At Camp Everfree, the Rainbooms had a showdown with the goats of chaos. Sadly, the confrontation ended with no positive results. After the goats left the camp, the Mane Seven took the time to discuss the four creatures, hoping to gain a better understanding of them.
“Those goats. Don’t they remind you of that video game about playing as a goat?” That was the question Pinkie asked during their discussion.
“What are you talking about?” Sunset responded with another question.
“Check these out.” Pinkie then took out her iphone and spent the next few minutes showing gameplay videos of the Goat Simulator series.
“So, Equestrian magic made goats similar to the ones from Goat Simulator?” Sunset pondered.
“Or maybe, a magical being of chaos brought them into existence so he can amuse himself by watching them give everyone else headaches.” Pinkie thought out loud.
In response to how oddly specific Pinkie was, the other Rainbooms merely raised their eyebrows for a moment.
“All random thoughts aside...” Sunset groaned. “If Goat Simulator is indeed connected to all this, then at least we have something to go on. Once we’re back home, we need to do some research. But first...” She then looked at Camp Everfree, which is in shambles. “I think Gloriosa and Timber are going to need some help.”
The Rainbooms pitched in to fix up Camp Everfree. After doing all they could, they bid farewell to Gloriosa and Timber and returned to Canterlot City.
Right after coming back home, six of the Mane Seven spent the rest of the day committing themselves to research. Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie played Goat Simulator, its DLC expansions, and Goat Simulator 3. Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy researched using the internet. Twilight opted to focus her time and energy on preparing some equipment.
The four goats did not do anything for the next few days, allowing the Rainbooms to spend many more hours doing their research without any worries. Three days after the chaos at Camp Everfree, the Mane Seven gathered again at Twilight’s house for a team meeting. The girls had some drinks and snacks before beginning a lengthy discussion about their research thus far. During the discussion, Rainbow and Pinkie bragged about the trophies they collected and the achievements they completed.
“Life would be so much fun if all research involves playing video games.” Rainbow grinned.
“The developers made an interesting choice to skip over the number 2 and go right to number 3.” Rarity remarked.
“Have any of you found out if the goats have any weaknesses?” Spike asked.
“I’m not sure if anything CAN stop them. They can get hit by a car or get blown away by an explosion, and they’ll just walk it off like it’s nothing.” Pinkie answered.
“Can’t we ask Coffee Stain for advice?” The dog questioned.
“I’m sure they didn’t expect goats to be empowered by Equestrian magic.” Sunset replied.
“It appears the only viable solution we got is to drain their magic.” Twilight chimed in.
“The problem is there are a lot of Mutators and Gears that they can use at any given moment. Unless any of us can see the future, there’s no way of knowing what the goats will use next. When we face them again, our best shot is draining their magic as quickly as possible.” Sunset stated
“Then it’s a good thing I’ve been busy as well. I made more magic-draining gadgets, one for each of us.” Twilight said proudly as she provided a locket-like device to each of her friends.
“More of these should improve our fighting chances against the goats.” Applejack commented.
“Oh, I can’t wait to try this out. I do have a score to settle with the white goat for hurling me far away and headbutting me into a lake.” Rainbow muttered.
“There are names for each of the goats, darling.” Rarity interjected. “The grey goat is Pilgor, the brown goat is Geten, the white goat is Mark, and the black goat is Midnight.”
“To be honest, I didn’t pay attention to their names. But I suppose it’s better than just calling them grey goat, brown goat, white goat, and black goat.” Rainbow replied.
“Also, according to my research, Pilgor and Midnight are female and the other two goats are male.” Rarity added.
“So what next? Are we just going to wait for the goats to return? Fluttershy asked.
“I guess so. After all, trouble always come to us anyway.” Sunset said.
With nothing left to discuss, the team meeting ended. Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie continued playing the Goat Simulator games while the rest of the group watched gameplay videos online. The goats did not appear, and the day went by without any incidents.
The sun had set, and night had fallen. Since the incident at Camp Everfree, things have been uneventful for the Rainbooms, aside from all the research on Goat Simulator.
After 10 PM, most of the people in the city, including the Mane Seven, went to bed. It was supposed to be a peaceful night like any other.
However, four certain creatures don’t require any sleep. Around 12 AM, the four goats returned to Canterlot City, ready to cause more trouble while the Rainbooms were sleeping soundly in their homes.
Somewhere in the city, a man just drove back to his house. He stopped his car and opened the garage remotely. He was about to park his car inside the garage when a white goat suddenly walked in front of his vehicle and blocked his path.
“A goat?! Where did it come from?!” The man was taken by surprise.
He stared at the goat with a bewildered look and waited for it to leave. Mark continued not moving a muscle.
“Come on! Get out of the way already!” The man tried to make Mark move by pressing the car horn.
Without warning, the left front side door was forced open. The man immediately looked to his left and saw a black goat. Before he could say anything, Midnight used her tongue to pull him out of the car and threw him aside. The two goats hopped into the car and drove off with it.
“Stop!!! That’s my car!!!” The man screamed.
After twenty minutes of driving, the goats headed towards a gas station and crashed the car right into it, blowing it up. Both goats were sent flying by the explosion.
Mark was launched to Carousel Boutique while Midnight ended up at a nightclub. All the people in the nightclub were startled when a goat suddenly dropped in through the roof. Midnight lay on the floor for a short time and then got up like nothing happened. The nightclub patrons kept staring at the goat.
“Is it okay?” A woman asked.
Midnight shifted to Devil Goat form and used her demonic powers. The nightclub was filled with terrified screams as the goat telekinetically put people together into the shape of a ball and threw them around.
Elsewhere in Canterlot City, Pilgor and Geten went to a bank. The two walked up to the front glass doors, and Pilgor shattered them with a headbutt. Next, they went straight to the vault. Pilgor transformed into muscular form and dented the vault door with several headbutts. Both goats then latched their tongues on the door and pulled it open.
Outside, the police arrived and formed a perimeter around the bank.
“THIS IS THE POLICE!!! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!!! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND SURRENDER!!!” An officer shouted through a megaphone.
Soon after, Pilgor and Geten trotted out of the bank while carrying bags full of cash in their mouths. The police officers were at a loss for words as they stared at the goats with their mouths hanging open.
“Uh... DROP THE BAGS!!! And... PUT YOUR FRONT HOOVES WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!!!”
A circular metal shield materialized on Pilgor’s back and a sword appeared on top of Geten’s head. Pilgor dropped her bags of cash and used her tongue to hurl her shield. When it knocked down one of the officers, the shield ricocheted and knocked down more officers. Geten’s sword created a burst of light, sending officers and police cars flying. But due to the recoil of the blast, Geten was launched backwards.
The next morning, the Rainbooms saw the news of the previous night’s events and gathered at a café.
“It happened. Our troublesome friends have returned.” Twilight started off the conversation.
“Of all the times for the goats to come back, it had to be when we were all asleep!!!” Rainbow expressed her irritation.
“I can’t believe they blew up a gas station!” Sunset exclaimed. “Good thing no one was there at the time.”
“And why would two of the goats rob a bank?! What could they possibly use the money for?!” Applejack questioned.
“The one thing about the goats, Applejack, is that you can’t apply any logic to them.” Pinkie said.
“That’s rich coming from you.” The apple farmer replied.
Rarity’s phone suddenly received a text. The fashionista quickly took out her phone to check the message.
“It’s from Prim Hemline.” Rarity noticed.
She read the text, and she had a look of fear on her face.
“What’s wrong, Rarity? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Sunset wondered.
“Something terrible has happened to Carousel Boutique!!!” Rarity shrieked.
The Rainbooms arrived at Carousel Boutique as soon as they could, and Rarity was utterly horrified by what she saw. All the dresses she worked on are now in tatters. The security footage revealed Mark to be the culprit.
“Oh no. I know what’s coming next.” Rainbow uttered nervously as she prepared for an outburst from Rarity.
“UNFORGIVABLE!!! SIMPLY UNFORGIVABLE!!! Such crimes against fashion shall not go unanswered!!!” Rarity bellowed in rage with tears streaming down her face.
Meanwhile, a bunch of people were enjoying a nice sunny day at the beach.
Sandalwood was relaxing on a beach chair and calmly gazing at the sea. He later turned his head to the left and spotted something... unusual. He squinted his eyes and saw what appeared to be a shark’s dorsal fin moving around on the sand.
“A shark? On land?” Sandalwood thought to himself.
He rubbed his eyes before looking again to make sure that his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. However, it was clear as day. There was a shark moving through the sand like it was swimming in it. And it was coming closer and closer.
“LAND SHARK!!!!” Sandalwood screamed out in terror.
His scream instantly caught the attention of nearby beachgoers. They spotted the shark and stared with baffled expressions. Then popping out of the sand was a hammerhead shark riding on a skateboard.
The beachgoers flew into a panic, let out very loud screams, and ran from the shark as fast as their legs could carry them.
While the shark was terrorizing the beach, Geten and Pilgor were creating chaos at the movie studio. Geten was driving a pickup truck at high speed with Pilgor riding on the back of the vehicle. Pilgor was also equipped with a device that resembles a railgun.
Geten demolished the movie sets in their path by driving the truck right through them. Pilgor just fired bright purple energy beams randomly without aiming.
Actors and studio staff members alike scattered and leaped out of the truck’s path to avoid getting run over. Unfortunately for some of them, they got hit by the purple beams, which sent them flying.
“WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE?!?!!” Chestnut Magnifico screeched with great exasperation. “CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY THERE ARE GOATS DRIVING A TRUCK?!?!!”
Magnifico was then struck by a wayward energy beam. She screamed as she was sent flying, and she landed on a buffet table somewhere else in the studio.
Geten later drove towards a fuel truck. The two goats jumped off moments before their truck crashed. Geten and Pilgor both walked away from the explosion in slow motion.
After the two goats left, Canter Zoom was aghast to see his movie set in a disastrous state.
“WWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!” The movie director cried out as he dropped to his knees.
Back at Carousel Boutique, Rarity was still having an emotional meltdown when the Rainbooms’ locket devices started beeping. Alarmed, they took out their devices. Each of their lockets displayed a holographic map of Canterlot City, and it showed four blips indicating the goats’ positions. Two of the blips are close together, one is just miles away from the Rainbooms’ current location, and the fourth is a great distance away from the other three.
“Looks like the goats are at it again.” Twilight uttered.
“But this time, they’re not together.” Pinkie added. “Let’s split up.”
“Wait!” Sunset interrupted. “I think... it’s best we all go after the nearest goat together.”
“Are you sure?” Applejack asked. “Focusing all our attention on one goat will also be allowing the other three to run amok.”
“I know. But think about this. Together, we have a good chance of defeating a single goat while it’s alone. If we can beat one goat now, it’ll make dealing with the rest less difficult later on.” Sunset explained.
“Alright. Then we better get a move on.” Applejack accepted Sunset’s reasons.
Deciding to go after the nearest goat together, the Mane Seven made their way towards its location. Upon arriving there, they came across a crowd of screaming people that were running away from whatever was terrifying them. The Rainbooms looked up and saw a flying saucer firing green energy blasts. They also heard Snips and Snails among the crowd.
“A flying saucer is attacking the city!!!” Snips yelled.
“It’s an alien invasion!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!” Snails shouted.
The Rainbooms gazed at the saucer as Snips and Snails ran past them.
“No doubt the goat is piloting that thing.” Rainbow said just before an energy blast landed near the Mane Seven. “We need to bring it down! Any ideas!?”
Rarity materialized her diamond constructs, and Pinkie coated them with explosive sprinkles. The fashionista then launched her constructs at the spaceship. The constructs exploded on impact, causing the saucer to come crashing down.
Emerging out of the downed saucer was Mark, and the Mane Seven were right there to greet him. They wasted no time activating their lockets.
“THIS IS PAYBACK FOR THE TWO TIMES YOU SENT ME FLYING!!!!” Rainbow roared with fury.
“THIS IS FOR ALL THE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES YOU RUINED!!!!” Rarity thundered.
“AND THIS IS FOR OUR SCHOOL!!!!” Twilight followed.
With all seven Rainbooms using their devices at the same time, Mark was losing energy at a rapid rate. However, before they could complete the draining process, multiple white goats were raining down from the sky, taking the Rainbooms by surprise.
“Mark just used the Goat Queen ability! The goats that fell from the sky are distractions!” Pinkie told her friends.
“Wait a minute. Isn’t Mark supposed to be wearing a goat skull mask?” Rainbow pointed out.
“Never mind the technicalities! Don’t let him get away!” Sunset urged.
A megaphone materialized on top of Mark’s head, and he unleashed a sound blast that knocked the Mane Seven off their feet. He then tried to make a run for it but couldn’t run fast enough for a quick escape due to being weakened after losing a large portion of his magic. A flock of birds arrived and impeded Mark by swarming over his face.
Twilight got back on her feet and rushed towards the goat. Using her left hand, Twilight pinned Mark down with telekinesis. With her locket in her other hand, she resumed draining his magic. A strange metal helmet materialized on Mark’s head, and it released a beam that enlarged Twilight’s head. While she was reeling in shock, Mark shapeshifted into an ostrich and made another attempt to flee.
Before Mark could get very far, Rarity launched her diamond projectiles. They hit him on the head and right foot, causing him to stumble. Applejack then threw a vending machine at him, knocking him down to the ground hard. The apple farmer seized Mark by the neck with her lasso, and the other Rainbooms, except Twilight, joined together in draining his magic.
Mark reverted to goat form as he lost the rest of his energy. His body went limp, not having any strength to move a muscle.
“Yes! We did it! We have beaten Mark!” Pinkie jumped up with joy.
“Oh yeah! Score one for the Rainbooms!” Rainbow cheered.
“Um... hello everyone! What about me?!” Twilight got her friends’ attention.
“So Twilight, have you gotten... smarter?” Rainbow snickered before bursting out with hysterical laughter.
“Har Har. Very funny.” Twilight grumbled with annoyance.
Her head then returned to normal.
“Oh thank goodness the effect wasn’t permanent.” Twilight expressed great relief.
“Awww, I wish I had taken a picture.” Rainbow facepalmed.
“Anyway, what should we do with this ruffian?” Rarity wondered about the fallen goat.
As the Mane Seven were contemplating on what to do with Mark, his body started to fade away.
“Hey... what’s happening to him?” Fluttershy said softly while the other Rainbooms stared in shock and silence.
Very soon, the goat’s body vanished completely.
“Apparently, the goat was never a real living being. He was just a magical construct.” Pinkie said.
“This means... Our goat friends weren’t originally ordinary goats given power by Equestrian magic.” Sunset realized.
“I still say they were created by a powerful being of chaos.” Pinkie remarked, but the other Rainbooms just ignored her.
“Regardless, this isn’t over until we beat the remaining three goats.” Twilight spoke up.
The Mane Seven checked their lockets for the other goats, but their devices are not currently pinpointing their locations.
“Seems like they decided to call it a day.” Rainbow said.
“Don’t worry. We’ll find another chance to get those goats.” Sunset assured.
On this day, the Mane Seven got themselves a win. Even though there’re still work to be done, at least the Rainbooms can go home knowing that the goats are not unbeatable.
In the alternate dimension inhabited by a certain Lord of Chaos, the draconequus named Discord had watched every goat-related event that transpired in the human world through the TV in his house. He saw Mark’s defeat, but he wasn’t fazed in the slightest.
“Oh fine. You seven can have this victory. Besides, three goats are still more than enough to create quality chaos.” The draconequus said with a smile.