Bob looked himself over in the mirror, making sure his bowtie was on tight, and making sure there weren’t any wrinkles present in the suit. “You know,” the human sighed. “I hate wearing these things,” he sighed as he spun around. “Whaddya think, Azolf?” The changeling was laying on Bob’s bed, having spent the night in the human’s room… to cuddle with his preferred food source and friend.
“You look handsome, sir.” Azolf nodded. “I’m sure a filly or colt would love to take you on the dance floor,” Bob grimaced. “Is something wrong with that? I thought that you would love to have a ‘special somepony’. Everypony in Ponyville that had one, could not stop gushing over how much they loved said special somepony, and they looked so happy…”
“I would love to have a girlfriend. The problem is getting over the fact that I’m not ever going to see a human woman ever again, then I have to accept the fact that I’m dating a pony that’s sentient, and not some stupid farm animal that likes to roll around in its own shit. Then I’d have to find somebody who’d be willing to date all of this,” Bob gestured to all of himself. “And deal with the mental baggage that comes with it.”
“I would be honored, if you were of age, if you chose me as a mate, Bob,” the changeling shrugged. “I know you’re a teenager and your self image isn’t very good, but you’re not a bad human. You’re far from terrible, you’re pretty nice and as far from cruel as you can get. I mean… Your first concern during the meeting wasn’t the meeting, you just wanted to make sure your friends were okay. You gave me another chance despite how I deceived you for months!”
“That’s because everyone deserves a chance, bud,” Bob sat down next to the changeling and wrapped an arm around him. “You had your chance as Balto, but now you want your chance as Azolf to prove that you’re still my friend. So far, I’m liking what I’m seeing; you really were not acting when you were Balto, were ya?”
“No sir, after the first few weeks, I let my guard down and acted as I normally do, but I just didn’t talk. Would you like me to just go back to that stupid, little wolf pup?”
“No.” Bob said seriously. “One of my best friends is a shapeshifting bug pony, and you want me to hide you? Hell nah, you’re my best friend, you’re going to be around me as you, not what you’re pretending to be.” The human patted the changeling a few times. “You still like jaw scratches? I got an hour before I have to actually show up at the wedding, and I don’t think I’m going to get a lot of nice looks given that I actively sided with ‘one of the bad guys’ and all.. So I’m not exactly… looking forward to showing up.”
“...A jaw scratch would be nice…” the changeling relaxed as Bob caressed his lower jaw. “A little harder, please?”
“Ah, you’re doing the leg kicky thing that you did when you were pretending to be a canine!” Bob giggled. “Holy fuck, that is cute. Stop.”
“I can’t help it sir, it just feels so good…” Bob shook his head and kept on going until he had to go to show up to the wedding. The human picked up the now sleeping changeling, carried him across the hall, and deposited him in Chrysalis’s room, before heading down the hall towards the throne room, where the wedding was taking place.
Upon reaching the wedding room, Bob quickly worked his way around the outskirts into his place with the rest of the orchestra. He picked up the cello that he was supposed to play, and got ready for the moment. As he expected, a few ponies were glaring at him, namely Twilight Velvet and Night Light. The human took a deep breath; those two better not start hating him for what he did at the wedding. Bob shrugged; if they were going to hate him, then who was he to complain?
Bob steeled himself, and began playing as soon as the wedding had started. Twilight was looking rather pretty, in her dress, right next to Shining Armor who just looked like a badass in his suit.
Knowing how important of a moment this was, Bob did his damn best with the cello, even if it was mediocre by comparison to the other cello players in the band. “Fillies and Gentlecolts,” Princess Celestia said with a serene little smile. “We are here today to celebrate the union between Princess Mi Amore-”
“Princess Cadance is fine,” Cadance corrected.
“Princess Cadance and Shining Armor.” Spike presented the rings. “I now pronounce you… Mare and colt!” Bob gently set the rental cello on the ground.
“Woo!” Bob joined in the cheering as the, now, married couple walked out on the balcony. The human stepped down from where the orchestra was playing, and ran towards the aisle. Meanwhile, Celestia was telling Twilight how this was all because of her. The human shrugged; the day’s saved, Cadance and Shining are married, he just doesn’t care. He crossed his arms, leaned back, and simply chuckled while the two lovebirds got a little extra cuddlier than usual.
The human sighed when he managed to hear two sets of hooves approach him from behind. “Bob,” it was Twilight’s parents. The human spun around.
“Wassup?”
“We want to speak with you after the reception, alright?” Night Light asked.
“So you can yell at me for choosing a bug’s side over your son and daughter in law?” Bob asked.
“...Something like that,” Twilight Velvet admitted. “We just want to know why… For now, let’s all enjoy the wedding.”
During the reception, Luna had finally showed up, and took her spot besides Bob at the piano. Just before them is a microphone. “You sure you didn’t need practice before helping me sing a song you’ve never heard of?”
“I am sure, Bob. Give me a lyric sheet and I can follow along rather easily.” Luna hummed. “Or do you doubt my own musical prowess?”
“I don’t; you’re a better singer than I am. We got one song for Shining and Cadance to slow dance to, and I think I can skip the rock song I wanted to play since Pinkie seems to be jittering over at her spot over there.” Luna giggled as the pink mare was, in fact, violently jittering in place. Bob placed his hands on the piano and began playing. The human and Princess soon found themselves losing themselves in the song. Bob was just happy to get Luna to sing again, and Luna was just happy to spend time with her favorite, bipedal ape.
The two of them felt true joy for the brief moment of the song. By the end of it, Luna was nuzzling Bob while Pinkie ran off to begin the main event of the reception, which actually happened to be a song that Twilight herself was singing. The human and the Princess happily sat and swayed side to side on the piano bench as they watched everyone else enjoy the party.
“C’mon Bob,” the Lunar Princess whispered. “Let’s dance!”
“...Lulu, I can’t dance for shit.”
“I do not care, you and I are going to dance. Tonight's a night for celebration! And I choose to celebrate tonight with you!” Bob shook his head… Only for Luna to give him puppy eyes; the human found himself agreeing to the Princess’s pleas pretty quickly after that.
“So, how is this going to work? I don’t… know how I’m gonna dance with somebody with four legs.”
“This is how,” Luna got up on her hindlegs, using Bob to prop herself up. “Take one step back,” Bob did, as Luna took a step forward. She then took a step back and Bob stepped forward to follow suit. The two of them swayed across the dance floor soon afterwards. Cadance and Shining Armor were still the main event of the dance, as the human and pony duo didn’t want to ruin their reception, but the two of them danced and danced well. Occasionally Luna would break off from Bob and do a few solo moves, which to Bob, looked absolutely graceful despite Luna dancing on her hindlegs.
Bob quickly broke into a moonwalk back into Luna’s embrace and the two kept on dancing.
Unbeknownst to either Bob or Luna, Rarity was sitting with the rest of the girls, besides Pinkie who was laying on the floor and eating an entire cake, and Twilight who was still singing. She clapped her hooves. “Oh, if only Bob wasn’t so young!”
“Whooee,” Apple Jack chuckled. “Bob sure could get some better hoofwork, though.” On queue, Bob slipped and Luna tripped over him. The alicorn quickly landed on all four of her hooves, while Bob dropped on his right hand and spun on it. Bob slowly lowered his head to the ground and kept on spinning… and then he fell over with a loud grunt. “He just ruined the suit you made him, Rarity.” AJ pointed out.
“He WHAT!?”
Bob sat up while rubbing his back, there was a bunch of dirt on the back of his suit.
“I still do not understand how that human got so close with Luna so quickly,” Princess Celestia said behind the rest of the Elements of Harmony.
“Whaddya mean, your highness?”
“Just… Those two are up to something. I doubt it was just by random chance that Luna found Bob in our old home when Bob was at his worst.” Celestia said as she watched Luna use her hooves to feel up and down Bob’s back to see if he had broken anything. “Now all my sister can ever talk about is how she looks forward to seeing that human again, or planning out what to do whenever she gets the opportunity to meet him one on one.”
“I’m not one to question you, your highness, but I think you’re overthinking this,” Apple Jack shrugged. “All I can see is Bob actually having… fun without needing to play a silly song.” Bob had long since dragged Luna off to the side and had managed to get ahold of a tambourine that he was using to sing a silly little song to the Princess.
“And Bob isn’t one for planning anything out, Princess,” Rarity added. “I’m willing to bet that that colt only sees an opportunity to be with his favorite Princess.” Soon, Bob and Luna were just cuddling while sitting next to a wall on the outskirts of the party. “And if Bob was of age, I’m sure those two would be such a cute couple! Shouldn’t you be happy? Your little sister is as happy as can be. If Sweetie Belle had found herself a coltfriend, like she might’ve just done with Spike, and I could trust that colt to keep her happy, then I would be all for the two of them spending time together.”
“...But your little sister never started a revolutionary war, has she?” Celestia asked. “For all I know, Bob is a puzzle piece in one of Luna’s schemes, or Luna is being used by Bob. It never hurts to be too wary.”
“Um…” Fluttershy spoke up. “You being wary made Bob hate you. Then Luna got mad at you for hurting Bob's feelings. I think she’s still mad at you. Though I do think being wary is a good thing if you think it’s a good thing…”
“What for? Why would Luna be upset? She has a castle, full of servants that are willing to serve-”
“What are you talking about sister?” Luna asked. She walked up with a sleepy Bob on her back. “If you were wondering why I am still mad at you, then perhaps look at our servants, who are all too willing to run away from me. The same servants that you do not reprimand for yelling ‘Nightmare Moon’ the very moment I leave my private chambers.” Bob sleepily slurred something incoherent. “I know Bob, you wanted to get a cup of punch, but I am certain Pinkie Pie spiked it.”
“Blah, the humors of whisky,” Bob grumbled as he let out a very audible sniff. “Did you know that you smell like Luna?”
“...Luna, what did you do to Bob?” Rarity asked.
“He woke up at four thirty in the morning so he could practice the song that we sang together some more. My poor baby is learning his lesson.” Bob slid off of Luna’s back before standing up like he wasn’t nearly drooling on the Princess of the Night.
“Actually, I wanted to give Rarity and Apple Jack ‘tickets’ to a concert. After singing that song together, me and Luna spent a lot of time sitting next to that wall…” The human hummed. “And I came up with a plan to fix up Luna’s image… By making a band with her. We already brainstormed a few ideas over there. I also just wanted to be carried, so Luna hit me with a very, very, very weak sedation spell and carried me over here.”
“Wait, you want to take my sister from her duties to make a silly little band?” Celestia asked.
“Yeah. Luna already has to divert so much time away from her duties to prep a bath for herself, or to make food. Like you give her anything to work on to begin with,” Bob waved a dismissitary hand. “Plus it’ll be a one time thing, unless Luna enjoys it.”
“I probably will. Being seen as a popular artist instead of a demonic entity would be a nice change of pace…” Luna hummed as she looked like she was strongly considering choosing a new path in her life.
“What… is a demonic entity?” Celestia asked.
“A term Bob uses a bunch to describe how ponies saw me before, and after my banishment, my loving sister. It means everypony thinks I’m evil.” The sound of a chariot riding off into the night could be heard. “It seems as though the reception is over…” Luna nuzzled Bob. “I want a cuddle buddy tonight. Can you be of assistance?”
“Can Azolf come along? Changelings are weirdly amazing for cuddling.”
“Of course! The snuggles will be tripled with Azolf’s presence… if you can get him to massage my wings again, I will happily welcome him to thy royal snuggle time!” Bob hopped back on Luna’s back and she flew off out of a window after breaking it.
Celestia’s wings rustled. If anyone had a particularly strong sense of smell, they could smell gold melting.