March 19th, 2021
Day 1: It’s started… I’ve never though of using a diary. I’m not a girly popular girl like Rarity. Or wanting to document activities throughout my day like Shy. But… something major happened today. Something I need to speak to someone about, but I can’t. I can’t tell anyone, so I guess I’ll just tell the paper. Hey diary, it’s me, Rainbow Dash. I’m depressed, I cut myself and I wanna die.
My breath was shaky, my mind fogged up. I wasn't thinking; I didn't know what I was doing. But then again, I did. I knew exactly what I was doing and why I was doing it; my screaming sobs of pain, covered by the loud music I played in my room. A voice constantly telling me to stop, I knew I should. I know I should, but I can't. It’s too late now. A couple more strokes followed by tears that steamed down onto my bed sheets as the pink pigmented color stained the white blanket. I sighed out, my head hurting as I grasped my arm and that voice still shouting at me, but I just ignored it. Before I knew it I had moved on to the legs, starting at the ankles as they were the weakest part. I made my way up, all the way until I reached my thigh; I stop, debating. Why am I here? Do I deserve this? I think I do, I know I do! I let out a large sigh before tightening my grip and slashing my thigh, hard. It oozed out, my sheets no longer the color of bright fluffy clouds, instead the dark red of an expensive wine you would pay thousands of dollars to drink. Drinking, tasting, I could taste it. It tasted bitter, but with a sweet after taste. It hurt my mouth, it felt like it was burning against the rough edges of my tongue. My head was now resting on my knee as I just let out more strained weeps and gulps, trying to breathe as best I could as the pain was more than I could bear. I didn't care though, nothing mattered. My tears just kept flowing as I could feel my eyes reddening and I could see nothing but the red liquid all over my legs. My life is hell, I don't deserve not to be punished…So I'll just punish myself, this is the first of many more days to come…