"...WILL BE ARRIVING IN THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE IN APPROXIMATELY FIVE HOURS TIME. THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING CANTERLOT RAILWAYS AND..."
I stopped paying attention, my lavish surroundings so much more enthralling than the conductor's announcement of departure could ever be. Looking around at the ridiculously posh train-car we'd been provided with, -- an entire car, all to ourselves -- I still couldn't believe it was real. The Immortal Sisters had permitted us the use of their private coach for our trip to the Empire. Their train-car made the mansion I had back in my town seem like a peasant's shack.
It only took a quick look around to make it more than apparent that any and all reservations were completely foregone when the company built this car. Being inside of it was like being in the fanciest suite one of Canterlot's finest hotels had to offer. The room had some of the most luxurious furnishings I'd ever laid my eyes on. Three beds -- all small enough to fit in the car, but large enough to accommodate a creature as big as Celestia... at least one of the beds -- were arranged in a single file along the wall of the cabin. Each had its own motif and all of them were made of the finest materials limitless bits could buy.
The first, -- the largest of the three and currently occupied by Sunset -- was bright and vibrant, colored with various gold and red hues. It was covered in small frilly pillows. I was guessing cashmere had been the primary material used to make it all. Celestia's cutie mark emblazoned the skirt of the bed at regular intervals, indicating to whom it belonged.
The second, -- slightly smaller than Celestia's, but every bit as extravagant, if not moreso -- was made of silk and darker... much, much darker. Black and shades of blue, Luna's moon in its various phases and countless twinkling stars decorated the bed Twilight was sitting on.
Finally, the mattress I sat atop was by far the smallest, but still more than accommodating for a normal-sized pony. Mostly white with a few maroon accents, Raven's cutie mark was stitched into the soft cotton pillows on the bed.
Pretty sensible.
All three were built into the floor of the car and were flanked by exquisitely made recliners which all shared the same theme as their counterparts. There was a small oak table against the wall of the car opposite the beds.
Probably for doing paperwork.
I was certain if there was room for it, there'd be a far bigger table. It was all pretty crazy. The level of extravagance wasn't even mentioning things like the carpeting or the sparkling chandelier hanging from the ceiling above us.
That thing has to be enchanted.
We'd already been visited by attendants three times so far. Every couple of minutes another pony would arrive, asking us if we needed any refreshments or other amenities. It was the height of opulence... probably something beyond that when I took into account what my life had been like back in my town.
"If you're nervous... we can talk or something, Twilight," Sunset broke the silence that had settled on the three of us. It was evident she was just as uncomfortable as the violet unicorn. Her slouched posture and downcast gaze were self-explanatory and they almost perfectly matched Twilight's demeanor. Sunset may have been feeling bad for her friend, but Twilight was clearly worried about herself. She was the one who had the most at stake in taking this trip. I kind of felt the same way Sunset did for the purple unicorn. But...
Twilight... or me.
I wasn't exactly free of worry taking this trip either. I had way too many things on my own mind. That... thing's offer. The possibility of the Queen betraying Celestia and throwing me in a dungeon or worse.
Let her try.
The safety of the two mares sitting before me -- if I had, in fact, infuriated the monarch -- could also be in jeopardy.
They could just as easily be walking into a trap with me.
Worrying about Twilight's issues was something I did not have the time for right now.
But even so...
It really bugged me when the two of them acted like this. I wanted to grab them both and give them a good beating. I wanted them not to worry so much. I wanted them to feel the way they'd tried to make me feel. I... I cared, and that made my skin crawl.
Once I'd learned just how heartless the world could actually be, I started to prioritize myself and my own needs. It's how I'd survived for all these years with nopony to rely on. I didn't want to care about anypony else, no matter what I'd said.
I'm sorry, Celestia. I don't.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Thirty minutes prior
"I'll miss you, my dearest."
I wasn't trying to eavesdrop on Luna and Twilight, but it was hard not to when they were standing so close to me. The Princess of the Night and her pupil were holding each other close, both clearly not wanting to separate from the other. Their lovey-dovey crap was beginning to gross me out, so I decided to give them more space.
Walking several paces away, I turned my attention to Celestia and Sunset who were, unfortunately, doing much the same as the other duo.
Ugh... yuck.
Neither of the princesses had said a word to me after greeting the three of us when we'd arrived at the train station. Not that that really mattered to me. I didn't care.
I don't care.
I fiddled awkwardly with my saddlebags, contemplating whether I should check my supplies one more time just to be sure I hadn't forgotten anything. Instead, an annoying pebble on the ground drew my ire. I stepped on it before roughly sweeping a hoof to kick it away.
"Starlight?" I nearly fell over due to Luna's gentle call, my hoof completely missing the rock and flailing wildly in the air.
"Y-yes, Your Highness!?" I focused on the Night Princess as soon as I'd recovered from my bungled act of aggression, an embarrassed blush heating up my face. She'd gotten a kick out of my tomfoolery, an entertained smile on her face.
"Are you prepared for the journey before you?" she regarded me kindly, but I was a little more than annoyed at her.
"I am." I looked back down at the stupid rock that'd made me look like a fool. "Why'd you leave Twilight alone?" I glanced at the purple unicorn who was now standing next to the door of the train. She was looking over a scroll, writing on it every couple of seconds with a quill held in her magic. "I'm sure she's already missing your company."
Luna chuckled as she drew closer. "I believe my dearest is as ready to face her past as she'll ever be," she looked lovingly at the young mare, though there was an obvious sadness in her smile too. "Any more prolonged interaction and we risk not being able to part with one another."
"So you came to talk to me because you can't talk with "your dearest" anymore?" I glared at the rock, taking my pent up anger out on it. The hard stomp I delivered turned it to dust in an instant.
"No, Starlight. You are quite mistaken," she walked up to me, her hooves entering my field of vision. I lifted my head to look up at her, the same warm smile she'd had for Twilight now directed towards me. "You are my student as well. I came to speak with you because you are important to me too."
...
I wanted to make a sarcastic comment. I wanted to be snide. I wanted to push her away. But everything she'd done for me was finally beginning to wear down my resistance.
I can't... but...
"So... is this the real you or the one I met back in the lab?" I may not have been able to resist her kindness any longer, but that didn't mean I was ready to just roll over for her either. "How do I know you're not lying to me?"
"You don't, Starlight." Her blunt words caused me to do a double take. "I will lie to you when it is necessary to do so," she stated, though her expression didn't falter a bit.
"W-what!?" my eyes sprang open at her bold reply.
"I will always strive to be whatever you need me to be, Starlight," she hugged me. "If a lie is what you need to hear, I shall tell one without hesitating."
I froze, my body turning to ice. Her sudden touch had shocked me, but it was more than welcome. I scoffed, though I still reluctantly reciprocated her action.
I guess I don't mind losing to her every so often.
My own thought surprised me, but it was, indeed, the truth.
"Thanks... Your Highness." We squeezed each other before separating.
"Think nothing of it, dear," she smiled.
As far as I was concerned, the Princess of the Night had done more than enough to show me she cared. It was nice, having somepony I could trust again.
Maybe even with...
"Y-Your Highness, there's something I need to talk with you ab-"
The blast of the train's horn cut me off, drawing everpony's attention to the hulking vehicle.
"ALL ABOARD!"
It was time for us to go.
Darn it.
"If need be, I can delay the train's departure, Starlight. Is it something important?" the Night Princess asked as the two of us moved toward the door Twilight had already entered to board the train.
"It's alright, Your Highness," I replied as Celestia and Sunset joined us by said door. "I'll tell you about it first thing when I get back."
"Very well, dear," she patted my shoulder with a hoof. "Have a prosperous trip."
We stepped away from one another, letting Sunset walk by so she could enter the train. The unicorn offered me a quick smile before saying her farewells to Luna, giving the Night Princess a hug before boarding. It was kind of... strange.
Since we had first arrived at the station, Celestia and Luna seemed to be avoiding each other's gaze. Just now, after her student had given her younger sister a hug, Celestia looked like she'd eaten something extremely bitter, if only for a brief moment. When the Sun Princess noticed my gaze on her she slipped one of the best masks she possessed onto her face immediately.
Honestly... I don't even wanna know.
With a polite smile given to the Princess of the Day, I turned around to board the train as well.
"Starlight?" Celestia's soft voice stopped me in the doorway.
Guess she's not just gonna let me leave.
I turned to face her, though I really didn't want to. I was praying she hadn't heard the frustrated sigh that had unwillingly escaped my lips. I had enough on my mind, I didn't need any more pressure on my shoulders.
"Yes, Your Majesty?" I kept as blank an expression as I could muster.
She walked up to me, the mask of serenity comfortably attached to her face. She wrapped a foreleg around me, though the motion was far from fluid, her hoof accidently colliding with my withers before finding my shoulder. "You are every bit as strong as you think you are, Starlight." While her demeanor was unsettling her voice was as steady as a rock. "Take care of yourself. And, no matter what happens, hold close to your friends... even if it may hurt them." I drew back in confusion, looking her in her violet eyes. "I believe in you, Starlight."
Normally, I would've laughed at her or thought she was a complete moron. It was such a cliché line, but my mind was stuck on what she'd said just before it.
What is that supposed to mean?
"Please... Starlight?"
The desperation in those two words... in her eyes...
Please, Starlight?
Without thinking any further I threw my forelegs around her. "I will," I bit my lip. "I will, Celestia. I'll hold tight even if it hurts."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You promised her, Starlight.
Twilight still hadn't replied to Sunset. The purple unicorn kept staring out of the window, her mind clearly on what she was to face in the Empire.
I groaned before making the completely stupid decision of opening my big fat mouth.
"Sparkles!" I nearly shouted, but I managed to keep my voice somewhat under control. She slowly turned her head my way, completely devoid of enthusiasm or even interest. She looked at me like I was an insignificant ant that had stumbled its way into her vision.
"What?" she asked evenly, her chin resting on her hoof.
"Sunny and I..." I smiled at the golden mare before taking a deep breath and refocusing. "We're both here," I returned my gaze to the obviously troubled pony. "You're... you're not alone."
Without saying a word Twilight stood from the bed, walking my way without taking her eyes off of me. I snuck another glance at Sunset, a worried look on her face that had to be mirroring my own. Twilight stared into me, not a single discernable emotion on her to be found.
...
"Why are you here?" she finally spoke, her voice as emotionless as her expression. Her question was not what I'd expected to hear from her.
"W-what?" I felt my heart begin to pound.
"Twilight, what do y-"
"Why are you here, Starlight?" Twilight cut Sunset off, her voice still deathly calm.
What is she...
She already knew the answer to that question. The three of us had discussed it yesterday at breakfast.
"Twilight..." I did me best to keep a cool head.
I should've just kept my mouth shut. Just be friendly. Just... try to be friendly, Starlight.
"You know why I'm here, Twilight. Queen Cantata ask-"
"NO STARLIGHT!" she snapped, her face contorting in anger before she was able to revert back to her previous monotone state. "Why are you here? What do you want?"
"Sparkles I-"
She wasn't having any of my games, interrupting me immediately.
"You say you're here for me," she blushed. "F-for us, but our... but the princesses made you stay!" she suddenly looked every bit as desperate as Celestia had when I boarded the train. "How can I believe you!? You'd leave this second if you could! There's nothing that ties you to me or to Sunset! How do I know you won't just get bored with us!? How do I know you won't abandon me just like-" her eyes widened, her jaw going slack.
I understood where she was coming from. How could I not after all of that? It was all his fault.
He'd left her.
As she tried to flee to the door at the back of the car, I grabbed her with a hoof, stopping her.
"Twilight..."
"Let go of me, Starlight," she growled, trying her best to jerk her foreleg away from me, but I was much stronger.
I wasn't really sure what to do to stop her from fighting, so I said the only thing that came to my mind.
"I'm not him, Twilight." She tensed at my words. Her eyes were filled with so much exhaustion I almost let go of her out of pure shock. I could only ever recall one of my toys having a similar look. When I was first experimenting with it, testing to see how much it could bear, I'd pushed it to the brink of mental collapse and it looked exactly like she did right now.
"Prove it," she stated lifelessly.
...
A knock at the door snapped our heads to attention. I looked at Sunset, still not letting go of Twilight. "It's probably another attendant." The golden mare's statement made enough sense to chase away my confusion.
Twilight cleared her throat, drawing my gaze. "I'll answer it." She gently tugged her foreleg. After a second, I reluctantly let her go.
...
"Good afternoon, Miss Sparkle! I trust the accomodations are to your liking?" I couldn't see the bubbly mare that was at the door, but it was clear she was an attendant.
"Very much so," Twilight responded in kind, somehow quickly concealing the previous dour mood she had.
"That's good to hear! Is there anything I can bring for you or your companions?"
"That won't be necessary, thank you for checking," Twilight replied politely.
"It's my pleasure! An attendant will be along in a couple of hours with your complimentary lunches," the mare was a consummate professional, not missing a beat. "If you need anything else before then, staff will be moving throughout the train for the duration of the trip."
"Thank you," Twilight had somehow managed to remain polite. I already wanted to throttle the overly enthusiastic mare.
"It's my pleasure, Miss Sparkle!" And with that said, she left us.
Twilight closed the door before quietly walking back to her bed and taking a seat once again. She went right back to staring out the window, the look of indifference on her face the exact same as before. Sunset and I looked at each other silently. Now, she was just as uncomfortable as I was. When it came to her though, it was probably a whole lot more concern for Twilight than discomfort because of the situation that had just transpired. I tilted my head in the direction of the moping mare repeatedly, hoping the golden unicorn would get the hint.
...
"T-Twilight..." Sunset finally sighed after a minute had passed.
She doesn't know what to say either.
"I'm sorry," Twilight wiped her eyes with a hoof. Her words caught the two of us completely off guard. "It's just... I haven't seen my brother in years. I'm still so mad at him and... and..." her head fell as she began to cry.
If one of us doesn't do something for her soon, she might have a nervous breakdown.
I wanted to do something. I wanted to try and help, but I couldn't get what happened in the lab out of my head. Sure, Sunset had apologized to us, but what if me and Twilight...
My trepidation forced me to wait quietly.
Sunset stood to her hooves, walking over to the distressed mare in a hurry. She sat down next to her, deciding not to hug her or even touch her, but allowing Twilight to make that decision instead.
"Starlight isn't lying to you, Twilight." I smiled at Sunset's words. "We are here." Surprisingly, Twilight leaned her head on Sunset's shoulder, eyes closed as her crying slowly ceased. "We're your friends and we care about you. We'll help you get through this. Just... let us in. Please?"
Wow Sunny... not bad.
I didn't even care that she was speaking for me. I really did want to help Twilight just as much as she did.
For Celestia's sake.
...
Yeah, for her sake.
"Okay..." Twilight whispered. "I'll try."
...
"If you want, we can do some mana exercises," I suggested. "It might help you take your mind off things, Sparkles." The train car was spacious enough to practice and it's not like we needed that much room to do so anyway.
"That sounds fun," Twilight answered without opening her eyes or lifting her head. "Just... let me stay like this for a little while longer. Please?"
"Alright," I smiled.
Seeing the glow that came to Sunset's entire body when Twilight said that brought a genuine smile to my own face. She looked so happy and seeing just how at peace Twilight had become... it was nice.
They do look cute together.
...
But...
Then why...
Why does seeing them like this...
Why does it feel like I'm being stabbed in my heart?