//------------------------------// // Guilt Not Remorse // Story: The Anchor // by jphenix //------------------------------// She couldn’t stop herself from glancing at the ship. With each furtive look she soaked in more of the vessel’s amber varnish; her eyes falling into those lush crimson sails slashed with gold. Every piece and part was exactly as she remembered, down to the precious curl of red hair. “Celestia, did you even hear me?” Celestia turned to her sister. The annoyance in Luna’s voice was clear. Less obvious was where their disorderly companion had wandered off to. “I said Discord got bored and went to haras-join the other dancers. Now is your chance to speak with her without risk of interruption.” Her eyes spied the faraway table for the umpteenth time that evening. Past the packed dance floor, roaming servers, and hobnobbing coronation guests, Sunset Shimmer sat amiably chatting with a lilac unicorn. She and Starlight Glimmer were engrossed in the book between them, completely unaware of the sun’s frequent gazes. “She’s still preoccupied. I shall approach her at a more convenient time… for the both of us.” Luna set her jaw, her right eyebrow arched high. “Luna, that's not fair.” She wasn’t even expected to be here. Not according to the guest list Celestia had checked every day for the last three moons and a half.  “I just can’t right now.” “I can.” Her sister strode off. The champagne burned its way down Celestia’s throat as she desperately attempted to pour steel into her nerves, and hurriedly catch up to Luna. They skirted along the edge of the party; only those on the outer limits noticed their coming and stepped aside. The well-dressed crowd formed a solid jubilant mass to their right until finally scattering amongst the elegant walnut bar tables and stools that had been set up. There, near the back, sat the two unsuspecting unicorns. “And here I thought you had already presented Twilight with the memory scrapbook.”  The two looked up at the former princess of the night. Starlight’s sudden smile showed some surprise. “Oh Princes- I mean Luna, I tried. But then I bumped into an unexpected last minute addition.” Sunset simply smiled. Celestia appeared a little ways behind her sister. "Good evening Starlight Glimmer… and hello Sunset Shimmer.”  Sunset’s smile switched from simple to strained.  The lilac unicorn’s blue eyes flicked between the two sun ponies. Neither seemed in a great rush to do anything except silently stare at each other. Long hours of friendship training and years of expertise with manipulating ponies kicked in for Starlight. She knew exactly what to do. “It’s pretty much done now,” Starlight continued pretending nothing had changed. The gold trimmed scrapbook rotated gently in her magical turquoise grip. “I just need to rewrap it and somehow get it to Twilight.” A slight frown grew on her face. “The guards refused to let me see her an hour ago.” Luna puffed out her chest. “Oh, I can assist with that. Crown or no, day guards dare not impede anypony accompanying me. We can depart now if you wish?” The lilac mare set the book back on the table and turned to face her friend. Sunset broke off her staring contest to look back. “Are you alright with that?”  Their silent conversation lasted but a few brief seconds. “Of course, go on. We’ll meet up later,” Sunset responded casually. Starlight stood. “Alrighty, nice seeing you Celestia. And thanks for the memories Sunset.” “Even if they weren't so great," the unicorn’s muttering was accompanied by a glance to the white alicorn standing motionless nearby.  As Starlight tilted her head her vision was broken by a levitating navy scrapbook in a navy glow. Luna flicked nonchalantly through the pages of moving pictures. “Do remind me again about the level of consent required for this memory spell.” She halted on a page depicting a dark armored alicorn cackling madly. “There are some rogues in the dungeons I’d like to try it on before I vacate the castle. And you know the old ways of extracting information are so tedious… and messy.” Confusion flashed across the unicorn’s face, which then made way for concern.  The night chortled. “I’m only funning with you! The old ways are so very gratifying!” Starlight’s uncomfortable laugh, and Luna’s Cheshire grin, melted into the crowd along with the two mares. Alone in uncharted waters the sun ponies returned to their staring contest.   Celestia knew she would never get over this sight. Radiant. Shimmering. A face scarred perfectly into her memory, right down to every innumerable tiny freckle. Years ago, at a much more mundane event, she had attempted to count all of them. This was impossible today with the twisted look of apprehension etched on the unicorn’s muzzle. And those bright cyan eyes, which could hold such wonder and admiration, now contained only confusion mixed with regret. As the silence stretched into minutes it was clear a regal and elegant response was needed to proceed properly. “Hi." Sunset gave a spotless impression of concerned Starlight. “Uhmm, you said that already.” Celestia lost the second round of the contest to her embarrassment. “Sorry.” A warm giggle made her turn back. “Seems I’m not the only one who's had a long day,” Sunset replied, her tense posture easing ever so slightly. “Tell me about it.” The unicorn sat up straighter, the tension back immediately. “Oh, of course, I can’t imagine what you’ve dealt with recently. Preparing for retirement, the invasion, and now the coronation. Nothing can compare to-” “No, sweetie, you misunderstood. Tell me about your day.”-Celestia seated herself at the table and leaned forward-“please.” Sunset cringed. At the word or pleading tone Celestia wasn’t sure. Yet, the mare recovered quick enough. “I had finals yesterday and today. I barely managed to finish them in time to get here and not miss the entire ceremony.” Hesitant at first, she soon picked up steam. “And all that was easy compared to the last few weeks. Between studying, yearbook duties, class president meetings, nightly patrols, my freaking car breaking down, band practice, work, helping the girls with their college applications, and streaming, I'm exhausted.” She finished her list with a deep sigh. Levitating two glasses from a passing server, Celestia arranged them on the table. The sight of the bubbly amber liquid did little to lift the droopy amber face. “I’m sorry to hear about your burdens, but delighted to know you’re helping your friends with their tertiary education. How is your own preparation going in that regard?”  A small groan escaped Sunset. “Great. Wonderful. Stupendous.” Celestia nearly choked on her sip. “Your words and that adorable pout mingle worse than Twilight and a dance floor.” Cyan eyes crinkled. “Applying was easy enough after some careful planning. Helps that I learned from the best,” Celestia smirked, “I have backups for my backup’s backup.” The mare’s second pout was more somber. “Now, I have to figure out if I even want to go.” “A profession after secondary school is a noble pursuit.”  “But pursue where?!?” At the questioning gaze Celestia gave, Sunset took a deep breath and elaborated. “Did Twilight tell you she offered me a position in the royal court?” “No,” Celestia lied. “Yea, Scion… Archon… something with ‘Magic’ in the title.” Her hoof gestured vaguely in the direction of the castle. “When I demurred she then intimated she could put in a good word for me at a certain magical school. Gifted or Friendship. My choice.” Sunset huffed. “Gifted, if only because I know Twilight would prefer the proximity to you. Although, proximity to her isn’t the issue here.” To her credit, Sunset did not cringe again. “Yes, I had hoped y-I don’t know. I hoped today would help me decide.” Liquid swirled in Celestia’s mouth. Her companion’s drink sat cold… untouched. It’s time to sever the last strands of this frayed rope. She swallowed. “I think you should stay in the other world.” Sunset was too intelligent to feign misunderstanding. And so very tired. “Why?” The half-empty glass was put down on the persimmon tablecloth, right over an old indelible stain. “Tonight I give Twilight the keys to my school. The last set I have left to hoof over. Nevertheless, that won’t change who I truly am. What kind of teacher would I be if I didn’t want my student to succeed, let alone soar.” “You think I could do well there?” “No… I know you have.” Melodic notes drifted on the air and up into the darkening sky; joyous revelry strummed distinctly by a distant guitar. “Besides, even after today, this world has a wealth of princesses. It would be a real shame to deprive the other of their sole one.” “I’m not a princess,” she countered. “Young lady, I taught you never to lie to me. Or yourself.” “I’m not,” she reasserted, scowling. Her hoof indicated the empty space above her head, then to her featherless back. Celestia frowned, lines older than sin appearing on her face. “I tried the best that I could, but still I failed you.” How not? A broken thing can never teach another to heal. “The fault was with me, not you. I tried to take what I didn’t deserve. I know that now.” Unless they heal themselves. “No Sunset, I failed because you tried.” Or let them go. “I told you being a princess must be earned, to go out and make friends. Yet… Have you ever wondered why I could never be your friend?” “It wasn’t your job,” she responded almost in a hush. “My job.” Celestia sneered. “When you trudged into my school from that orphanage, my job was to instruct you in magic. When you earned the spot as my pupil, my job was to teach you to lead. When you showed the very conceit I possessed as a unicorn, my job was to keep you from making my mistakes. What did I do with all these responsibilities? I almost guided you to the same thousand year dead-end.” A faint visage of the moon hung overhead. The guitar continued apace, blissfully unaware of the pounding in her heart. She breathed in deeply, and retracted her claws. Lest she do more damage to one of the few ponies she loved unsparingly. “Thankfully, a better princess showed you a brighter path. One I could never follow.” Sunset chewed on her lip and her thoughts, until finally settling on an honest response. “I’m sorry, but how does any of that make me a princess?” “Look around and tell me what you see?” The amber mare grew sullen at the question-answer. “I’m not really in the mood for one of your nebulous lessons today.” “True, but that brilliant mind of yours is already working it out.” Celestia looked amused. “Your eyebrow always lifts when you’re in deep thought. And was that a hoof twitch I saw?” Sunset ignored the light teasing and continued to survey the party.  Across the way, the newly crowned monarch of Equestria appeared talking with Pinkie Pie, King Thorax, Lord Ember, and her brother. Twilight caught Sunset’s eye and turned away, blushing. Spike and Gabby waltzed with each other, ignoring the large stone bird statue occupying the center of the dance floor. Perched on its shoulder was a robin-sized god of chaos preparing to squat. Fluttershy wove around Smolder and Ocellus making for the statue while waving her forelegs and shaking her head furiously. Applejack and Rainbow Dash sat at a table staring daggers at each other between gulps of cider next to a mountain of mugs. The Cutie Mark Crusaders glided through the forest of legs and limbs, just ahead of a pack of stern looking guards, and a very crabby Rarity.  “I see… Twilight’s kingdom.” Sunset looked at her former mentor, understanding. “The crown and wings never really mattered, did they?” “From time to time the obvious truths must be reiterated. Even princesses can take them for granted. Like air and earth and magic, important, but occasionally unnoticed.” “Have I truly earned that title? My kingdom is only six.” Gone was the unstoppable mare, in her place sat the scared filly who only needed to be held. Even now, Celestia still couldn’t take that plunge. But today she finally knew what to say. “Twilight started with fewer.” Sunset beamed. The former princess of Equestria slipped on her well-worn self-serious expression. "And I would be remiss, young lady, if I failed to mention it’s grown ever larger since you began. As I recall, it currently contains a couple schools, a summer camp, a yacht, and an entire mail." "Mall," corrected Sunset. "If you say so, I haven't wielded a maul in several centuries. Although I don’t remember them being that large." They stared at each other, both expressionless. Both broke together. Luna sauntered back to the pair as the laughter was dying down. "It appears I am perpetually late to the best parts of weddings and parties. What have I missed?" “Oh, I’m merely catching up with one of my favorite students… former student.” Celestia corrected herself after a moment. “No.” Sunset slid from her side of the table and darted in for a hug. “I will always be your student.” She pressed deeper into the white coat. “Thank you for the advice.” With tremendous effort Celestia smothered the urge to return the hug. If she did, she knew she would never let go. “You’re most welcome,” was all she allowed herself to say. Settling for a pat on Sunset’s bareback.  They broke apart and left the table behind. “I’d best find Starlight and then head back. Got some plans I now need to finish up.” Celestia’s nuzzle was a quick and cruel thing. “Goodnight, my little sunray.” The once and nevermore princesses watched as Sunset sailed far far away from them, until finally vanishing. "Can a ship ever really love an anchor?” Luna’s ear perked up at the murmur. Her smile was as simple and sad as her answer. "Of course. That ship will always love her anchor. As the sun will always love her sunset.”