//------------------------------//
// Out of bonds 
// Story: Not Here 
// by ulcuran 
//------------------------------//

Ponyville had calmed down in the last few days since nothing else was stolen everypony was now more relaxed, some ponies even forgot to lock their doors when leaving their homes. 

Rarity was not one of those ponies, she locked the door of the boutique three times before she left she couldn’t risk getting her diamonds stolen again. She was leaving Ponyville to travel to Canterlot, why? Because she had just received a commission from Princess Luna herself! There wasn’t much mentioned in the letter but basically, the princess required her services for the gala, ohhh was she going to design a royal dress for the gala? She already had some ideas in her mind.

‘’I’m sure a big, handsome, and intelligent stallion like yourself can help me load my bags can’t you?’’ She fluttered her eyelashes at the stallion. 

‘’I-uh, of course!’’ The pony almost immediately started loading up the bags onto the train. 

‘’Thank you, darling.’’ 

She takes her seat in the cart and begins dreaming about the dress she would make for the princess, all the nobles would turn their heads at her dazzling creation, oh she would need a whole lot of gems that’s for sure, she hopes no thief takes her gems again. 

‘’Tehehe.’’ She was already giddy at the thought. 



I look at the mirror and the pony, myself, in front of it. The bandages that covered most of my body were off along with the on top of my forehead, revealing a small scar that was almost invisible to the eye but if you really looked at my forehead you could see it. I bring my now bandage-free hoof to it and touch it. ow. 

‘’Ow.’’ 

‘’Don’t touch it, let it rest.’’ The doctor pony smacks my hoof away. 

‘’Okay.’’ 

‘’It should heal much further if you don’t touch it, now please don’t come here again, I’ve seen you a total of three times this week alone, and in one of those times you tried to jump out of the window.’’ 

‘’I’ll try.’’ 

The doctor pony sighs and waves me away. I give out a quick thanks and leave the infirmary. I begin my walk back to my room, I got some books from the library in the castle, some basic stuff, general history, biology on ponies, and the like I can’t continue acting like I don’t know most basic of the stuff with the excuse of oh I lived in like a cave or something. That’s just stupid. 

‘’Hey Laika, finally out of those bandages?’’ A maid asks, they warmed up to me these days they sometimes talk to me and we make small talk, it’s nice. 

‘’Hi, yeah finally, you’re not slacking off right Misty?’’ 

‘’Of course not.’’ She looks to the right and the left, and whispers. ‘’You never talked to me if Lilly asks okay?’’ 

‘’Right, so you are slacking off.’’ 

‘’Shhh!’’ She hushes me. 

‘’Alright, see you later Misty.’’ I chuckle and leave Misty to her slacking, I don’t want to be near her when Lilly inevitably catches her not working, that mare is scary when she catches her friend not working. 

‘’Bye!’’ She waves me off. 

Lilly is Misty’s friend the one who took me to Celestia earlier. She’s really strict on Misty never letting her skip off on work. On my way, I pass by a few guards, but I don’t see much eye to eye with them, probably with me kicking one of them when I first got here. But it’s not like they are doing anything bad, just some nasty looks here and there, and maybe me being Luna’s actual knight is playing into that…yeah, apparently Luna officially made me her knight. So I’m one of the only knights in the country apparently. 

So now I have a job…hurray. It’s just me being near Luna most of the day, and bringing her chocolate whenever she wants it. Oh and we watch the night sky together, that’s always calming. 

Celestia was not sure about the idea at first but it looks like Luna convinced her, somehow. I understand Celestia, I went from thief to knight in like a week by destroying crown property. But it seems like no one uhh really wanted to be Luna’s knight, so it all worked out. 

Also, I’ve noticed Celestia probing me with questions subtly, when we were eating lunch she asked them when Luna went to the bathroom too, mostly about how I was raised, and what the place I was raised looked like, I gave her most of the same answers I gave Moonlight. But there was one really weird question, I don’t even know if I answered correctly on that one, it was: ‘’Do the plants grow on their own in the forest you lived?’’ How the hell was I supposed to answer that? I mean how else do plants grow? So I just said a really drawn-out yeah. Her eyes widened ever slightly not that noticeable but since I was looking at her directly I noticed it. I hope that doesn’t come back to bite me on the ass. 

Turning the corner I’m in the hallway which had my room, even though this castle is quite big I kinda memorized some paths you never know when the secret that you’re not an actual pony will get out and you have to make a quick escape, I’m still not allowed to leave the castle though. 

Wait what is that? Right opposite of my room, I see a mound of… suitcases? Getting closer I realize there is a pony underneath those suitcases, he is trembling but he doesn’t falter under the weight and takes a step forward into the room. I peek inside the room and see, Celestia? What is she doing here? Wait is that a unicorn kissing her hoof? 

‘’Thank you… Thank you…’’ She keeps the kisses, while Celestia looks around the room looking mighty uncomfortable and not knowing what to do. 

‘’You’re very wel-’’ 

‘’Thank you!’’ 

‘’Your luggage, mademoiselle?’’ The mighty warrior of suitcases asks, just barely before collapsing.

‘’I’ll leave you to get settled.’’ Oh, she’s coming out I retreat before she can see me and hide on the opposite side. She comes out and starts walking without noticing me, before I can sneak behind the princess, the hoof-kisser comes out thanks her for the final time, and goes back inside her room. I slowly sneak up to Celestia. 

‘’So, you like getting your hoof kissed?’’ 

‘’What?’’ Haha! Yes, this time I’m the one sneaking up on her! Revenge, it's sweet and hot not cold. ‘’Oh it’s you Laika, I see you’re out of those bandages.’’ Hehe, she’s avoiding the question. 

‘’Yep, now all can gaze upon my glory.’’ She smiles. ‘’Oh, by the way, I won’t kiss your hoof as thank you.’’ Her smile falters and she sighs. 

‘’You saw that?’’ 

A huge grin is covering my face.‘’In all its glory, you get your hoof kissed like that a lot?’’ 

‘’...yes, I’ve grown tired of telling my little ponies to stop, it’s best to just leave them be.’’ 

‘’Hmmm, sure, that’s the reason.’’ 

‘’It is!’’ 

‘’Who is she anyway?’’ 

‘’She’s Rarity one of the elements of harmony-’’ Yeah, sure I know what that means…of course, I don’t. ‘’-and she is a master seamstress, Luna requested her to come to Canterlot. I welcomed her.’’ 

‘’Luna asked her to come? Why?’’ A small smile makes its way to the face of Celestia. 

‘’Oh? She hasn’t told you?’’ 

‘’No? What, is something important happening?’’ 

‘’Well you’ll see in time, I’m sure Luna will tell you.’’ She lets out a small, soft laugh. ‘’Oh by the way since you told me you won’t kiss my hoof, would you kiss Luna’s hoof?’’ 

‘’What? No! I won’t kiss anyone’s hoof!’’ 

‘’What if she asks you? You are her knight after all.’’ Her smile gets wider. 

‘’N-no, I wouldn’t.’’ 

‘’Hmmmm.’’ She only tilts her head with that damning smile plastered all over her face. 

‘’I’m going back to my room.’’ I turn around and head for my room. 

‘’Be sure to come by for lunch dear!’’ Have to get chocolate from the kitchen before I go to lunch then, that's like my one job let’s not forget that. 

I enter my room and close the door, now my barebones room has some books on the table, I head to the table and uhhh. How do I…how do I pick this book up? I mean I can pick it up with one of my hooves then I can move but it’s really awkward that way. I saw ponies use their mouth, should I? Hmmm. No, I’m may be a pony now but I’m not going to bite a book to carry it. 

I pick the book up head to my bed, and throw myself on it, I bounce back off the bed and fall to the ground, hell, I don’t remember my bed being that bouncy.

‘’Aghh!’’ A gray ponymaid with a really messy lime mane jumps up from the covers. 

‘’Moonlight?! Are you sleeping on my bed, again?’’ I get up from the ground and look at the startled Moonlight. 

‘’Uhhh, no?’’ She shows a guilty smile. ‘’I was just…uh cleaning your room!’’ 

‘’Clean what exactly?’’ I gesture to the empty room. 

‘’...okay, I was sleeping on your bed, again.’’ 

‘’I mean I’m fine with it.’’ I shrug my shoulders, picking up the fallen book I move to the balcony. ‘’But you’ve been here for like uhh three days in a row now? Won’t the head maid get mad?’’ 

‘’Hehehe, well about that.’’ She looks away. ‘’I kinda have been telling her that you're such a messy guest that your room is so messy every day that it takes me all day, every day to clean it.’’ Is she serious? That's genius! 

‘’...is that why she looks at me like I’m trash?’’ 

‘’...maybe?’’ She gets up from the bed and joins me on the balcony. 

I groan and sit on my new floor pillow. Yes, I actually did get one. It’s red, why? Because I felt like floor pillows have to be red. Why? I don’t know, just felt like it. But it’s almost as soft as Luna’s pillow, almost. Maybe only the Princesses get the comfiest pillows? Have to investigate. 

‘’Wait, you’re out of the bandages!’’ 

‘’Wow, you got eyes like a hawk, I thought you wouldn’t notice.’’ 

‘’You don’t look like mummy a anymore-’’ She giggles. ‘’-it looks like my kiss of healing worked.’’ 

‘’I think it slowed it dow-ow.’’ She pokes me in the ribs. 

‘’I love your new pillow by the way.’’ Moonlight lays down on the pillow and stretches on it, it’s wide enough for both of us. 

‘’I love it too.’’ I say as I open the book. 

‘’Ohh, what are you reading?’’ She scoots closer and looks at the book. 

‘’It’s about the founding of Equestria.’’ 

‘’That old tale? I heard it a million times already, but the elements had a play about it last year, it was really good.’’ She rolls over and lays on her back and looks at the clouds. 

‘’Hmmm, I think one of the elements is in the castle.’’ 

‘’No way! Which one, which one?!’’ She gets up from the pillow and starts shaking me. 

‘’The w-white one, stop shaking me!’’ 

‘’Rarity?!’’ She doesn’t stop the shaking, the whole world is turning now. 

‘’Yeah, that’s the one, now stop, please!’’ 

‘’Oops, sorry.’’ She stopped, finally, whoah there are two Moonlights now. 

‘’A fan?’’ 

‘’Are you kidding? Rarity makes the best dresses around! And she’s here?! I hope I can see her, actually, do you know why she is here?’’ 

‘’Celestia said Luna requested her to come, I don’t know why though.’’ I shrug. ‘’Speaking of Luna I heard you guys got in a fight again.’’ She sighs and looks away. 

‘’Yeah, but umm, she apologized to me, and I apologized too, we both may have said some bad things.’’ 

‘’So you two are good now?’’ That’s good I don’t want the only people who are my friends in this world fighting. She nods. ‘’So I won’t have to bring ice cream to calm you down?’’ 

‘’Ohhhh, I don’t know, maybe keep some in the back, just in case you know?’’ She winks. ‘’But you are a knight now aren’t you, you need ice cream just to hold back a simple maid?’’ 

‘’A simple maid? Yeah, maids usually fight with their Princesses right?’’ 

‘’Well…okay you may need the ice cream.’’ She laughs, and I laugh too, a bit nervous. Brain take a mental note, always have ice cream at the ready, chocolate if possible. You got it, boss. 

‘’I’m gonna lay under the sun a bit you can read.’’ She turns over again, does as she says, and starts sunbathing. I open the book and start reading. 

Earth ponies grow the food, okay yeah understandable. The pegasi demanded some of the food in exchange for providing the weather, I mean, kinda weird but okay…am I reading this correctly? I read it again, rub my eyes, and read it again, I shake my head and slap myself lightly on the cheeks, and read it again. 

The unicorns also demanded payment for magically raising the sun and the moon. 

…that would explain how they move like that. But that doesn’t make sense! You know what fuck this, I’m not going to look for reason anymore. I groan and continue reading the book. 

The tensions between each pony tribe were tense but then a large blizzard arrived which caused a food shortage. To deal with the crisis each of the tribe's leader, Chancellor Puddinghead? Nope, no more looking for reason, agreed to meet up and discuss what to do. The meeting however goes poorly, wow shocker, I don’t think any meeting with, Chancellor Puddinghead is going to be productive. 

The only option seemed to migrate now, so each of the tribe's leader led the expedition themselves with their second in command, uh-huh sure. They soon discover the ideal land for their people, but it seems that each tribe has claimed the same land, ohhh do I hear a pony war brewing? But just before they can fight the blizzard arrives again, aww, no pony war? 

So they hide in a cave but continue to bicker which causes the windigos to appear. Windigos? Windigos feed off hatred and fighting causing blizzards and freezing weather. All of the leaders get frozen solid except for their advisors, Clover the Clever recognizes the windigos, so they tell stories and sing, and with their display of friendship, Clover the Clever, Smart Cookie, and Private Panys, hah, Panys, manage to melt the ice which froze their leaders and destroy the windigos, through the magic of the Fire of Friendship? Wow that’s dumb. 

Yada-yada all the leaders recognize fighting gets them nowhere they all reconcile and become friends, they name the land Equestria and all live in harmony. 

I close the book and sigh, I thought this would be useful, I just picked up a propaganda book, didn’t I? I mean seriously, the leaders actually do something? Their second in command are all friends? They defeat the enemy with the magic of friendship?! Fucking Chancellor Puddinghead!? Yeah, no. There totally was a hugeeee war between the tribes and the crown is hiding it. Wait, I serve the crown right now though, ugh. 

‘’Hey, Moonligh- oh, you’re asleep.’’ I see Moonlight sleeping under the sunlight, sprawled all over the pillow. Heh, she’s like a cat. ‘’Wake up you lazy pony.’’ 

‘’Wha- n- don- ea- my ic-ream.’’ She snorts and continues her snoozing. 

Damn, now I don’t want to wake her up, eh it’s fine, let her sleep. I silently get up from the pillow, place the book on the table, and leave the room. Time to head to lunch, Luna said it was by the gardens again. Chocolate, huh? Oh right, Luna’s chocolate, gotta head to the kitchen first then. Thanks buddy, always.



Ah, there he is, their savior. The window crasher, the knight of chocolate, the subduer of the Nightmare, Laika. Hearty Meal, watched as the brave knight trotted forward, he was most likely to get chocolate. Which Hearty would gladly give him. Ever since he crashed through the throne room window, Princess Luna has gone softer, her temper even though still existed was more subdued. Every one of the castle staff was grateful, the guards maybe not so much, probably because of his extremely fast climb up the ladder. 

‘’Hello, Hearty Meal, you got the stuff?’’ The chocolate knight asks the chef. 

‘’Of course, you got the dough?’’ 

‘’Uhhh-’’ The now dealer of ‘shady’ chocolate quickly looks around the kitchen and grabs the dough Hearty was working on which was going to turn into a pizza. ‘’-here.’’ 

Hearty nods and brings out the stuff. A normal bar of chocolate which could be bought anywhere. The knight does not smile, in fact, he frowns. Hearty’s composed smile falters. 

‘’What is this?’’ He asks straight to the point. 

‘’C-chocolate?’’ 

‘’You expect me to bring my lady this plebian chocolate?’’ He spits the words out.

‘’I…-t-this is all I have in hoof.’’ That was a lie, he had hidden away some of the good stuff for himself. 

‘’Oh okay, then I’ll just give the Princess this and when she inevitably and righteously gets angry, I’ll just say that Hearty Meal deemed her worthy of this.’’ The Knight of Cocoa Beans was not messing around. 

‘’No! Okay, okay, I’ll give you what you want.’’ He brings out the bar of Premium Macawian Chocolate. The knight finally smiles. 

‘’Now we could have done this from the beginning, couldn’t we?’’ He swipes the bar and gives the dough back to the chef. ‘’Pleasure doing business, Hearty.’’ He leaves the kitchen. 

When Laika leaves Hearty lets out a laugh, they talked a little yesterday and Hearty mentioned his love of crime novels to him. He is glad Laika played along with him in this little play, he turned and continued kneading the dough for the pizza with a smile on his face. The Knight of Chocolate is likable as he is formidable, he may have to get some stronger stuff next time. Oh wait he didn't have any bandages on him, maybe it kept his power shut? 



With a smile on my face, I make my way to the gardens. I like Hearty Meal, he makes great food and is a joy to talk to. When we were talking yesterday he mentioned a book he read, it was about a pony teacher who had a mysterious magical spell cast on her, and she had to buy a cure from a shady dealer, but since it was so expensive the teacher had to sell... rock candy to ponies to afford it. It was honestly hilarious, but I had to hold back myself from laughing because Hearty had such a serious expression as he told it. 

I enter the expansive gardens, and slowly walk over to the usual spot, chocolate in han-uhh hoof? Ah, I see Celestia, Luna, and um what was her name again? Rarity? Yeah, Rarity.

‘’I’m so honored to be able to make a dress for you Princess!’’ Rarity talks to Luna while she is drinking tea. 

‘’It won’t be for us but for-’’ Luna notices me, and she smiles and waves. Rarity turns to look at what Luna’s attention is on and notices me, looks me up and down, and narrows her eyes. With a sharp gasp, she lunges. 

‘’Thief! Give me back my gems!’’ In just a second I’m on the ground face to face with a very angry-looking unicorn. Crud, some knight I am.