//------------------------------// // Pinkie's Ancient Yak Tradition // Story: Shoot. Let's Be Santa. // by RunicTreetops //------------------------------// “...Where are we?” You blink. Last you checked, you were in Ponyville’s little theater. Now, the area around you appears to be… different. It’s caked in snow, and the temperature is drastically lower than it just was. Your warm clothing is doing little to protect you from the biting wind, and you immediately feel yourself shivering. Seriously, how did you get here? Where even is here? “Welcome to Yakyakistan, Anon! This is what I wanted to do with you today!” “YAKYAKISTAN?! Pinkie, how are we here?! WHY are we here?!” “First, some good ol’ holiday spirit. Second, we’re here because I want to take part in an ancient yak tradition, and I’m gonna need your help to do it!” You stare at Pinkie Pie, your mouth agape. Nonsensical though it may be, you’re willing to brush off the fact that you seemingly teleported halfway across the continent. That’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, after all.  What you’re less willing to brush off is taking part in an “ancient yak tradition.” Not that you have anything against the yaks, you just happen to know that their traditions tend to get a little… physical. And you’re far from sturdy. “A-and what would that tradition be, exactly?” “Simple!” she says with an enthusiastic smile as the two of you walk towards what looks to be a tall fence made of wood. “We’re gonna commit arson!” You stop in your tracks, causing Pinkie to turn and look at you. She tilts her head as if your confusion is unexpected. “...What?” “Arson?” “Yeah!” Donning her carefree smile once more, she wraps her hooves around your hand and continues to pull you forward. “Like I said, it’s an ancient yak tradition. Every year, the town of Yakle constructs a big ol’ yak made out of straw, and on Snilldar Fest, they SMASH IT!” “Oooookay?” Why are you not surprised? “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Snilldar Fest not for a few days? Also, what does that have to do with arson?” “Now that’s a silly question!” Pinkie stops tugging you along as you reach a massive wooden gate, but rather than knock or… do whatever it is you’re supposed to do at Yakyakistan, Pinkie begins to walk along the rest of the fence while beckoning for you to follow. “You see, a long long time ago, a mysterious yak set the straw on fire! The whole thing burned to the ground. At first, all of the yaks were really angry, but to their surprise, an avalanche happened that night and buried half the town! The yaks that had no homes were able to stay warm by the big straw fire!” “I… see.” “Now, it’s tradition to try to burn the straw yak to the ground before Snilldar Fest. To keep it interesting and to maintain the whole ‘it’s illegal to commit arson’ thing, Yakle locals will try to stop and arrest anycreature who tries. It’s like an unspoken rule to stop anyone from burning it down while secretly wanting it to be burned down.” “W-wait, what was that about getting arres–” “If someone succeeds in burning it down, Yakle celebrates with a huge bonfire! If it doesn’t get burned down, they get to smash it like usual! And since yours truly is an honorary yak, I figured it be an injustice to Yakle if I didn’t at least give it a try!” “And if you get caught?” “That’s what you’re here for!” …Huh? You sprint as fast as your legs can carry you through the shaking, snow-covered landscape. You breathe heavily as you use every ounce of strength you have to move as quickly as possible, not daring to look back at the source of the rumbling ground. To your left, Pinkie Pie runs alongside you, an uncharacteristic look of anxiety on her face. “What was THAT?!” you belt out through strained breaths. “Okay so I might have miscalculated my plan of attack.” “Miscalculated?!” “How was I supposed to know there was a family of twelve living in the shack I planned to hide in?” “Why am I even here?!” “If everything went according to plan, you would have distracted the crowd right when I shot the flaming arrow!” “How?! What crowd?! What flaming arrow?!” “Didn’t I tell you the plan earlier?” “NO!” “...Oh.” Even through her pink coat, her cheeks gain a reddish tint as she giggles nervously. “Oopsies.” “What now?! Half of Yakyakistan is chasing us!” “Just keep running!” “Can’t you zip us back to Ponyville? Like you did when you brought us here?” “It doesn’t work like that, Anon!” “But–” “JUST RUN!!!”