//------------------------------// // Bonus Chapter: Totally Just Bob and Luna cuddling, chatting, and snuggling // Story: Man in a Pony’s World // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// Bob sat down on Luna’s bed while holding a cup of sugar with some coffee in it. He was admittedly tired, but Luna was returning to her more nocturnal sleep schedule. Tonight was the weekly, always on Tuesday Night, where Luna and Bob got together, Bob would groom the Princess, the two would chat, come up with song ideas for the next time the two of them would hold a concert together, and just hang out. “So, how was Night Court this week?” Bob asked. This new tradition was started up once Luna figured(remembered) that she could literally teleport Bob to and from Ponyville in a heartbeat.  So they foregone the whole pen pal bit.  “It was going rather smoothly. Occasionally I would get an impatient noble who didn’t want to wait for hours to get into day court, and I end up tossing them out for being… a ‘prick’ as you would say. But other than that, farmers, some ponies who couldn’t get into day court, and even a fan or two from our first concert together. It’s a rather fun experience, if I must say so. I can sign an autograph, get a picture, and sometimes a rather… detailed note about how much somepony would love to marry and do… things to me.” “As in… you get letters about how people want to have sex with you.” “Some of the letters are asking for your address, since you technically don’t have one; you don’t own a house. I declined giving them Twilight Sparkle’s address, because some of the letters that they would send you would be damn near illegal to send to a minor. On top of that, I doubt that Twilight would enjoy digging through piles of your mail just to get to hers every time mail is delivered, and you wouldn’t want to read a ton of fan mail.” “Mmm. I would argue that I would probably disagree with that. I do get kinda giddy whenever I hear anyone actually liking my music. I don’t think that I’m some outstanding musician, but anyone would be pretty happy if… they painted something and somebody genuinely liked it, and said they genuinely liked it.” “That is fair, at least you do not go around and brag about being a musician. I personally would not hang out with you if you suddenly grew a giant ego after your first show.” “I don’t like bragging. I love showing off new techniques I can do, like this,” Bob hit the lowest note that he could. That made Luna’s eyes widen. “Especially for reactions like that,” Bob chuckled, reaching over to help Luna close her jaw. The Princess pulled back and shook her head. “What?” “Bob, that is the lowest note I have heard out of any creature that can think. It’s rather impressive, but sounds impractical.” “I just use it as a bass sound on the drum machine, or while recording tracks on the laptop I yoinked from the Mirror World.” Bob paused. “I might go back and get a gun of some sort in the future, by the way. While I’m sure I wouldn’t be much help against this year’s big threat, I doubt that unless Discord gets loose again, that whatever this year’s big threat is, would survive getting shot, point blank, in the face with a shotgun.” “...That is a rather violent way of solving an issue, Bob.” Luna sighed. “You humans and violence.” “Hey, if something were to hurt you, Twilight, or Rainbow and Zippy, that something will have approximately thirty seconds before I load up a rifle and empty a magazine into the fucker that dared hurt anyone I love… And I’m not super violent, just mostly violent towards those that wish harm upon me or those I consider family. You,” Bob rubbed Luna’s jaw after sitting down next to her, and pulled her head to his chest. “Are like an older sister, and I absolutely would make sure whatever tried to hurt you wouldn’t be able to try again.” Luna cooed as she leaned into the hand. “Well, if being considered family by you means I get jaw scratches like this,” Luna rubbed her head against Bob’s chest like an oversized cat would. “And unyielding protection? I would be damned to let anypony hurt you Bob. They would likely suffer a fate worse than what Chrysalis did to Zippy’s father after he assaulted you.” “What happened to him anyways?” “The last reports state that his time in the Hive’s dungeons was cut short by a mysterious cause… Zippy’s father is long gone.” “...He got killed and dumped in a river.” “Nopony would miss him. Mrs. Pike, since she is the head of her family now, sent the suggestion to never let her ex husband out. Chrysalis just got tired of hosting a pony and feeding it, when that pony was already barely alive or capable of producing love for her drones to feed off of her.” Luna didn’t even need to say anything for Bob to understand what to do when he started scratching her left shoulder; do it a tiny bit harder. A little to the left. “You know,” Luna hummed. “I did just wake up before teleporting you here; I could use a little brushing.” “...If this is what your ‘bedhead’ looks like, then I’m pretty sure that you look ‘bad’ is the least of your concerns. You look great.” Luna started blushing at that. “Uh…” “At least you didn’t call me fluffy.” “But you are very nice and soft. You smell like roses.” Luna simply gave her human a smile and magicked her favorite brush. The human took the brush in hand, before getting onto his knees, so he could more easily access Luna’s mane. First, however, Bob started with the Princess’s cheeks and snout, which felt surprisingly good, despite them needing next to no brushing at all. Next came the mane, which felt… Dreamy. Very dreamy. Luna had to resist the urge to start swaying her head side to side while humming in delight. Because occasionally, in between strokes, Bob would scratch her ears, or massage said ears in such a manner that would usually knock Princess Celestia out. Even the most masculine of stallions could be put to sleep by the human’s touch. Luna was no pushover, however, but she came damn close to falling back to sleep. “Lulu, are you still with me?” Bob asked. “I need to get under your wings now.” Bob chuckled as the Princess drowsily spread her wings out as requested and Bob continued on his quest to brush his favorite, blue alicorn(upon her ascension, Twilight still wanted to be Bob’s favorite something, so he dubbed her ‘favorite purple alicorn’, and dubbed Luna his favorite ‘blue alicorn’). By the time Bob was done, he was scratching Luna’s inner thighs while she laid on her side like a dog, tongue laying out the side of her mouth in pure euphoria. “I think I went a little far,” Bob chuckled as he pulled Luna onto his lap and planted a kiss on her forehead. “I love ya bud.” The human leaned back against the bed frame, reminiscing about the first time he had met Luna. While she definitely didn’t mean to call him it, at the time, the Princess did initially refer to him as a foul beast. While Bob would’ve been mad at the time, he knew better, even while incredibly mad, to give a Princess an attitude. On top of that, Luna quickly righted her wrong by treating him like a person off the bat. Hell, she was basically the reason why he was still alive. While he idly stroked Luna’s cheek, Bob smiled fondly when Luna first licked his eye because he had called her cute. Despite the constant warnings, the human would still call her adorable, or cute, and promptly be licked in the eye. On occasion, Luna would just lick Bob’s ear, or lick his cheek and nuzzle him a bunch. He just couldn’t help it; Luna was very cute, and she needed to be told as such at every opportunity. And Luna wearing a suit… Oh, that was precious. She looked cute, classy, and looked so damn pettable. Of course, this would later affect how the Princess would dress for formal events such as Twilight’s coronation. Despite being a mare of tradition, she ended up showing up to the coronation while wearing the same suit she wore to his trial, which contrasted from Celestia and Cadance who had opted to wear dresses as usual… Luna probably got a lot of fan mail asking to see her again in a suit in the future… and letters talking about some of the… nefarious things they would do to her in bed after she took the suit off. Bob simply laid there, until Luna’s head shot up. “I forgot…” Luna whispered. “What?” “Chrysalis once suggested something, something that you shall do for us in the morning.” “What?” “You will love it.” The next morning, Bob was sitting in a private dining room in Canterlot Castle. He had been offered to stay the night, which Bob happily took. At first, the morning was a bit weird; he woke up to Celestia curled up around him, with him using her right shoulder as a pillow. After being led to the dining hall, Celestia cantered off, giggling up a storm as she disappeared. The next thing Bob knows, he has some kickass pancakes, a nice glass of milk, and he was wondering when he could go home. As much as he wanted to spend the time with Celestia and Luna, he knew that one would be busy with her daily duties, and the other would be busy catching up on some sleep. The door creaked open, and three sets of hooves… tiny hooves followed suit. Bob scooted his chair back, wondering who the heck was in the dining room; only the servants and Celestia knew where he was. The human spun around in his chair before… stopping. His brain had turned to mush the very moment he turned around. Sitting on the ground before him was Celestia, Chrysalis, and Luna. However, they seemed to be at the same age Apple Bloom and her friends were when he had first met them a year ago. There was one word that could easily be used to describe the sight before him. Celestia, as a filly, had a pink mane and matching tail. She was… tiny, still snow white, and absolutely precious looking. Sitting upon her head was a crown that looked a little too big for her. She sat there, staring up at Bob with big, round eyes that were full of a childlike wonder that was never present in the ancient princess. Her tail swished around and her wings ruffled as Bob’s brain started processing the other two… fillies. Chrysalis… was fucking adorable. Like Celestia, she had a crown that was a little too big for her head. Unlike Celestia, she still had holes riddling her legs, mane and tail. Her horn was a little stubby, and more resembled a unicorn’s horn, though it seemed like some bits and pieces were taken out. Even though Bob knew that the horn would eventually grow into something that was, admittedly, a lot more terrifying than the cute, stubby horn poking out of her head. Her ears poked just out of her mane and they twitched at every single emotion Bob was producing. Luna… she was a lighter color of blue than she was as an adult. Just like the other two, she wore a crown that was just a little too big for her head. Her mane was simply a simple, lighter blue than the rest of her coat. The way she stared up at him was… heartwarming. To top the human’s now unfunctional brain, his heart was puddy as she lifted her hooves up to the air, each dawning a miniature version of her horse shoes. The universal sign of ‘hold me’. Bob’s only functioning brain cell followed her request, and the next thing he knew, he was cradling a filly version of his best friend. “What… Did you three do it?” “Can you be our dad for the day, pretty please?” Chrysalis asked… She had a lisp. Chrysalis, as a filly, had a slight lisp and it was so cute. Soon, all three fillies gave Bob big, round puppy eyes as the human silently resigned to his fate. He simply nodded, before scooping the other two up. Celesita and Luna hung from his shoulders, draping their forelegs over them to hold on. Meanwhile, Chrysalis was held, by her foreleg pits, in Bob’s arms as he walked them out of the castle and into Canterlot. The human’s brain wasn’t functioning, he was running completely on autopilot. The very fact that his three, royal, friends were fillies, very adorable fillies was still setting into his brain when he walked into a fast food place and bought them all foals meals. Once he sat down, after bringing their trays to the table(the fillies were off getting their drinks from the soda machine. An endeavor that Bob ended up helping them with), the human rested his chin on his hands as the three of them played with the toys they got from their respective foal meals. “Holy fucking shit,” Bob whispered. “I think if I have foals with Rainbow and Zippy, I would be an emotional punching bag… I just agreed to parenting three fillies because they gave me a cute look and…” He chuckled. The three foals were unaware of what he was rambling to himself. “Might as well enjoy today, I guess.” That didn’t last long. Somepony had the bright idea of trying to mug him, since they figured that since the Princesses were fillies, that they could be foalnapped and held for ransom. Bob had other plans. “Buddy, turn around, and you won’t get punted across the street like a football.” The stallion robbing them laughed. “And how do you-” Bob quickly uppercutted the bastard, before promptly kicking one of the stallion’s knees until he heard a ‘crack’ and a scream. Soon, Bob was kicking the snout of the stallion while the royal fillies were cowering behind him for protection. One more kick, and several guards piling on the poor fucker, and Bob was back on his way to a park that he had been dragged to by Twilight Velvet while he was forced to stay in Canterlot. Surely he could wear the fillies out and get some snuggly time with them… The human fell against a tree before damn near going limp. He had to run between three different swings, pushing each Princess and Queen. While he wasn’t an athlete, Rainbow Dash would commend him for being able to keep up for as long as he did. He pushed each filly for about twenty minutes, while running, before he nearly collapsed. Despite his wariness, Bob looked back up to keep an eye on his foals while they ran and tumbled over each other on the playground equipment. Surprisingly, the other foals either didn’t recognize the Princesses, or didn’t care, since they all played together all the same. “Pway us a song,” Chrysalis demanded. She, Luna, and Celestia managed to rally up every foal in the park. They were all sitting before Bob, demanding a song from him. “But I don’t-” Celestia’s horn lit up and his guitar landed in his lap. “Nevermind.” Bob hummed and tapped the side of the guitar, thinking of what to play. “I used to rule the world…” The foals were happy to have a song, while the adults that were listening were all too happy to hear the human, who was somewhat renowned in their city, perform for free just to entertain some foals. Of course, Bob didn’t care; he was just happy to be singing to an adoring audience full of cute fillies and colts that swayed a long, and even(while being very off key) try to sing during the last chorus. A few hours later, the human was laying on Celestia’s bed, three fillies were blissfully snoozing away on Bob’s back, each had just been freshly bathed(after drenching their caretaker). Bob was just laying there, feeling very exhausted. He groaned, wanting to roll on his side and take a nap himself, but didn’t want to disturb the foals on his stomach. So instead, he opted to sleep like how he was. The very moment he closed his eyes, all three fillies snapped awake, and started hopping and jumping around the room and making a lot of noise. They were also making a huge mess. “I am going to kill myself by the end of today.” Bob groaned before flopping over and playing dead. That didn’t end well, he got six hooves poking and prodding him while making sure he’s still fine. Bob groaned… He hates children, and foals apparently, but at least foals were too cute to keep hating. “I’m fine…” The human groaned when Chrysalis decided to cannon ball off a dresser and land squarely on his belly… knocking the wind out of him. “Fuck…” He wheezed before clutching his injured stomach and groaning for the next hour and a half. As he did that, he started processing why he decided to foalsit for the day. Chrysalis staring into his soul with big, sorrowful eyes made him remember why; cute fillies. Remember, cute fillies. Don’t yell at the cute fillies. The rest of the day was a little more peaceful, though still tiring for the human.