Adam glared in uncharacteristic fury at the molerat he was spying on through his Evil Eye. That he was tied up and captured by the enemy was bad enough, but Adam had just heard him leak confidential details about their movements to them.
Adam suppressed a groan and cut the spell. Rising from his seat in his private study he paced the floor, fighting the growing anger deep inside. This room was meant to be his place of quiet contemplation and meditation and was filled with books on this world's philosophies and religions, as well as ample writing supplies so he could continue his private hobby. He remembered himself and stepped to the table upon which sat the book he had been transcribing from memory. Its pages were not written in order but according to when he remembered them. He would compile them and organize them once the whole book was finished.
Leafing through what he had written so far, he found and read one page in particular.
"'Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil,'" he took a deep breath and released it after a moment. His free hand drummed the table as he returned the page. "Not anger, but action. I understand." He tapped the table with a finger and turned, his sleeve catching the stack of papers and scattering them to the floor. He sighed and knelt to collect them, halting when the first page he'd written caught his eye, namely the first line.
'The life of every creature is its blood; anyone who eats it must be cut off.'
His fist clenched around the paper as he stared ahead. His eyes were unfocused, and he gently ground his teeth. He stood, replaced the stack on the table, and turned away biting his thumb until it bled.
"What choice do I have?" He asked quietly, savoring the taste of his wound. He grimaced and pulled his hand free. "Forgive me." He strode away from the table and returned to his chair where he let his spirit slip from his body. Then, he set his Evil Eye out.
His vision shimmered and he found his fellow vampire in his lab at Shang-hay. The lab was dimly lit by covered electric lamps, a necessity to keep from igniting the volatile gases and potion reagents Candy worked with. At the far end of the lab, there were six grids of metal drums, arranged according to size, with dozens of barrels in each grid all containing potions either ready for shipping or waiting for further processing.
Candy groaned as he stretched, pulled some tubing from his desk to one of the barrels, and affixed it to a nozzle at its base. A pinkish sludge began to flow down the tube to a dripping device at his desk, which he then sprayed in small globs onto a metal sheet with a chilling enchantment on it. The fluid rapidly froze into the potion crystals the vampire favored using instead of bottles.
"Hell, yeah," Candy quietly declared, leaning in with a rare smile.
"Always good to find you at peace, brother. Despite the context," Adam said. And just like that, his smile was gone. Candy took a shallow breath and stood up straight as he worked.
"What's up?"
"Are those for Hop?" Adam asked. Candy clenched his teeth and gestured with his hand.
"His boys are pretty into this stuff, and it sells well," he said, setting the dripping device to its holster on the wall and turning to face where Adam's voice came from. "And I was under the impression we were into the idea of keeping our allies happy." He threw a thin grimace at the air.
"Your product hinders self-control. If Hop is going to be granted our gift-"
"Yeah, yeah. Don't want a repeat of Verko, I get it," Candy rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Y'know if the Catican got him or not?"
"I believe they made the attempt, but no. He has been abducted by the enemy vampire."
"Shit," Candy muttered, gesturing to a side door as he walked. "Guess that explains what exactly the Big White Bitch was stalling for." The vampire and his unseen guest slipped outside onto a second-story covered porch, guarded on either side by a mixed team of six rough-looking unicorns and diamond dogs and a rogue changeling, who paid the vampire no mind as he stepped past them and lit a cigarette.
"So, you made contact again?" Adam asked, eliciting a momentary shudder from one of the guards. Candy leaned on the railing and looked out on the naturally and constantly rainy city, listening to the muffled hustle and bustle of creatures carrying on their business amidst the pitter-patter of the unending rainfall.
"She said they needed more time to 'gather logistical data' to see if they could even meet your demands in a timely fashion," Candy replied, blowing a cloud of smoke as he watched his pony neighbor's daughter across the road sweep off the front of their store into the water-filled gutter while her parents argued just inside. He reached into his pocket, pulled out one of his smaller white crystals, and flicked it down to her.
"How bold of her to take advantage of our mercy like that," Adam said, deliberately ignoring Candy's action. The young pony flinched when the stone bounced off her head. She looked around before spotting it and looked up to see Candy leering back at her. Her ears shot back before a crash came from inside her home.
Sparing a momentary glance back, she quickly picked up the rock and looked at Candy again, who nodded. She hesitated for a moment longer, before disappearing inside. The changeling chuckled as Candy stamped out his cigarette.
"More repeat business for the future," he declared as the vampire hummed and returned inside.
"So what's the plan?" Candy asked once the door was shut.
"Is the elixir ready yet?" Adam asked. Candy nodded and stepped to one of the smaller barrels.
"This shit can turn fuckers alright, and the few I've tested it on match the, er, 'dark magical composition' you said the book says proper vampires got," he drummed the lid with both hands. "Still having trouble with them going feral. Think that might be a hunger thing, though."
"Still not ideal. It sounds like it makes ghouls, not vampires." Candy snapped and wagged his finger.
"Good assessment," he held his finger to his chin and hummed, drumming the barrel with his other hand. "I could probably make more progress if you just let me have a peek at the book, rather than drip-feeding me info."
"A debate for later. For now, you must prepare for the arrival of the enemy vampire. I, meanwhile, will lead an attack on Mount Aris with our soldiers as they are." Candy balked and stood up straight.
"Yo, back up. Fuck you mean prepare?"
"Verko told him of your lab, and he is en route with a team including Twilight Sparkle and ten pony guards." Candy clenched his teeth and paced away.
"Little fucker," he hissed and crossed his arms, gripping his sleeves tight.
"If you feel it necessary, you may kill him. Spawn are vulnerable to your poisons, I believe. The enemy vampire however is not."
"Yeah, no shit!" He growled and paced in a small circle. "Fuck am I supposed to do with him?!"
"You found a method for merging your mist with poisons. You were also the one who knew how to make this pact with the criminals of Shang-hay. I'm certain you can manage," Candy grumbled and groaned in response, and gnawed his finger. "But I must press that you do not fall victim to him. Flee if you must, but do not let him kill you."
"Right, the dark magic siphoning bullshit. Whatever," Candy growled and slapped his hands out. "Thanks for the concern about my actual well-being, by the way!" Candy huffed as silence was Adam's only response for a moment.
"That is part of it, but your well-being was my first concern," Adam finally replied. Candy shook his head and swung his hand dismissively. "You have a few days. Be safe, brother. I must make preparations for Mount Aris."
"Fuck you going to do there?" Candy asked with a grimace. "You think we got enough guys left to hold that place? Without them being full-fledged vampires?"
"Occupation isn't my intention. We're going to abduct Princess Skystar. That should let the coalition know we are not to be trifled with."
A few minutes had passed since Adam left, and Candy drove his fist through his metal table, sending crystals scattering across the floor before he picked up the table itself and hurled it away. He paced the floor with his hands on the back of his head, and his breathing shallow.
"Gotta call Hop and the Big Black Bitch," he finally muttered.
"Okay! Okay! I got one for you!" He rolled his eyes and grumbled. "Why doesn't Princess Celestia trust vampires?" He stared ahead and clenched his teeth.
"Cause they're such pains in the neck! Huh? How 'bout that one, Franky?" Candy winced and groaned.
"Told you not to call me that," he replied.
"Yeah, well, I told you to apologize for being so mean to the Cakes!" Pinkie shouted back. "Besides! You used it first, even if it was an accident, and said Adam's the one who told you not to use your old name. I still don't get why you do what he tells you." Candy huffed and raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, sometimes neither do I."
"Well, maybe you should figure it out before you go looking for your necks victim!" Candy narrowed his eyes before hanging his head with a groan.
"Why do you keep doing that? Is it just your way of getting back at me? Cause it's pretty weak, to be honest," he asked her.
"Nah, I just think you could use a laugh or two! You seem like you're really sad a lot, and I think that's why you do so many bad things." Candy balked and choked.
"Fuck'd you just say?"
"Princess Celestia says vampires like you lose all the good feelings they used to have and only have the bad parts left. I think you used to be really sad before you became a vampire, so now it's way worse." Candy's eyes darted around, and he felt his heart race.
"Even if that's true, why the fuck do you care?" He barked at her, his eye twitching when he could feel her cheery energy through their link.
"Cause if you're just a meanie cause you're sad, then cheering you up is the best way to stop you from being so mean!" Candy glared at the open air and clenched his fists as he seethed.
"What if I'm just genuinely a bad guy? What then?"
"Then we'll beat you, just like all the other bad guys we've fought! But I don't think you're a bad guy. You just let even meaner creatures tell you what to do." Candy stood in silent shock at her words, his mouth hanging open. He slowly adopted a more severe look and took a breath before walking to the door, ignoring her continued chatter.
I felt like a dumbass. Twilight had read the thin set of instructions for the pistol and showed me how it actually fired. Each bullet was in a paper cartridge with the gunpowder to fire it. I thought I was supposed to tear the cartridge before loading the bullet, but it turned out the rotating mechanism would cut the paper itself. As it rotates it spills some of the powder into the pan, allowing it to fire repeatedly.
Meaning I'd wasted four whole rounds already. Luckily, it wasn't too hard to clean the gun out and get it properly loaded. She also tipped me off that I could cock the hammer and rotate the barrel with telekinesis, so now that night had come, I spent two shots off the side of the ship to test her theory.
"Minotaur engineering sure is something else!" Twilight declared from where she leaned on the railing, as I loaded two more cartridges and extinguished the match.
"It'll sure make Hop's cronies think twice before squaring up," Calaeno declared behind me. "Here I was worried we wouldn't get a chance to stick it to him again." Twilight looked back at her.
"Who's that?" Calaeno scoffed and waved her hand.
"'Commodore' Hop Aboard is the leader of a pirate fleet around Shang-hay. He's a bit like Verko and the Rat Cartel out of Klugetown, but way more violent and not such a squealer," she leaned back on the railing. "He tried to drag us into his fleet through death threats, but we gave him the runaround every time." I hummed and nodded, but Twilight furrowed her brow.
"I have to wonder if he has ties to Candy and Adam," she murmured stepping back from the railing.
"Wouldn't be surprised," Calaeno replied with a shrug. "He's got his hooves in most of the crime in the area, not just piracy, and runs most of the city despite what Mayor Stalwart says. He at least would know where some creepy-looking bipedal vampire is holed up. No offense." She nudged me with an elbow. I rubbed my chin.
"Any clue where Hop hides out?" Calaeno hummed at my question and looked upwards in thought.
"There's a couple of places he hangs out unless he's changed his habits from the last time we stopped in Shang-hay."
"Well, why don't we pay him a visit and ask him nicely what he knows?" I asked, gesturing over my eyes. The girls hummed and nodded.
"Good thinking! We might be able to put a dent in his operations while we're at it," Calaeno declared, rubbing her talons together. "Maybe even swipe some of his money too. Or that fancy high-speed yacht he's so proud of." I laughed and patted her on the back. Twilight rolled her eyes and turned for the lower decks.
"We've still got a day or so before we arrive, but let's go ahead and make a map of these hideouts, Captain. You said you still have a map of the city, right?" Calaeno slipped forward to Twilight's side.
"Sure do. C'mon, let's head to my room," she gave me a curt salute, which I returned as the two slipped below decks. I drifted towards the dining door where I found Cozy and Sunbeam menacing Verko with their Cutie-fixes. A name they still refused to use for their holy symbols, mainly because a vampire came up with it.
"Take it back!" Cozy demanded, waving her sun symbol at Verko's face.
"Never! Curse you! Never!" The mole-rat vampire squealed and writhed in his bonds. I looked at Quilt who was sitting on the table, reading one of her books.
"Fuck'd he say?" She turned a page without looking up.
"He said they aren't real vampire killers, since they've never killed a vampire." I grimaced.
"Yikes," I looked down at him as the pair rolled him back and forth with their tools of terror. I tsked him and wagged my finger. "You oughtn't a done that. These girls take their craft very seriously. Cozy there's come closer to putting me in the ground than you realize." She stopped in her terrorizing to bashfully wave a hoof at me, giving Verko a chance to stare at me in shock.
"You're kidding?!" Cozy glared down at him.
"See? Now take it back!" She demanded.
"Peter'd know! He's ten times the vampire you are!" Sunbeam added. Verko stammered and gawped, and I took a seat on the table next to Quilt with a hum. Then I noticed the flash of Karl Katstein's knife under Cozy's coat.
"New tool, huh?" I said, pointing at it. Cozy nodded with a smile and I laughed. "Then you'd better take it back quick, Don. Before she decides to take the kid gloves off." He raised an eyebrow before noticing her new knife and wilted.
"Alright! Alright! You're a pro! A regular Catican Assassin! Happy?" He huffed desperately.
The last day of the journey was rolling on, so Calaeno rounded us up at the dining cabin table to give us a breakdown of Shang-hay. She was confident we could sneak in due to the relatively high airship traffic the city saw, but there were other concerns to expect.
"The police all answer to Hop and his cronies, so he pretty much runs the place. He even managed to get an annoying speaking machine imported from the United Cities that he uses to make announcements when he wants to feel important," Calaeno explained, rocking in her chair. "Any mean customers looking to make money in Shang-hay know to go to Hop. Diamond dogs, ponies, changelings, you name it."
"Any dragons?" I asked. She shook her head and I sighed in relief before realizing. "Changelings?"
"You met King Thorax from the changeling hive at the coalition conference," Twilight explained. "There's a small number that fled the hive with the previous ruler, Queen Chrysalis. They can change shape into whatever they like, and feed on love like a vampire feeds on blood." Before I could say anything, Calaeno leaned in.
"Unless he's recruited Chrysalis herself, he shouldn't have too many working for him now, but it's still a problem since the city's dark on the best of days. They can sneak up on you real easy," she said, wiggling her talons for effect. "There's a rumor that it's so rainy 'cause Hop has a spell over the place to keep away ships he doesn't like. The lighting also keeps his United City machines running."
"If it's always rainy and cloudy, shouldn't Peter be able to walk around?" Quilt asked and I nodded along.
"The clouds go out at least twelve miles in every direction, so yeah, he should be fine," Calaeno snickered and leered at me. "So long as getting a little wet isn't something that kills vampires."
"I'm pretty sure it's just natural bodies of water like the bay that are the problem," I nudged Quilt. "How's that one work again?"
"If you fly over it with your own power, you'll collapse helplessly and get carried away by the current," she explained with a serious look. "You can't drown, but you'll be stuck." I nodded firmly and looked at Calaeno.
"What she said."
"You said changelings're running around?" Capper asked with a nervous look, holding his arms around himself.
"The changeling hive is north of Shang-hay, so it's not too surprising some of them would flee here after Chrysalis was dethroned," Twilight mused. "But that's still quite the journey, eighty miles at least, so we shouldn't see too many of them."
"Still, since changelings can disguise themselves as anypony they want, we should set up a codeword," Sunbeam declared to the approval of the team.
"How about 'Verko's a Dummy'?" Cozy offered. The crew hummed in response, ignoring the mole rat's cry of outrage.
"Kind of obvious, since it's true," Capper replied rubbing his chin, drawing the noise of muttering rage from someone. "It should be something really off the wall, y'know?" I saw an opportunity and clapped my hands.
"Got it! You ask 'Who was flickering the lights?' they respond 'Nosferatu,'" I folded my arms with a smiling nod, silently praying they buy into the Hillenburg. The crew gave me a collective cringing grimace. Save for Blueblood.
"Ah hah! A brilliant suggestion!" He declared, beaming at my grateful nod.
"I mean," Calaeno rolled her head and gestured with her hands. "Yeah, that's kinda hard to just guess by accident?"
"That's even stupider than the other one!" Verko yelled.
"Silence vampire!" Cozy yelled back, menacing him with her Cutie-fix until he flopped over hissing. "But I agree. Pretty stupid." I frowned and held my hands up.
"And that's why it's perfect! They'll expect something smart!" I explained.
"Even better now that you've explained it!" Blueblood added. Quilt reared up on my leg and glared into the side of my face.
"If this is a joke, it's only funny to you," she said firmly. I refused to meet her gaze.
"Those're my favorite kind," I replied with a smile. The rest of the crew groaned, and Twilight stepped forward.
"Whatever that actually means, and whether it's stupid or not, I think that might work," she declared. The rest of the gang shared a look but finally nodded in agreement. I pumped my fist in victory. "Let's spread the word to the rest of the team, and-"
"Captain! Blockade ahead!" One of the pirates yelled from outside. We all shared a look before clamoring outside. I finally got a look at the city and the blockade in question.
The city was built right up to the shore and seemed to be at an incline down which the rainwater drenching the entire region washed into the bay, carrying muck and grime with it. There was a hot-looking fog nestled in patches amidst the closely set dark wooden buildings, all of which were lit up with dark-colored paper lanterns on the covered porches wrapping around each story.
Further inland, there was a row of tall open-air buildings, little more than hulking sets of scaffolding, which seemed to be the port for any passing airships. The shoreline also had rows of docks where seabound vessels could roll in. Both of these were emptied now, however, and along the air above the shore sat a long line of airships arranged so that their guns were aimed our way.
All except one small, fancy, white ship with a black balloon and golden trim, slowly drifting towards the sea.
"That's Hop's yacht," Calaeno said as she looked over the scene before us, pulling out her spyglass.
"Is he running away? How'd they know we were coming?" Twilight asked. I squinted, stared at the yacht, and flinched at what I saw with my supernatural eyes. Calaeno's gasp told me she saw it too.
"Candy's onboard!" She cried. The crew exclaimed as Calaeno continued to scan the scene with her glass.
"How'd they know we were coming?!" Twilight repeated, rearing up and leaning on the railing.
"Good question," I growled, biting my thumb. The entire team now rushed up and was leaning on the railing, watching the yacht slowly pick up speed.
"They haven't switched on the thrust, but once they do, we won't be able to catch them!" Calaeno yelled.
"Then let's get up there before they do!" Capper demanded.
"Look at that lineup! Those guns'll tear us to shreds!" One of the pirates observed.
"What if Twilight puts up a shield?" Cozy offered.
"For the entire ship while it's still moving?" Twilight cried, biting her hoof. "It'd be too thin to stop that many cannons!" Calaeno hissed and bent her spyglass.
"I got an idea," I said, stepping up on the ledge, earning a gasp from her and Quilt.
"You can't fly over water, Peter!" Quilt fumed.
"They're still over land, and so are we," I leaped forward and turned to a swarm. I raced through the air for the yacht as it began to pick up speed, and cannon balls tore through the air, harmlessly through my swarm. The yacht itself started firing bolts at me from mounted crossbows, none of which were wooden and so did no harm. I swarmed up the hull and crowded onto the deck, swirling as I reformed. The ship slipped over the water just as I did.
Back in human form, I leered at the horrified crew and immediately spotted Candy. He was somehow even rougher-looking than Mad Dog. His head and face were fuzzy as though he'd recently shaved it all down, and he wore ratty jeans and an old brown hoodie. His eyes were red and yellow, and framed with heavy dark bags. The second I got a look at him, the ship lurched and took off at high speed. I pointed at the diamond dog working the helm.
"Hit the brakes and turn us around," I ordered.
"Not up to you," Candy replied, folding his arms with a smirk.
"You sure?" I smirked back and teleported to the helm, grabbing the dog and mesmerizing him when he flinched back with wide eyes. I looked back at Candy as the dog slowly obeyed my command. He didn't seem impressed.
"The queen said you'd do that, idiot."
"Who?" A hissing boom echoed over us and back near Calaeno's ship.
"What was that?" Twilight cried, looking out to see white pillars of smoke rolling down the side of the ship's balloon.
"They dropped something from above!" One of the pirates called out as he leaned over the railing. "The balloon's on fire!"
"Look!" Quilt yelled, pointing to a pair of cackling rogue changelings zipping away. "They must've been hiding in the clouds!" The ship rocked as another boom, closer this time, rang out and the balloon's envelope began to shudder violently with a deep white glow visible inside.
"Whatever that was it ate through the top! There's a fire inside it now!" One of the pirates yelled. "We're going down!" Sure enough, the ship was now rapidly careening towards the city below. Off in the distance, the yacht Peter was on was also on fire and sailing straight towards the water.
"Everypony! Get close to me!" Twilight cried rushing to the center of the deck. The entire team rushed as tightly next to her as they could, with the city streets getting closer every second. The hull crashed into one of the taller buildings, and the second it did, Twilight worked a teleportation spell. The team reappeared on the building next to where the ship was now falling. The entire team collapsed around the princess huffing in relief. The pony guards and pirates scrambled to form a defensive perimeter around the rest, ensuring the access points to the roof were defended.
"Nice going, princess," Calaeno said, patting Twilight on the back as they both stared intently at the ruined ship which had finally reached the ground in an explosion of earth and wood, bringing down a few more buildings in its wake.
"That's horrible.." Twilight whispered on the verge of tears.
"We forgot Verko!" Hasty yelled.
"Oh no, we forgot Verko," Cozy said evenly.
"Dang," Sunbeam added as the two bumped hooves.
"Is the Master alright?!" Blueblood cried, peering out at the ship Peter'd jumped aboard. It had finally crashed into the water, but due to its speed before the fall, it now sped along the surface of the water. Then a long black shroud of smoke billowed down from the ships hovering near the edge of the water, cutting off all sight of the bay.
"Peter?" Quilt muttered.
"The fuck was that?" I roared, blasting the burning envelope from the ship with a gust of wind. I looked around and saw we were sitting in the middle of the bay, far away from the shore, now obscured by a thick sheet of black smoke raining down from the airships above. "The fuck is that?" I looked at Candy who was cackling to himself. The rest of the crew, who were still recovering from the crash looked less amused.
"This wasn't part of the arrangement!" One of the ponies near the helm screamed, backing away from me. Candy hissed with laughter, holding his sides.
"Call the Commodore! Quick!" One of the diamond dogs cried. Candy turned to face him as the crew drew knives and swords.
"He's in on it you idiots! Wouldn't want the vampire to starve, after all!" Candy cackled before green flames raced up his body leaving behind a black, pony-sized.. bug-thing. "You can all stay here with him while I report back to the queen!"
"The fuck is thaat?!" I cried, gesturing with both arms at it. It looked back at me and frowned.
"I'm a changeling, you idiot! What's the matter? Water make yew wittew bwain all loopy?" Okie dokie.
"Oh, King Thorax's guys?" The changeling hissed and snarled.
"Do not speak the usurper's name!"
"Gotcha, won't happen again," I pointed a finger and blasted it with a bolt of lightning. It flew back spasming and gurgling before going still with smoke steaming out of the hole in its face. The crew howled and cried at the sight, and a few dove into the water, save for a set of ten whom I grabbed and heaved back aboard with magic, with them squirming and wailing the whole time.
"No! No!" One dog cried, kicking and swinging as he tried to break free. I grabbed him and set him down next to the one I'd already mesmerized before I nailed him with the spell too.
"Gotta get a galley or something going now, you fucks," I set one of the ponies down and nailed her with the spell too. The others redoubled their attempts at escape but were helpless in my grasp, so I checked in on the rest of the team.
"Quilt, I'm trapped on the water, what's going on over there?"
"Peter-"
Just then, a click and a whine rang out from inside the ship, and unless my ears deceived me, the city itself.
A feminine and masculine pair of laughs crackled out over the speaker system.
"Well well! Captain Calaeno, gracing my good city once again!" Said the male.
"And Princess Twilight Sparkle? What an unexpected surprise!" The female added with a cackle. "More of a surprise for you I'm sure. And without any of your precious friends? For shame!"
"Apologies, dear residents of Shang-hay! But even ol' Commodore Hop could not have foreseen that the pirate crew of Captain Calaeno would launch such an unprovoked and heinous attack upon our fair city!" Hop declared.
"And with aid from a Princess of Equestria no less! Why, how positively scandalous!" The female added again, adopting a sincere and caring tone. "But worry not dear innocent creatures! I, the Queen of the Changelings, have experienced such treachery from the Equestrian state before, and assure you this wicked act will not go unpunished!"
"What the darlin' Queen Chrysalis said, we- hrk!"
"Do not call me darlin' again."
"Sure thing-!" A silence followed, followed by Hop clearing his throat a few times. "Like the lady said, we won't just sit by and let these ne'er-do-wells have run of this town! Already our loyal warriors are hemming in on their location to meet justice upon them!" The pair cackled in unison.
"But wait! There's more~" Chrysalis added after a moment. "We have an interest in one of the intruders. An interest you may profit from!"
"Anycreature who brings the alicorn Twilight Sparkle to me will be rewarded!" Hop declared. "Substantially rewarded at that!"
"But she must be brought in alive! My revenge must be exacted personally," Chrysalis hissed. A momentary silence followed.
"I thought we were ransoming her?" Hob said quietly earning a groan from his companion.
"Revenge is more important."
"The bill for my yacht says otherwise."
"Cut the shit, and wrap it up," a third, low voice added. The pair humphed.
"Anyway, there you have it folks! Keep outta the way or join in the hunt! Capture the alicorn, and feel free to kill the rest! And stay tuned as this story develops! Commodore Hop and company signing off."
"See you soon, princess~"
I fought with all my might to avoid crushing the primitive radio and glowered at the shroud of smoke blocking my sight. I turned back to the gang of mesmerized bozos I'd been fishing out of the water while listening to the happy couple's announcement.
"Find something to row with and get us back to land."