I laid on the couch and listened to my friends even breathing as Lavender rolled over in her sleep. I wish I could be asleep but well, I don’t know. The rain sometimes helps me fall asleep but not tonight.
“Can’t sleep?”
I jumped slightly and looked over as Trixie stared at me, rubbing her eyes.
“No,” I admitted as Trixie frowned. “Busy thinking about what to do after all this is over.”
“I have a few ideas,” Trixie said with a shrug. “You move on, there’s no point being stuck in the past. You can either adapt and survive or die with the past. The choice is yours.”
“I’m not sure that Star Wars quote fits. I’d rather not die in general.”
“I tried,” Trixie gave a faint smile. “But, I can relate. I’d rather not die either.”
I fell silent as Trixie’s purple eyes examined me intently and the magician sighed.
“You know, Trixie doesn’t blame you. If you ever did do something like this,” Trixie admitted as I raised an eyebrow. “Not that I think you are obviously. The Rainbooms did treat you poorly to begin with. Sure, you treated everyone bad but they didn’t necessarily help you on your redemption quest. We all saw and heard them with their no offense comments. They technically did this to themselves.”
“Nobody deserves this Trixie,” I shot back as Trixie shook her head. “Not even them, not you or me.”
“I understand but-”
“What exactly do you understand? The fact that I’ve been betrayed by people I once called family to the point where it took Redheart locking up all my sharp knives because she was afraid I’d kill myself?” I snapped angrily as I looked down at my old cuts and Trixie’s eyes fell on them too. “You weren’t the one who did this to herself.”
Trixie rolled her left wrist over and I stared at some scar marks as Trixie made eye contact with me sadly.
“Trixie understands. More than you know.”
I slid off the couch and lifted Trixie’s arm, tracing her cut marks with a finger.
“Why?” I asked finally and looked back at her.
“Why does anyone does this?” Trixie pointed out and shrugged. “Everyone has problems going on that not many know about. I do, you do. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if the principals didn’t have their own issues.”
I nodded quietly as I let go of Trixie’s hand and she rubbed her wrist. I subconsciously copied her as Trixie smiled slightly.
“I never had anyone to talk to but you do. I’m jealous really,” Trixie said and her eyes looked down as I squeezed her hand.
“You can always talk to me,” I answered as Trixie smiled at me. “I’ll give you my number before you leave to go home.”
“Thank you, Sunset.”
We fell silent as we sat quietly listening to the rain and our friends snoring softly.
“Can I ask a personal question?” I asked as Trixie snorted and showed me her wrist again.
“I don’t think things can get more personal than they already are.”
“Why do you talk the way you do?”
Trixie stiffened slightly as she glared at me and I edged backed nervously as Trixie let out a sigh.
“It’s autism, I can’t really control when I slip into third person. Most people don’t understand what it’s like because they never had it and never will. It comforts me to speak in third person. My only friend is Lavender and well, you and her sister now. Fuchsia and I aren’t on speaking terms right now. Those two never cared about my disability when everyone else called me a retard or a failure. Not even you called me a retard in your bad days.”
I stayed silent as Trixie quit rubbing her wrist and looked back at me.
“If I try hard enough or am with people I trust, I speak in first person more often. Kinda like how I’ve been doing tonight.”
I had partially noticed that she had been speaking in first person more tonight. I blinked and looked around the room. It was about one am and I internally cringed at the mess of pop bottles and pizza boxes I’d have to clean up in the morning.
“You trust me?” I asked curiously as Trixie nodded.
“Mhm, I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t. And I admit, Cloudkicker too. We had our problems with each other in the past but I suppose that’s in the past now. She did help me not get jumped so I owe her for that,” Trixie admitted as she opened a nearby pop bottle and took a sip.
Cloudkicker let out a snore as we both looked over at the girl laying on her back as we both looked at each other and laughed quietly.
“I never really talked to Cloudkicker or Lavender until now. You and I exchanged hellos here and there but that was it,” I said as Trixie looked at me sheepishly. “You never really seemed into it.”
“I’m not really a morning person. I don’t like waking up in general. I’d rather stay in bed for a few hours.”
I gave a faint chuckle as I patted Trixie’s hand reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, me too. I’m named Sunset after all, not Sunrise. I’ve always had a bit more of an appreciation for Mom’s sunsets.”
“Sunsets are always beautiful in my opinion,” Trixie agreed. “The actual things, not you. Not saying you aren’t beautiful of course but you know. I’m gonna shut up now.”
I laughed quietly into my hsnd to avoid waking up Cloudkicker and Lavender as Trixie rolled her eyes, pushing me gently. I idly made a mental note to buy a few air mattresses in case they ever come back again.
I never really had any guests except Redheart coming over for beers or dinner. As friends, obviously. It was a bit nice to have a place to get away from Rainbow and Pinkies antics that was nice and quiet and well, mine.
“Are you still with me?” Trixie asked as she waved her hand in front of my face. “Sunset?”
“Yeah sorry. Was just thinking about how it’s nice to have company here. Redheart is nice and all obviously but it gets lonely just being with her.”
“Relatable. I’m gonna try to go back to sleep. Goodnight Sunset.”
I leaned in and hugged Trixie as she froze before hugging me back. I gave a yawn as I fell beside her and closed my eyes.
I felt my friend drag her blanket over us with a spare hand as I smiled faintly.
“Goodnight Trixie.”