//------------------------------// // A7 — Evening Drizzle // Story: Where Only Silver Shines // by Etyco Filly //------------------------------// “Gah, this is so bloody tight,” complained Silver from ahead of me as we crawled through the pocket. I had created it two months ago, and by now had grown accustomed to its discomfort. “Remind me why we’re going through here instead of takin’ the main entrance?” “Because the entrance is locked during the night,” answered Shade before I could open my mouth. Despite her size, she had yet to complain about the passage. “Right,” said Silver, far from convinced. Perhaps he was claustrophobic? “Precisely,” I said. “Still, I apologise for the discomfort. I would have made the pocket larger if I could. Even a tiny one such as this exhausted me so severely that I could barely walk for a week.” Silver hummed. “Was that when you said you’d caught a cold?” I nodded, then realised he could not see me. “Yes.” “It could be worse,” said Shade. “At least nothing can jump out at us.” Silver’s tail flicked. “Wouldn’t be so sure. Aurora claimed there are monsters in The Tower that take on the form of a shadow.” “I’ve read about those,” I said. “They crawl onto you when you come into contact, then sap your strength until you collapse. After that, they enter your body and consume you from the inside out.” Shade’s gasp echoed in the tunnel while Silver uncomfortably rubbed his throat. Oops. Mood killer. “This passage is safe from them, though. I made sure of that.” My remark failed to reignite the conversation, and we soon fell silent again. Not that I blamed them. Crawling made talking difficult, and we had entered the tunnel over ten minutes ago. If only I had managed a shorter pocket. One by one, with a single, quiet Word each, I removed the chains from the old ballroom’s door. Though far beyond something my mind understood, the Whispers’ intent rang clear for me. I pushed the door open and, my wings still draped over Silver and Shade, stepped into the large room. Only after closing the door did I drop our cloak of shadow. I let them look around, watching their reactions. Naturally, their stares were stuck on the dozens of what, to them, must have been equine statues made of a white marble. Moth-eaten, half-century-old streamers hung from the walls and from the mezzanine that lined all four sides. Tables stood covered in plates that had once held elaborate hors-d’oeuvres, but had long since rotted away into brown dust. “What happened here?” asked Silver, eyes wide. “A spell misfired.” I walked forward, allowing my gaze to roam the room. Though I had been so very young, the memories of that birthday, forty-seven years ago, resurfaced within the blink of an eye. None of the tables had moved. None of the guests had, either. “Or perhaps it did not. I am no longer certain of Mother’s true intentions.” Shade and Silver both blinked at me, but it was the former who asked, “How do you know?” Silver nodded. “Yeah, why would she willingly do… this? Assumin’ I'm gettin’ the whole thing right.” My cheeks warm, I stared at the ground. Why had I said that? “It is… more along the lines of wild speculation, and perhaps rather silly.” I sighed, before looking up again at the two of them. “I’ve had a long time to think; maybe she knew the spell would kill everypony, but was willing to make the sacrifice.” Shade raised an eyebrow, while Silver furrowed his brow in thought. “Is she… you know, did she…?” hesitated Silver. “Is she dead?” I tried to shrug, but it came off a little stiff. “In the usual sense of the word, at least.” Shade opened her mouth, but kept quiet upon meeting my gaze. I would explain everything soon enough. Silence again befell us as we made for the centre of the room. Perhaps there was nothing to see, but my heart longed to be here. It ached. A distant ache, dulled with time. A lonely ache, wishing to be reunited with hopes and dreams lost all these years ago. A wistful ache, nostalgic for a simpler time. I took a deep breath to clear the feeling long enough to speak up, “I know you’re wondering why I brought you here. I could have told you this back in the sarosian district, but you deserve to see.” They both looked at me with expectant eyes. “You see, I was born with an illness, rare and fatal. I’ve mentioned it to each of you, but I’ve never given detail. Ever since my birth, soft tissue has been turning to bone. Foals like me rarely experience their first birthday, nevermind their fifth.” I turned to look at the dais, where I had stood all these years ago. “Mother found an ancient spell capable of keeping the rot at bay, of slowing it down sufficiently to buy me over a decade. Unfortunately, the magic attacked everything, stunting my growth and weakening me. I would not have survived like that.” Shade and Silver stared at me, neither of them daring to interrupt. “She studied further, and by my fifth birthday, she devised a ritual: an improved version of the spell. One that was not only permanent, but also targeted, and thus less harmful to me. During the celebration, she borrowed everypony’s strength to cast it.” Silver’s lips curled into a horrified frown. “I’m… I’m so sorry to hear that. Were they your family too?” I nodded. “Everypony important enough to be invited to the heir’s first major birthday, which included most of House Fell.” For a while, we walked in utter silence, save for our steps echoing throughout the room. As I drew near the central dais, Silver asked, “If the spell didn’t work, how come you’re, well, still alive?” I turned around and tried to smile at him, only managing a grimace. “The spell did work. Even if it didn’t fully cure my disease, it made it livable, if barely.” I sat down in front of the dais, sighing and folding my ears. “Only… nopony expected the cost. Nopony was supposed to die for my sake.” Silver sat down next to me and put a leg on my withers. A moment later, Shade did the same, on my other side. “I want to cry so badly,” I whimpered, unable to look at either of them. Silver rubbed my back. “It’s okay, I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to bottle it up for so long. You can let go, just one time.” I shook my head. “I wish I could, but I’ve cried out all my tears already.” “That’s alright, too. If you just want to talk, I’m here for you. If you don’t want to talk, I’m here for you. I’m sure the same goes for Shade.” He pointed to Shade, who nodded solemnly. “Well… I merely… I don’t know. It has been so long. It is all so far away, and I do not know how to handle it. I barely even knew these ponies. I barely even knew my mother. I just… I don’t know how I’m feeling. I am sad, but also so very grateful for the opportunity they gave me. So very happy that I am alive. But I… I just don’t know.” Silver moved away to look me in the eye. “Do you feel guilty?” Soon after, Shade removed her leg as well, and I suddenly felt so very cold. “Huh? Why would I feel guilty? This was no fault of my own.” I stared at him in confusion, but my heart burned. He stared away for a few moments. When his gaze met mine, he bore a heart-wrenching, sorrowful smile. “Aunt Ferris used to have a kid. Thirty-one years older than me; died when she was just fifty. Never had a father, and we weren’t all that close.” He tried to shrug, but the stiff movement would better be described as a jerk. “Or maybe we were, and I’ve simply managed to block out all memories of her.” He shook his head. “What I’m trying to get at is how she died. She was teaching me how to track, and she made a mistake and had us attacked by a beast. On her own, she would have gotten away, but back then I didn’t know how to fly. She gave her life to save me.” He gulped. “It wasn’t my fault, not by a long shot, but that didn’t keep the guilt away. Truth is, if I hadn’t been there, she would’ve lived.” A lump formed in the pit of my stomach. He sighed, and opened his mouth multiple times before he finally found the right words. “If you hadn’t been born, if you hadn’t been sick, if your mother hadn’t chosen to save you, all these ponies would still be alive today. And yet, it still ain’t your fault.” I took a breath, but it caught in my throat. Before I knew it, tears were running down my cheeks. Silver wrapped his wing around my barrel, pulling me close. I did not hiccup, and I did not bawl. I pushed my face into his neck and quietly cried. For a short while, I almost forgot where we were. The moment was broken by Shade’s voice, the fear in it chilling me to the bone. “Arawn, Silver, I hate to worry you, but… I think one of the statues just moved.” Silver and I stared at where Shade pointed. My heart drummed in my chest, each beat stretching out for an eternity. Finally, after a dozen seconds, I let go of my breath. The statue took a step forward. My heart stopped, my fur stood on end, and I did the first, most sane thing that came to mind. I whispered a Word. Power surged through my veins; the statue crumbled to dust. Silver started, taking off. Shade gasped and, when the next statue moved, ran off, quickly disappearing behind the others. Had this forest of statues always been so dense? I tried to follow her, but one of them blocked my way. Silver turned around, airborne next to me, facing the other way. Now, every statue in sight moved; some slowly, only occasionally taking a step. Others walked forward at an alarming pace. Oh, no, no, no, no, this was bad. What could I do? I was done for, I— My eyes settled on a single statue blocking my path. I whispered another Word, and it crumbled as well, while liquid fire burned my body from the inside. Silver followed as I came to a trot, careful to keep my distance from the statues. I sped up to a canter, zigzagging between their outstretched hooves. Yet more and more of them moved, closing in on me. I dove to dash between two statues, but one raised its hoof to strike me. It was intercepted by Silver’s kick. He groaned in pain, but only knocked the swing off course a couple of hoof widths. I wasted no time, bolting the other way, looking for another gap. Damn it! I jumped onto the dais as Silver rubbed his hind ankle, muttering something about his weapons. In the distance, Shade was trying to push open the doors, left alone by the statues. My blood froze; were they drawn to me? I turned to Silver and reached out my hoof to him. “Give me your foreleg.” He hesitated for a moment, but one glance at the approaching horde changed his mind. “I don’t think I can carry you over them.” I shook my head. “That is fine.” As a statue started climbing onto the dais, I muttered another Word. Unlike the previous two, it was easy. Silver gasped as a stream of blood pierced his skin. It flowed out to form a short sword, clasped around his leg with a few braces, and finally solidified. What the fuck? he mouthed, before tapping it to the ground, curiosity and confusion painted on his face. He shook himself out of it just as the statue pulled itself onto the dais. Silver dashed to it, and cut through its outstretched foreleg with a lot more ease than anticipated, nearly losing balance mid-air. The statue fell forward as Silver returned to hover next to me. Others had already started to climb onto the dais, closing in from every side. I gulped, then tried to slow my breathing, to a decent degree of success.  Should I do the same for myself? Make a few daggers out of my blood? No. Sharp as they were, I lacked the strength to cut through an entire limb. What other spells could help? Perhaps— “There!” Silver pointed his blade at the staircase in the back of the ballroom. Few statues surrounded it, making it our best bet. Well, my best bet. I nodded and broke into a gallop. Anticipating the backlash, I whispered the Word again, and the nearest statue fell. Fire coursed through my veins. I groaned while Silver cleanly cut one’s head off. Four more, and I would have a clear path. A chill ran down my spine; already, the opening we had created had begun to close. I would pass out if I cast that spell again. I needed something else. Anything else. Maybe… Wait, would that work? I began a Sentence as I arrived vis-à-vis a larger statue. My paternal aunt. It walked towards me, heavy hoofsteps audible among the cacophony. I recited Words while I retreated, until I was almost surrounded. I gulped and dove past my aunt, just as her hoof struck the tiles, cracking them. She raised her leg to strike again, only to have it cut off by Silver’s swift slash. Damn it, Silver! Not his fault; he couldn’t know. I spoke the last few Words. Their power coursed through my veins, and the statue stopped moving. After a few moments, it turned to face the two that still blocked my passage and took a step forward. I tried to run past them, and when the left one lifted its leg to swing at me, I dove to the right, only to land face-to-face with the other statue. My heart skipped a beat while I stared at it, frozen. It brought its hoof down, but I rolled out of the way at the last moment. I failed to tuck in my head properly, hitting on the cold marble with a yelp. My hooves slid out from under me as I attempted to stand up and run. My vision blurry, my ears ringing, I lay there for just a second too long. The statue almost slammed its hoof into me, only to be tossed aside by my aunt. When I finally managed to stand up, my heart thundered in my ears, and a horrid metallic taste filled my mouth. I breathed in, spat out my excess saliva, and bolted up the stairs. A thousand flames burned my lungs with every stair, with every step. In the corner of my eye, Silver flew around to land on the mezzanine. An eternity later, I reached the top. Snap! I turned around to see my aunt, standing over the statue she had just broken, blocking the stairway. Behind me, Silver stood on his hind legs, against the railing, keeping weight off his injured ankle. “What do we do?” He was panting almost as heavily as I. “I was hopin’ we could lure them to one side, then have you run down, but they’re already starting to crowd the other staircases. Killing them ain’t complicated, but I don’t have the stamina to get rid of them all, even with this really sharp blood-sword-thing.” The mezzanine only had a dozen statues walking towards us, but that remained too many for us to handle. It would only be a matter of time before they reached us, or before my aunt gave out. Running past them would bring nothing, since we would still need to find a way down. Shade stared up at us from near the entrance, terrified and worried. Silver clicked his tongue. “Don’t know either, huh? Can you glide already? Please say yes.” I grimaced and shook my head. “Fuck,” he muttered. “What if I glided with you? Do you think your wings could handle that?” How did he already stop panting? His breathing remained heavy, but was improving by the second. “If you… give… me… five… minutes…” I managed to reply between gasps for air. We didn’t have that long. As if to prove me right, a crash echoed from downstairs. An idea crossed my mind. Risky, but our only option. “Do you trust me?” I said in a single breath. He nodded. “Brace yourself.” Hopefully this was the right choice. One Word later, he slumped against the railing as I drained his energy. Just enough to recover. It rushed through my burning veins like a glacial mountain stream, and I immediately stopped panting. “Tell me when you’re ready,” I said. He pressed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Gimme a bit.” His essence quickly started invading my thoughts, making me crave flight, making me crave the feeling of wind— “Okay, I’m ready.” Already? He flapped his wings and took to the air. I took a few steps back, coming into view of the statues climbing the stairs. “Here goes nothin’.” I ran towards the railing and helped myself jump over it with a single flap—had I always been able to do that? I spread my wings wide. Flying over the sea of statues, I was on top of the world. I was untouchable. I was free. I was… falling. My wings, unsteady, ached from the exertion. I tried flapping them, but the haphazard movement only accelerated my descent. I screamed. The forest of statues came ever closer, all of them turning to me, watching me fall. My wings burned. My heart threatened to give out. My throat throbbed painfully. Silver’s forelegs wrapped around my barrel. He slowed my descent sufficiently for me to regain enough of my bearings to stop screaming and breathe. I was back on top of the world. Wind brushed through my mane and fur, Silver’s heartbeat tickled my skin, and the smell of sweat filled my nostrils. For an eternal second, I forgot where I was. I reached the ground, and Silver let go of me at the last moment. My momentum overwhelmed me. I nearly tripped as I landed awkwardly on my ankle. Statues, still several paces away, continued to slowly, steadily close in. I winced but kept running, favouring my injured leg. So close. Silver reached Shade, and the two of them joined efforts in pushing the door, but to no avail. It had not gotten stuck when I had closed it, had it? I thought a Word, and a red glow spread around the double doors. I poured more and more effort into pushing them, but they refused to budge. Statues continued their approach. “Silver? Can you buy me a few seconds?” He nodded and darted off. “Shade, help me. Push.” Better than nothing. Immediately, I started whispering, blood threatening to boil inside me. I took a look over my shoulder at Silver, slashing away at the nearest statues. After failing to decapitate one, he started aiming for their legs instead. I shook my head. No distractions. I finished the spell, and the door swung open in one fell swoop, resonating throughout the corridor and the ballroom alike. Shade stumbled outside. Veins scorched and lungs on fire, I trotted through the door, Silver and Shade in tow. Thankfully, the statues were too slow to catch up to us before I closed the doors. To my surprise, it was nearly effortless. I tied the chains back over the door and waited. My heart beat once. Twice. Thrice.  They started pounding on the door. Strong as they were, the marble stood stronger. After a dozen seconds, the pounding stopped. I let go of my breath, slumped, and fell on my rump, before flopping on my stomach and letting out a long sigh. So did Silver. I could not tell which of us smiled first, but soon we started giggling like foals. Sweaty, bruised, beaten and bloody, we laughed. His laugh was light, almost high-pitched, and occasionally broken by a snort as he failed to breathe properly. Mine came from the gut, until it devolved into squeaking. It was embarrassing, but I could not stop. My laughter died in my throat when my eyes fell on Shade, who was watching us with horribly sad eyes. I dragged myself towards her, before pulling her into a hug with my wing. She remained tense. I whispered, “I am sorry, Shade. If I had known this would be dangerous, I would not have brought you along. I should have made sure it was safe before risking your lives.” She relaxed in the embrace, mumbling, “It’s not that. I was just… so scared. So scared that these things would come after me. I wasn’t thinking of helping you at all. All I was hoping was that you’d distract them long enough for me to flee.” Tears hit the marble beneath her. “That’s okay,” said Silver. “You ain’t a fighter, and you ain’t supposed to be. Anypony would’ve reacted like you in that situation.” “He is right,” I added. “And if you had stayed with us, we would have had to look out for you.” “I guess…” She sighed. After a while, she shook her head. “We should go back. I need some time to think about it all, and some time to calm down. These white walls will give me nightmares.” Silver and I sat at the edge of our cliff. A fall would still kill me, especially since my wings were again wrapped and covered, but the void no longer sucked me in; no longer begged me to walk over the edge like a predator luring its prey. One day, I would glide down. One day. I craved being airborne. Every second on the ground was too long a wait. I’d never experienced the feeling, but I craved it. Needed it. Couldn’t imagine life without it. Soon, I’d be able to do it on my own. I knew it from the strength in my wings. Just a smidge more training, and I’d learn to glide. Just— “Whatcha thinking about?” asked Silver. “You’re kinda starin’ off into blank space.” Damn it, stupid drain spell. Whatever remained of his essence in me must have woken up at the thought of gliding. “Flying.” I sighed. “Those ten or so airborne seconds in the ballroom, they have made me realise just what I had missed, and what I will probably never have.” Silver blinked. “What do you mean? You were almost gliding. A bit more training, and you’ll have the hang of it. We both know this ain’t your limit.” “I mean that I will probably never fly. Gliding is one thing, flying is another.” He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “I know, I know. It is too early to be pessimistic about it all, but I am in that kind of mood.” He shifted closer, eyes encouraging me to continue. I swallowed. “I am… unsure of what to do. I wanted to give you two some context for The Tower’s current state.” I stared at the cliff’s edge, scowling. “Instead, I almost got myself and the two of you killed.” “Arawn.” I turned to look at him. His eyes were kind and forgiving, as always. “It ain’t your fault. You couldn’t have known.” My ears wilted. “I should have been more careful.” I shook my head, biting my lip to stop tears. “Besides that, I should have told you to run when I realised the statues were after me, but it never even crossed my mind.” I stared at the ground in front of him. “I took your loyalty for granted; did not even stop to consider you would want to live.” There. It was out. Sooner or later, he would have realised it anyway. Realised that I had used him, that— “As you should.” My head whipped up, and my ears stood straighter than I thought possible. I gaped at him. “I mean it. I’m your friend, and I’ll always have your back. I don’t want you to ever question that, not even for a heartbeat.” A fiery determination burned in his eyes as he reiterated, “Take my loyalty for granted, because it is.” Words caught in my throat. So many things I wanted to say, yet none of them were appropriate. Instead, I kissed him. It only lasted a brief eternity. When my mind caught up with my body, I panicked, backing up. Silver’s mouth hung open as he stared at a point far behind me. “Ahgwah?” was all he managed to say before I started rambling. “Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just kind of forgot to think, and I swear I didn’t mean anything by it and—” I cut myself off, then shook my head. “No, that is not what I should be saying.” I took a deep breath, holding onto my courage with all four hooves. “I apologise for kissing you without asking, Silver.” I gulped. “The truth is, I think I am in love with you.” He stared at me, mouth agape. Silent, shocked, unmoving. I smiled. “There are so many great things I love about you. Your willingness to stand up for complete strangers, how hard you work for your goals, how you treat your friends, and your seemingly unbounded optimism are the first things that come to mind.” I smiled. Once I started, I could not stop. “But there are also so many little things: the way you rub your neck when embarrassed, your laugh, your accent. So many tiny, insignificant things.” Tears were threatening to spill. Tears of relief, of happiness, or tears of worry? “But I know…” I tried to keep my smile, but it turned into an uncomfortable grimace. “But I know that we should not; that we could not ever be together. Truly together. Not with how things are right now.” I clenched my jaw as a single sob escaped me, tears rolling down my cheeks. “And I know it would be hard. I know I could never impose this choice on you.” I sniffed, swallowed, and braced myself. “Thus I swear on everything I hold dear, I will not hold your decision against you. Whether you feel the same or not.” “I…” mumbled Silver. We stared at each other in silence. Each second stretched into eternity. He kept opening his mouth. Every time, my heart stopped. Every time, he stayed silent. He would look at me, then avert his gaze again. I waited. Every moment passing by, I grew more certain of his answer, yet every heartbeat raised my hopes further. Finally, his lips curled into a horrible, heartbroken smile. “I can’t, Arawn, I’m sorry.” He tore his gaze away from mine, tears in his eyes, and turned away. “I need to go,” he muttered. And so he left.