//------------------------------//
// Broken Glass 
// Story: Through Broken Eyes 
// by wrasse62123 
//------------------------------//

Broken glass
(Polaris Journal)

Dear Journal, 
I have made my way into Ponyville,and by my calculations there are advantages to moving here as well as disadvantages, the advantage being that these ponies do not know me, the disadvantage, being that they want to get to know me, this is a serious risk to me, and it seems that there are only two options in this specific case, one is to hide away, for a few days then slowly start to periodically come out more and more of my house, or to go out a little bit everyday, hoping that nopony decides to have any real interaction with me, thus the getting used to me. However today I will not be thinking about battle tactics, there much urgent matters, I have arrived recently in this area, I came with a limited amount of food to sustain myself, in the moving of things around in my house to my needs , I have used up almost all of  my food, as well as the limited amount of toothpaste and other important items that keep me in this house, and functioning properly, I might have to go out again later today...wish me luck.

(Polaris POV)

I woke up and could feel the sunlight from the window warm my body, of all the things that I had tried to comprehend, on what they would look like, the sun was the greatest, I had heard other ponies say that the sun looked like a giant peach with the clouds as whipped cream around it, I did not know what whipped cream or peaches looked like but I  did know what they felt and tasted like, and the taste gave me sort of a preview of the look...it was good enough for me.

I rose up from the soft cotton from my bed and gave a nice yawn, guessing by the sun warmth it was about 7:00Am, the air pressure told me that the weather patrol had no plan of rain for the next 4 hours, I flipped my body out of bed, and for the slightest moment a strange wave of pain and dizziness enveloped my body,then just as it had arrived  it was gone. 

I ignored the unpleasant feeling quickly switched into my morning routine, and started feeling around my house without the use of my magic, magic drained me so it was important that I learned how to move around my home without it, but to do this I had to memorize every nook and nail. 

After feeling every point in my house I walked over to the refrigerator, and opened it, and started feeling around, there was nothing to be felt, I forgot I didn't have any food brought over here, and I hadn't really eaten anything since that Apple yesterday, and I was very hungry, however at the same time I didn't fancy a trip  to the store,then my stomach growled again, the action seemed much more favorable.

This place was very much different from Canterlot, I would have to wonder if their stores and market places would be any different either. In Canterlot some places wouldn't even allow me in, I have also observed that in Canterlot society there are two types of food, really bad food and really expensive bad food, it was not like Phillydelphia, or the Big Apple  in the food style, the really bad food was sold from street vendors, or rundown restaurants, there you received decent portions, the really expensive bad food was what the rich snobs ate all the time, they gave you a small portion and expected you to be full, it wasn't even that good!

any time a good restaurant opened the rich restaurants got together to run the new restaurant out of town, either by bribery or...other methods.

The food market was easy to find, for a bind pony you could smell it from across town , although that  apple place kept messing with my nose, once I arrived at the market it felt...more friendly, instead of the rather loud,yelling and haggling of Canterlot the shoppers were engaged in peaceful conversations with their vendors, friendly deals were made, and the food smelled good, and casual conversations about usually random stuff transpired.

Another interesting thing that I have noticed  in this town vs Canterlot, is the fact that the different groups of ponies interacted with each other, In Canterlot the ponies were kept only to there own group, the Unicorns were generally the highest class, and kept their noses up high to anyone else, then the Pegasi kept to themselves even more and no one really knew where they were, then there were the earth ponies, who often formed the hired help for the richer ponies, and finally the lowest on the food chain, were different ponies like me, here it seemed to be an egalitarian society.

Suddenly a dizzy pain spell hit me again like the one this morning, except it was a moment longer than before, the magic that allowed me to know my surroundings started to blur, and I had to hold on to a building side to keep from falling down, then the moment passed and all was well again, I thought nothing of it except for stress from me taking in a new environment,  my magic must have been acting funny, it was not like I needed a doctor

In fact I had never  really gone to the doctor's ever, I mean I went when I was real young to get vaccinated, but when I was sick my parents never really ever cared enough to take me there, the only reason I even got vaccinated in the first place is because the EHA (Equestrian Health Agency) required my parents to do so.

I walked up to the first stand which happened to be an orange stand, there was a mare there "Hello there are you new in town" She said in a very friendly tone, she was slightly younger than me but only slightly, she smelled of oranges

I decided to proceed with a casual conversation, in hopes that I could learn a bit more about this town, in this certain situation information was key "Yes I moved in last night, I'm Polaris" I said quietly

It was at this point that I reprimanded my self mentally I was going to get no where if I kept on getting nervous around other ponies, I would indeed reveal myself, my experience shows that ponies are naturally against those who are different, I was different trying to be similar,  

A bead of sweat ran down the back of my neck, however this pony did not notice my uncomfortable look. "Well my name is Orange Blossom, since your new in town would you like to go out with me and some friends tonight, I know a good restaurant" she said this casually and in a tone that told me that she had a smile on her face, she seem oblivious of my feelings and waited for my response.

My face turned into a smile, or I should say the best smile that a blind pony could pull off, however mentally I was freaking out, what would I say now? Not only that but the fact was that this was very strange to me, she was trying to be friendly, and because of this I felt...something that I found hard to describe. But that was not the point, I had only just told her my name and now she was asking for me to go out with her and some friends, that did not exactly compute with any social encounters, that I have ever observed, in fact I thought the only one that could be this nice and trusting would be the Princess  

But I had to quickly hide my shock before she or some other pony noticed and got suspicious fortunately on my part she did not know my current housing situation, and thus I could come up with a proper excuse with what she did know, "Sorry I would love to, but I really need to get the new house, more together" I was happy with this because it was true my place was not exactly up to my standards of organization, and being a blind pony I have learned over the years that it is important to stay very organized.

She thought this over for a moment then said "Well we could come over to help you out" This of course was even more odd to me, again I had only just met this pony, and it seemed very odd offering help. Back in Canterlot, either you hired help, which mostly only the rich ponies did, the other "average" ponies usually did there own housing work in an attempt to save money. 

Of course it was not like I had much work to begin with, the moving ponies had placed most appliances in the proper areas, I only had a few boxes of personal stuff to work with. What I really didn't like was to lie to other ponies, it didn't feel right, even if I didn't trust them. However to accomplish my current mission I would have to make up an excuse, after all even though this pony seemed kind, she could always just stab me in the back if and when she  found  out my secret.

And this I could describe as the greatest trap, the greatest weakness that I had while undercover, the more that I contacted and interacted with other ponies, the more entangled I got with them, the more I grew to care for them, the more of the chance that they could find me out,  and the more it would hurt when they left,it was like a scientific equation and I had tried this many times before always, with the same  painful outcome, the more I got to know them, the more it hurt when they left, and from past experience they always left, whether they cared about you or not.

However I had more short term matters that I had to deal with "Thanks, but no thanks, i am a bit sensitive when it comes to my stuff" I  answered, it was not really true, blind ponies were not as attached to their objects, or at least I was not. I am not exactly sure how blind ponies are supposed to act, it is actually quite rare in Equestria

Orange Blossom seemed to take my answer with understanding "I have a friend like that, however if you ever need a  hoof you can call on me" she said happily. This again  sent a warmness to my heart like hot chocolate is supposed to do on a cool   winter's day, I had actually never had hot chocolate, my parents never gave me that much.

"Thank you, I'll be sure to do that" I said in the warmest voice that I could manage "By the way" I said remembering my original objective "How much are the oranges?" I still needed to get my shopping done

"Can't you read the sign, they're two bits per orange" She said with some confusion, she was not in any way trying to be rude it is just that the sign was most likely in a very easy to see place, but I wouldn't know that.

"Oh sorry I must have missed it" I said it was a pretty bad excuse but it worked. I could always smell out the best fruits, my nose was very exact in its picking process, I could smell every cut scrape and discrepancy in each orange, I simply choose the ones that were prefect or slightly fresher than the others, I picked out the five best oranges and put them into my saddle bag before paying the proper amount out to Orange Blossom.

"Thank you" I said as a common courtesy , she had treated me with kindness and respect, and thus I felt that I naturally owed her, so I secretly slipped an extra bit with the others.

"Your welcome" She said "Please come back again, and give me a call if you need any help" She called as I walked away 

My brief conversation with Orange Blossom had it's good points and bad points, on one positive note, I had refrained from letting anything too personal slip in our discussion, while not upsetting her however, I did feel that strange feeling in my heart, I don't think that I have ever quite felt it before, but I could think on it later, my problem, or I should say weakness is that I am getting somewhat attached, and that was a weakness, if they ever found out they would turn away like every one else, getting hurt once, feels bad, getting hurt several times over the same thing is painful.

When we are young we are all foolish enough to get burned by fire at least once or twice, then common sense told us to not put our hands in the fire, in order to avoid pain, in Canterlot I kept touching the ponies, which stand in as the fire, thus getting burned several times, however here a different social phenomenon has happened entirely, we are all forced to be in the presence of fire eventually, as I am forced to be in the presence of other ponies eventually, however instead of me coming to touch the fire that is the ponies on a social level, the ponies are interacting with me on their own, instead of me having to put any effort into coming into contact the situation was that when I went out it seemed that these ponies didn't mind me around. 

And this was not an issue of blindness, you could be a completely normal pony in Canterlot and easily be hated for  no reason, I was just singled  out because I was more different. Either way it was all so opposite from what I was used to that I didn't always know how to react with the feelings that have welled up in the past two days, I actually didn't know that I had most of them until recently, but the important questions is how should I feel about feelings, that I have never felt and what exactly am I supposed to do with them.

Even though the hate and pain are horrible, and are like a slow venom that wears at your heart and wears down to your soul, you get used to them,go on with them, and even start to ignore them, you cannot completely ignore pain, and it still hurts but if it hurts everyday and does not go away then your body and mind either perish, which is not preferable, or you mentally make changes, to deal with it you become desensitized to it, however in lessening that pain you lessen the potential of joy and of other positive emotions, and are thus not quite sure on what to do when faced with such positive things, embrace them, or reject them?

However If I have learned anything in the past two days since moving here, you can never ever completely put out someone's light, even my own.

Light is an abstract object to blind ponies, it translates usually into heat for us, however I could detect colors through the type of light radiation that a specific color, I can use this to more easily define the markings of similar things with different color patterns, per example if I could not tell the difference of an orange and a grapefruit by smell, then I could simply measure the type of color radiation that was bouncing off of them and determine the difference between the two fruits by way of color.

I could even use this similar met hood to read, and  by forming the words as a mental picture in my head, could read faster than most ponies, however this whole thing with measuring radiation with my magic often made me very tired if not completely exhausted, it took many years of strict discipline and practice to master this, plus I had to do this mostly on my own...and it was painful

I continued my trip getting various other items while trying to keep away from having a total conversation with the other ponies, so far my trip was successful, and those dizzy spells seemed to be gone. 

Then I noticed something a bit odd, I think somepony was following me, however it seemed to disappear and reappear around me at many different angles, I checked it's radiation signature, it was pink, but how was it moving in such an odd way it was like it was teleporting around...then as sudden as it came it soon left, odd it seemed like it was observing me, my magic was probably just acting up again, it has felt strange all day.

I made my way over to the next fruit stand,so far I had bought most of what I wanted, however a good piece of dragon fruit (no lie this is a real fruit look it up) for desert, then I would get some apples and be on my way home.

I have heard that dragon fruit was beautiful looking, however the feel was enough to satisfy me the exterior felt like it was made by a famous architect and should be in an art gallery, It was a very sweet and favorable fruit and was also very healthy for you, since I had not been feeling 100% some dragon fruit, patch me up.

From what I could form together in my head and read on the sign it was three bits per fruit. Dragon fruit was fairly rare in Canterlot,I had always smelled it in the marketplace up in Canterlot but had only  had it once, up there the climate was cooler and Dragon fruit required heat to grow, plus most merchants refused to sell me anything and the ones that did,were often slow out because the rich ponies bought so much of it, besides it was very expensive in Canterlot, like  15 bits for  half a fruit.

The smell hit me like a brick wall, if regular ponies liked their taste imagine how a blind pony would savor it.

"Hello there how are you doing today" The young colt in front of the Dragon fruit asked, I was used to this shopping area, and type of friendly shopping by now and went on without being rude

"I am fine, mind if I have three dragon fruit?" I said straight to the point, yet polite, they were extending me common kindness and it would be rude not to mention risky to my presence if I was rude back

"Please pick your fruit" He said kindly this was something else that was different here from the Canterlot markets they let you pick your fruit here, usually in Canterlot they just gave it to you although suspiciously they gave the richer ponies the best fruit.

I quickly determined the best fruit as I had the others then put the proper amount of money on the table, he quickly took it and put it in his cash box without counting it, this was another trend that I had noticed here they actually trusted you, in Canterlot they always counted the money before allowing for you to leave.

"Thank you and Goodbye" I said

"please feel free to  come back" he said He said in a kind voice, he most likely had a smile on his face but I wouldn't know that.

"The hard thing about fakeing sight is that, you have a lot of trouble with facial expressions, I have no real need for them when I can't see them, however everyone else does have a use for them,it is kind of like the tone in a person's voice, to me I can tell if there angry happy sad and so on, the way I understand expressions is kind of like that.

Then I was walking out of the Dragon fruit I quickly doubled over in more pain than before, and started hyper ventilating dangerously , the shop owner quickly ran over to me "Are you okay!?" He asked me seriously concerned, I was on my belly, my magic was blurry or completely off, however I did manage to think of an excuse

"It's.... just.... a...... minor cramp" I managed to say between my rapid exchange of breaths He tried to help me up, but I said "Don't .... help ...me Up, it will go away in a moment"  About thirty seconds passed then my magic turned on again,and I was able to get up "Are you sure your okay?" he asked with a voice full of worry

"Yeah I'm okay, I just ate something bad last night", I really didn't have anything last night, I did have that apple in the morning but, I would have felt it earlier than that, if the Apple was the true cause, so that ruled it out

"Well you scared me a bit today, how about you go home for right now, and if you feel any worse then you should call a doctor" He said, it  seemed that people here actually cared about you even if they didn't have to here I had just met this guy and didn't even know his name yet he cared enough about me.

"Don't worry about me, I just need to get some apples" I said still trying to catch my breath

"Well don't do anything besides that then go home" He warned

I assured him some more that I would not do anything else, then I started out on my quest for the apple stand, which again was not too hard to find my sense of smell was how I got around before I had mastered my magic, I could easily tune out senses that I did not want or need to smell then save the ones that I did need to find, however this can be distracting sometimes, when I am using my magic , it tells me to do something then my nose goes and tells me to do something else and the two start to mentally conflict with each other, and it can get confusing on what to do.

Although what really gets confusing is when I hear something, smell something different, then detect something even more different. But all of my senses do not usually conflict with each other ,they usually work together to make my picture of the world full. It is hard to fool each sense and each usually picks up on a category of different things, that subconsciously, tells me what to do based on all available information.

In fact touch often has a say in  it's share of information to provide as well, when my smell was disabled, or compromised by an extremely strong scent, then I would use touch to figure out my way around town, each area in town had either been paved differently, or had a specific type and composition of dirt, I had memorized what the of ground was in each area, and for areas with similar types of ground have very different types of wear on them which I could also detect, this wear was caused by the fact that, a different amount of ponies walked on the same surface, and this information was checked and updated constantly, by my other senses so if there was ever a situation where I was disabled in any way i could literally feel my way around town.

I was learning about Ponyville walking way, I seemed to be less complicated than Canter lot's which was actually somewhat of a problem to me, gathering information was easy for me and I had unintentionally gathered quite a bit during my walk yesterday. However here in Ponyville the roads seemed more similar and had less variance on what they were made out of, I could still locate key points like this market place, and other points of interest,however here routes were more important than in Canterlot because the ponies actually want to get to know you.

I smelled my way to the apples tent, apple pie was my favorite type of food, I liked it with sharp chedder on top, weird I know but it does taste good, i haven't really had it that much though.

I went to where I smelled apples, and that led me to a simple apple stand, where I found none other than Applejack, I sensed that there was another pony with her, a filly to be exact.  But I was also lost in the sweet sweet smell of apples that surrounded us.

Apples hold a very special place in my heart, they were one of the few good things that the Canterlot market never ran out of, my parents never cooked for me, but apples were easy for me to cook, even though I was blind I could make apples taste very good, besides them all I really had was broiled cabbage, and though the other things that I had were very healthy for me, they tasted horrible, my parents knew nothing about spice, and even though some spices were somewhat expensive, I saved what little money I did earn to get some to flavor my apples.

As I walked up I walked up to Applejack she said in a happy tone "Well howdy, Polaris" Wow she remembered my name that was very nice "This is my sister Apple Bloom" I am sensing a pattern with the word apple in their name they seemed to be the type of family that I have always dreamed of, very close and loving

But I should not be envious of their fortune, life is determined by the way the cookie crumbles so to speak, while being blind one can wish for sight, however that will never come and you know it, and since there is nothing that you can do about it there is  no reason to get angry, that was life 

"Hello Applejack I said politely, could I have about ten apples?' Sure

"Um hello Applejack, could I have some apples too" A quite voice said behind me" It was a very soft and shy voice

"Yeah sure Fluttershy by the way this is Polaris"  AppleJack Said happily

"Hello Polaris" She said in a voice that was hard for even me to hear,this one was shy unlike the outgoing ness of the other ponies that I had met, It was most likely best for both of us that we try not to engage in any conversation with each other.

"Hello Fluttershy" I said kindly before firing up my magic to pick the proper apples

Then right as I was picking my fourth apple it happened,..I felt a spinning sensation again

I kept using my magic to inspect apples however It just got worse "Polaris are you okay?" Applejack asked, my mouth would not form the proper words to her question this time because my lungs were gasping for air, my sun glasses fell to the ground, and soon I followed them, the whole world was spinning rapidly, there was a buzzing noise that I heard, I faintly heard Applejack rip past her apple stand pushing it over to go to my aid, I could hear her cries for help, they were faint.....

Then it all blacked out 

THE END