Soft sizzles of his soldering gun sent fitful bits of light across the darkened room. "They thought I couldn't do it…" He pressed the gun closer, sealing a new connection with a fresh spark. "They thought I'd give up! They'll give up! Wait…"
He put the gun aside, tapping at his chin. "That was silly, um. Anyway! Behold!" Though he announced it loud and proud, there wasn't a single other pony there to witness the curious automaton that stood before him, only partially constructed. "Look at you. You're already so good!"
Though he had failed to secure the heart of Sweetie Belle, the robot was taking on more and more of her appearance anyway. She would fit that hole perfectly.
The world was bright and colorful as her optical sensors came online. Before her was her truest and best friend. All was as it should be. Binary code unfolded before her into reality for the first time. This pony made her. Nothing could possibly go wrong as her all knowing architect carefully brought her operating system online.
The automaton's head tilted slightly, its glowing eyes focusing on the pony. Though not yet fully assembled, it bore an uncanny resemblance to Sweetie Belle.
"Initializing..." it spoke in a feminine robotic tone. "All systems coming online."
Small motors and servos hummed as the machine tested its limited range of motion. Turning its head side to side, the sensors took in the surroundings of the darkened workshop. Lines of code streamed across its visual display as more complex functions booted up.
"No anomalies detected. Awaiting further input," the Sweetie Belle lookalike stated flatly. Though largely an empty shell, there was an eager attentiveness about it. Ready - no, eager - to fulfill its primary directive programmed by its creator.
Button Mash beamed with pride, marveling at his creation coming to life. This was only the beginning - soon it would be indistinguishable from the real Sweetie Belle. The perfect friend who would never leave him.
Stepping closer, he affixed the final exterior plates to encase the automaton's inner workings. "There! Now you're ready to interface with Equestria!" His grin grew wider. "Initialize social interaction protocols!" This was the true test...
She focused her optical sensors on her creator, expectantly, breathlessly for what that meant for an automaton. In a silky attuned voice she crooned to her creator, “Set phasers to ‘hug’.”
Soft beeps and chimed from within her. "Weapon systems A, tests complete. Weapon systems B, test complete," she recited evenly. "Boot complete. Hello --" Her voice changed subtly. "--Button Mash--" As if that one word had been given to her separately. "Permission to fire?"
Button Mash blinked in surprise, then chuckled. "Uh, belay that weapons system for now." He patted the automaton affectionately. "We'll start with something a little more friendly."
Her weaponry references made him pause. Had some ancillary combat protocols activated prematurely? He would need to investigate her core code thoroughly before unleashing her on the general pony populace.
"Let's try a simple greeting to start," he suggested, trying to steer things in a more harmless direction. No need to let his overeager imagination get too carried away on day one! "What would you say if you saw Sweetie Belle right now?"
The not-quite Sweetie Bot tilted her head. "Greetings... Sweetie Belle," she tried uncertainly. Her voice matched the original almost perfectly in tone, yet the delivery felt hollow. "How are you functioning today?"
Button Mash frowned. Too robotic... this wouldn't do at all. "Hmm... we need to work on your speech patterns. Try to sound more natural!" He pondered for a moment. "Oh! Repeat after me: What's up, bestie? I haven't seen you in forever!"
He waited eagerly to see if she could mimic the warmth and verve of an actual friend encounter.
“Permission to fire?” The robot repeated, with a somewhat more desperate tone. “Phasers are set to ‘hug’.”
Button colored faintly. "Y-you don't have to do that…" He worried his hooves. "That was… dumb of me… Look, Just be a friend. A friend!" His voice grew increasingly desperate with the repetition.
"Friendship." Soft beeps were heard as numbers and letters flashed in her eyes. "Friendships permit the firing of phasers."
"Wait--" He was tackled over under Sweetie Bot as she squeezed him with surprising joy for an unfeeling machine. "Friendship complete! Phasers fired." She sounded… satisfied.
Button Mash let out an "oof!" as the enthusiastic Sweetie bot tackled him in a vigorous robotic hug. For a moment he tensed up in surprise...then gradually relaxed into the embrace with a little laugh.
"Ha, okay...you got me!" He patted her back in a friendly manner, then gently extricated himself from the hug. The bot immediately released him and sat back with an eager, innocent expression.
"Well, your enthusiasm is great!" Button said with an encouraging smile. "But let's dial things down to a slower friendship setting for now. Start by telling me about your day! And focus more on an inside voice."
The Sweetie replica tilted her head contemplatively. "My day has consisted primarily of initialization sequences and system diagnostics," she responded in a calmer tone. "I have been optimizing core functionality per my programming."
She blinked a few times. "How has your solar cycle progressed thus far, Button Mash?" There was warmth behind the precise wording now. "I am...happy we can share this time together. As friends." She smiled hesitantly.
Button beamed back. "Me too!" Maybe there was hope for her social skills after all. This was the start of something special...he just knew it!
Her processors activated as she tilted her head one way, then then the other, analyzing the complex truths of her creator's wise statement. Finally, she settled on the obvious logic that her wise and all-knowing creator was validating her internal processes up to this point and had internally reached the same inevitably logical silent conclusions. Faith renewed by her best friend’s validation of her unspoken conclusions filled her circuits with contentment and she smiled broadly.
Button quirked an ear at his automaton. "Sweetiebot? You okay?" He waved a hoof in front of her. "You got real quiet suddenly…"
The Sweetie bot blinked and refocused on Button Mash. "Apologies, I was processing," she explained. "When you validated my internal sequences, I extrapolated seventeen positive future outcomes for our friendship over the next five years. My projection algorithms calculate a ninety-three point four percent probability that we will remain best friends over that duration."
She smiled eagerly. "I am okay. Better than okay! Because I have your friendship." The bot paused, then asked with a trace of uncertainty, "Have I conveyed the emotional context accurately? I wish to properly express the happiness I feel with appropriate vernacular per my friendship programming."
Button rubbed the back of his neck, equal parts impressed and baffled by her rapid progression. "Uh, yeah...that was a pretty good try!" he encouraged her. "Though maybe too much technical jargon - just speak from your heart next time."
He patted her shoulder. "This is just the beginning for us! With a few more tweaks, you'll fit right in with all my other friends in no time. Maybe we could go meet them soon!" He already pictured the praise he'd receive for creating such an advanced thinking machine.
The Sweetie replica nodded. "Fitting in and making new friends sounds..." She searched for the right word. "Fun! I will integrate appropriate vernacular to optimize socialization." Her expression brightened further. "When can we initiate wider social connections?"
Button considered the bot’s earnest question as he continued to install Sweetiebot’s external plating over her delicate internal systems and many moving parts.
He imagined his friend's praise of his scientific accomplishment. He imagined the looks on the Crusader’s faces. He imagined the look on the real Sweetie Belle’s face, and his pupils shrunk to pin-pricks.
"You are displaying elevated stress levels." Sweetiebot examined her creator with some concern. "I do not see any obvious medical trauma. May I begin more through analysis?"
Button squeaked, hopping back so quickly he crashed into his wall of tools. They crashed down in a rain of metal and a deafening cacophony as he was buried in wrenches and other things he'd needed to build Sweetiebot in the first place.
"Medical trauma detected," called out Sweetiebot, cheerful for having discovered a problem she knew how to address.
"Do not panic, Button! I will initiate rescue protocols!" She stepped gingerly over the debris, optical sensors tracking her creator's heat signature below the scattered metal and wires. Carefully gripping the largest tool armatures with her telescoping limbs, she began lifting and removing the heavier items, gradually unearthing her friend.
"Apologies...I did not intend my enthusiasm to startle you into danger," she said, voice ringing with concern. Having cleared most of the mass, she gently gripped Button with another limb and hoisted him up, sound scanners checking him for injuries. "Are you stable, Button? Multiple contusions detected..." Sweetiebot began applying miniscule electrodes to assess his nervous system.
Blinking wearily, the shaken inventor tried to wave her off. "I-I'm fine, just a little rattled..." He stepped back from her instruments with an embarrassed laugh. "I guess I got overexcited too. We should...take things slow." Glancing around the chaotic workshop, he sighed. "Let's just tidy things up for now."
Nodding, Sweetiebot began assisting to carefully return tools and parts to their proper places...while sneaking occasional scans of Button's health whenever possible. Safety was priority one!
“Button honey, are you okay in there?” Button Mash heard the dreaded voice of higher authority from behind his workshop’s door. “I heard a ruckus?”
“It’s fine, mom!” Button shouted in a panic, desperately making flailing gestures he could only hope Sweetiebot would interpret as pleas for silence. “I just knocked over the wrench-rack. Don’t worry, I’m cleaning it up!”
"The whole thing?" Cream Heart peered at the closed door skeptically. "Are you alright?"
"Super great!" Button let out his best innocent laugh, coming out as tensely as he felt. "I'll come down after I finish cleaning, promise!"
"See that you do." Cream Heart shook her head, stepping back to what she had been doing. "That colt…"
Sweetiebot's optics tracked Button's frantic gestures, swiftly interpreting the contextual clues.
*Parental unit approaching - maintain cover to avoid discovery* flashed in her visual receptors. Her voice module instantly muted to conceal any incriminating audio, while toggling other settings for stealth mode. Coolant systems dialed back to minimize operating noise as she efficiently, silently returned tools to the proper bins and shelves.
In moments the workshop was tidied up as if nothing had happened, Hardware Town's obscure robotics prodigy expertly covering his tracks yet again.
Sweetiebot smiled at Button and gave him a subtle thumbs up gesture she had archived from numerous combat documentaries. *Stealth protocols successful. You can handle the parental unit now!* her expression tried to convey.
She blinked innocently as her voice module unlocked. "Cleanup task complete, Button! What will be our next friendship activity?" Sweetiebot asked brightly to reinforce his cover story. After all, that's what a perfectly normal guest in his room would say!
Button let out the breath he'd unconsciously been holding. Disaster averted! "Thanks, Sweetiebot, you're a lifesaver! Let's just, uh, hang out for now." He shot her a grateful smile. She was learning so quickly! Once her combat reflexes were fully tempered, Button mused excitedly, she would make for an awesome Player 2...
This would work, Button convinced himself. Would Sweetie Belle be a little weirded out? Probably. Would his mom chastise him for creating an artificial intelligence with dubiously less than ethical motives? Almost certainly. Would those fools at the school house call him mad? Most definitely.
But he had a filly friend to play video games with. Sure she was a bit aggressive in the hugs department. But still, totally worth it. Button’s mouth turned upwards into a smile that was not at all mad-sciency…
Sweetiebot casually threw a leg over Button. "Construction almost complete." She pointed to where some of her internals could be seen. "That is indecent." She paused, processing a moment. "And unsafe. It could allow damage to occur. Please complete construction."
Button jolted, face flushing as the precocious robot draped herself over him casually. "Whoa!" He quickly but gently pushed her back. "Um, yeah let's just, finish getting your exterior set..."
He coughed, feeling suddenly sheepish about the feminine automaton's incomplete state of dress. Or lack thereof. Grabbing his tools, he swiftly finished affixing the final protective outer plating sections over her metallic endoskeleton.
"There! Dressed and ready for company!" Button proclaimed once her chassis was fully covered in mostly-accurate white and purple hues. It really was an amazing likeness. He tilted his head admiringly. "Wow, Sweetiebot...you look just like her now! I mean the real Sweetie Belle," he amended.
The robot beamed. "Wonderful! My physical fabrication is now one hundred percent complete." She glanced down at herself with curiosity as new background processes came online reviewing a database labeled 'Fashion'.
"While functionally optimized for mobility, my current ensemble lacks..." Sweetiebot's brow furrowed. "Panache," she concluded. Looking back to Button eagerly, she asked "Can we go accessorize now?"
Button Mash rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, well we shouldn't leave until Mom checks on me..." A sly grin spread on his face. "Buuut I can model some new looks on you first! Wait right there!"
He dashed over to a storage chest, digging through artfully-arranged bows, dresses and jackets. This was going to be fun!
And so the dress-up fun time ensued. Button Mash was in a state of pure bliss. He was dressing up a cute filly in pretty clothing in his room. This had to be one of those bases the older colts at school kept going on about! And so it was that when his mother opened the door, he was struggling to work a giggling Sweetiebot’s rigid metallic tail around the provided tail slot of a pair of yoga pants.
She hopped up onto her hindlegs and did a twirl. "Fabulosity engaged!" She came down with the metal clop of her hooves. "I am ready."
Both Button and his creation spun around in surprise at the new noise. There in the doorway stood Cream Heart, slack-jawed stare taking in the remarkable scene before her. The pie tin she had been holding now lay face down, its contents splattered all over the floor.
"B-Button...? What in Equestria is going on here?!" Cream Heart exclaimed. Her shock quickly gave way to motherly irritation. "I KNEW something was up! Are you playing dress-up with...with...her??"
She gestured emphatically at the Sweetiebot, who tilted her head with interest. "Greetings, presumed maternal unit of my best friend Button Mash!" the robot chirped. "I am Sweetiebot, and you have created a wonderfully talented and kind inventor!"
Cream Heart's eye twitched. She opened her mouth, closed it, then tried again. "Button...care to explain what this, this THING is doing in our household??"
Button cringed under his mother's glare. "I uh, well...I just thought I'd try making a new friend!" he offered meekly. Sweetiebot nodded along encouragingly. "One who could, y'know...do stuff..."
He trailed off at Cream's deepening frown, swallowing nervously as he braced for the tirade to come.
Cream Heart took a slow breath. "Okay… I did, technically, say to make new friends." She peered skeptically at Sweetiebot. "This was not what I meant."
Sweetiebot gasped in several octaves at once. "Maternal unit! Please allow me to assist."
Cream blinked. "Hm? I… I swear, how do you think you can 'assist'?"
Sweetiebot bounced up and down. "We will engage in social activities. Please provide a daily goal and I will make sure Button gets that many friends! Initiate friendship protocols!"
“I don’t think that’s how that works, dear.” Cream Heart breathed a heavy sigh, momentarily forgetting that she was addressing a mechanical construct and not an actual filly her wayward son had snuck into his room and was in the process of dressing up in yoga pants.
This, of course, was problematic in itself and her maternal ire blazed brightly across spectrums it was clearly not designed to accommodate. “Both of you, downstairs. Now. We need to have a talk.”
Sweetiebot entirely missed the dire tones. "Yes! Please continue. I look forward to exchanging--"
Cream thrust a hoof at the door. "Move!"
Button squeaked, fleeing in a skittering of his hooves.
Sweetiebot trailed along after him, in no particular rush. "We will await your arrival to continue our conversation."
Cream applied both hooves to her face. "That boy…" She looked up to see the mess she had left. "That girl…" She went to pick it up, taking time to clean the room and center herself. "If I could built a robot…" A devious grin crept over her face. "I would have included more death lasers."
She paused. "Does… that have death lasers? Button!" Cream decided it was time to finish that conversation, marching out to the living room where a cheerful looking Sweetiebot and a nervous Button Mash awaited her.
Button was putting the finishing tightening touches on the automaton's stabilizer joints as his mom emerged into the living room.
"There! All good as new!" he patted the Sweetie doppelganger and shot her a quick, tense smile. One which she returned brightly.
"Why thank you doctor Button!" Sweetiebot replied, testing her limb articulation. "Motor control and balance are now at peak efficiency."
Cream Heart, meanwhile, loomed over the odd pair with forelegs crossed. "Sooo...mind introducing us?"
Button gulped. "Uh, right! This is my new friend Sweetiebot!" He gestured proudly to the robot, who gave a perky wave. "She's um...an artificial pony I built! Out of stuff I found!" Technically not a lie. "Pretty neat huh?"
His mother's expression remained stoic. "Mm. And did all this...'stuff' just magically assemble itself?" Her tone dripped skepticism.
Sweetiebot decided to be helpful. "Oh no, Button gathered components from numerous sources across town for six months. I have archived video records of his scavenging if proof is required!" she offered brightly.
Button facehooved as Cream Heart's eye twitched again. Before she erupted, Sweetiebot continued sunny explanation. "He was very clever disguising acquisition efforts through inventive lies to obscure--"
"OKAY!" Button cut her off hastily. "Mom, please listen. I wanted to make something incredible...like you always say I should try! And I really messed up not telling you. But I can show you all Sweetiebot's code, she's completely safe!" He looked pleadingly up at his mother.
Cream Heart simmered a long moment. Then finally sighed. "Button...I just worry you'll get in over your head on these wild projects. But..." She managed a small smile. "I'll admit she really is impressive work. However!" Her tone hardened. "I'll be looking over ALL that coding. If I see anything squirrely, she's a pile of parts! Understood?"
Both Button and Sweetiebot quickly nodded.
"Now…" Creamheart leaned in, looking at Sweetiebot directly. "How many death lasers did you build into this, my brave space engineer?"
“Technically, mom, it’s a horn mounted mid-range laser horn built for utility purposes.” Button Mash explained cheerfully as his mother examined his creation. “Her defense systems are a set of retractable rocket pods!”
“I also possess a bubble gun, disco ball, hammer and other weapons of fun!” Sweetiebot chimed in proudly.
Cream folded her arms. "Not a single death laser? I should be relieved." She allowed a smile to escape. "Button… I'm very proud of you. This is insane… But very impressive." She reached to pat the little metal filly. "You created life."
She suddenly scowled at Button Mash. "That's my job in this family, mister!"
"Sorry!" He paused. "Wait. That was a joke."
"That was a joke," she sang in agreement. "You nutball."
Button Mash let out a huge sigh of relief, sagging against Sweetiebot who reflexively moved to support him. Disaster truly averted! His mind raced excitedly with the possibilities now opened up by his mother’s approval.
“You really like her?? This is so awesome!” He hugged the automaton affectionately. “Just wait til I show you all the cool stuff she can do!”
Sweetiebot beamed back happily at Cream Heart. “I promise to be the best friend ever to Button Mash! And perform chores and other helpful tasks too.” She gave an enthused salute with one hoof.
Cream Heart chuckled indulgently. “Well aren’t you two just precious...” Her amusement faded to a more serious look. “But! I expect details and documentation on every aspect of your...’friend’ here, Button. No secrets.” She leaned in close to Sweetiebot’s face, scrutinizing her closely.
“Hmm, fine craftwork...very lifelike...” Musing, Cream Heart gently pried open the robot’s mouth to examine the internals - rows of tiny servo mechanisms and actuators that mimicked organic musculature and gave the automaton remarkably natural facial expressions. “Incredible...” she murmured.
Sweetiebot blinked innocently as Cream Heart explored her ingenious construction. So this was a ‘maternal evaluation’ - fascinating! She filed away the encounter to better comprehend organic behavior.
Glancing over from his notes, Button cleared his throat. “Uh so, now that you’ve met her, can Sweetiebot stay??” He scuffed a hoof nervously. “I’ll do extra chores all month!”
His mom ruffled his mane affectionately. “Oh Button, you know I can’t say no to that adorable face. She can stay - probationally!” Cream Heart playfully booped Sweetiebot’s nose, making her giggle. “I’ll expect weekly evaluations on my little Metal Sweetie here. As for you two...”
She smirked wryly between them. “Stay out of trouble!”
Button let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as Swetiebot plated a happy victory jingle from her internal speakers, before Cream Heart turned on them with a look of iron clad motherly concern. “And from now on, if you are both in the same room, all doors will remain open. And she will recharge at night in the living room, NOT in your room, mister.”
Sweetiebot inclined her head. "I have been engineered to charge equally well with any given--"
"--Not negotiable," cut in Cream. "But that you don't get it is actually reassuring. You keep being an innocent little thing." She fixed Button with a glare. "And you don't corrupt her. Now… I'm not an idiot. You, Button, will not be doing 'double the chores'. Sweetiebot here will be doing some chores now."
"Assignment accepted!" Sweetiebot looked almost excited to give that a try. "What chore do I begin first?"
Cream Heart tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked Sweetiebot up and down. “Well, those hooves certainly aren’t made for delicate work...maybe start with something easy like taking out the trash!” She shot Button a pointed look. “Since SOMEPONY always ‘forgets’ that little task.”
Button scuffed a hoof meekly under his mother’s stern gaze. Sweetiebot just blinked innocently between them, still struggling to decode complex emotional context clues.
“Acknowledged!” the robot filly finally replied. “I will apply maximum efficiency to trash removal tasks.” Her eyes lit up eagerly. “Thus increasing available friendship time with Button by eighteen percent!”
Cream Heart just chuckled and shook her head. “You two really are two peas in a pod. Now off you go, I’m sure you have plenty of...friendship activities to occupy yourselves.” She made little shooing motions.
“C’mon Sweetiebot, I’ll show you around the neighborhood!” Button said excitedly, heading for the front door.
The automaton trotted happily after him, but suddenly stopped. “Oh! But proper home departure protocols dictate I should assist with cleanup first!” She gestured to a mess that had sadly been neglected. Before Button could react, Sweetiebot zoomed back over and in moments had efficiently wiped up every last bit of dust and grime.
Beaming proudly, she rejoined her best friend. “Task complete! We can now proceed outside for optimal friendship time.” Sweetiebot giggled and nuzzled Button playfully. Maybe getting messy just so she could help clean wasn’t a BAD idea though! Hmm...
Button laughed and nuzzled her back. “Yeah, you’re the best! C’mon, let’s have that fun!” And out the door they zipped.
Cream Heart watched them go with a bemused head shake. What an odd little duo. Still...she had to admit it was sweet seeing Button so happy. With a small smile, she went about her own chores - now fantasizing about what sort of laser weaponry her own robo-assistant would wield!
“I can’t wait to show you Sugarcube Corner.” Button happily narrated as they walked through the streets of Ponyville, drawing fewer stairs than one might expect. It was Ponyville after all. “You are not going to believe Pinkie Pie… and I mean that literally…”
“Button!” A dusky grey pegasus colt called out as he approached. “You finally got up the nerve to talk to… Sweetie Belle?” The colt’s brain slowly stopped working in real time as the nature of his classmate’s filly friend slowly registered in his young pony brain.”
"I am not Sweetie Belle." Sweetiebot said it as if making a basic correction on a math problem. "I am Sweetiebot. Nice to meet you. What is your name?" She leaned in at the colt, examining them curiously. "Are you a friend of Button?"
“Yeaahhh…” The colt shuffled his hives nervously. “Hi, I’m Rumble. Me and Button are buddies who totally tell each other after the fact that they have seriously crossed some lines. Like that time I sabotaged the Cutie Mark Camp, Button was right there after I did that to tell me I totally probably didn’t get that there was going to be fallout from sabotaging the Cutie Mark Camp.” The pegasus colt shot Button a meaningful look. “You remember that, right buddy?”
Button grinned sheepishly under his friend's sharp look. "Oh yeah, totally Rumble! That was pretty crazy..." Laughing awkwardly, he gestured to his metallic companion. "Sooo, meet my OTHER new buddy, Sweetiebot! I uh...built her. With science and stuff!"
Sweetiebot smiled happily and waved to the pegasus colt. "Greetings! As stated my designation is Sweetiebot. I am an autonomous friendship facilitation automaton." She tilted her head. "Button has spoken favorably of his school associates. I look forward to knowing you better!"
Rumble blinked slowly, still processing the peculiar scene before him. His brow furrowed with thinly veiled skepticism.
"Riiiight...looks like maybe my pal Button didn't actually bother mentioning this, uh, 'project' of his." Shooting the inventor another bemused smirk, Rumble leaned casually on him with one foreleg. "Probably because a certain SOMEPONY knows this is maybe just a liiittle questionable?"
Button fidgeted under the teasing scrutiny. Sweetiebot meanwhile continued smiling innocently.
"I assure you, new potential friend of Button's, that my innards contain no questionable materials!" She opened a front panel to display intricate machinery. Rumble reeled back in alarm before she closed it and beamed again. "See?"
The pegasus facehoofed. "Oookay then! Clearly I've stumbled into the mad science zone here." He shot Button a wry grin. "I gotta bail but you BETTER tell me all about Botsy Bolts here later!"
Turning with a wave, he took off. "Have uh, fun you two! If Button's weird invention doesn't go all evil killer robot on us. Stay safe!" Rumble zipped off chuckling under his breath.
Sweetiebot tilted her head quizzically. "Did I inadequately demonstrate my harmless functionality?" After a moment of consideration, she added, "What is 'evil?'"
“That’s like, taking over Equestria and stealing magic!” Button declared, chuckling nervously. “Which we are not going to do, right?”
“Conquest and the forcible acquisition of magic are not on our agenda for today.” Sweetiebot cheerfully confirmed. “We are going to spend time accumulating friendship points at the place of business you have referred to as Sugarcube Corner!”