Luna started literally vibrating in anticipation next to her sister as the chariot touched down on the ground. Today was going to be perfect. First, a belly rub from her favorite human, then a spa day with her favorite sister in the whole world! And if she’s lucky, she’ll be having dinner, or when she usually has breakfast, with a lovely looking changeling queen. Bob, unsurprisingly, managed to get Queen Chrysalis to come along to the spa with her and Celestia. Given how close the Changelings are to Bob, specifically the Queen and a drone named Azolf, it wasn’t surprising. Especially with Bob’s excellent reasoning for Chrysalis to come along.
For starters, a massage, while the Blossom Sisters’ hooves cannot not match the gentleness and precision of human hands, these were two ponies who knew how to give out massages. While Twilight Sparkle had claimed that the young man gives her wonderful massages when asked, he isn’t classically trained, so he can’t get at every ache and pain like a well trained earth pony can.
Human hands are for petting, hooves are for aches and pains.
Another reason that Bob used was that it would look good for Chrysalis to be seen spending the day with Celestia as a sign of friendship between the two rulers.
That was something Bob used for Luna coming, even if he knew she’d come regardless of the press; Luna acting like the little sister she is to Celestia would surely help show her in a brighter light. The Moon can only truly shine with help from the Sun, after all.
Of course, there were plenty of other small reasons, such as Bob just wanting to hangout with the Queen outside of a stuffy castle. That alone was enough to get the Queen to come out to Ponyville. The Queen had to sit outside the library, due to the little librarian finding the Queen to be a monster that only knows hate. Bob was sitting outside with her, on a bench that the two probably stole from the park. Resting on the Queen’s head wasn’t her usual crown.
No, instead Chrysalis was wearing a sunhat and was holding an ice cream cone in her magic while she and Bob happily talked about how their lives were going after they’ve last seen each other. “Your son’s a little psycho, I tell ya Chrysalis,” Bob chuckled behind his own ice cream cone. Chrysalis had gotten a scoop of sweet cherry and another scoop of sweet potato. Meanwhile, Bob had gotten a simple strawberry. “Little bugger spent an hour lecturing me on the importance of him getting a belly rub because I didn’t rub his belly a bit before going to bed one night. It was long, he had the perfect boring teacher voice, and glued me to a chair so I couldn’t escape the lecture.”
“You will have to let me sample a belly rub at some point then, if Azolf was willing to go such lengths to get you to give him one everyday. I certainly did not mind you scratching the back of my head, or combing my mane with your hands. It was rather relaxing.” Chrysalis said as she took a bite of the cone.
“You could always just ask.” Bob’s smile grew once he saw the Royal Sisters trot up towards the library. “Howdy Luna! I’d run up and hug ya, but I don’t think you want ice cream in your fur.” Luna, for once, was the one to approach her human while meeting in pony for the first time in a few weeks. She cooed when she received a few ear scratches. “How’s helping out with Day Court?”
“It’s going great. Now some ponies are showing up at Night Court once they realize that I can help out just as much as Tia.”
“And you go to such lengths for some ponies, especially the foals,” Celestia giggled. “I know you’ve never had a colt or filly of your own, and I can tell just how badly you want one.”
“...Why doesn’t Luna have a few foals? Ain’t there a solid chance that they’ll be immortal?”
“That’s why I choose not to have foals. What would my theoretical son or daughter think when their father passes away? Especially when my son or daughter wouldn’t look a day older than twenty? Or watch their friends pass for the first time. It has been nearly six thousand years since mine and Tia’s parents passed away, and a little less time than that when we had to say goodbye to our foalhood friends… It was not a pleasant experience, Bob. I do not wish to have any offspring that would suffer that again. Immortality, as wonderful as it is, is a curse.” Luna sighed. “Even if I would kill to just raise a colt or filly just once…”
Bob sighed. “Man, I cannot… I couldn’t even fathom comforting a kid, if I could even have any, about how it’s fine that they’ll never see their childhood friends because my kid wouldn’t age. No chance at a hope of seeing their friends in an afterlife, not even a slither of a light at the end of the long tunnel that would be their life… I cannot even fathom living that long…” Bob stood up and wrapped an arm around Luna. “God, every time we have a talk about your immortality, I just wanna hug and snuggle with you.” Luna giggled.
“Well Bob, I would not be opposed to snuggling with you and Tia later. Though we have a concert to perform tomorrow night.” Of course, Luna silently added Queen Chrysalis to that list of cuddle buddies. “Now hop on my back, we can get to the-”
Chrysalis picked Bob up by his shirt and settled him around(and showed Luna and Celestia her double jointed neck) on her back. “I agreed to spend the day with Bob, and you two being here is just an added bonus and good press. So I will be keeping the human’s attention today, if you two ladies do not mind.” The Queen walked on, human on her back, head held high like any proud monarch… Luna thought the walk was… nice. Very pleasing on the eyes… However, she realized that she would be not only short her human friend for today at the spa, but Chrysalis’s attention may be occupied as well by the human.
“Tia,” Luna said. “Can you distract Bob when we get to the spa? Spend the day with him; I know you’ve been hoping to do that, and actually be his friend.”
“Of course I will. Anything to be friends with Bob! Though… I have a feeling you mostly want me to act as a wing mare, hmm?”
“...Yes. I so, so badly want to take Chrysalis out to dinner some time, and getting to know her first would be a good step in starting something… magical.”
“That was cheesy, Luna.”
“Shut up, Tia!”
At some point, Celestia managed to coax Chrysalis into letting her take the human off her back. The spa ponies had scheduled it so that only the royals and Bob would be in the spa today, so they all decided to take a nice, leisurely stroll through Ponyville until they got to their destination… with a few distractions here and there. Out of all the equines and equine-like creatures present, Celestia and Chrysalis were actually the only two who could comfortably carry Bob without his feet nearly touching the ground.
“You know,” Celestia hummed. “This is rather nice,” she mused as Bob stroked her neck. “I get a personal back scratcher, and you get a free ride.”
“Yeah. It’s pretty cool especially since human feet get more tired than you ponies and your hooves. I can obviously handle walking for long periods of time due to… my history in Equestria, but I also just liked riding Luna’s back; it’s relaxing and she likes it.”
“I also… this is rather enjoyable. It’s like carrying a foal on my back, which is something I always wish I could do.” Celestia nodded.
Meanwhile, since Celestia was leading the way, Chrysalis opted to walk besides Luna. Occasionally the Queen would glance at the Princess whenever she opened her mouth to speak, only to stop before she could possibly embarrass herself. “Out with it, Luna. I know you wish to ask me out on a date, it’s why I gave Bob over to your fat sister over there.” That got ‘HEY’ out of Celestia, but luckily a certain human was able to placate her with a jaw scratch. “I am rather curious to see where a relationship between the two of us will go. You would make for a wonderful mate, after all.”
“And you… would-”
“Live longer than your previous mates?” Luna nodded. “That would be a good reason to date a Queen, though I should warn you that I am not immortal. I can easily push another two thousand years before I would even be considered old, but I can still die from old age. My mother lived to 10,000 years or so before she passed away.”
“I know, she tried waging war on Equestria before I became Nightmare Moon.”
“And then she stopped when she realized that you and Celestia would be fighting each other; it is very unwise to get into a crossfire between two alicorns that were already thousands of years old when that whole debacle happened.” Chrysalis hummed. “You… Do you not seem bothered by this? I figured your turn would be a touchy subject.”
“It is, but I, and Celestia have moved on. I should thank you, you know.” Both mares looked ahead to see Bob, who was now wearing Celestia’s crown, rest his head on the back of the Sun Princess’s back. Of course, Celestia did flinch at first, but refrained from bucking Bob off, or jumping to disturb the now sleepy human; riding on pony back was very relaxing compared to horse back, which can be rough if you don’t ride with a saddle. “If you had not said what you said to Bob, whatever you said to him, about why Tia is the way she is… Then I don’t think she’d giving my human a ride on her back.”
“He is my human, Luna. I hope you understand that. I do try to treat him like a son, after all.”
“No, he is mine. I found him first.”
“May I lay claim to Bob? His fingernails are wonderful for scratching my jaw.”
“You may borrow him on the weekends, sister,” Luna turned to glare at Chrysalis. “My human. Mine.”
Chrysalis chuckled. “I like Bob just as much as either of you two do, even if I can still taste some of Celestia’s hesitation in fully trusting the human. She is giving an effort though, and Bob clearly appreciates it.” The mentioned human was snoring. A few of the ponies that were out and about thought the whole thing was adorable; after learning of the human’s age, most of Ponyville started being much nicer to him.
Some of them would argue that it’s to try and make up for his very public backstory, which is on the back of every vinyl cover of his first album. A few mares even approached Bob to offer him a place under their roof, mainly because they just wanted a colt, but left a little disappointed by the human already being adopted. Essentially, a large portion of Ponyville, even the ones who weren’t the biggest fans of his music, actually watched out for the human.
It was like he was the town’s collective child.
So occasionally a mare would see Bob sleeping on top of Celestia while she walked towards the spa, take a double take, and then faint. Or just gasp and stare while looking about ready to cry. Only to then pass out because of Queen Chrysalis being… rather terrifying.
“Perhaps we can share him if we become mates? I know Bob wouldn’t mind. He doesn’t even argue about us trying to lay claim to him.”
“That’s because he usually refers to me as his Luna, because I am his favorite princess.”
“And he said I am his favorite Queen. He often calls me ‘his changeling’ or something in any letters he sends.”
“Share him,” Celestia suggested. “He has enough hands to give at least two of us a jaw scratch, and it would keep us from tearing each other to shreds.”
“But he only has one lap, and it is pleasant to nap… in.” Luna started blushing when she realized what she just admitted to doing whenever said human was present around her.
“We can turn into fillies for a day,” Chrysalis suggested. “And be just big enough to all fit in his lap.”
“...Excellent idea, Queen Chrysalis,” Celestia giggled. “It would be nice to be treated as a filly again.
Once the group of royals got to the spa, Bob immediately woke up and slid off of Celestia’s back. “Uh… good thing we’re getting washed up at the spa, right, Tia?” Bob asked. He patted the alicorn’s neck, where you could very clearly see dried drool. Princess Celestia slowly turned her head to Bob with a glare that could kill you if it got any more intense. “...Sorry about drooling on your neck?” The alicorn got closer to the human, now being nose to nose with him while keeping that horrifying glare on her face. “Uh…”
Celestia licked his nose. She giggled. “Did you think I was going to hurt you over some drool?”
“...Yeah, kinda. I thought you probably wouldn’t hurt me, on purpose, but god that look you were giving me was giving me second thoughts on if you would hurt me over some drool or not.”
“When you started falling asleep on my back, I kept carrying you for a reason. Besides, it’s not the first time that I’ve been drooled on by a foal before…” Celestia pointed her nose to Luna, who was blushing up a storm since Chrysalis had apparently been teasing her a lot. “Sometimes I get covered in boogers, can you imagine? Luna was a very messy filly.”
“I can imagine anyone that’s three years old would be pretty messy, Celestia.”
“I can’t argue with you on that. I have yet to meet a three year old that cares about being neat.”
After getting checked in, Luna and Chrysalis immediately took towards the bubble hot tub, which was basically what it said on the tin. It was a bubble bath at the same temperature as a hot tub. The only difference was that it actually used a hot spring that happened to be on the same property as the Blossom twins’ property. Bob immediately took towards getting a massage on his burns; some kind of relief, no matter how brief, was worth it to the human.
“You know Bob,” Celestia’s voice sounded as though she were speaking through a fan because of the two hooves karate chopping her back. “I can easily heal every single scar on your body and make them essentially disappear. Luna could as well if you asked, and I know Chrysalis would do so as well. Twilight could too.”
“...Would it make my burns not hurt?”
“I said everything. I would be healing every impurity on you, so the scars, to small things like a half stuffy nose would be healed. Aches, pains, anything, if is bothering you, it will be gone by the time I run a very, very high level healing spell on you.”
“I dunno, I would just like the burns to be gone. Out of everything, those hurt the most, and consistently hurt. I can’t really lean back all the way, since chairs here aren’t built for me, but if I ever get the chance, it ends up hurting a lot. Moving my leg, the burnt one, hurts like hell.”
“You should take the Princess’s offer,” Lotus said as she rubbed the human’s back with burn cream. “If I were in that much pain all the time, I would beg anypony that could heal me. As a pony that lives to make others feel better, physically, I can say that physical health is very important. You’re subconsciously flinching every time I touch one of your burns. That isn’t a good thing, Mr. Bob.”
“Just call me Bob, Lotus; I’m a lot younger than you, so when anyone calls me ‘sir’ or ‘mister’ it feels weird. ‘Sides, I kinda hate getting special treatment. I wanna be treated like how you’d treat any of your customers, not somebody important.”
“This is just how I treat my customers, sir.”
“Fair enough. A country back home, called Japan, had a thing with customer service. If you aren’t treating your guests like royalty, you aren’t doing your job right,” Bob hummed. “Granted, Japanese people are pretty racist. If you’re not Japanese, you wouldn’t even be allowed in certain places like a bar, and most people that are native to Japan, don’t even know how racist they are.”
“...Was Equestria at least friendlier?” Lotus asked. “I’m sorry sir, I just haven’t gotten the chance to read up on your backstory, which somepony put in the newspaper not too long ago.”
“Well, I met a filly that let me pet and scratch her, even tried getting me to stick around and pet her… Her dad immediately tried to murder me.” Lotus cringed. “Yeah. The next town I got to,” Bob pointed at his burnt leg. “Shot an arrow right into my burn. You can guess how good that felt.” The human shrugged. “I’ve nearly been killed so many times that I don’t even flinch if you threaten to shoot me in the head nowadays.”
Celestia paused. “What town shot you with that arrow?”
“I dunno. I know the first town I walked into was called Salt Lick though.”
“So you must’ve gone into Neighber Falls.” She hummed. “Perhaps we can visit, and at least get you something to make up for what happened…” The Princess took a deep breath. “I still hate knowing that is what you’ve gone through. If you had not insisted on taking any punishments, I would’ve taken you to Canterlot at the very least and got you patched up and probably some food.”
“It’s whatever. I do wanna talk to that filly, Zippy or something, the same one I met when I first came to Equestria. If nothing else, she’s adorable, and I wanna tell her it wasn’t her fault that I almost got killed. Poor thing was crying her eyes out and trying to get her dad to back down. It didn’t do anything with a whole town chasing me and throwing stuff at me, but I can tell the kid was a little distraught with what happened.”
“I shall arrange a day off so that we can do just that.”
Meanwhile, Luna and Chrysalis were sitting in the hot tub, chatting away with each other. “So Luna,” The Queen started with her eyes closed. “What would you like to do on a first date?”
“Something simple, like a walk on a moonlit field,” Luna sighed. “Most restaurants are not open when I usually wake up. It’s annoying.”
“I can tell,” Chrysalis hummed. “Perhaps we can head to a changeling Hive; some of my changelings have worked as chefs while trying to disguise themselves. So we could easily eat a gourmet meal after the walk,” she hummed. “But first,” the Queen got close to the Princess’s ear. “You’re going to start acting like my marefriend if you would like to be my marefriend…” The Queen smirked when Luna started getting a bit darker in color. “You and I are going to cuddle in your room when we get to Canterlot.”
“...Yes m’am.” Luna whispered quietly. “Can we start cuddling now?”
“If you fall asleep, I am dragging you until, by the tail, until we get to Canterlot.”
“I…” Luna looked left and right at that declaration. She only hoped the Queen couldn’t sense a bit of hesitation upon being told that. “Okay.”
“Now come here, we shall cuddle!” Chrysalis’s horn lit up and pulled the Princess onto her shoulder. Despite being able to sense emotions, the Queen didn’t notice Luna wanting to get a little bit away from her; she just chucked that up to nervousness. Luna, on the other hoof, wanted to get away. You don’t tell your special somepony that you would happily drag them, through a town, by the tail. What’s worse is that Chrysalis wasn’t teasing, she would’ve dragged Luna through Ponyville with zero cares for if Luna got cut up by rocks, or covered in dirt.
The Princess wanted to get away and get to her human; at least she knows he’ll treat her well.