Spike and I sat in silence. Twilight went out to get groceries for the tree house’ only two occupants. Occasionally Spike would look at me out of the corner of his eye. I’d catch him each time even though I was lying on my back sprawled out on the couch. He was in my peripheral weeping the floors and dusting the shelves.
*Knock Knock Knock*
“I’ll get it!” Said Spike while running over to the door. The pitter patter of the feet passed by the relaxing human and he opened the door. “Welcome…oh princess!”
“Hello Spike. Where is this creator I’ve heard about?” Came a regal voice. It sounded more personal now that I hear it in real life rather than through my speakers.
I sat up slowly to catch Celestia the sun princess herself walk into the door with Spike bowing beside her. I stood up and we met half way between us and we both did a short bow. Mine more like a nod of the head but it was slow enough to represent respect. Hers the same as mine was slow and regal.
I underestimated Celestia, she looks very regal in person. Almost like if I lied to her it would be considered a sin…
Good thing I’m a sinner.
“Hello Puppet Master. I’d like to get to know you.”
“Not much to learn about here Cells.”
“Cells?”
“You don’t mind if I call you that do you?”
She showed a mischievous grin that I almost gulped in nervousness upon seeing. “Only if I can call you pup.” She said in a happy practiced manor.
I was honestly impressed by that name. It was a lot like my other alias wolfGear that I chose to leave to my new double. I also happen to love puppies so you know…D’aww I’m a pup.
“You know. I like it. Call me pup from now on if you really want.” Celestia and I shared a laugh…or we would have shared a laugh if I found it funny so I just smiled like I was enjoying our conversation.
‘Yea two can fake a smile Cells.’ I thought to myself. That also caused my smile to be a little more genuine.
“Ok pup. I came here for your request. What is it you need? Oh you’re wolfGear’s superior or friend?”
“Meeeeeeeeeeeeeh kinda both. Like how you’re still the ruler of the country and you still consider Twilight your friend. Wait I’m right, right?”
“Spot on.” She said holding her head just a little higher. Probably because she’s proud of her student or she felt an ego boost when she was told by a god she’s a friend and mentor of a certain unicorn she taught since she were a young filly.
“Oh I’d really hate to do this but…I’m stuck. I’m not supposed to be here actually. In fact I don’t know how I got here. When wolfGear came here I thought it would be ok to let him roam and discover new things but then the weird stuff happened. You know how impossible it would be to one day be asleep then wake up and find yourself in the center of the earth?”
“Umm yes?” She said unsure as to where I was going.
“Me being here is just as impossible. Like I’m not supposed to exist on the same plane as you are. I’m from an entirely different world! Planet hopping like this is not possible.” I started to get a little frantic.
“Puppet Master please calm down.”
“Ok.”
“What is it you would like me to do?”
“I need a place to stay in Ponyville. More importantly I need something to do other than roam around like wolfGear.”
“Ah I see. Maybe I can interest you in a VIP guest suite in Canterlot instead?”
“No that’s too far from where I enter this world. You see I come from a random location in the Everfree and it would take too long to get to Canterlot from here to make it a convenient place to stay.”
“Hmm all right. You can stay with one of the villagers here. Just need consent from anypony and you can crash there for a while.”
I was momentarily stunned. “Did you say crash?”
“Yes why?”
*Celestia used slang. It was super effective!*
“Oh no reason.”
“I’m sorry is crash to formal?” Nope I miscalculated…she’s a try-hard.
“Wow that apology lost you points.” Oh shit I’m being a dick.
“Oh sorry if I offended.”
“Celestia…Why? Why are you so defensive right now?”
“I’m not defensive.”
“Well you had a good start by talking to me like a new friend but now you’re just trying to win my affections…not those kind but you know.”
“Well I’m used to speaking with delegates of other countries. I’m sorry if I’m being a little off.”
“Oh ok. I guess that’s why you asked Twilight to learn about the magic of friendship. Because you’re so busy you can’t do it yourself. I already know the meaning and magics of friendship you know?”
“Y-you do? Please tell me about it.” Her joyous demeanor became more genuine.
“But then I won’t have the satisfaction of watching your student teach you.” I smiled as large as I could.
“Oh poo.” She said under her breathe. I was frankly shocked a princess would say poo…ok not really but you know.
I gasped mockingly. “What is this? A princess who said POO?!” I said in a mock shocked tone. “What blasphemy is this!?”
Spike burst into laughter and so did Celestia. I felt pretty good.
“But seriously Celestia.” I said as their laughter died down. “Stop being so tense around me. I’m not all powerful right now. Mainly because my physical form is here now. Though when I die I might ascend to a higher plane of existence like the rest of my race.”
I truly believed that. When humans die their souls leave their body. I believe in the supernatural so I believe in roaming spirits. But then I remembered the fact that I’ve died in Terraria…When wolf and I were fighting the bosses I’ve died twice. I worry that I might be immortal…and I rejoice at the idea.
No one wants to die. But not many people can say they like living forever.
“Well actually when I came here I already found out that I can die repeatedly. I’ve died over in Terraria and came back so I’m not sure whether or not I can die…well by old age that is.” I noticed Celestia’s face had confusion plastered all over it.
“I’m sorry you’ve died?”
“Yes. If you wish you can kill me and I’ll come back.” She looked appalled.
“I would never!”
“Calm down, just know that if ever you feel I need to be removed from a location you can I don’t know…blast me? Hold on I don’t know how powerful you are. You don’t mind if you hit me with your magic do you?”
“Yes I mind! I couldn’t hurt somepony even if they’ve asked for it.”
“Very well. I won’t press the issue further. However if one day I’m tired of living…will you help me find a way to…move on?” I said seriously.
“N-no. I couldn’t help you with that. I’m sorry.” Spike looked between me and the princess’ solemn expression.
I sighed audibly. “Fine I guess I can live eternally and suffer for all eternity. But let’s not get hung up on such grim topics. I wanted free housing but I guess I can settle with ‘crashing’ at the library or Sugar Cube Corner.”
“Ok well…you don’t mind if I leave right?” She looked a little worried.
“I’m sorry did I scar you? In my culture eternal life is a gift and a curse. Depending on why you’re using this perk, it can either be a curse or a salvation. In my case I want an escape from my ‘curse’ if I have to. Without you or with you.”
“How can you talk about suicide so easily?”
“Because death is now part of my life. And I intend to accept the reality of my situation. You will not understand but I don’t expect you too. But if you try any intervention I swear I will take your bed!” Thankfully that lightened the mood. Celestia’s smile returned.
“Well I can’t convince you to reconsider but I’m glad you’re having fun being here.”
“Yea yea. Now I have nothing else to talk about. You have any questions for me that you want to ask?”
Celestia put a hoof up to her chin; it was an awkward thing to watch because I’ve never seen Celestia with so much personality. Maybe she’s opening up to me?
“…Do wingless dragons truly rule the sky?”
“No. wolf and I do. We basically murder any dragon that want’s to fuck up our shit.”
“I’m sorry?” She said.
“Never mind it’s a figure of speech or something.”
“Oh ok. Well that’s all I really want to know right now. I must get back to Canterlot. Someone needs to keep BlueBlood from insulting the wrong griffon.” She chuckles to herself.
“Well don’t let me hold you. Sorry for the way this conversation went. If you need anything that I might be able to help with don’t hesitate to tell Twilight to give me the message.”
“Thank you pup. I’ll see you some other time and hopefully we can get to know each other better. Goodbye!”
“Till we meet again!”
Celestia trotted out the door and when she was gone I turned to Spike who held a worried expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“You want to kill yourself? But you’re not depressed at all!”
“Nope. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“I’ll say.”
“Hey do me a favor and don’t tell anyone about it. If you want to talk about it then talk to me.”
“Sure. My lips are sealed.”
I followed Celestia outside.
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“Oh hello pup.” Said Celestia. She was in the chariot ready to return to Canterlot. “Is there something you wanted to talk about? Or did you want a hug?” She said with a mischievous smile.
“Hugs are nice but I don’t want one. I’m going to explore the town a bit. Maybe meet a few other ponies wolfGear knows.”
“Oh all right. Have a nice day. Guards to Canterlot!”
I waved her off. She flashed a smile in my direction and I found a new respect for Celestia…one that I buried quickly so I don’t become a mindless drone like the rest of these ponies.
Walking around Ponyville I came across…nothing of interest. I’ve been walking around for a good thirty minutes before I ultimately decided it wasn’t worth the time. I was about to pull out the magic mirror to go home before a heard a timid yet excited voice.
“wolfGear!” Fluttershy called me from across the street. I looked in her direction and saw Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy at a table. They were accompanied by Big Mac.
“Hello compatriots of the gear!”
“What the hay?” Said Rainbow. I walked over to their table and took a seat. They looked at me quizzically.
“I’m Puppet Master. I’m wolfGear’s lord. I also happen to be well versed in the art of offensive magic.”
“wolfGear’s lord?” repeated Fluttershy.
“Yes. When wolfGear was here I was controlling him. Hence the name Puppet Master. When wolfGear was here I was controlling him. I am well aware of how you and mac got together. Fact I was the one who ultimately decided to help you. Though recently I found myself in an impossible situation in becoming part of your world. Wolf and I are working together to make the best of it.”
“Umm yea I don’t believe you.” Said Rainbow Dash. “Not very likely that that’s true.”
“I don’t ask for you to trust or believe me. I frankly don’t care for your opinion as long as I’m left to do as I please. Thought I joined you so I can hopefully make friends.”
“Well sure I’m not against that.” Said Rainbow.
“Me neither.” Said Fluttershy.
“Eeyup.” Said Big Mac.
“Thank you. Is there any reason you’re here?”
“Well we were waiting for my mom so she can meet Big Mac.” Said Fluttershy. Rainbow started snickering.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Big Mac’s gunna have a surprise when he meets Fluttershy’s mother.” She said with an anxious grin.
“Oh is that why you’re sitting at a four pony table?” I said.
“Eeyup.”
“I should leave when she comes.”
“Nope.”
????
“We can get another chair dude.” Said Rainbow. “Hey waiter!” She shouted to a well dressed white unicorn. “We need an extra chair and menu!”
“Yes ma’am.” He went inside to get a chair.
“While we wait why don’t you talk about yourself. Since you know about us already.”
“Sure. I’m not the same creature wolfGear is. OH also Celestia and I agreed that my nickname was pup.”
“So pup how are you different from wolf?”
“Wolf like you ponies were created by the creator race. I am a creator myself. wolfGear is a Terrarian while I’m a human.”
“A-a human?” Said Fluttershy worried. They all were giving my wary looks.
“that’s right. Though I don’t know about you ponies and your mythology but I’m guessing by your reactions human’s must be considered some form of warmongering race.”
“Eeyup.”
“Then I ask you to throw away your previous assumptions of humans and judge me only on my character rather than the shape of my body.”
“Umm sure we can do that. Hey we judged someone on their looks before and it turned out she was a pretty nice pony.”
“Zecora right?”
“Yea how’d you know?”
“Same way wolf does.”
“Oh you researched his?”
“Eeyup.” I said giving Big Mac a grin that he returned.
“Oh pup do you like animals?”
“Yes but I don’t really want a pet at the moment. Puppies are adorable though so that’s why I was so enthusiastic about my nickname.” The waiter returned with an extra chair that he placed between Fluttershy and I.
“Thank you.” I said.
“You’re welcome sir.”
I saw a massive shadow of a pegasus guard. I assumed it was one of Celestia’s messengers coming to give me a request. I looked at the sky and spotted the large mare who was descending toward us. The rest of my company looked toward the sky as well when they noticed my attention was away from the group only to find me tracking a guard. Fluttershy looked excited and Rainbow looked almost impatient.
She landed in front of the group and was approached by Fluttershy. “Hi mom!” She said giving the guard a hug which she returned.
“Hello my little Flutters.” She said tenderly. She looked directly at me. “wolfGear? I’m honored to be in your presence. Not many earn the trust of Celestia so quickly.”
“Oh I’m not wolfGear. I’m Puppet Master, wolfGear’s lord. I’m basically the highest authority.”
“You sound more like a slave driver.”
“You know…you’re right! I do! Haha! But call me pup. Celestia and I have agreed that that would be my nickname if I get to call her Cells.”
“When was this?”
“Thirty minutes ago. Celestia came to Ponyville.”
“Oh I should have got a ride with her instead of flying the whole way. Now Flutters who is this stallion you said so much about.”
“Over here mother.” She walked her to the table with Rainbow Dash and a wide eyed Big Mac. “This is Big Mac my Coltfriend.” Said Fluttershy happily.
Big Mac shook himself out of his stupor. “Howdy.” He said regaining his composure. “What’s your name ma’am.”
“Barricade.” She said eyeing him suspiciously and with stone cold face. She was analyzing him intensely.
Rainbow was giddy because she wants to see Barricade tear Big Mac apart. I only guessed that because she literally couldn’t sit still and she had the biggest grin.
“Mommy please don’t scare him.” Said Flutttershy taking a seat between Big Mac and Barricade.
I understand why Rainbow was so giddy. This was bound to end badly…shit do I have to intervene? Dammit not this again.
“Please Mrs. Barricade let the stallion have a chance. I don’t personally know Mac but I do know he wouldn’t betray Fluttershy’s trust. He comes from an honest house. The Apple family is renowned for being honest and trustworthy in the time of need.”
“And I guess you’re an expert on his family because you’ve researched it.” She snapped at me. “You’re from another world and you don’t know how stallions work in Equestria. So I won’t listen to whatever you have to offer.”
Ok I was kinda mad. “Barricade I am the one who orchestrated the events that brought them together. If you dare attempt to drive them apart I will nail you to a cross.” What? I don’t want my work going down the drain because of a bitchy mother.
“E-excuse me?” She started glaring daggers at me. I felt my insides die slowly and I realized where Fluttershy got her stare. But I held strong and sucked it in. Everyone was watching the event unfold. Rainbow lost her grin and turned to a look of what can only be described as ‘what are you doing?’. Fluttershy looked genuinely afraid while Big Mac looked relieved at first but realized how deep in shit I was then gave me a frantic look. All of this I ignored while I stared directly into the eyes of my death.
Good thing I can’t die.
“You heard me.” I said with hostility. “You destabilize their relationship we are going to have some very VERY serious words.”
We stared into each other’s eyes with intense glares. It lasted ten seconds without incident and it showed no sign of stopping. We both felt the air become thick with suspense and even other tables joined in on watching the creature from another world have a staring contest with a Pegasus guard.
Then something I didn’t expect. There was a slight smile that suddenly appeared on her face for a brief moment. Now when I looked at the stare it was just an attempt not to laugh. Frankly I thought it was funny too so I let my intense glare slip for a moment to let her know I felt the same. We both had an understanding now. Then after a few seconds we both exploded into laughter. The stress immediately evaporated from the atmosphere and everypony relaxed.
Try looking at someone seriously while they do the same and let’s see you hold your blank expression.
“You know.” Said Barricade after our laughter died down. “Maybe I am being a bit harsh. Your stare is quite intense.”
“Trust me I was buckling under yours.”
“Haha I knew it was working! No one can resist its effects. It’s worse than real pain when I scold ponies for insubordination.”
“Well Barricade I was quite confused as to why you are so hostile toward Big Mac. He hasn’t done anything to offend you so the only other thing I can think of is if you had a bad experience with a stallion in your past.”
Fluttershy’s relief turned to sadness. I noticed it and I looked back at Barricade who wore a similar expression.
“Well back when I was married…my husband couldn’t take my stare. He felt like he had no freedom and he left me with Fluttershy.”
“Ah but I don’t understand how that relates to Big Mac.”
“Well he left me with Fluttershy and didn’t even ask about who would take care of her. I didn’t mind taking care of her but I still didn’t feel good after he left me without so much as a goodbye. I don’t want Fluttershy to go through the same thing. She’s not as strong as I am.”
“Oh don’t worry mommy.” Said Fluttershy giving her mother a hug. Barricade returned the embrace and took off her helmet and placed it on the table. She honestly looked like a larger and stronger than Big Mac. In fact she was a whole head taller than Mac.
“Don’t worry ma’am.” Said Big Mac. “I will never leave her.”
“You’d better not.” She glared daggers.
“Barricade.” I deadpanned. She turned to me with an apologetic smile. Her eye caught the mare next to me and she gave a quizzical look at Rainbow Dash.
I turned to look and Rainbow’s jaw was on the floor…not really but felt like it. She was looking at me as if she were in shock.
“H-how?” She shuddered. “How did you meet Barricades stare!?”
“With a great amount of difficulty?”
“…I’ll buy that. But dude that’s so cool. You need to teach me how to do that!”
“No. It involves mass murder of monsters and evil creatures and you need to die a few times.”
She stared at me with a blank expression. I turned back to Barricade who had already let go of Fluttershy.
“So I take it you’re single again.” I said with a smile.
“Don’t get any idea’s wise guy.” She said giving me the death glare again.
“Just saying…you’re quite attractive when you try to intimidate me. Why not turn this get together into a double date?”
She was still glaring daggers at me until a few seconds when she realized I wouldn’t return the glare she smiled. “Done.”
“Let’s start with occupation. I can tell you work for the guard but is there more to that?”
“Yes I am the captain of the pegasi corps.”
“Interesting. So do you hold a similar rank to Shinning Armor?”
“Yes we are equal rank. I’m stationed in Cloudsdale while he’s stationed in Canterlot. The Earth pony captain is stationed in Manehatten.”
“Interesting.”
“WHOA WHOA WHOA! Hold up!” interrupted Rainbow. “Are you really trying to have a relationship with Fluttershy’s mother?”
“What? Well yea I think it can work. You got a problem with that?” It was my turn to use a glare of my own in an attempt at authority. It worked like a charm and Rainbow recoiled a bit.
“N-no not a problem at all.” She smiled sheepishly.
“Then why did you ask?” I said dropping the stare and made it more of a genuine question. Though I think Barricade saw right through it and she stared at Rainbow Dash interested in what she might say.
“W-well um no reason.”
“We don’t do things for no reason dash.”
“W-well I do!”
“I don’t think so. If you said things without reason you would be blabbering about nonsense like Pinkie Pie.”
“Ok to be fair Pinkie does stay on topic.”
“True but you still haven’t answered my question.”
“GAH! Fine. Aren’t you like a lot younger than Barricade? Aren’t you in your twenties or something?”
“Yes why?”
“Oh…I don’t know if it would work out then.” Said Barricade.
“Why not?”
“I’m…43.”
“That’s a problem?” I said genuinely confused. “In my world it doesn’t matter how old you are to love someone. I’ve heard of a twenty year old marrying someone who’s seventy.”
“SEVENTY!” Shouted Rainbow.
“Yes. So Barricade do you still think this can work?”
“…” She was at a loss for words. “Maybe. We’ll have to see if you’re good husband material. Will you be able to take care of Fluttershy?”
“I already proved that my actions are in her best interest when they brought them together.” I emphisized my point by pointing my finger at Big mac and moved it back and forth between Big Mac and Fluttershy.
“Well all right I’ll give you a chance. Though don’t expect me to be available at all times.”
“Works for me. I’m usually off adventuring with wolfGear anyway.”
“So we’re both very busy…I don’t know about this.” She said rubbing the back of her head.
“Jesus Christ woman! Are you so quick to lose faith?”
“W-what? No I’m not! I’m the captain of the pegasi corps! I had to have faith to get where I’m at.” She said with authority in her voice. It was quite inspiring.
“See? Don’t run off with another stallion now. I need to check in on wolfGear and see how he’s doing. Here have my menu.” I handed the menu over to Barricade. “I’d ask for a kiss goodbye but we’re not at that point yet.”
I took out my magic Mirror.
“Oh real quick where is the pegasi corps HQ?”
“Why?”
“I want to break in and knock out all the guards and leave you a box of chocolates.” I said grinning from ear to ear.
“Hahahaha! I’d like to see you try!” She said laughing.
“Hehe all right. Anyway I bid you…ado” I looked into the magic mirror and disappeared.
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I found myself in the sky home and looking directly in the eyes of wolfGear.
“Sup wolf have a good time?”
*wolfGear activated PvP*
“Oh shit.”