//------------------------------// // Why did you decide to become fashionable? // Story: I'm fashionable, Rarity! // by Udahyas //------------------------------// "There's a bag of bats on the shelf so you can buy your own food. Spike and I will arrive in three days in the evening. Behave yourself, don't burn down the house and don't burn down the trees anymore!" That's exactly what Twilight said three days ago before she left me alone. After the Applejack tree caught fire, which I had absolutely nothing to do with, they decided to leave me alone at home, without nannies. That's it, growing up. Sighing happily, I leaned back on the sofa. Where is he from here? Well, I took some of the money I got from Twilight and some of the money I got for the black markers. Now, in the basement, there is a red sofa next to my bed. Of course, without pillows. I still need money for food! Anyway, this is a super cool purchase. Now I can sit on the bed for the first half of the day, then exercise in the form of moving from the bed to the sofa and eventually spend the afternoon on the couch. That's what I understand, life. The main thing is not to think about how I was able to bring a sofa to my basement. It's a secret. I had not had time to fully enjoy my happiness when there was a cautious, I would even say elegant knock on the door upstairs. Oh no, not her. No, it's definitely a different pony. Like, uh, Pinkie Pie? Yes, that's absolutely right! Pinkie came to treat me to a free cupcake. Free is the key word. Destroying all my hopes, an elegant female voice was heard on the other side of the door: "Axe? Are you here? I need to check your wardrobe!" I wonder if there is any sound insulation at all? Like, I can hear her being in the basement! I quickly shook my head and tiptoed to the basement window. Probably, this interaction will cause embarrassment to an ignorant person. Well, I don't blame you. I also find it strange that when I asked Rarity to make me fashionable, everything turned into a daily check of my wardrobe. Yeah. When I got to the window, I raised my arms and tried to pull myself up. He even started moving his feet along the wall as if he were running along it. But here's the problem. I've never pulled up in my life. And, well, maybe I put on a little weight because I've been eating only cakes and fast food for the last few days. I have no regrets, I did the same as any normal person. When my fingers started to hurt, I got down and put my hands on my hips, thinking what to do. Maybe, uh, well, ask for help from Redheart? Like, it always works, flawlessly. Oh, wait, there are no phones in Equestria. And to get to Redheart I need to get out of here. Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. Okay, okay, new plan! I go upstairs, open books on magic, become a super cool magician and teleport straight to the Ponyville Hospital. An elementary solution! I turned around cheerfully, wanting to get started as soon as possible, but froze. Rarity stood at the top of the stairs and looked around the room with displeasure. I don't know what she doesn't like. All the clothes are hanging on the furniture, there is nothing on the floor! Except for a pair of socks, but it doesn't matter at all. Maybe she doesn't like the fact that cupcake bags and pizza boxes are used as pillows on the couch. Speaking of pizza, ponies have an extremely small selection in this dish. Or cheese pizza or Hawaiian, without meat of course. Well, I'm not Hawaiian, so the choice is obvious. Although I don't look like cheese either. But as the sage said: "You are what you eat." Then what do I have to stay myself? While my mind was occupied with an extremely important topic, Rarity came down the stairs a little lower and said with suppressed disgust: "Oh my goodness, what a mess you've got here! How do you even live here? The dust has not been removed, the remains of junk food and, most offensively, clothes! To be honest, I'm offended that you feel this way about the clothes I made for you! " For a moment, I even wanted to look down. Rarity's attitude reminds me too much of my mother. Maybe even me. . . Did I miss being scolded for messing up? Did I miss this kind of care? . . . Oh, no, I didn't miss it. Not a drop at all. Life in Equestria rules! With newfound confidence, I put my fingers to my temples, did not get lost as much as possible, and parried all Rarity's statements with one super-strong phrase. I took a deep breath and asked: "So what?" The force of my ultimatum stunned Rarity, causing her to even slightly open her mouth and start making indistinct sounds. Here is my chance! Grabbing my T-shirt from the floor, I quickly rushed up the stairs, past the unicorn and at the same time put on my clothes. The most important thing is not to forget that it is winter outside. And for ponies here, this time of year is always accompanied by a good layer of snow. Although in my authoritative opinion, any snow is already bad. Oh, you get it, I'm afraid that if I'm forced to go to a local school, the snow won't be a reason to cancel classes! When my chest started to hurt a little, I clenched my teeth. Come on, I didn't even run to the end of the stairs! I couldn't get that fat in three days! Uh, maybe I really need to get into sports soon. Yes, that's what I'll do. I'll ask Rainbow Dash to help me. Okay, Alex, get it together! Shaking my head as I ran, I finally put on my T-shirt and reached the exit door and grabbed my blue jacket. Unfortunately, I heard a question, or rather a gentle demand from Rarity: "Axe, how about wearing something else? You've only been wearing this jacket for the last two months. If you want to be fashionable, then you need to dress in a variety of ways!" So, I urgently need to come up with a new ultimatum. Considering how much energy I have accumulated and considering my extremely high intelligence, it should be simple. Super simple. Rhetoric [Impossible: Success] I held up my finger like a wise man and closed my eyes before starting my great speech: "Actually, the variety of clothes can be perceived as not stable, and therefore windy. But I think we can both agree that a real gentle. . . colt? It doesn't matter. A real male representative should be stable and, accordingly, create an ideal style. Therefore, I can confidently say that I am already fashionable due to stability. I'm fashionable, Rarity!" Fortunately, my words made Rarity look at the ceiling for a moment, as if she was considering my words. Or the sheer force of my words stunned her. Anyway, great, because I didn't understand what I said at all. I quickly threw on my jacket and immediately ran out of the house, without even closing the door behind me. Wait. I couldn't forget the shoes, could I? No, he couldn't. I haven't taken off my shoes at all for the last three days. Of course, it was a well-thought-out plan to always be ready to escape from Rarity. It definitely wasn't my laziness. Just in case, I looked at my feet and sighed with gratitude to all the gods. My shoes are still on my feet. By the way, an interesting fact about ponies. I don't know why, but they really don't like it when I enter the room in shoes. Is that what Asians do? Well, I hope that not a single Fat Man and not a single Little Boy will fall on any pony. Shaking my head, I continued to run, but the pain in my chest made me slow down. Soon I ran into an alley and pressed myself against the wall before saying with my eyes closed, "Oh, my God. Oh, uh. Why did I even ask Rarity to make me fashionable? Oh, s. . ." Suddenly I felt a warm and hairy thing on my lips. No, not her. Anyone but Pinkie Pie! Times have changed, now I don't want her around! I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Unfortunately, it was really Pinkie Pie. Noticing my attention, she said seriously: "Don't swear, today is an important day for you. And your phrase about Fat Man and Little Boy was right on the edge. " This is the third time this has happened, by the way. And I still don't understand the principle by which a certain day is chosen as a special one. Taking a deep breath, I looked towards the alley and asked: "That means I'm not allowed to swear again, right?" "Yeah. But you should be flattered that you turned out to be funny enough to get three whole special days!" Pinkie Pie replied cheerfully, starting to bounce slightly. Wait. . . "Funny enough? I mean, if I'm not funny today, then there won't be any more special days and I'll be able to swear in peace? " I asked with hope in my voice. " Well, yes, that's about how it works, I suppose. But you don't want that, do you? Pinkie Pie asked almost pleadingly. As if she really wants me to have more of these so-called special days. What for? Unclear. I don't need these special days at all. No, Pinkie, it's time to be serious. Absolute Severity mode: Activated. At the same time, I strained my entire body, including, of course, my face. You need to use all your unimaginable power to hold back the flow of humor. I squinted and pushed my lips forward while sweat was pouring off me from exertion. And it's winter today, so that's it. Well, I'm sure it won't have any effect. I was startled out of my thoughts by Rarity's sudden voice from above: "Oh, Axe, I found you! It's good that my boutique is nearby and I can make new really fashionable clothes for you!" Without betraying my embarrassment, I looked up and saw Rarity. Who was lying on her red sofa that was somehow floating in the air. I tensed up and asked, trying to be as rational as possible: "Why are the sofa and you in the air? It violates the laws of physics!" It's not that I'm good at physics. "Physics?" Pinkie Pie asked awkwardly from my side. "Physics?" Rarity asked with exactly the same embarrassment, looking at me from the height of her flying sofa. So, I know that ponies don't have the words "cringe", "scam" and more. But it turns out they also don't have the science that scares me the most in the world? That's great. For a moment, my face tried to twist into a smile, but I suppressed it and asked shaking my head: "In short, how do you fly on the couch?" "With magic." Rarity replied as if it was obvious. Not that she was completely wrong. I need to rephrase it somehow. Do not get lost as much as possible x2. "With what kind of magic?" "Levitation. The most basic magic." "And you lift the sofa with you with the help of 'elementary' magic." "Yeah." "But why?" "I didn't want to get my hooves dirty too much while I was looking for you." Rarity replied without a single hint of embarrassment. I probably shouldn't be surprised. Like, I've been living in Equestria for a few months now! It's time to get used to it! I relaxed my muscles and muttered while rubbing my jaw, "Oh, this is much harder to do than I always thought. It looks like I'm not going to be sigma." "And no matter how late it is, you're too late, Axe." Pinkie replied with a disapproving shake of her head. Of course, I'm late, I haven't had an internet connection for several months! Oh no. If I ever come back, everything will be completely different! The Internet will change, technology will change, trends will change! What if Half Life 3 comes out, but I won't play it because I won't have time to save money to upgrade my computer!? "Although no, this is absolutely fantastic. Counting to three is very difficult. I muttered briefly before remembering Pinkie's words. " And I'm not a deodorant! My name is Alex! " I said, raising my voice slightly. How did Pinkie react to this? What is Pinkie's reaction? Shaking my head, I looked up at Rarity again and asked: "Can you, I don't know, come down here?" "Why? You don't want me to get my hooves dirty in this dirty alley, do you?" Rarity asked in embarrassment with a hint of insult in her voice. Or it's just that for some unknown reason she went outside without clothes, which is clearly not her style. Remember, Alex, you have to be serious. After a short silence, I replied with an emotionless expression on my face: "If I look up for so long, my neck will hurt." "Then you just don't have to look me in the eye. After all, we're having a conversation right now, obviously not a serious one. " Rarity replied before sprawling impressively on her flying sofa. " And it should never become that way! " Pinkie Pie added by jumping up merrily. Uh, okay, I'm tired. Absolute Severity mode: deactivated. I sighed, put my sweaty hands in my pockets and asked, "Well, um, can you please not turn my wardrobe from top to bottom? At the very least, I'm sure you have your own things to do." "Actually, no, there were a lot of orders for dresses last month and I can afford a little vacation. It's good that you wanted to become fashionable! I would have gone crazy from lack of occupation if it wasn't for you, Alex!" First of all, wow, pony pronounced my name correctly. Secondly, now it's kind of awkward to try to get Rarity to leave me alone. Now I still have to find something for her to do so that she doesn't go crazy. I took a small step towards the exit of the alley and asked: "Can't you, you know, cancel your vacation? If he creates such difficulties for you, then it's better to give up, isn't it?" Rarity's short laugh rang out from above before she took a couple of deep breaths and said, "Oh, Alex, it's obvious that you don't understand anything about my business. You can't just cancel your vacation!" I'm not sure if it really works that way. So I can only ask you one question. Do we believe? Before I could answer my own question, my eyes noticed a large shadow. It's probably just that Rarity decided to fly a little further. I nodded slightly to myself, but I looked up anyway. And I saw Pinkie Pie clinging to Rarity's flying sofa with her hooves. Huh? "Pinkie Pie, what are you doing!?" Rarity asked with a hint of fright in her voice. "I want to sit on the couch too! It's snowing outside, my hooves are frozen." Pinkie replied for dramatic effect, throwing her hind hoof on the couch. What's the drama here? Well, from my angle, you can see that her hooves are smeared with something blue, like, I do not know, blue glaze? What a cool way to show frostbite. It's mine now! Pinkie screamed when she suddenly fell off the couch straight to the ground, making a hole in the snowdrift in the shape of a pony. Just in case, I bent down to the snowdrift and saw inside how Pinkie was sitting on an ice chair and eating a snow cake with snowmen. Uh, Pinkie is just a Pinkie, I suppose? Shaking my head, I looked up at Rarity again and she said defensively: “What? Do you have any idea how hard it is to wash such a sofa from the glaze!? " " Well, don't! I have snow friends now, a snow chair and a snow cake! " Replied Pinkie Pie from her snowdrift. "Wait, you have an ice chair. I pointed out, leaning towards the hole in the snowdrift. Well, yes, Pinkie Pie is still sitting on the ice chair. " Axe, don't spoil the moment. " Pinkie said with displeasure before seriously taking a bite of the snow cake. Uh, it doesn't matter. If I don't swear, Pinkie won't bother me. Now me and Rarity. Well, there's also Radhart, but first we need to get to the hospital. But fast travel is too corny. Hmm. Sighing, I frowned, trying to formulate my brilliant plan as always. After a few seconds, I looked up and asked: "Rarity, can I climb on your couch? I don't have any glaze anywhere." In response, she looked at me with one eyebrow raised before answering: "I would love to, but your shoes are so dirty. Do you ever change it at all? " " Can at least one pony make me a new one? " " Touch. " " So will you let me on the couch? " " Mm, nope. " Rarity replied with some playfulness in her voice. It's clear. Someone wants to laugh at any price. But for free. It's not like I've given up on something like that. I quickly shook my head and awkwardly said, pointing with both hands towards Ponyville Hospital, "Anyway, can we go there, please? Very necessary." "Why? We still need to go to the boutique so that I can make you fashionable!" Rarity asked, tilting her head to the side. Uh, that's not what I wanted. Yes, I didn't think it through! I was just hoping that Rarity would agree. Well, uh, uh. Oh yes, running! Problems cannot catch up with the owner of fast legs! Without saying anything, I quickly ran forward, which Rarity noticed quickly enough. Suddenly, something stopped my right leg and I rose into the air upside down. Apparently, problems can still catch up with the owner of fast legs. When I realized that I was being lifted even higher into the air, my gaze stopped following the ground and shifted to Rarity. She was holding both me and the sofa she was sitting on in the air at the same time. I thought she was just a seamstress! Twilight was supposed to do such tricks with me, but definitely not her! "Axe, I don't understand. You asked me to make you fashionable. But at the same time, today you are only running away! What happened?" Rarity asked with embarrassment. Uh, in the current position. I'll have to tell the truth. Uff. "Well, I kind of don't like that you're constantly checking my wardrobe. And for some reason you constantly measure my size, very carefully. I replied with my arms crossed, despite the fact that I was hanging upside down. "Well, you know... You eat so much and move so little that your waist size changes every day." "HEY!" Rarity briefly chuckled before continuing a little more seriously: "And anyway, if you wanted to become fashionable, you had to be ready for difficulties. I am sure that the goal for which you want to become fashionable fully justifies the effort. " " Yeeeeah, probably. " I answered awkwardly, putting my hand on the back of my head. " By the way, I don't remember you telling me why you want to become fashionable. Why? " Rarity asked curiously, making me freeze. Oh no. Oh, my God. I put my hand on my forehead and said, feigning suffering: "Uh, something hurts my head. Probably because I'm being held upside down. I don't even know who did it! " " Oh, yeah, that's right. " Rarity smiled awkwardly before loosening her magical grip and gently putting me on the ground As an apology, she even took out a handkerchief from somewhere and briefly wiped my forehead. " So why did you decide to become fashionable? " Rarity asked, returning the handkerchief to herself. Oh, it's better for her not to know. I rubbed the back of my head slightly in an attempt to come up with a solution and finally asked: "Can we go to your boutique first? It's kind of cold in here." "Well, okay. Anyway, I wanted to take you there, and he's right behind you. Rarity pointed out, pointing a hoof behind me. Hmm? I quickly turned around and squeezed my eyes shut feeling the pain. After a moment of stupor, I took a step back and looked up. Rarity wasn't lying, the boutique was really behind my back. And when I turned around, the boutique was right in front of my nose. I was not warned about this. Hmm, today fast travel works even without head knocks. How convenient. I rubbed my face lightly with my hand and pulled the door open. Closed. Hold on. . . "In all of Ponyville, not a single door is closed. Except yours! How does it even work? On what basis do you have such privileges?" I asked, extremely embarrassed and even annoyed. If Twilight's house had locks, I could just shut myself off from Rarity. And all the other problems. "Um, Axe, do you know that some doors have to be pushed to open?" Rarity asked, slightly covering her mouth with her hoof to hide her smirk. Oh . . . I blushed slightly before pushing the door forward and saying when I took a step inside: "I knew it. I just needed to make sure you knew that." "Yes, I was one step away from forgetting that my door needed to be pushed. Rarity replied sarcastically, still staying on her couch. Um, is she even going to go inside the boutique? Well, if she doesn't come in, then, in principle, I can just settle here. Unfortunately, Rarity got up on her couch and started wagging her tail almost like a cat. Assuming the worst, I took a step aside. Although it's just paranoia. I'm sure she's not going to jump. Of course, Rarity can sometimes be fixated on cleanliness, but not to this extent. Suddenly, I saw a white figure streak through the air through the doorway and begin to brake on the floor with its hooves. For a moment, I even thought she was striking a spark, but haha, that can't be. Can't it really? Fortunately, Rarity was able to stop just an inch from the wall where there was a large shelf. There was a white cat lying on this shelf, which was clearly surprised by what had happened. Her name is Opalescence, isn't it? Uh, it doesn't matter if I call it a cat. The cat eventually recovered and, inexplicably, took out a small sign with the number three minus on it. In response, Rarity just snorted and said, shaking herself off, "Well, you know, Opalescence, you're not the most graceful animal either. With your size." In response, the cat suddenly hissed and waved a paw at Rarity, as if trying to scratch her. Or call for a fight? I've been thinking, maybe I should just leave. If Rarity hesitates for a long time, then I can run to Twilight's house and make barricades. Like, after thinking very deeply, I realized that I didn't really care how Rarity would deal with her boredom during her vacation. Well, for the sake of decency, we can say that Radhart has no dresses at all and she needs at least four. How did I get information about her wardrobe? No one said I knew anything. "So, why did you decide to become fashionable?" Rarity asked slangka, straightening her mane with a comb. When did she get it? I shook my head and was silent for a while, thinking over my incredible plan. In the end, I slowly raised my hand, pointing to one of the cupboards and offered: "Maybe I'll answer your question while you're, well, looking for supplies? After all, you were going to sew me, uh, what to sew?" "A new fashionable wardrobe!" Rarity replied, with some excitement. For a moment, I even thought she jumped a little. Well, there's a question here. I raised an eyebrow questioningly and asked: "Couldn't you have made fashionable clothes for me from the very beginning?" "Well, when you first got here, I perceived you as a little child who would constantly dirty clothes in all possible and impossible ways." Rarity began awkwardly, but was interrupted. "It's a shame actually. Considering I'm fifteen." I replied by crossing my arms and snorting slackly. "Um, anyway. Therefore, I made for you the most practical clothes that do not restrict movement. But when you asked me to make you fashionable a couple of days ago, I realized that you had grown up a little. And the old, children's wardrobe doesn't suit you anymore!" Rarity finished with a smile on her face. Growing up = responsibility. Responsibility = living on your own. Living on your own = making a lot of money. Earn a lot of money = work. Work = fear. Conclusion: no growing up today. And preferably never. I nodded to myself mentally and forced a smile before saying, "Okay, well, take all the necessary items and I'll get ready here." In response, Rarity actively nodded and headed somewhere deep into her boutique. Okay, we have a couple of minutes. Sighing, I began to take off my jacket, while thinking over the details of my plan. The fact is that Rarity has already seen my "perfect" physique a couple of times, it won't scare her. So I'll have to use my strongest skill. Rhetoric. I'm still as eloquent as, uh, uh. I do not know people who are at least as eloquent as I am! A plan? Say something stunning and run. Yes, running is my favorite tactic in absolutely any situation. Now, you just have to figure out what to say. Well, since I still need to take off my jacket and T-shirt to take measurements, I could... "Don't even think about it, Axe! The rating will not allow it!" Pinkie interrupted me by suddenly jumping out of a pot with a plant. Hey, I wasn't thinking about anything so scary. I just thought I could make a cool figure out of my clothes to stun Rarity. Although, no, she's unlikely to appreciate it. Shaking my head, I just continued to take off my clothes, while periodically glancing in the direction where Rarity had gone. So, what could really shock her? That's right, something about fashion. Hmm The frame is made. Now I just need someone to talk to. I nodded slightly to myself and clutched my clothes to my chest so as not to freeze completely while I ran home. As if sensing my readiness, Rarity came out to me with a lot of accessories in her magical grip and even glasses on her face. Noticing that my body was covered by the clothes in my hands, she frowned slightly in response to which I began to say, "You know, Rarity, I've learned something about fashion." Without giving her time, I continued: "Fashion is a set of tests accepted at a certain time in a certain society. Is it logical? " Frowning, Rarity nodded slightly, in response to which I continued: " I noticed an interesting detail, ponies almost always go without clothes. That is, it is the most popular and accepted view in public. You can say the most fashionable. " Rarity was taken aback by this and even removed several items from her magical grip. Wow, that was fast. I briefly chuckled to myself and backed towards the exit before saying, "Therefore, in order to become fashionable, I have to wear as few clothes as possible. And in order not to tempt myself, I shouldn't see you. In general, never! Or at least not see each other for the next few days!" This is the moment when I run away. I tried to open the door with a sharp kick, but received only pain in response. Oh, that's right. If you need to push the door from the outside to open it, then you need to pull it on yourself here. I quickly pulled the door open and took one last look at Rarity. She just stood there with her eyes closed, as if she was suspended. Well, it doesn't matter. I ran out the open door and jumped over Rarity's couch, which was still standing right in front of the entrance. I can't hear any sounds behind me, great. What is not great is my whole body, which was very actively freezing. Of course, I could try to get dressed on the go. But I don't want to risk falling! No, don't think about it, I'm not afraid of pain. I'm not afraid of anything except work! I just don't want to risk falling and damaging my beautiful face. Mentally nodding to myself, I continued to run, trying to ignore the confused glances of the ponies passing by. Like, most of them put on at least a scarf. And I'm running down the street with my upper body naked. Well, you can immediately see who is the most adequate here. Me, of course. I chuckled a little before feeling the pain in my muscles and many other places. But fortunately, my stamina was enough to get almost point-blank to the door to Twilight's house. I briefly looked at the sky. It's not evening yet, Twilight hasn't returned home. Great. I quickly ran inside and into my basement. Why? Well, because I don't want Twilight trying to knock me out of the shelter along with Rarity. So I'll just hide in my basement. I've got a couple of slices of pizza left over there. Yeah, great, I can hold on to a couple of slices of pizza forever. Well, for me, eternity is the duration of one lesson at school. Shaking my head, I went down to the bottom of the basement and quickly pushed one of the parts of the sofa. It is slightly detached from the sofa as if it were an armchair. Well, because it's a real chair. I bought some armchairs and put them next to each other to make a sofa. And so that when I want to play on the floor it's lava. "Focus, focus!" I hissed, taking the chair with both hands and clenching my teeth. Heavily. . . Heavily. . . After taking a few heavy breaths, I moved the chair to the door and put it so that the handle would not open. How reliable is it? Well, I hope Rarity is just too polite to take a rude approach. Anyway, I have at least a couple of minutes of rest now. Uh, it's time to relax. I deserve it. Sighing, I collapsed onto what was left of the sofa and threw my head back. Suddenly, a sneeze burst out of my throat, along with snot from my nose. Officially, I'm sick. For a while, irritation accumulated in me before I hit the armrest with my fist and said, "Da. . ." There's a warm feeling on my lips again. Restraining my irritation, I looked at Pinkie, who was covering my mouth with one hoof and eating my cheese pizza with the other. The word shame seems to be unknown to her. Not that I know the word well, but anyway! Sighing, I tried to calm down and asked: "Is the so-called special day going to end soon?" Pinkie looked a little upset, but she replied cheerfully anyway: "Yeah! Literally eight paragraphs later!" A paragraph? What? Uh, it doesn't matter. It's Pinkie. I just looked up at the ceiling and sneezed again. Pinkie seemed to ignore this and asked curiously, "So, why did you want to become fashionable? It doesn't look like anything in your style." I glanced at Pinkie briefly before asking, blushing slightly: "Do you promise not to tell anyone? Just please don't say your long sentence. Just say what you promise. " For a moment, Pinkie looked confused before saying with difficulty, " Just a promise. " I looked up and said with a sigh, " I forgot. " " What!? " Pinkie asked in surprise, standing on the sofa on all fours. " Yeah, I forgot why I wanted to become fashionable," I replied with another nod. No one will ever know the reason.