//------------------------------//
// 4 - Deck Militia 
// Story: My Little Rogue Trader 
// by Tyrannosaurus_Tux 
//------------------------------//

Think, Edo. Think. What would you, the Rogue Trader, do? But that's the problem, isn't it? I don't know what I should do. What you would do... Old Edo? I needed more time. I looked at Steel Mane, the unicorn, and asked, earnestly, "Are the other Quartermasters a part of your plan?"

Grinning sheepishly, Steel admitted, "N-No, not yet, but with your backing, they'll come flocking to us in no time!" I rubbed my face. Silly mare. Silly, silly mare. I looked to Twilight Sparkle, who stayed still, hooves still covering her head, eyes locked onto mine. She's waiting for the word to attack, even as blood drips down her face. She wasn't out of the fight at all. I took a couple of deep breaths. They're all loyal to me. I can still get a handle on the situation. 

I asked, eyes burrowing into Steel. "Did you hit Twilight Sparkle?" 

With a quivering jaw, Steel nodded, saying, "It's... it's necessary to make sure anyone who can hurt you are punished for their... their complicity!" I look her over. She used her magic to adjust her beret. I can see her... rifle? Her weapon at her side, ready for... use. My heart beat all the faster. Whatever I need to do has to happen quickly, or else more people will come and make this situation even more complicated. Think, Old Edo. Tell me what I should do, Old Edo. Please.

"Lord Captain," Steel pleaded. "Please." I look her over again. Her eyes are tearing up. She's stood right in front of my wheelchair. 

A thought comes to my head, unbidden. Her uniform is probably just as soft as she is. That... that might work. That'll do. 

I placed my hands on my wheels and pushed. Before anyone, even Twilight could react, I grabbed Steel and pinned her to me in a bear hug. I had one hand on her back, and the other on her weapon... my brain itched. A Hassia-pattern lasgun. A laser gun? I'm thankful Steel didn't try shooting Twilight with it. I don't know what I would've done, then. My thoughts were interrupted by a new sound.

Steel was sobbing. She wrapped her hooves around me with a death grip and buried her face in my shoulder. A man approached, also wearing a beret, and with mist in his eyes. He had gray eyes and gray hair, with his mutton mustache streaked with white. I lifted the lasgun up and said, softly, "Take this." He nodded and undid the strap at one end of the weapon, slowly pulling it from between Steel and me. She barely noticed, still distraught. I looked towards Twilight Sparkle, who had stood up, but looked at Steel Mane as if she could burn a hole into her skull with her eyesight alone, still holding a hoof to her head.

Hell, maybe she could. Old Edo would know, but I'm not him, am I? 

I turned back to the old man, and asked, "Quartermaster...?"

He nodded, as he passed the lasgun to a... brain itch. Diamond dog and her wide paws. He said, with a weariness beyond even his years, "Quartermaster Lart, Rogue Trader. Our family has served you for a long time." I blinked. I didn't need even more surprises right now.

"Quartermaster," I said aloud. "You're all dismissed." He nodded and rallied the fighters under his command with a hand wave. They departed the Temple to Nature in a quiet, orderly fashion. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. I ran my hand through Steel Mane's silky smooth hair. Guess she wasn't exaggerating. I allowed myself a chuckle through the nose. I looked up to see that the other Princesses had descended upon Twilight Sparkle, with cloths and bandaging. Guess part of their uniform included first aid kits or something. 

Steel Mane, meanwhile, was still inconsolable. She had even begun to repeat, "I'm sorry", miserably. I could do little but rub a hand through her mane. I breathed in through my nose, and out through my mouth. I leaned back in my wheelchair, allowing myself some time to get my poor little heart to calm down. The fresh...fresh-ish air helped. Suddenly, the mare in my arms stiffens up, and begs, "What was I thinking? Please don't hurt my family... please..." Her voice could barely speak, even as she pleaded. 

I... could do that? Was she thinking I was gonna kill her? Her loved ones? I looked to the Princesses, with only Twilight reacting with any sort of anger. Though even this, with my meeting her eyes, seemed to fade. She closed her eyes and nodded. She trusted me. I... I felt my cheeks getting wet. 

I took a deep breath, then cleared my throat. "Quartermaster Steel Mane," I said. "I'm not going to hurt your family." 

Sniffing, the mare finally left my shoulder, eyes red and nose runny. She looked at me with defeated eyes. "I'm going..." I said, uncertain, "To ask that you be confined... to the brig for a month." I looked at Princess Twilight, who was curious as to what my decision would be. "And then, I will ask you to be Twilight's attendant for three months. Does that sound fair?"

Steel Mane nodded. "Good," I said. "Dismissed." with shaky legs, she leaped off of me and departed the Terrarium. Princess Silver Sword trotted up to me with a handkerchief suspended in magic and started to rub it against my messy shoulder. I was almost numb to the feeling, even as the feeling of adrenaline slowly left my body. I waited until I heard the sound of a closing door, and then I let out a hollering whoop. I rubbed my nose and allowed a grin to creep across my face. Of course, everyone around, even the young ones was taken aback by my sudden outburst. I laughed, looking at the Princesses, "Not bad a job so far, huh?"  

I laughed. That could've gone so poorly. Twilight Sparkle shook her head, a smile likewise creeping onto her face, no longer bleeding. "You know," she teased. "You're not going to be able to hug away all your problems." 

I raised a finger. She had a point. "Probably," I admitted while lowering my hand. "But this one?" I pointed my finger upwards again. I laughed some more, slapping my knees, and leaning to the side. I looked up towards the distant stained glass ceilings. The kids raced around my wheelchair, chattering and hollering and laughing about the Rogue Trader and his bravery and mercy. A bit much, but I can take what I can get at this point. 

Cherry Heart walked up to my left side and nuzzled my face. She said, fondly, "As quick on your... hm, feet as you ever were, Edo."

I leaned over and... gave Cherry a quick kiss. "Hope you don't mind," I said. 

She giggled. "If you can solve problems with hugs, I won't say 'no', Lord Captain."

Meadow Char, the kirin walked up to me. She bowed, and said, "Blessed be the peacekeeper, Rogue Trader." 

I nodded, then slapped the armrests of the wheelchair. "Why don't you give me a proper tour of this place, Meadow? I'd like to see all I can."

Smiling, the kirin responded, "I would love nothing more."





I sat in the wheelchair, still. It was... a little less humiliating now. I was back in the Captain's Quarters, in one of the rooms I hadn't yet... refamiliarized myself with.  I held a green leaf from one of the trees in my right hand. A real leaf. I felt its texture between my fingers. Real trees in a starship. Everyone else around me had more or less taken this for granted, but I was given... unique perspective now. I might even order more plants around the ship. Sure, it would likely require more resources than I should commit... maybe, but greenery? Might be worth it. I lean back. Perhaps there already was, around the halls. I just haven't seen anything beyond the bridge and the Temple to Nature. 

I look around again, appreciating this personal space of mine. It was a living room, to be sure. On one end, I could see a fireplace, unlit, but crowned with a grand piece of artwork of myself, looking at me with a grand, superior smirk. As if he knew. I look around to the tall library that lines both sides of the room, and the grand chandelier that hangs over the center of the room. Most interestingly, though, are the colorful hammocks that hang from the ceiling. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who those are for, especially not with a few already containing napping Princesses.  

I chuckle. I look behind myself, at yet another computer terminal desk, with a giant chair for myself, and many more around the desk, with another window to space behind that. I saw several flags around the desk, but I didn't recognize them... for now. Instead, I looked towards the bookshelf closest to me and rolled up to it. Naturally, I didn't recognize the titles of many of the books, a lot of which seemed to have to do with my comings, goings, and doings as a Rogue Trader. That'll be handy, I think. I picked one at random, one called, "Rogue Trader von Hassia Comes to Moon Rock". I looked at the cover, at the artwork on the book. It was of a crowd of griffons and humans, marveling and pointing towards a round mountain, pockmarked by craters like a... well, moon. Above that mountain, suspended mid-air, was my voidship. Like a flying cathedral with a prow, engines, and guns. Looks about right, from what I've seen so far.

I opened the book and looked at the many illustrations. I was so engrossed with what the story detailed through drawings that I did not immediately realize that this is... essentially a children's book but in a very stylized, fancy format. Even the opening lines should have been a clue, "Once upon a time, on the world of Moon Rock... the races of men and griffons lived together, but not in harmony. Then, one day, the Auric Rogue Trader Edo von Hassia visited Moon Rock on his magical ship."

Auric? Another term I could ask about. My brain itched, but nothing was forthcoming. More or less satisfied with what I saw, I closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. Immediately after, however, another book caught my attention. 

"What it's Like to Be a Pony," it read. I looked up to the sleeping forms of Cherry, Silver, Azure, and Forest, and I looked back to the book. I picked it up, somewhat heftier than the last, I noticed. However, when I got it onto my lap and opened it up, I realized that it was not a real book or tome at all, but a container. Inside the hollow space where the pages would ordinarily go, there sat, in a cotton sleeve, a golden medallion with a golden chain. I pulled out the medallion, chain links clinking and saw the decorative stones and carvings set into it. Most prominently was the carving of half a man's outline, alongside that with the outline of half a pony. 

"What it's Like to Be a Pony", I said, in a whisper. Surely, this wasn't... no way. But what if it was...? I flipped over the medallion to see the other side. There, written in black marker, were the words, "Do not wear for more than 2 weeks. ~TS". I then turned it around to look at the engravings again. Well, nothing for it.

I took a deep breath, took the chain in both my hands, and raised it over my head. Letting the chain go, I picked up the medallion in my hoof and looked at the engravings again while I waited for my hypothesis to come true or not. 

Wait, hoof? I dropped the medallion, where it bounced against the barrel of my sage green-furred torso. I was... naked. Naked and a pony. I froze, placing my front hooves on the seat of my wheelchair. Something on my back itched, so I leaned forward and stretched my back. I definitely stretched something else, too, because I felt something unfurl. I looked, and my wings... my wings were in tatters. Broken feathers, sprained limbs. I raised my eyebrows, finally noticing that my wounds seemed to have carried over, if not my clothing. I tried to control my breathing. Tried to relax. I accidentally made a horse sound, but a glance at my little Princesses revealed that they were, indeed, in a deep sleep. 

I noticed, finally, that the the book itself held a mirror, as if it knew what I would want to see next. Blue eyes stared back at me, framed by a blonde mane and a... a dang spiraling horn. I looked up, and there enough, sat a pointy, bony extrusion. Does this mean I could do magic? I flexed, experimentally trying to find the right muscles before my wings folded to my side again. 

I bit my tongue, focusing. Maybe if I tried to reach an object through my horn, like grasping with a ghostly hand... a blue aura surrounded the book, startling me. It... it did move! It's just like riding a bicycle! You never really forget! I couldn't help but grin. I looked over myself, again. I thought came to my head, and I looked at my flank. Sure enough, I had a... a cutie mark! But... it was just the Hassian crest. I looked to my other side, and there it sat, on the other flank. I didn't know what I was expecting... hell of a first day for me. 

I lost my memory, woke up on a spaceship, got re-introduced to my p-p-pony wives, stopped a mutiny before it could get out of hoof... hand, and now I'm sitting here, changed into a pony. If this is my life was like before, maybe all the excitement short-circuited my poor brain. I stood up on all fours, puffed out my tuft, and looked as majestic as I could. My wings itched. Maybe I should try flying now. All the worst-case scenarios popped into my head... but flying now! I flapped my wings as hard as I dared, not expecting much, but I leaped six feet into the air! 

My breath seized in my throat, legs and back curled up, but I focused. I flapped again, and again. My wings hurt, so I settled for a slow descent instead of a hover. As soon as my hooves could reach the wheelchair again, I stuck a landing. The wheelchair objected louder than I would've liked. I looked to see Silver stir a bit, then return to sleep. I sat back down, pretending to be regal. I extended a hoof. "You may kiss the royal hoof," I said to myself, exaggerating the rolled "r"s. I giggled. I heard the door open on the lift. I sat back on the chair. Maybe they wouldn't notice. Instead of hoof steps, like I thought, I heard the marching of dragon feet.

I saw Seneschal Spike stomp around the corner, and lock his intense green eyes with mine. I also saw Polarscale, right on his heels. Spike momentarily paused whatever it was he was about to say just to remark at me. I took this opportunity and grinned, saying, with a sing-song voice and a waving hoof, "Hi! I'm sure the Lord Captain is around here, somewhere!" For effect, I exaggeratedly looked around the room.

Spike glanced at Polarscale, who rubbed his forehead with a clawed hand. "He found the amulet," noted Polarscale. 

Sighing, Spike confirmed, "He found the amulet." He turned back me, and approached, saying, "Lord Captain, I should've been informed about the attempted mutiny before you went back to your quarters!"

"Oh, that?" I asked, inspecting a hoof, and marveling at all the ways I can twist and turn it. I looked back to Spike and said, "I took care of it." 

Stammering, Spike retorted, waving his arms, "There are rules! Procedures! I didn't spend all that time at the Terran Naval Academy to have all this be blown off by—"

"I'm sorry," I interrupted with a sigh. "I did what I thought was best." I looked down, only for Spike to place a hand on my shoulder. 

Softly, Spike said, "You could've been hurt. Twilight was hurt. I nearly..." He sighed. "Quartermaster Steelmane reported to the brig, locked herself into one of the empty cells, and cried herself to sleep. I had to find out just what happened from the other Quartermasters, and only one of them knew what happened."

I breathed. "Sorry, Spike," I apologized again. Then, I smiled. "Hm," I thought. "Next time there's a surprise mutiny, I'll be sure to bring you along."

Spike, trying to remain serious, scolded me with a finger, saying, "Oh, no. You don't get to joke your way out of this, Lord Captain."

I sat up straight, pointed to Spike with a hoof, and declared, with a straight face,  "You cannot be mad at me, Seneschal Spike. I am a cute pony now, and you cannot be mad at cute ponies."

I saw Polarscale cover his mouth with a hand. I heard, faintly, "Machine God, grant me strength-h-h." He had laughed. I won. Spike just snorted and took my precious medallion and my book. I tried to snatch it back with my fingers, but Spike had already placed the medallion back inside of its cover and placed the tome on one of the higher shelves. 

You dare use your vertical advantage over me, Seneschal? Perhaps that was the real mutiny all along. I folded my arms. Spike ignored my pout and said, professionally, "We'll be commencing warp translation soon, Lord Captain. We translated out during the attack, but we need to translate back in if we're going to get to our destination. Enginseer Prime?" 

Nodding, Polarscale withdrew a device from his robe and handed it to me. the face of it was a metallic rendering of the Hassian crest, and on the back were gizmos and doodads that I couldn't make heads or cogs of. 

"Lord Captain," said Polarscale. "This is a refractor shield. You may turn it on at any time. It will protect you while we are commencing warp translation. We've temporarily increased Gellar protection, but vigilance is always superior to tragedy."

I saw a loop where it would fit on my belt that I wear over my coat and a switch. As I turned it on, I saw and felt a momentary shimmer around me. I heard the elevator doors open again, and I saw more guards come in, brandishing bigger guns this time. They all wore similar uniforms and more substantial-looking armor pieces. A name emerges in my head. Is this my Mercator Guard? My Princesses were rousing, and they all took their own positions around me. 

What's warp translation, and why is everybody so terrified?