact. This at least proves you are a pony and not some eldritch abomination trapped inside the body of a filly.” “Am I going back to being stone now?” “No,” Cadance started. “I will give you a chance. I will adopt you and raise you as my own. I will give you as much time as you need to… redeem yourself. However, the very moment you start showing your old ways, namely trying to kill anypony… I will turn you into stone. Am I heard, young lady?” “Anything to not get that disappointed look on this guy’s face again… I am sorry, Bob.” “Try your best kid, I’ll be rootin’ for ya. Hopefully when I come back to the Empire one day, I will be greeted by two adoring nieces and perhaps a nephew.” Bob set the filly down. “Go on, greet your new parents; they’ll probably love you to bits once you earn their trust.” Bob got up and smiled as the filly cautiously stepped forward. She attempted to nuzzle Cadance, who was giving her a smell check, before Cadance flinched back and raised her muzzle out of the filly’s reach. Cadance wasn't expecting Cozy Glow to actually try to be genuinely affectionate. Several months later, Bob was sitting backstage, beside him was the Ponytones. “Ladies, and Big Mac,” Bob greeted the group of vocalists. “So Rarity, why did you ask me to show up?” “Well, as you know, you are rather well renowned in Equestria for your talents. I figured it would be a good idea to expand the Ponytones’ popularity a bit by collaborating with you during tonight’s Nightmare Night festival. Given that you haven’t put on a show since Luna went to visit Queen Chrysalis’s Hive a year ago, it would be a good opportunity to reinvigorate your desire to play.” “Alright. What do you want me to be? I can be a tenor, a baritone, or a bass. I can go super low,” Bob said as low as he could. “What do you want?” “Well, perhaps you should be a bass. Your voice does have a lot of impact when you go so low.” Bob nodded, accepting his role in being the second bass. As the curtains raised, everypony started cheering at the sight of the Ponytones, only for the crowd to explode upon seeing Bob again. In the crowd, Bob could see Luna and Celestia watching from within, as they both still stood out like sore thumbs. Bob was surprised to see them… “Rarity, a special request for tonight’s performance, please.” Bob said into the mic in front of him. “What is it, Bob?” The alabaster unicorn asked. “It’s Nightmare Night… and guess who’s in the crowd tonight?” Rarity looked forward and immediately saw Luna. “Oh. I see,” she hummed. “I believe we can divert from tonight’s schedule for our special guest, what do you say?” The rest of the Ponytones agreed. “Ladies and gentlecolts, since it is Nightmare Night…” Bob grinned as his fellow vocalists began to sing. Bob himself used his feet on the stage to make up for the lack of a snare drum sound, but sung as though he were a tenor. Luna, in the form of Nightmare Moon, was doing a tippy, tappy dance as she listened along while Celestia simply stood, in a banana costume, serenely smiling. The rest of the opening show for Nightmare Night went out without a hassle. The crowd especially loved Bob’s role as the bass when combined with the efforts of Bic Mac; there was so much more impact in their octaves now. As soon as the show was over, Bob found himself pinned to the ground, with a big, dark blue alicorn nuzzling and nosing and planting kisses all over him. Zippy and Rainbow Dash, who were in the crowd watched on in slight jealousy; if they tried what the ex-Princess of the Night was doing, they would get dragged off stage even though everypony knows that they’re married to Bob. Despite everything, Bob chose to keep his relationship with Luna completely platonic, and Luna was all too happy to follow said relationship; he did consider her a sister, and that was something the alicorn could be happy with. “Bob! It is good to see you again!” “Lulu!” Bob laughed as he tried to fruitlessly evade the ticklish, pony tongue that was licking every inch of his face. Truly, tonight, the fun will be doubled with the ex-Royal Pony Sisters back in Ponyville for tonight. Several days later, Bob, Rainbow, and Zippy were sitting on a couch together, watching something Bob had managed to save to his laptop on an escapade to the Mirror World. It was… Star Wars. It was something that Rainbow Dash immediately loved, and Zippy enjoyed it. They had long ago bought a house, since Twilight now had to live in Canterlot, on the ground. Rainbow was a bit upset until she figured out how to sneak clouds into their mattresses. The mares’ bellies were a bit round, since they had tried and tried… and soon, in about a year from now, there would be two foals running around the house.  “No!” Rainbow yelled as Luke lost his hand. Bob couldn’t help but chuckle; he went from some random kid out in the woods, to a very, very popular musician. Now, if his wives desired, they wouldn’t have to work a day in their lives. Rainbow was still captain of the Wonderbolts, even if she was on maternity leave(flying while pregnant is surprisingly bad for your baby in the long run), and Zippy had opted to become a teacher at a local school house specifically for any unicorns in Ponyville. Rainbow, despite not physically being older, thanks to the Element she was tied to, she still definitely felt older. Her manestyle now matched the ex-captain, Spitfire. Zippy… Oh, she grew. She grew alright. Now, she almost looks like an alicorn and could easily become a model if she wanted to. Long, slender legs, and her yellow coat had turned into a more golden color over the years. She looked very elegant. Her tail was draped over Bob, as it was her turn to use him as a cushion tonight. He simply sat with a smile as they ran through yet another marathon of movies and shows from the human world that Bob had managed to save, Now, the only thing that would make his life better… was snuggling up with Twilight. A small grin grew on his face as he began to mentally devise a plan to sneak into Canterlot Castle, again, and surprise his elder sister, who had grown to look a lot like her mentor, before she had time to wake up and question what was happening. Upon being told the plan, Zippy and Rainbow Dash were all for it, and they had gone to gather the rest of Twilight’s friends; it was time that they pay their good friend a visit after all. Life was good. Life was going good, and Bob simply couldn’t complain. He followed his pony friends onto the train, before casting a slight glare at Starlight(he was told of what Twilight had seen during their fight, and still hadn’t fully forgiven her for that), and took a seat on the train. “God, Zippy, I said I can’t carry you everywhere. You’re not the cute little filly you were when we first met.” “You’re implying I’m fat… how cruel of you.” She side-eyed Rainbow, who met it with a mischievous grin. “How dare you call her fat!” The cyan mare joined in on ganging up on their human. Bob just shook his head and let it happen. He may be the only man in the world, but that won’t stop him from enjoying every moment of it. The memories of his brothers and father were still strong, and he kept pushing on in life for them. Maybe one day, he can at least see them on the other side. The human leaned his head back, after being thoroughly ‘berated’ by his wives, to nap through the incoming train ride.