//------------------------------// // 21. Real is as Real Does // Story: Imperatives // by Sharp Quill //------------------------------// Discord scratched his goatee. “I’m not sure, actually. We didn’t really keep track of time back then, the way we do now.” He looked up in thought for a moment. “I’d say between fifty-five hundred and six thousand years ago.” “Surely we can narrow it down better than that,” Meg said. “Were any pyramids built yet? Any humungous stone structures at all?” There were none that Smooze had to erase, but that didn’t mean Discord had not himself “had fun” with them prior to the Great Erasure. “Pretty sure there were not.” So at least around five thousand years ago. “What about writing? Had that been invented yet?” Discord grimaced. “Barely. Jabbing the ends of sticks into soft clay. So primitive compared to what they could say. There was much we taught them—well, mostly I taught them. Sis wanted to see how they’d develop on their own. So she conceded me some and ensured the rest remained untouched.” He rolled his eyes. “Not that was really an option considering how we had mismanaged our copy of your world.” “So,” Twilight began, “what happened to the humans? Even before Meg erased all evidence of their prior existence, they had gone extinct.” Meg and Twilight appeared on the rooftop, the same one from which they had previously tried to fix the anomaly. It was easy enough to see, in the early afternoon sun, what had or had not changed. The building they were on: it seemed the same. Wind: down to a mild breeze. The hole in the ground: larger. But not much larger. Maybe a few dozen feet? It’d be nearly double the size if not for their efforts. “I guess it still counts as a win,” Meg said. “It certainly buys us more time.” Less than a block away from the hole, a perimeter had been re-established, and behind it was activity galore. “Let’s get a closer look?” Meg asked. Twilight took off in response, and Meg followed. They came to a stop above them and observed. Someone pushed a cart towards the perimeter, which was shockingly close to the hole, joining numerous others already there with their own equipment. Once the cart reached the tape, a probe of some sort extended forwards, presumably into the anomaly. “Can you analyze the anomaly’s spell from here, or do we go down there?” “The closer the better, quite honestly.” Twilight shifted her gaze away from the anomaly and towards the humans gathered nearby. The military was there, keeping the public at a distance. Over there were the media, considerably more abundant than before. More scientists too; additional tents had been set up. “It can’t be this crowded around the whole thing.” It was hard to tell from there, what with the anomaly’s distortion of light passing through it. Meg jumped into the air. “Only way to know is to go there and look.” The pegasus gained altitude as she flew around the anomaly, Twilight by her side. The perimeter had to be at least a mile around, yet without fail wherever a road intersected it there was activity. The little show they had put on yesterday was almost certainly the cause, but could so many have gotten here so fast? “Maybe there? At least it’s free of media.” “True.” Twilight did not begin a descent. “I wish there was some way to get under it. That’s where a spell holding it up must be active, right?” Meg shrugged. “Maybe? But tunneling under it doesn’t seem practical, not unless you have a tunneling spell handy.” “What, no tunneling machines?” “Oh, they exist. It’s just not practical. Even if money wasn’t a problem, it’d take too long.” Twilight sighed. “I’d like to see one of your tunneling machines in action, but not today. Okay. Let’s go down. If only the anomaly wasn’t putting out too much magic—hold on…” Her horn glowed for a second, then she smiled. “It isn’t; that time dilation spell has vastly reduced the magic radiating from it. Our magic bubbles are up and keeping us invisible. Excellent.” Losing no time, Twilight dived, aiming for the largest gap, about a dozen feet wide, between scientists. Meg followed. They could be done and gone in a few minutes, no one the wiser. Worked for her. By the time Meg landed, Twilight was already at work, her glowing horn pointed downwards. Seconds passed. “Not yet…” More seconds. “Maybe? False alarm… no… there.” She raised her head and looked at Meg. “Got it. Let’s go.” Twilight vanished. Meg invoked the return spell; Twilight was waiting for her in the cavern. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What’s holding it in place?” Twilight’s smile was triumphant. “There’s another spell there, as suspected. It won’t let anything denser than water to pass through. The spell is anchored to the other spell, in the center of the anomaly, thus holding it up.” Meg scrunched her muzzle. “But there’s a depression underneath it. Obviously concrete, dirt, and rocks have gone inside the anomaly.” “Easy enough to explain. As the anomaly expands, that other spell shifts downwards; it stays where space is normal—relatively flat, that is. Stuff that used to be on the other side now finds itself in expanding space, spreading it out, destroying its structural integrity and vaporizing it, allowing it to disperse into the growing vacuum inside.” It seemed to explain everything… Hold on a second… “Wouldn’t that time dilation spell mess with the ‘suspension’ spell?” “No, because it’s outside the region affected by that spell. There’s still enough magic flowing out of the anomaly to power it. The strength may be low, but it’s over a large area.” “Yeah… no work’s being done—in the physics sense—so conservation laws are appeased.” Meg pointed at the crystal ring upon her desk. “Now that the time loop computed the necessary spell”—because that was, in effect, what had happened—”shall we go for it?” Twilight grabbed it in her magic. “We’re going for it.” One new spell was layered onto the crystal ring, and they went to the usual side tunnel. “This time, time travel should happen,” Twilight declared, then she cast the spell. Nothing happened. “You had to jinx it,” Meg said. Twilight scowled and cast it again. Nothing happened. “I know the drill.” Meg stepped back. Four more times the time travel spell failed. Twilight was fuming. “What are we missing.” Meg collapsed to her haunches. “I haven’t a clue.” Twilight walked back and forth, deep in thought. “Sleep on it?” Meg suggested. “Take care of other matters for now?” The alicorn, still upset, came to a halt in front of Meg. “I guess we don’t have much choice, do we?” An exhale. “And it’s not like the clock is ticking—at least time travel gives us that.” The mirror portal awaited Meg. “You still want to go through with this?” Steve asked. Her eyes remained fixed on the shimmering surface. “I just want a taste of normality. But…” She sighed. “But… it’s just a taste.” “Yeah.” They stood silent for a moment. Steve finally broke it. “It’s up to you. I’ll do whatever you decide to do.” Meg grimaced and took a step forward. Steve also took a step forward. “This is silly,” she grumbled, and plowed through the portal. On the other side was the living room of their old apartment, as it was before they were driven out of their world. That is what she expected as she went through the portal, and the mirror realm delivered. Steve was standing beside her, looking completely normal—normal, specifically, by Earth standards. “Sure brings back memories,” he said. She looked down at her hands, not vaguely orchid colored but her true human skin color. “Nice to know this place can do proper humans.” Turning around, there was only a wall. The portal was there, of course, if not visible. Steve had gone into the kitchen and was opening the cabinets one by one. The shelves held what they were supposed to hold. “Too bad we can’t take any of this back.” “No,” she confirmed. Any attempt to bring back objects from the mirror realm had in the past always failed. The objects simply wouldn’t go through the portal. They wouldn’t go through the other way either; they simply vanished upon entering the realm and reappeared when re-entering Equestria. Sort of like their physical bodies, actually. Putting that USB port on the computer that controlled the portals was rather pointless, in hindsight. Meg went to a window and opened the blinds. She saw exactly what she expected to see. How far could she walk before reaching the end of the simulation? Surely she couldn’t have recreated the entire world! There was the remote control for the TV. Did she dare turn it on? What would be on the cable news channels? Steve spared her the decision. He grabbed the remote and pushed the “on” button. For several seconds the screen remained blank. Finally, it displayed “searching for signal on this channel.” He tried changing the channel a few times, with the same result. “Guess that answers that,” Meg said. Yep, definite limits to this simulation. He shut off the TV. “So now what?” She plunked down on the sofa—their sofa, at least identical to the one they had bought just two years ago. “I dunno.” “We could go to that Thai place for lunch.” He smiled. “That’d be a taste of normality.” She looked at him. “Ha Ha.” Her head fell against the cushion. “What’s food in this place anyway? It’s not real, just like these bodies aren’t real.” Steve shrugged. “Real is as real does. What is real? How do we know Earth and Equestria aren’t simulations themselves?” Meg looked askance at her husband. “If they are simulations, at least they’re simulations that are not trivial to reprogram.” “Fair point.” He gently sat down next to her. “But aren’t we just beating around the bush?” Meg was silent. “Look, I get it. Our lives have been turned upside down. Maybe if we’d had a clue we could have told Twilight to get lost, then convince ourselves we somehow had a shared hallucination and lived our lives none the wiser.” “Did we really have that option?” Meg grumbled. “Aren’t you forgetting the Pinkie Pie doll? The reason Twilight paid us a visit in the first place?” “Then she would’ve… done something without us knowing about it.” Meg glared at him. “And who bound the magic leak to that doll? Not us, in that scenario. So why our doll, in that case?” Steve exhaled. “I don’t know.” “Precisely. To tell Twilight to get lost would’ve cause a paradox. We had no choice. QED.” “No, not QED. There’s a flawed assumption in your argument. You assume there was no superposition. Granted, if Twilight paid us a visit, then the time loop required that we welcome her; you’re correct about that. But what if she had visited someone else? Indeed, if we had truly been dead set on rejecting her, then the superposition could not have included us because that would’ve lead to a paradox.” “We would still have found out about ponies being real, along with the rest of the world.” It was a non-sequitur and she knew it but couldn’t help saying it. “Maybe, maybe not. We can’t know how things would’ve turned out with someone else. Regardless, we would still be living our old lives and that’s the point. The reason we’re not is because we were open to Twilight, because we did choose to explore the possibilities she represented, and that is almost certainly why the collapse of the wave function had a high probability of picking us.” Meg dropped her head into her hands. The irony, of course, was that if they had “chose” differently, they would have been oblivious to ever having made that choice. “Fine,” she conceded. “That still leaves us where we are. How do we get our old lives back?” “I don’t know,” he admitted. “The joke is, there are countless bronies who’d happily exchange places with us, to be able to live in Equestria and be friends with the Mane Six.” The joke didn’t seem that funny. “Too bad for them the wave function collapse picked us.” “We take it one day at a time. Maybe things will get better after the anomaly is gone and the convention is held at Discord’s theme park.” And maybe pigs will fly. But, Meg sourly considered, this was Equestria; Discord need only make it so. He stood up. “I think we’ve been here long enough.” “Maybe you’re right.” She got up herself. “Let’s go—though first let me reset this realm back to the portal control room.” “Oh, I don’t know…” Steve was suddenly smiling. “Can you imagine sending Lyra here?” Meg scowled. “You know she doesn’t have a hand obsession.” “Yes, yes…” he said, waving that away. “It could still be useful—think about it. Sooner or later ponies will be visiting Earth. Why not use this realm to let them know what to expect?” He held up a hand to fend off an obvious incoming objection. “Set this realm to leave ponies ponies, except maybe for us and a few others like Sunset Shimmer.” She had to admit the idea had… possibilities. “It would mean the mirror portal would no longer be so secret, though.” “We can talk to the princesses about it. The original reason for secrecy has become academic, I’d say.” Back when it led to a realm that for unexplained reasons had a copy of every pony—well, the important ones, for some definition of important—mapped to colorful humans, most of whom were high school students, also for unexplained reasons. Regardless, that was quite clearly no longer the case. “I’ll mention it.” Twilight Sparkle paced back and forth in Pandemonium Plaza, waiting for the signal. Serrell had strongly advised against opening the portal at a preset time, but rather wait until all candidates had been gathered at the designated spot. So she paced, waiting, her phone floating ahead of her. Not often did she bother to leave home with it, but this time she had made sure to bring it along. Sunset Shimmer was waiting outside the mirror portal, her own phone at the ready. When Twilight received the call, she would in turn give Sunset a call, and the portal would be opened. “Why doncha give yer hooves a rest, Twilight. Pacing ain’t gonna speed them up.” Twilight kept on pacing as she check the time on her phone. “They’re twelve minutes late, Applejack.” That it had been proven correct to avoid a preset time did not make the delay any easier to deal with. And where was Pinkie Pie? Once she had set up the table of treats and refreshments she had pronked away, going forth to explore the theme park. She ought to have been back by now, ready to greet the newest arrivals to their realm. She had been quite insistent about it. Or maybe her Pinkie Sense told her they’d be late. Who could tell with her? Maybe that’d explain Pinkie’s absence, but what about Rainbow Dash’s? Applejack addressed the draconequus, who was busy inspecting the rioting colors on the nearby flowers. “Don’t suppose anything you could do to speed things up?” Discord’s muzzle remained buried in the flowers. “Nope. Outside of my jurisdiction.” She adjusted her Stetson. “Couldn’t hurt to ask.” Another minute passed. Rainbow Dash finally returned, apparently having completed her own sight-seeing, and came to a hover before them. “They’re late, aren’t they?” Applejack glared at her. “Don’t you start too. You don’t even have to be here.” “And leave you defenseless? Ya, right.” Discord finally pulled his head out of the bushes. “I believe that to be my pleasure.” “Aren’t you supposed to be out of sight or something?” Twilight stopped her pacing. “Enough, you two—” Her phone rang. She accepted the call. “Twilight here.” “It’s a go.” “The portal will open within a minute.” Twilight ended the call and started a new one. It was answered quickly. “It’s a go?” “It’s a go.” After ending that call, she addressed Discord. “Why don’t you go work on your hotel now?” He saluted her. “Remember: just say the word,” he said, and vanished. “Finally!” Whatever Rainbow had meant by that would remain a mystery, for right then the portal opened. Through it could be seen a large room with three dozen or so humans in it, only two of whom were known to Twilight. Many of the others were from other nations. She had had few encounters with such humans; this would prove most interesting. One of the two whom she did know walked right up to the portal and peered through, looking around but not stepping through. “Permission to enter Equestria?” asked Special Agent Paul Reubens. Twilight smiled at the familiar face. “Permission granted, by my authority as Princess of Equestria.” The exchange was just a formality, theater really—that was the whole point of the portal, after all—but after looking over that crowd of observer-wannabes, perhaps theater was the right idea. “Right this way.” Reubens himself then stepped through and to the side. The others hesitated, but slowly and surely they dribbled through the portal. Rainbow Dash kept an eye on the growing collection of humans; Applejack did likewise, but more casually. Last one through was Special Agent Jessica Fowler. A few remained on the other side, by the door, presumably other agents to ensure that door remained closed. Most of the candidates looked about, uneasy at the… interesting buildings around them, which were ignoring the laws of physics as they understood them. A few looked back at the portal, no doubt wondering if it would close, possibly trapping them there. That was one concern Twilight could address immediately. “The portal will remain open,” she said. “You are free to return at any time—though doing so prematurely will end your candidacy as an observer.” That seemed fair. After all, if they can’t handle something as simple as this, could they really handle time travel? “Get your ‘Welcome to Equestria’ pastries, muffins, cake slices, and party favors here!” Twilight rolled her eyes. There was Pinkie, behind the table she had set up earlier. Of course she would magically appear when the portal opened. How could it ever have been in doubt? Pinkie had gotten their attention, no question of that, but only a few were heading her way. Dash was keeping an especially close eye on them. The rest didn’t seem sure what to make of it. Twilight thought it was an excellent way to break the ice. “Why don’t you all help yourselves,” she told them, “and while you’re enjoying the best Sugarcube Corner has to offer, I’ll explain how we’ll be proceeding.” That got them moving. Twilight patiently waited as they kind of formed a line, perused the treats, and picked something out—well, most of them picked something out. Pinkie was smiling that big smile of hers the whole time, somehow managing not to bounce. Not clear how this crowd would’ve responded to that level of enthusiasm. A few minutes later they were gathered around Twilight, none in possession of a party favor. “Here’s how we’ll proceed. If you’ll look up there—” she pointed “—you’ll see the E.R.S. Zephyr.” She gave them a second. “One by one, I’ll teleport each of you up to the ship’s observation lounge, where the interview shall be conducted. Applejack will also be present. You should know, if you don’t already, that she represents the Element of Honesty.” “Which means you ain’t getting one past me.” Twilight nodded. “Precisely. Once the interview is over, I’ll teleport you back here and you may leave through the portal. You are also free to explore this theme park, though be aware it’s still a work in progress. Also keep in mind that this portal will not be open forever, so don’t explore for too long. You probably don’t want Discord seeking you out and forcibly returning you to this plaza when it’s time for the portal to close.” That elicited some nervous mumbling. Perfect. “If you object to any of this, you’re free to leave through the portal now.” They all looked at each other, no doubt wondering who would bail. Only two of them did. “Great,” Twilight said with a smile. “Any volunteering to be first?” It was the first time Meg had been upstairs at the Carousel Boutique. She wasn’t sure what to have expected. In no way was it a dump, yet it lacked the high fashion sensibility of the shop on the ground floor. Equal parts form and function, one might say. Certainly nicer than her old apartment. Rarity poured freshly brewed tea into each of their teacups. “I must confess I had an ulterior motive for inviting you over.” Meg had thought it a bit odd, but then Rarity had been a guest in her old apartment so she figured the unicorn was simply returning the favor. “Anything to do with why you’re not with Twilight and the others?” Sure, Fluttershy wasn’t there either, but that was to be expected. “Not at all, darling. I am here and not there simply because, for me, there’s no reason to be there. Rainbow Dash and Applejack will have matters in hoof just fine without me.” Meg took a sip. The tea was excellent, naturally. “Okay, then. So what can I do for you?” “It concerns your ‘brony’ convention. I understand that it’s back on, thanks to Discord’s new theme park?” “No guarantees, but it’s looking promising.” “Will there still be an auction to raise money for charity?” That caught Meg’s attention. “I don’t see why not. Is there something you wish to contribute?” “Actually, yes: my services. Winner receives a bespoke dress, a Rarity original.” “A dress for a human?” “Naturally.” Well, why not? “I’d sure like to see the bidding war on that.” A sly smile. “Precisely what I had in mind.” Meg raised an eyebrow. “Planning on opening boutiques in my world?” “Whatever would give you that idea!” Upon arriving in the Zephyr’s observation lounge, the human jerked, almost falling over. It was a not uncommon reaction amongst those who ignored Twilight’s advice to keep their eyes closed. Applejack sadly shook her head at the sight. Fortunately they tended to recover quickly. “Egor Yusupov,” Twilight said, “are you okay?” It was out of politeness, mostly, for other than the apparent disbelief of suddenly being someplace else he was evidently just fine. He ignored the question, wandered over to the panoramic window, and looked down. “Невероятный.” “Excuse me?” He turned around, mouth still open, then shook his head. “Sorry,” he said in a thick accent. “Incredible, that what I said.” Not that he hadn’t seen a half-dozen others be teleported to the ship and back, but obviously that was no substitute for experiencing it himself. “You don’t need me to know that was the honest truth.” “No, I suppose not.” Twilight smiled at the human. “Shall we begin? Why don’t you take a seat.” There was one human chair present, and without comment he sat in it. Two cushions suitable for ponies faced it, placed on elevated platforms so that they may talk eye-to-eye. Twilight looked down at her notes. “You are the representative of the Russian Federation. My first question is, quite simply, What is your goal—or your government’s goal—in observing, in the past, the creation of the anomaly?”