He's a Vampire

by Gormless Wheaton


Sword Dancer


I came crashing down on the streets as a swarm to the alarm of the locals who were busy rushing water to the square. I flew that way and saw the ruined airship Calaeno'd described crashed in the side of what looked like a pretty important multistory office. On the square in front of that building was the storm machine, or at least what was left of it. It didn't look like anything had fallen on it, but it was in pieces.

I crowded into a nearby dark alley and reformed in the shadows. Back in human shape, I cast my magic up at the fading clouds, weaving a spell to wrestle them back over the town so I could easily explore and hunt for Candy or Verko.

"Hey!" I stopped halfway through my spell and looked over at a grumpy pigman with a wooden stake glaring at me. "I saw you."

"What'd you see?" I asked, releasing my spell and folding my arms. He gestured with the stake.

"The bats. I saw it," He narrowed his eyes and held his weapon at me. "You're a vampire. And we've had enough of vampires. Time for Mitch to clean house!" I raised an eyebrow and magically yanked him into the alley catching him by the neck. His eyes went wide as he dropped his stake and cried out in shock, giving me the perfect chance to mesmerize him. I helped him steady himself and he smiled.

"Hey, thanks!" I nodded and patted his back.

"Alright, I need to know where Candy is. The vampire, obviously," I said, folding my arms as he scratched his chin. He mumbled and squinted an eye.

"I think he left last night. Verko'd know for sure though, he was staying with him." I clicked my teeth and looked around.

"And where is he?"

"Pretty sure that Abyssinian chased him to the under-streets," he pointed at a manhole cover in the square. I nodded and hummed.

"What Abyssinian would that be?" He shrugged and gestured to the destroyed storm machine and crashed airship.

"Dunno who he is, but he crashed that ship into Verko's office there, and then sliced up the cloud machine," he said before exclaiming and looking back at me. "He also chased some of Verko's guys out and cut them to pieces. Then he dumped some funny-looking water on them and they burned up. Didn't think vampires could be killed by water." He rubbed his chin in thought. I furrowed my brow.

"Verko's got vampires working for him?" He nodded, still in thought.

"Yeah, Verko turned 'em after Adam turned him. Been a real pain in the rear to live with, y'know?" Well, that was a lot to unpack. But then most of what this guy said was already.

"Quilt," I called through our link. "This guy says Candy's gone and Verko and his gang are vampires now. They're being chased underground by some Abyssinian lunatic."

"You serious?" She replied.

"Deathly. I'm heading down there now. Verko's our only lead on Candy right now. I've got this guy mesmerized, so I'll have him meet you all in the square."


I exploded down the manhole as a cloud of bats and reformed in the flickering artificial lights of the tunnels below. The air was hot and heavy, and the rounded corridor was close, allowing maybe two or three creatures my size to walk shoulder to shoulder. According to Mitch, this underground network was used by the Cartel to smuggle goods in and out of Klugetown before the Storm King came around and let them do their illegal activities in the open. Now, they functioned as an escape route for Verko and his thugs in emergencies.

I reached up and tapped one of the bulbs providing light to the tunnel. In years past, the Cartel had to use candles to see, but thanks to the Storm King, Verko had gotten ahold of a United Cities machine that generated electricity. The locals called it bottled lightning, but I could put two and two together.

Damn, Coal's country was cool.

With that in mind, I loaded the other tool the United Cities had made. With a small, controlled wisp of flame in my fingers, I lit the gun's firing cord and drew one of my wooden stakes before stalking down the tunnel directly ahead of me.

Mitch had no idea how far these tunnels went but was friends with one of the maintenance workers Verko would send down here. They crisscrossed under the whole city and were kept deliberately bare to confuse intruders. Only the Cartel members knew the proper paths to take.

As a result, I had only a vague idea of how to navigate. My best guess was I could follow the strings of lights, and they might lead me to the generator, but with my superhuman ears and eyes, I was pretty sure I could hear anyone lurking down here. Thanks to my Evil Eye, I could contact the rest of the team, and as it was daylight I could always slip through the walls as a ghost, so getting lost wasn't a concern.

Coming to the first intersection, I looked up at the wires and noticed an especially thin red line hidden amongst the rest. Looking and listening, I didn't detect anyone else yet, so I decided to follow the important-looking wire. After a long while, long enough that Quilt had called to let me know they'd touched down in the city, the wire led me around a corner and I jumped at what lay before me.

The corridor I'd turned down had a pair of charred skeletons sitting in a shallow pool of oily water that hurt to look at. Before I could relay the find to Quilt as well as my navigation trick, I heard panting coming up behind me. I whipped around and saw a squat little molerat guy in an ugly suit sprinting back the way I'd come.

"Hey!" I called as I rushed after him.

"No! No! I'll give you whatever you want! Don't kill me!" He cried, tripping and flopping over on the ground like a bloated sack. As I caught up to him, he hid his head under his hands and whimpered for mercy.

"You Verko?" I asked. He quivered and whined.

"Don't kill me! I'll make you rich!" I hummed and reached down, rolling him over to look at me. He seized up before furrowing his brows. "Who the hell are you?"

"Peter Harlow, Vampire Prince of Woollachia," I replied. He flinched and scrambled to his feet.

"You're a vampire too?" He clasped his hands together and grinned. "Did Adam send you to save me?!" I knelt to one knee and brandished my stake at him, causing him to freeze.

"Nope. Celestia did," he wheezed and clenched his hands hard. "Where's Candy? And Adam, since you brought him up." He hesitated then narrowed his eyes.

"What's it to you?" I grabbed him in my magic and pulled him closer, earning a terrified squeak. I pressed my stake to his chest.

"What's it to you?" He nodded and huffed.

"Good point! Literally even!" He laughed, before adopting a more severe look. "But hey! If you want me to talk, you need me alive!" I rolled my eyes.

"Right, so talk." He shook his head and grabbed my shirt.

"You gotta get me outta here! He's after me!"

"Who?" My Evil Eye twitched hard enough that it made my head spin, and my skin crawl and chill. A squeal followed by an electric shriek rang out, and the lights around us flickered for the last time before going dark.

"Peter?!" Quilt suddenly shrieked through our connection. Guess the sensation reached through our link. Verko whimpered and collapsed on his ass, looking down the tunnel past me. I stood and turned to see the orange-eyed silhouette of an Abyssinian with a cut ear leering back at me. He seemed to be in a long coat reaching down to his knees, and I could see a pair of long silvery blades shining in the dark. Then, the white outline of a toothy smile broke across his face.

"Bit early for you to be up and about, don't you think old boy? Shouldn't you be asleep in your earthbox?" He asked in a tone laced with malice and sarcasm. I think I heard Verko scream something and go running, but my attention was locked on the cat.

"I ain't that old, so what's it to you?" I replied. His head tilted slightly.

"I know an elder vampire when I see one. I presume you're responsible for the plague befallen this wretched hive?" He hissed, still smiling, and his blades waved gently back and forth, giving me the same feeling as when a wasp flies too close to your ear.

"Not at all, but I think the guy I'm looking for is," I slipped my stake back into my belt and cracked my empty hand. "Why don't we look for him together, Mister..?" I rolled my hand out towards him expectantly.

"Karl van Katskills, Paladin of the Sixty-sixth Catican Slaying House," he replied, bringing his blades up to rest on his shoulders as he folded his arms. "And there will be no collaboration betwixt us, Vampire. I came to cleanse this town, but involved in that or not, I cannot simply turn a blind eye to such a mature tumor of darkness as yourself." I saw the faint shadow of his tail sweeping back and forth. I grimaced and leveled my pistol at him.

"I didn't come here to kill anyone. Maybe a vampire or two, but something tells me you aren't one," I winced as he chuckled at the sight of my gun. "Let's not escalate this, since I'm pretty sure we're on the same side." My Eye spasmed and I narrowly ducked to the side as one of his knives sang through the air, slicing the lit tip of the match from my gun and cutting my sleeve. More shockingly, I heard a wet thunk followed by Verko's scream of pain further up the tunnel.

"You're damned right I'm no vampire, and damned wrong to say we're on the same side," I releveled my pistol as he drew another knife. "I stand on the side of justice and purification. You stand in the mire of corruption and decay. And I will bring your soul peace." He crouched low and brought his arms across his chest, resting his blades in a way that framed his upper body. I snarled and magically relit the match.

Then he erupted forth like a rocket down the tunnel at me. I pulled the trigger and blinked when I saw him suddenly snap to the side. Sparks flew up where the bullet hit the ground behind him.

"Shit-!" Before I could react, he was on me, his black-furred face twisted in a grin. I turned into mist as his knives came in on either side and felt my breath get punched out of my lungs despite the transformation. I rushed past him and reformed, bringing a fist back into his face as he turned to follow up. He folded like a towel and went flying down the tunnel where he collapsed onto the floor.

"God damn it!" I screamed and clutched my chest where a deep red gash had formed, spilling blood all over me and burning like a motherfucker. I dropped my gun and sucked air through my teeth. "Fuck was that?" My Eye twitched again, and I looked up just in time to avoid getting my face sliced open. I'd flown back this time and kept flying down the tunnel, as he was after me like a bat out of hell.

I raised one hand and hurled a ball of fire at him, which he fucking caught on the tips of his knives and ripped apart, cackling as he did so. We must have been moving faster than I thought since I felt a wall slam into my back immediately after.

Right as he crashed forward to impale me in the chest, I teleported past him, letting him get his knives stuck in the wall, then flicked a bolt of lightning at him. He leaped to the side away from his knives, and I reached out to grab him with telekinesis.

The fucker twisted in the air around my spell.

As he landed on one foot, I saw his tail sweep up into his coat and heard a click and a bang, and my guts exploded in pain. I saw smoke billow out from a goddamned blunderbuss he had hidden under his coat he'd fired with his tail. And considering he'd just blown half my stomach off, I guessed it was loaded with wooden ball bearings or splinters. I was damned certain the added toughness from the dark magic I'd taken from Mad Dog was the only reason I didn't pass out right then and there, and based on his momentary look of shock, that was the outcome he'd hoped for.

"Who is this guy?!" I roared mentally. Quilt said something back, but I was too preoccupied and hurled a gust of wind at him. He was slammed against the wall, so I flew up close and threw a haymaker that he rolled along the wall away from and into his knives which he slipped from the wall and swung across my throat. Or so his dumbass thought.

They weren't my favorite, but I could do illusions too, and as dark as the tunnel was he had no way of seeing how far forward I'd bent. His knives cut through the fake me standing up straight and allowed me to grapple him.

I hurled him over my shoulder to the ground, earning a satisfied moan as I slammed him hard enough to crack the stones. Then I pinned his arms with magic and conjured up a lightning bolt. Before it fired off, his leg swept up and kicked me in the hip. I felt my body go numb and all my spells fizzled out. He used my momentary surprise to kick off my hip and slide out from under me, rolling to his feet.

I clutched where he'd kicked and found a metal stud buried in my skin. He laughed in response before coughing and groaning.

"Craft-" He winced and laughed. "Craftier than the Spawn lurking around here. What a delight!" He coughed a few laughs, and I smelled blood on his breath and dripping to the ground. I dug at the stud which I could feel was hampering my magic and sneered at him.

"What's the matter, Tom Cat? Can't take half as good as you dish out?"

"Few mortals can- can tangle with a vampire once they get a grip on them. It's why- Why we train to let your own unholy might hurl us- away rather than brace against it," he huffed with a smile and gestured to me with his knife. "Then again, few vampires these days seem to remember they can work magic. Glad I didn't leave anything to chance! That little accessory's going to keep your filthy sorcery locked up. Meaning you won't be pinning me again." I hummed in response.

"Gimme a sec to dig it out, and we'll put that theory to the test," I said grimacing since it felt like the thing was getting pushed in deeper. The rest of my injuries were still open and stinging, and I was leaking blood everywhere. The dizziness I felt was overwhelmed by the gnawing hunger welling up inside. The only relief I had was that he seemed hesitant to engage me right away, and was sizing me up. His occasional wincing and the spasming of his right side told me he was feeling his injuries too. We were both in pain, but something told me we both knew my body could handle more punishment.

I grinned at him and he smiled back. I saw his tail slowly slip up into his coat again right as I got a grip on the stud.

"Stop!"

We both turned and saw Twilight standing with her wings outstretched and her horn glowing.

"An alicorn?" Karl cooed waving his knife at her. "Stay back young lady. This one's wily." Twilight galloped up to my side.

"I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, and what he is is my friend!" She declared stamping her hoof. Karl flinched and huffed in pain. "And he's here on behalf of the Equestrian Coalition against the remnant of the Storm King's army. So if you're attacking him, you're attacking the coalition and me!"

"You're kidding.." He muttered and backed up a step. "What in the world is Panthera thinking? Or Celestia, for that matter?" I hissed as I finally ripped the spiky metal stud from my leg, drawing an annoyed glare from him.

"They're thinking I'm not quite so deep in 'the mire of decay' as you do," I said, flicking the stud back at him and clutching my burning body. He balked and shook his head, and I heard as the rest of the team come running up.

"Peter!" Quilt squealed once she saw me and grabbed on my leg. Calaeno and the pony guards scrambled to my back and leveled their weapons around me at Karl, who raised an unimpressed eyebrow at them.

"That's a Catican Paladin.. hoo boy," Capper whispered from behind me, leading Verko by a rope leash the latter had around his hands. Cozy and Sunbeam flanked him, threatening him with stakes held in their mouths. Verko had a bloody bandage wrapped around his torso and appeared to be in pain. Blueblood growled and stomped forward between Karl and me.

"How dare you spill the master's blood, you lowly feline!" He brandished his sword and took up a stance.

"Careful, prince," Hasty whispered. Karl, meanwhile, solely looked me in the eyes. I took a breath and felt the stinging finally subside as the cut in my chest started to close, hindered only by the wooden debris in my stomach. I glared back his way.

"Well, well," Karl hummed and his knives disappeared into the sleeves of his coat. "I can't say I was prepared for such a turnout. Next time maybe?" He turned and started down the tunnel.

"Next time, we'll find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat," I called after him to the audible surprise of the group and his audible amusement. He vanished into the darkness. Once my Evil Eye told me he was gone, I collapsed against the wall.


"That makes fifteen," Twilight said once she'd pulled another wooden ball from my shredded abdomen and let it drop into the tray with the others. She hummed as she looked closely. "And I think that's the last one. How do you feel?" I sighed in relief and felt my body starting to rapidly heal itself. My mouth and teeth felt dry as a bone, however.

"Starving," I muttered and relaxed in my seat. Quilt shoved one of the vessels of blood we'd brought alone into my hand and I quickly popped it open. Once Katskills vanished, the team hauled me and Verko back to the ship so we could interrogate Verko in private and Twilight could patch me up. Currently, it was just Quilt, Twilight, Calaeno, Cozy, and I in the dining cabin keeping an eye on Verko, while the rest of the team were getting the ship ready for when Capper returned.

I leaned back and slipped to the floor from my seat as I gulped down my drink. I finally took a breath and let the bottle roll out of my hand.

"God damn."

I ran a hand over my previously injured body and looked over at Verko who was still tied up and under Cozy's careful guard. I grinned at his jealous leer while Twilight inspected the knife that had been thrown into his back.

"Faerie steel.. And pretty heavily enchanted, too. No wonder you couldn't heal right away," she said turning it over a few times. "This stuff makes cuts that can't be healed except by magic. I guess in your case, it just stunted your healing."

"Hey! I had that thing in my side for a whole minute at least! Where's my healing blood?" Verko cried, earning a gentle jab from Cozy's stake which caused him to shriek and wail.

"You'll get some of Peter's stock when you've talked, Don," Calaeno retorted, leaning over him. He looked nervously up at her.

"What guarantee do I have of that? Hell! How do I know you all won't just kill me once I've told you what you want?!" Twilight shuddered.

"Vampire or not, I wouldn't feel good about killing a helpless prisoner," she said, shaking her head. I murmured and nodded.

"Chances are we'll hand you to Celestia and let her decide what to do with you," I added, looking him over. "I get the feeling she'll just lock you up until you prove you can be trusted not to eat everyone." Verko leered at me.

"Get the feeling, huh? You don't know for sure?" I leaned in my chair and glared, causing him to wilt.

"She was pretty reasonable with me. That's how I know," I clenched my hands and he swallowed hard. His beady eyes darted around and he whimpered. Capper came in the door at that moment.

"Candle-mail for ya, princess," he declared, tossing a scroll to Twilight.

"Thank you, Capper. Did you find anything out?" She asked, unfurling the scroll. Capper shrugged.

"No sign of the paladin, but they've got the fire under control at least. And it sounds like Katskills wiped out all the vampires Verko whipped up." Verko shuddered and moaned.

"Damn straight he wiped 'em out! I was the last one!" We all looked at him as he squirmed. "Candy warned me the Catican was looking into Klugetown but I had no idea they had such a lunatic on their payroll!"

"The fucking Catican?" I coughed and looked at Capper who smiled.

"It's an old city in Abyssinia past the Katskills mountain range. They used to be a little monastery collecting occult lore and figuring out ways to kill monsters," he explained, taking a seat on the table. "They wound up on the Royal Family's payroll to defend the kingdom against stuff like vampires." I sat up straight and frowned.

"So what, King Panthera sent that nutcase?" Capper shook his head.

"There ain't been monsters like you in Abyssinia for a hundred years at least, so Panthera cut all funding to them. Didn't think there was a need," he laughed and rubbed his paws together. "The same year he did that was when the Storm King popped up. I heard a rumor some of the lesser nobles were planning to donate funds to Lord Bubsy, the head of the Catican."

"Our guy in Abyssinia did say they were going independent," Verko hummed. Everyone but Twilight, still reading her letter, shot him a look. His head whipped around in response. "What?"

"'Your guy in Abyssinia'?" Quilt repeated. Verko furrowed his brow to process what she said before smiling nervously.

"Did I say that?" Cozy firmly jabbed him, causing him to squeal and writhe.

"Adam's got guys in every nation the Storm King conquered or fought! I dunno who the others are, but they all got a blood bond with him," he cried, wriggling away from Cozy. "That's how we kept our plans a secret for so long!" He toppled over and whined as Cozy menaced him with her weapon. I rubbed my face at his revelation.

"Fucker's got spies in all those places?"

"That must be how he knew about the coalition," Quilt said. Twilight stepped forward and groaned.

"Speaking of the coalition, I've got good news, bad news, and more bad news," she looked around the room. "Which'll it be?" I snapped my fingers.

"Disappointment sandwich. Bad, then good, then bad," I said with a curt nod. The rest gave me a confused look before Twilight shrugged.

"Well, first off, Queen Novo heard back from Admiral Tide Claw, the hippogriff leading a covert expedition to the Storm Isles. They're completely abandoned with no sign of the fleet or Adam," she said with a solemn stare at the letter. "Tide Claw has occupied the isles with a larger force of hippogriff naval personnel, so that whole territory is being watched." We all nodded.

"The good news is Candy hasn't called for an answer yet. So, the coalition still has time to get all our defensive ducks in a row, as it were."

"And we've got more time to find him and beat Adam's location out of him," Quilt added with a giggle. Twilight grimaced but nodded anyway.

"And the other bad news?" Capper asked. Twilight looked up at me.

"Briefs is dead." Cozy's stake clattered to the ground.

"What the heck?" She cried. "How'd that happen!?" I chortled before Twilight could respond.

"She said he was going to testify before the coalition. Wouldn't be surprised if one of them took him out. Probably Coal," I said. I looked down and saw Quilt staring at the floor. I leaned in and patted her back, getting her to look up at me. She took a breath and smiled.

"It's more complicated than that, Peter," Twilight said, drawing our attention. "Turns out he was a Lycan, and the princesses blasted him when he tried to escape. They tried to keep him alive, but.." I shook my head in confusion, but Quilt shot forward, ripping the letter out of Twilight's magic.

"Your scruffing joking," she moaned desperately as she read the paper. Cozy and I shared a look before she spoke.

"What's a lycan?" I pointed a thumb at her and nodded.

"Tartarus-spawn in the shape of a horrible wolf," Quilt murmured, letting the letter drop. "It inhabits a dead body and can assume its true shape under moonlight. They can completely hide their evil aura otherwise." She looked aimlessly around the room. I flinched at the news and looked at Twilight.

"They can also pop up when a lycan bites another creature. If the creature dies before the next full moon, they rise from the grave as a lycan themselves." I exhaled hard at the implication that the real Briefs had been dead for who knows how long. I looked down at Quilt who was still scanning the open air.

"How scruffing long was he.. When did he.. ?" I picked her up and sat her in my lap. She looked back and met my eyes.

"Well, he's dead now, right?" Capper asked, obviously disconcerted by the news. Twilight shook her head.

"Lycans are tricky like nosferatu. If they aren't struck with silver on death, they turn to dust and reform at the place they found their body or died initially." An uncomfortable quiet filled the cabin. I winced and clenched my jaw.

"So, unless we find the place where the real Briefs died or whatever.." Cozy murmured.

"The lycan posing as him can just stay hidden," Twilight confirmed and looked up at me. "What's worse, Celestia thinks he's been a lycan for at least as long as you've been a vampire. The dark magic in his true form was very mature."

"Fucking hell," I added. We sat in quiet contemplation about the revelation.

"Uh, excuse me!" Verko shrieked. I rolled my eyes and cast an annoyed smile his way. "I talked, now can I get some blood over here?! I'm wasting away!" We all looked down at the mole man and hummed in unison.

"We still need to know where Adam and Candy are, bud," I said, rising from my seat after setting Quilt down. He squirmed and shuddered.

"I ain't got a clue where Adam is! He talks to me through Candy!"

"So, where is Candy?" Calaeno asked, kneeling next to him. He screwed his mouth shut and furrowed his brow.

"I'll talk once I'm safe in Canterlot, how about that?" I growled in response.

"We don't have time for that," I said before Quilt hummed and stepped past me, looking Verko over.

"You're a vampire spawn right?" She asked. Verko blanched and stammered.

"Hey, Candy said something about that!" He narrowed his eyes at Quilt. "How'd you know that? Who're you, toots?" I blanched and took a step back.

"Ha-ha! 'Toots'. So you dunno what 'Spawn' means, huh?" Verko's eyes darted around and he leaned his head back with a frown.

"Course I do." Quilt beamed.

"Great! Then you know what'll happen if we have Peter drink your blood," she chirped. I raised an eyebrow as Verko started to sweat. Quilt looked up at me. "I get you wanted to be nice, but just go ahead and suck his blood for the memories we need. Who cares if you take his soul in the process?" Twilight gasped and Calaeno stumbled back with a squawk.

"Shang-hay! He's in Shang-hay!" Verko blurted in tears, wriggling in his bonds away from me. "He's got a lab down there and some pirates he gets supplies from! He's been working outta there since Adam took over! Not my blood! Not my SOUL!" He wailed and whimpered, rolling on the floor. Quilt nodded.

"Bingo! Let's get a move on," she chirped. Capper laughed, and the rest of us looked between the two.

"Now that was a good one!" He praised.

"Aw, that obvious?" She muttered, shuffling her hooves with a bashful smile. Capper swept beside her and patted her head causing her bell to jingle.

"Well, not to him," he said pointing a thumb at Verko, who sat staring at the ceiling in disbelief. Capper leered up at me before striding for the door. "Or him, amazingly." I frowned, while Calaeno and Cozy sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness," Twilight murmured. She looked around and hummed. "I'm uh.. I'm going to write Celestia about our findings."

"And I'm going to get the ship moving," Calaeno added as the pair made for the door.

"And I," Cozy declared, raising a hoof to the heavens. "Need to use the bathroom." She galloped for the door. I knelt down and patted Verko on the belly.

"Thanks a million! Let's get you a snack, lil' buddy," I said before stepping over his unresponsive form for the case of blood. Quilt skipped up to me and kicked my leg.

"I'm the one who tricked him! Where's my snack?"

"Fair point! Let's see.." We looked through the supplies together while Verko sat and quietly stared at the ceiling.


Van Katskills cried aloud in joy as the potion worked its magic, mending his busted ribs and torn muscles.

"Damn shame the princess butted in when she did, Eustace," he declared with a cackle, handing the empty bottle to his squire. "That monster gave me a run for my money." Eustace shook his head, as he returned the bottle to the medical bag.

"That's a depressing thought, Karl," the Bengal squire murmured before drawing a bluish shimmering potion and a brass bowl. "You're one of the last great Paladins we have. What'd we do if we lost you?" He set the bowl on the ground and shook the bottle before pouring its contents into the bowl. The fluid crackled and produced a deep blue flame.

"Take it as a sign we need stricter drill instructors to get the rest up to snuff, that's what!" Karl cracked his back and basked in the sunlight, looking over the distant shape of Klugetown from where they'd made camp. "We need more fencing classes, not just shooting! And I heard they're getting ready to cut the run by fifteen miles! Cat litter! Outta add fifteen miles and with weights on your paws while we're at it!" He whipped around and looked at his squire, snapping his claws rhythmically in a small dance.

"Communications ready yet?" Eustace nodded in response and readied his pen and paper. Karl waved his paw. "Bully! Full report of engagement, inventory, required medical procedures, and Senior Paladin assessment of completed purification." Eustace looked up in surprise.

"But what about the vampire you fought?" He exclaimed. Karl laughed and pointed at an airship in the distance.

"I saw his team haul him and Verko onto that ship there. And now off it goes," he grinned back at his squire. "We can do a second sweep of the town if Bubsy's not convinced. But more importantly, tell him we need information on Woollachia." Eustace raised an eyebrow.

"Why's that?" He asked, earning a low, sinister, giggle from his senior.

"His home. Heard the wretch name himself the Prince of Woollachia to Verko."