I wasn’t in the fireplace when I woke up.
I wasn’t sure where I was when I first woke up. I was in a bed, but it didn’t feel like mine. I realized I couldn’t see where I was because somepony had covered my eyes. Actually, somepony had covered my whole body in some kind of soft material. I wished I could use my magic to take it off so I could see but of course that was impossible. At least I had my ears. I became aware that there was a conversation going on, between Luna and… some other pony whom I didn’t know.
(Luna) “How serious do you think it is?”
(Strange pony) “Extremely. She’s got third degree burns all over. If that bird hadn’t come to you when it did… I shudder to think-“
(Luna) “Me too. Thank Harmony for Philomena. I just- I do not understand why she would- it is just so unlike her!”
(Strange pony) “I know. I know you can’t know what’s going on in a pony’s heart but this truly shocked me. Hopefully when she wakes up you can try to get some sort of explanation out of her. I just can’t believe she didn’t have some sort of reason.”
(Luna) “When she wakes up- do you think that will happen soon? She’ll be alright?”
(Strange pony) “I expect her to wake up in the next few hours. Her vitals started looking better a few hours ago. As for recovery- we foresee a long road ahead here. These sorts of injuries tend towards complications down the line. We’ll do our best but you really need to appreciate how arduous the healing process can be for something like this.”
(Luna) “But… Celestia has magic to help with healing. Alicorns can recover quite quickly from all sorts of injuries.”
(Strange pony) “That’s the other thing I wanted to discuss, Your Highness- we expected the Princess’ Alicorn magic to shorten her recovery time but as far as we can tell that hasn’t been happening. We actually ran some tests and, well…”
(Luna) “What?”
(Strange pony) “She has magic levels that are frankly unimpressive for a Unicorn, let alone an Alicorn.”
(Luna) “How can that be?”
(Strange pony) “We honestly have no idea. For all we know she purposefully drained herself of her magic before she stepped into the fireplace with the intent to-well-“
(Luna) “No. Celestia would never do something like that. I just cannot believe that. How do we know she had not lost all her magic before?”
(Strange pony) “That’s the thing; we don’t. What you’re saying is entirely possible, we just don’t know. Hopefully you can talk to her when she comes to and we can try to start and piece everything together.”
(Luna) “I- alright, Doctor. I guess I shall just stay in here til she wakes. Thank you kindly for all your help.”
(Strange pony) “You are sincerely welcome, Your Majesty. Truly, I am so sorry this is happening. I promise that every one of us here will do everything we can to make sure Princess Celestia makes a full recovery.”
The second pony left the room and Luna started walking towards me. She put her hoof onto my hoof and I think she started crying. “Oh, Celestia,” she said. “Why o why would you do this?”
“Luna?” I said.
“Celestia! You are awake? Are you alright? Does anything hurt?”
“Yes, I’m awake,” I said. “I don’t feel too much pain, just a lot of numbness and cold. But I can’t see. Would you be able to take off whatever it is that’s covering my eyes?”
Luna sighed with relief. “At least you are not in pain. The medication must be working. But I am not sure I can uncover your eyes. I think the doctor needs to do that.”
“Please?” I begged. “It’s so frustrating not being able to see.”
“Well- fine, but do not tell the doctor that it was me.” Luna finally agreed. She carefully levitated off the bandages on my eyes so I could look up into her tear-filled ones. “Celestia… what happened? What did you do it?”
“Do what?” I asked her, confused. I don’t believe she knows about why I gave her the Sun.
“Why did you climb into the fireplace? Were you trying to-to- end your life? I mean, if Philomena had not come in time…”
I looked at her in horror. “Luna, of course I would do no such thing. I merely went in to the fireplace because I was cold.”
“YOU WERE COLD?” Luna asked in shock. “Celestia, please be serious. Why did you go into the fireplace?”
“I am being serious,” I said. “I was cold and it helped me feel warm.” Truthfully, I was beginning to get a bit annoyed at her. I gave her my beautiful Sun and all that came with it, I had suffered from bone-chilling cold for weeks, and yet she was angry that I had tried to keep warm? Yes, I could now see that I hadn’t been completely responsible, but it was just an honest mistake.
Luna gaped at me. “Why would you need to go into the fireplace to keep warm? Why could you not just put on a sweater or something?”
“You think I haven’t tried that? It doesn’t help me! Philomena’s the only one who can, and she didn’t want to! You don’t understand how cold I am, Luna.” I said sadly. “All I wanted was to feel warm inside.”
She stared at me for a long time. The she said, slowly, “Celestia, why do you feel so cold?”
“Well-I… because I- I…” I can feel tears building in up in my eyes. I don’t want to tell
Luna how selfish I am and that I won’t let her be happy. But I can’t pretend everything is fine anymore. It’s not.
“Does it have to with how you lost your magic?” She asked.
I nodded. “Wh-when I gave you the sun-“
Luna gasped. “You gave me the Sun because you were losing your magic? Celestia, that was weeks and weeks ago. Why did you not say-“
“No! No!” I said. “I started losing my magic after- because I gave you the Sun. And I started feeling cold.”
“Oh,” Luna said. She gazed at me with genuine confusion. “Well, then Celestia, why didn’t you simply ask for the Sun back then?”
“Because- because- because- I- I wanted you to be happy. I saw how happy you were when you raised the sun, all the energy and confidence it gave you and- and how could I even think of taking that away from you, Luna, I’m sorry. But I’m just so cold I just- I just-“ I buried my bandage wrapped face into my pillow and wept. “I miss my Sun, Luna, I miss it every second of every single day, I miss being warm and holding quills with magic and not being tired all the time. I thought I could learn to live without it but I just can’t. I’m sorry, Luna, I’m sorry.”
“Celestia- you did this all to make me happy?”
I sniffled. “Well you were, weren’t you? Admit it. You love the Sun. I’m sorry I’m so greedy and selfish-“
“Celestia!” Luna took a deep breath. “Yes, I did like raising the Sun and doing your job. I’m grateful to have had the experience. But how can it make me happy if I know that me doing it makes you so sick and depressed that you would climb into a fireplace just to get warm!
Celestia, you not wanting to live like that does not make you greedy or selfish. The fact that you were even willing to try such a thing just shows me for the thousandth time that you are the most selfless pony in Equestria. And if after all this I insisted on keeping the Sun after seeing what happens to you without it? Why, what would that make me? It would make me a monster!”
Luna glared at me ferociously. “It is honestly quite hurtful that you would even think that I would want to keep the Sun when keeping it from you is literally killing you. How could you possibly think I could put my own desires ahead of your life?”
“Well, you did before…” I muttered quietly, lowering my gaze from her.
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean- oh”. She stared at me for a long time, her eyes welling up with tears. “Celestia… you cannot possibly believe I am the same pony I was then. Surely you do not believe that?” She said softly, a hint of desperation entering her voice.
I still can’t meet her eyes. “Of course I know you aren’t Nightmare Moon anymore!” I exclaim.
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “But.”
“Well- if you were willing to betray Equestria once- I’m not saying you would do it again, I’m not- then- well- isn’t it good to take certain… precautions so as to make those events… even more unlikely? By ensuring your happiness.”
Her voice is shaking with both fury and hurt. “Such as giving me the Sun in the hopes that it would quench all jealousy I could possibly have of you?”
“… yes,”
“Celestia, I thought- I truly believed you had realized I am not the same pony I was then.” There is a hitch in her voice. “I thought you forgave me.”
“I did forgive you, Luna!” I exclaimed. “From the moment I used the Elements against you I forgave you? How could I not? You’re my sister. I love you. I always have. And that’s why I gave you the Sun. Because I love you and I want you to be happy.”
“That is not was forgiveness is, Sister,” she said bitterly. “You can love somepony and still bear a grudge against her. Forgiveness is restoring the trust that once existed, of recognizing that sincere regret and repentance can change a pony so profoundly that sins of the past are truly unrepeatable. It is clear you do not believe that about me.”
“Luna, I- I do- it’s just that-“ I couldn’t seem to find the words to explain to her that she is wrong and that I have always forgiven her.”
“Hush,” Luna said sadly, stroking my hide with her soft wings. “It was unfair of me to expect that of you, after all I did you you.” She leaned over and kissed my forehead, her wet tears mixing with my own. “I know you love me, ‘Tia, I have never doubted that, even in my darkest moments. What this whole debacle shows is what has always been true- you would do anything for me, short of destroying Equestria. I hope one day you will believe that the same applies for I to you.”
I want to believe her, I truly do. But something still gnaws in my mind. “I’ll believe you if you promise me one thing, Luna.” I say to her. “Luna, if I would have offered Nightmare Moon the Sun, can you guarantee that it would not have stopped her ?”
Luna’s face froze. “Celestia- I-“ She paused. “No Celestia, I cannot guarantee that. I do not know if it would have satisfied her but I cannot rule it out,” she said quietly.
“Then I am right to do this!” I wailed miserably. “How can I deny you the Sun when it very well might have stopped her, stopped a thousand years of you suffering in exile, stopped me from losing you for so long!”
“Because, Celestia, it is not your responsibility to make me happy with the role Fate has given me. That is my job, and admittedly I have done a pretty poor job at it. Even if you giving up the Sun would have satisfied Nightmare Moon, you could still not be faulted for refusing. If the only way she- or I- could find happiness would be by destroying yours- then she has no right to be happy.”
I looked over at her. Her eyes were so bright and her face was so earnest. And yet….
“I still want you be happy, Luna.”
She put her hoof on me. “I can still be happy, Celestia. Raising the Moon makes me happy. Arranging the stars makes me happy. Helping ponies in their dreams makes me happy. And yes, seeing you happy- sometimes it makes me jealous but it also makes me happy! And I can guarantee you this. While I do not know if Nightmare Moon would have taken the Sun, she would surely never ever return it. But I will. Because I am not the same pony I was then. Because I do not need the Sun to be happy. But you do, Sister. Please, take what is yours.”
I looked at her in wonder. “I accepted you years ago because you are my sister, not because you were worthy. But now I can see you are not the same pony you were then. You truly deserve everything I returned to you.”
“Then do you forgive me?” She asks, her voice filled with trepidation.
“I do,” I said, and I truly meant it.
“Thank you,” Luna smiled. “That is- a bigger relief than you could possibly imagine. But I believe there is one more order of business.”
“Which is?” I asked, curious.
“I take it you will take back the Sun, yes?”
“Oh- YES!”
At this I leapt from the bed and towards the window. I tore out with me teeth the medicine line that had been attached to my wing. I poured every last bit of magic I had left into searching the heavens for my sun until my magic touched it. And with my last bit of magic I brought it down and felt its warmth and light rush through me. Finally my chest felt whole again! Finally I felt magic crackling in my horn and healing my burns! Finally I held my star again. Finally it was Dawn again. “I’ll never give you up again,” I whispered to it, happy tears streaming down my cheeks. “I missed you so much!”
I missed you more, the Sun answered.
I noticed Luna staring at me strangely. “What, do you think it is strange for me to speak to the Sun?” I asked.
“Oh, no, it is not that- but Celestia, it is supposed to be the middle of the night!”
“Oh,” I said, blushing. I turned to the Sun. “I suppose I have to put you back out. But we’ll see each other in a few hours.
I can’t wait.
I turned to Luna. “I am so sorry.”
Luna smiled. “I forgive you. I am sure this will never happen again.”
“It won’t.”
“Good to hear. Well, in that case, I think I shall try to catch a few hours of sleep before the morning. I have a feeling sunrise will be especially beautiful this morning.”
“It will, Sister. That I promise.”