//------------------------------// // Interlude: How to Care for Your Candleberry Canine // Story: An Idiot Trio vs Equestria // by Beast Out //------------------------------// Interlude: How to Care for Your Candleberry Canine Gale Typhoon glared at the three teenagers in front of her, all with expressions of varying levels of guilt on their faces. The elderly griffon pinched the bridge of her beak. “Alright, what’ve you brats done this time?” The room was an absolute mess. There was a rune circle scratched into the wooden floorboards and there was tree sap and leaves splattered all over the walls and floor. “Magic practice.” Dartz answered matter of factly, clutching a thick book in his forelimbs. “Magic practice.” She parroted. “ Is that why a wooden dog is trying to chew your tail off?” True to Gale’s words, a timberwolf the size of a puppy was gnawing on the hair of Dartz’ tail. Kindle picked up the timberpuppy and began scratching its ears with a smile. “His name is Birch. Isn’t he cute?” The timberpup blepped at her. ‘Ah shit, they’ve already named it.’ “You better have a damn good explanation as to why you thought this was a good idea.” She then turned her glare to Archer, who’d been quiet this whole time, as if she wouldn't notice! “And why didn't you stop them?!” Archer threw his talons up in surrender. “Hey, I did stop them! They’d have pulled this crap no matter what, but if I didn't get involved they would've tried to make a boulder golem!” Gale didn't know what the hell a boulder golem was, but if this scenario was a headache, that sounded like a damn aneurysm. “Have I ever told you kids that you've brought my life the most excitement it's had in years?” “You're welcome.” Dartz replied with his typical shit eating grin. The old bird scoffed and gave him a noogie. “I wasn't thanking you. Ya little shit.” The Kindle and Archer snorted. “Alright, look. You three clean this up and figure out how to take care of that thing yourselves. I'm gonna take a nap.” She promptly left them to their own devices (probably a bad idea). Kindle turned to Dartz. “Aight, gimme the book.”  The changeling complied and placed Birch on his back while Kindle began to read. Ground Mover’s Guide to Golems and Other Geomancy Generated Mobile Constructs Chapter 3: Timberwolves Timberwolves are one of very few quote un quote “species” of golems that occur entirely naturally. Other golems that fall under this category include Sand Sharks, Water Serpents and Frost Vixens. (Fun fact: Windigos were briefly considered to be made part of this category, but due to their completely incorporeal state of being, this never came to pass). Timberwolves are most often found in the Everfree Forest and are extremely rare to see in the wild outside of said location. This is because Everfree is one of the few places in Equestria saturated with enough wild magic to play host to the unique way that they and other naturally occurring golems manifest. The Timberwolf life cycle begins with the formation of its magicore. These cores are formed when large clumps of hardened tree sap begin to absorb the abundant magic in the area because of this, it is not uncommon for adult Timberwolves to carve deep gashes into trees to keep their numbers afloat. After a period of 2-3 months, the new magicore will attract sticks, leaves and various other forms of foliage towards it until its gathered at least 2 lbs worth. At this point, the magicore’s magic will saturate the collected plant matter and fashion it into the shape of a wolf, about the size of the average puppy. Once this process is complete, the magicore acts as the creature’s “brain”. After being “born” the Timberpup will instinctively seek out others of its ilk. In the case that it was formed from a tree deliberately carved by adults of its kind it won’t have to search long. Much like real wolves, the pup will learn to hunt from its parents. They aren’t very picky and will consume any animal they clamp their teeth around, but they’ve also been seen eating plants, rotting leaves, fruit and even dirt. They consume plants simply to increase their own size and mass, but for a long time it was unknown why they ate animals, as they don’t have the sort of digestive system a flesh and blood creature has, leading to the consumed prey just sitting in it’s stomach cavity and rotting, leading to the Timberwolves notorious terrible breath. In the old days, this led to the conclusion that Timberwolves were simply evil, killing and consuming for the sake of it. Since then, modern research on plants, animals and the decomposition of living things, as well as the creatures themselves, we now know that Timberwolves have roots inside their stomach cavities, their consumption of dirt, plants and animals creating a compost heap stored inside their bodies to help give nutrients to the still living plant material that makes up their bodies.  A Timberwolf’s life typically ends when its magicore shatters, but not always. For you see, when a Timberwolf’s magicore is broken, a green “wisp” of sorts emerges from the remains. This wisp is all the magic that was stored in the core. This wisp will attempt to find the nearest clump of tree sap it can and inhabit it. If successful, it will be able to form a new body with all its memories intact. But failure in this endeavor is not uncommon, in which case, the wisp will dissipate. The length of time these wisp can last without a core varies, but the record so far is 40 minutes. Timberwolves typically hunt in packs of 4-6 and prefer to stay hidden while surrounding their prey, only revealing themselves when they’re sure their target has no method of escape. Timberwolves are often prone to being smashed apart, but so long as there is no damage to their core, they can reassemble themselves very easily. Such resilience is essential when up against bears and maticores, the Timberwolf’s main competition for food. A particularly close knit pack can use this ability to assemble and disassemble themselves in order to combine their total mass and form the gigantic Timberwolf King, a massive golem that can be as tall as a two story house. In domestic cases, Timberwolves usually play the same roles as the average dog but are sometimes used as beasts of burden because of their strength and size. Though the wording would mislead you into thinking domesticated Timberwolves are common, that is not the case. Wild Timberwolves are nearly impossible to tame, with only two recorded cases of such a thing occurring. If you want a Timberwolf for a pet, you’ll have to construct it yourself. Such an endeavor is simple to accomplish (see instructions for Timberwolf construction in chapter 15: Golem Construction on page 156), but due to still lingering stigmas against them, and the fact that even mage made Timberwolves start out as pups, it isn’t done often. In any case, when taking care of a Timberwolf,  it might seem complicated when you realize that you’re catering to the needs of both plant and animal. Luckily, the needs of an animal and a plant have enough overlap to make it simpler than you’d think. This includes ensuring it's properly fed and watered, making sure it doesn't catch any unwanted parasites, grooming (or in this case, pruning) and making sure it gets enough time in the sun. have quite a bit of overlap, including food, water and time outside in the sun. Unlike all other predators, Timberwolves can survive on a meatless diet, so the cheapest recommended way to feed one is a combination of fruit and fertilizer to avoid living with the constant smell of death. They would also require the same sort of training and discipline one would provide a dog.  In summary, Timberwo- “Ah!” Kindle rubbed the spot on her head where Archer had lightly bonked her with a broom handle. Archer simply gave the dragoness a bored glare and a mop. “Clean now, read later.” She rolled her eyes, but got to work nonetheless. “Alright. On the bright side, we can feed all these leaves to Birch.” Dartz stopped scraping sap off the wall to stare at the trio’s new companion before waving a leaf above his nose, the pinocchio pup attempting to chomp on it. “Well guys, I think we have a new best friend.”