Eric always wanted to go on a cruise. There was something magical about getting on a metal box and arriving somewhere far away, spending every day in luxury and comfort. But cruises cost money, and that family farm could barely pay for basic living expenses.
Riding on the Svalinn was a little like a cruise—its own self-contained world, with amenities provided on every deck. Granted, she didn't think any cruise her human self would've taken would have quite so many soldiers.
The Svalinn hadn't been built for overwhelming luxury—instead, practical concerns were clearly the guide to every choice. Hallways were small, windows narrow, and doors solid metal. A soldier waited at every stairwell, saluting as they passed.
Many of those ponies watched her with obvious suspicion and fear, shying away rather than accidentally letting her touch them. Do they think I'm going to light them on fire? If so, the rest of the Svalinn was in far greater danger.
But getting too upset by their suspicion and fear would only manifest that danger into reality. Her good behavior might very well be the only thing keeping the citizens in Hono safe. If a kirin loyal to Equestria and friendly with its ponies (well, maybe more than friendly) couldn't keep her composure, who could?
She spent the next few hours more or less following directions through the ship. They ordered her down empty metal halls, into a large communal shower with space for a dozen mares or stallions to use at once. But she was the only one inside. Likewise, the locker room beyond was totally empty.
At least she didn't have to eat alone. She found Gus in one corner of the mess hall, surrounded by several half-full trays of pony food. He'd obviously tasted small sections from each. That left him with an awkward collection of salads, grains, and other greens, while the single fish-smelling dish and a smattering of fruits were all gone.
Lotus didn't have the energy to pretend she was equally interested in all of it—she gestured for the chef to put several large cuts of steaming fish on her plate, along with an ample portion of the pineapple-based dessert.
Gus was so engrossed with his camera that he barely even noticed Lotus's approach, not until she sat down opposite him, shoving several trays out of the way to make room.
"Hope this seat's not taken," she said.
The marine escorting her stepped back, lingering near the wall. She could just tell me where to go after dinner. They still don't trust me.
What was it Searing Gale had said about ponies? Probably best not to think about it.
"It is now." Gus looked up, then grinned. "Well look who it is! I heard they found you down below! Evil sorceress couldn't kill you off? Those scales were too tough."
She levitated a fork up into the air, prodding at her meal. Without the spellbook, she still felt helpless—a tool that could accomplish almost any magical task, now burned to useless ash. But the abilities she'd cultivated were still there, still somehow intact.
"Something like that. She thought I was too useful—or I would be. Not exactly sure. But I didn't win."
Gus set the camera down, holding the power button until it chimed quietly. "What does that mean?"
She didn't answer right away. The food wasn't going to stay warm forever, so that was a good enough excuse. Of all the people to disappoint, Gus deserved it the least. He shouldn't even be a griffon, much less in Equestria!
"So, the whole reason we came back here was that cursed spellbook, right? It had part of Searing Gale's soul. Equestria had this crazy magic to trap the sorceress, but it takes both books. She escaped with one, and we were gonna bring back the other."
He nodded absently. "Not sure how much sense any of that made, but yeah. I remember."
"There is no other book anymore. Searing burned it right in front of me."
"Woah." Gus sat back in his chair, prodding at the hay-based sandwich in front of him. He'd taken one bite but showed no sign of interest in a second. "So that's it? Equestria is doomed, it was all for nothing..." He lowered his voice to a whisper, barely loud enough to hear even right beside him. "Princess Luna has no reason to change us back?"
She whimpered, avoiding his eyes. "She didn't sound... like she thought Equestria was totally screwed. Maybe they have a backup plan? But even if they do, you're right. There's nothing forcing them to hold their end of the deal and change you back."
"Change us back," he corrected, tapping her shoulder with his claw. "You can't tell me this is how you wanna spend the rest of your life. Fur, no hands, and I guess no balls in your case."
She smacked him with the fork, hard enough to send a piece of fish flying off the table. "It's not like the evil sorceress gave me a choice when I found the spellbook! Honestly, I thought I would just change back when the book burned. That's the power that changed me, but somehow it sticks around after?"
"Sounds like we have bigger problems right now anyway," Gus said, waving one claw in her direction. "Without the book, Equestria still has to fight a monster. We better hope they win, or no one gets to see my documentary." He lifted the camera in one claw, before tucking it away into the satchel sitting beside him. "Where's Iron? I wouldn't expect you to get far from him. Now that you two are..."
"Don't say it," she snapped, waving the empty fork vaguely in his direction. "I don't have hands, but I don't need them! Maybe I turn you the rest of the way into a woodpecker, then what?"
He laughed, though the sound was high and chirping more than deep, like a drunk songbird. "Yeah, whatever. If you could do that, I think we'd both be human again by now."
He was obviously right about that, leaving her with little retort. Though if I knew how it would end, I would still want to help. "Iron Feather is around somewhere, if that's what you're asking. He doesn't get to decide to stay with me all the time. He's still part of their military. That means he does what they tell him, when they tell him."
The griffon looked like he might be about to give her a hard time about something else, but then he shrugged and went back to glowering down at his food. "That's it then. We lost, and even if we didn't, there's not really anything we can do to help anymore. We wait for Equestria to win or lose and call us about how it goes."
"Unless they change their mind," she said. "You're not a soldier, neither am I. Not sure what we could even offer them. I might have some insights into the way Searing Gale thinks, but that's about it. The rest is up to the military."
"That should be a relief. We did our part, and that's the end of it. Wish it was." He shook his head once, forcing a smile. "There's a whole new culture to explore! If you've got nothing to do, you have no excuse not to help me with my documentary! Getting a steady shot with a claw is pretty awful, but you could do it with your magic no problem! Imagine the awesome film we'll be putting together! For... no one to watch."
Gus stood up, settling the satchel over his shoulder. "It's not so bad. Just wish they weren't always getting my name wrong. ‘Gusty’ sounds nothing like 'Gus.'"
He slunk away, leaving her alone at the table.
She finished off quickly, conscious every second of the marines' watchful eyes on her back. Friendly or not, these ponies didn't trust her. So long as they were behind her, she'd never forget it.
Her quarters weren't bad, again reminding her of what knowledge she had of cruise ships. At least they'd given her a full bed, instead of a narrow bunk in a stranger's bedroom. Small blessings, but significant.
The exhaustion took her eventually—she couldn't say exactly when.
She woke groggily, conscious of a faint rapping on metal. Lotus moaned, rolled out of bed, then shuffled through the narrow hallway to the door. Her little porthole now showed only stars outside, so it must’ve been quite late at that point. "Can it wait?" she asked, halfway to the door. "It's kinda... middle of the night..."
"Lotus," came a voice through the door, barely a whisper. Probably the only one she would've opened it for. "Are you there?"
She levitated the door open from halfway in the bedroom, preparing her sternest raised eyebrow for the pegasus beyond.
Sure enough it was Iron Feather, thankfully no longer in uniform. He glanced nervously down the hall in both directions. "May I come in?"
She tugged on his forelegs with her magic—not hard enough to drag him, but enough for him to get the message. Her tiredness faded into the distant background. Aside from a brief flight up to the Svalinn, the last time they'd been together was that awful farewell, not knowing if she would survive.
Lotus clicked the door closed behind him, straightening her mane as best she could. But she was still half-delirious, leaving her senses numb and confused. "Look who finally decided to stop by."
She glanced at the switch, but lit her horn instead. She felt better to keep reminding herself that her magic still worked. Losing the book hadn't stolen her powers just because she lost a useful tool.
"Just got off duty," he said, closing the distance between them in a few seconds. He settled one hoof on her shoulder, then brought her in close for an embrace.
One day she would get used to that—being the one small enough for someone else to hold. More importantly, wanting to be held. She was pretty good at not worrying what Eric might think. Linger on that too long, and she'd go completely mad.
She stretched, high enough to kiss him—the way she'd wanted to when they met again on the ground, but that she didn't dare. Now there were no other soldiers watching, nopony to punish Iron for the indiscretion.
"I didn’t know if I'd ever get to do that again," she whispered, some time later. She wasn't sure how long—neither of them was very eager to break apart. "Searing could've killed me easy. But she didn't kill... anyone, actually. I don't think she wanted to hurt any kirin."
The pegasus wrapped one wing around her. That close, she could smell the truth of what he said before. The stallion had come straight to her room after his duties ended. That scent would be all over her if she let him stay. What a tragedy.
"There's no words to thank you. Except now you've saved my life again. Pretty sure you're in the lead."
"After what you did at the mine? Depends how we count." She closed her eyes, resting her head against his neck. "Ponies don't seem to like me very much. Did you have to bribe the marine to let you in?"
He grinned. "Nah. I volunteered to relieve him. I don't think they imagined I'd be watching from this close." He lifted the wing, looking away awkwardly. "Sorry. It doesn't seem fair—you sacrifice everything to help Equestria, and they're still watching you like a criminal."
"I had... thought about it," she said. "I know why they're acting this way. Searing Gale has been attacking Equestria, right? All those weeks we spent trying to get here, they were fighting her. She's the only kirin they know."
Iron Feather slumped onto his haunches. "Unfortunately. It's still not fair. As soon as Princess Luna gets around to my debriefing, I'll talk to her about it and see if she can help. But after that happens..."
He rested one hoof on her cheek, turning her gently until their eyes met. "When we get to Canterlot... I don't know where they'll assign me. I can't tell you very much, but I know it's not going well. Problem with a monster made of fire, they're way harder to extinguish than they are to start."
"You mean..." She lowered her voice, whispering into one ear. "You won't be with me anymore? They'll really just separate us like that?"
He nodded. "Equestria's at war, technically. And we're not married. They'll move me wherever they need me. Which means when we get to Canterlot, that might be it."
He didn't have to finish that thought, though they were both thinking it. If Searing Gale ever encountered the pegasus who had defied her so many times on Earth, the chances he walked away from that were practically zero. She would burn away his life for power the same way she tried to make Lotus do.
"They still need somepony to guard me, right? I'm a dangerous, unpredictable kirin. But I also might have all kinds of valuable information to help with the war. Maybe I need a handler." She nudged him with her shoulder, towards the bed nestled in the back of the cabin.
Far less spacious and comfortable than the luxury mattress back in Hono. But two ponies could still fit in this one, if they didn't mind getting cozy.
"I can suggest it. But I can already tell you what my commanding officer will say. She thinks my judgment is clouded. You saved my life; you got me into Equestria—maybe it was all a ploy. Get into Equestria's good graces so you can sabotage the war from the inside."
He resisted her, pressing one hoof gently against her shoulder. "You know what they're saying? Not the princess, but... the other guards—the ones who know about you."
She nodded weakly, lowering her tail again. She hadn't even realized she was holding it up. "You don't have to tell me. I didn't bring the spellbook. For all they know, I gave it to her by choice."
That would make the guards' behavior clearer. From their perspective, she'd done nothing to help Equestria, just walked up to the ship claiming to be on the same side while failing to do the one thing she'd come to Equestria to accomplish.
Princess Luna didn't think so—she insisted Lotus wasn't a failure.
"Can't imagine they'll be too happy about me coming to see you, either. More evidence I'm under your spell."
She chuckled, only slightly forced. "You could just tell them what kind of spell it is. If ponies had something against us being together, I assume you would've told me by now."
"The princess knows. Trying to hide anything from Princess Luna is... stupid."
"What did she think?" Lotus brushed her mane with her magic, combing it back into something approaching order. Delirious with tiredness or not, she no longer expected she would be getting very much sleep. "Was she upset?"
"Worried," he said. "There was something... she mentioned something about Searing Gale. But I wasn't sure what she meant."
Lotus finally stopped her magic. The glow faded, leaving both of them concealed in shadow. "She loved a pony too. A long time ago, before she was a monster. But when they had a foal together, the baby was a kirin." She looked up, wiping away the moisture from her eyes. "He abandoned her... maybe tried to hurt the baby too. That's the reason there's a Searing Gale."
"Oh." He rested next to her; one wing draped over her shoulders again. But he wasn't trying to do anything particularly intimate this time, just staying close to her. "I don't know how he was surprised. If a pegasus and a unicorn get together, you don't get halfway between them, you get one or the other—or maybe an earth pony, because of some ancestor generations back that no one can remember."
He lowered his voice, so low she could only hear it because he whispered into her ear. "I wouldn't mind if ours was a kirin. They'd be our foal, so they'd be perfect."
Lotus brushed up against his neck. "You don't need an invitation if that's what you're asking. You're already in my bedroom, am I supposed to beg?"
She couldn't see his smile in the dark, but she could feel it against her neck. "If that happens, and Equestria wins this... you better not fly off carrying our foal. If I'm a dad, I want to be part of their life. Even if I have to go back with you."
"If that happens, I won't go back. Promise not to tell Gus."
He shoved her back, towards the bunk. "I won't tell him," he said. "But I hope you meant what you said. It sounds like a challenge."
It was supposed to be, obviously.
One mission had already ended in failure. Now Lotus's future was out of her hooves, and Equestria's success was uncertain. But at least right here, right now, maybe she didn't have to be in control.
If fate was going to decide her future, Lotus Cinder planned to at least enjoy the ride.