//------------------------------//
// This Is My House, I Have to Defend It! 
// Story: Home Alone in Gotham 
// by Dinomite123 
//------------------------------//

Flash began to run all the way back home. As he got in the house, he closed the door behind himself and locked it.

"This is my house. I have to defend it!" He told himself.

He lays out his battle plan. He starts laying out his Micro Machines at the foot of the staircase; pouring cold water on the front steps; taking an electric charcoal lighter from the barbeque and attaching it to the front doorknob; spraying cold water from the hose on the outdoor steps to the basement; painting the inside basement steps with tar; fitting a nail through some tough paper; climbing into the treehouse to attach a zipline from the attic window; pouring glue on plastic wrap; moving a motorized fan with a load of feathers before it to the dining room door; spreading Christmas decorations on the floor by the window near the tree; filling two paint tins with string and carrying them off.

The Christmas tree lights come on, and the microwave pings with Flash's dinner.

Outside, Joker and Harley Quinn van pulled up.

"Okay, we'll check it out first. We can always come back for the truck." Joker said.

"How do we go in?" Harley asked.

"We'll go to the back door. Maybe he'll let us in. You never know."

"Yeah, he's a kid. Kids are stupid."

Inside the house, Flash did a prayer for his dinner.

"Bless this nutritious microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."

Before he digged in, the clock chimes 9:00pm and Flash blows out the candles and gets Snip's BB gun. He but on a football breast and helmet. 

He then rushed to the back door with the doggy door and cocks the BB gun.

"This is it. Don't get scared now."

Outside, Joker knocks on the door.

"Merry Christmas, little fella." He smiled. "We know that you're in there, and that you're all alone." 

"Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It's Santy Claus and his elf." Harley joined in.

Flash sticks the barrel of the rifle through the dog door.

"We're not going to hurt you."

"No, no. Got some nice presents for you."

"Be a good little fella now and open the door."

Flash pulls the trigger, shooting Joker in the groin; he screams in pain and falls to his knees as he mumbles under his breath.

"What? What? What? What? What happened?" Harley asked as she walked to him.

"Get that little..."

Harley goes to the back door. Flash was on the floor; aims the gun at Harley as she sticks his head through the dog flap.

"Hello."

Harley gets shot in the head; screams in pain as she stick her head out of the dog flap.

"The little jerk is armed!" She exclaimed.

"That's it! That's it! I'm going in the front. You go down the basement!" Joker ordered.

They both separate to each side.

Joker tries to go up the stairs towards the front door but keeps slipping due to the fact that Flash also wet them, and the water froze; he makes it to the front door and grabs the knob which is red hot from the electric charcoal lighter Flash placed there earlier, screams in agony and plunges his hand into the snow, to his relief. We see a monogrammed "M" in his hand.

Harley gets to the basement steps. Harley slips down the stairs due to the fact that Flash had used the hose to wet them and the water turned to ice; She uses his crowbar to open the door and walks into the house through the basement. He pulls a light switch which causes the iron on the laundry chute to fall on his head leaving an imprint on his face. She then walks the basement steps which had been previously tarred by Flash which his socks and shoes get stuck to and steps on a nail in a piece of tar paper. He tries to go back outside and slips.

Meanwhile, Joker was grunting with anger.

"That smart aleck. Oh, boy. That's it, you little...You little... No, not this time, you little brat. You little creep, where are you?"

He went back to the backdoor, and touched the doorknob to make sure it wasn't not like the other door.

"You're dead, kid."

When he opened the door...he gets his head blowtorched; screams in agony and then puts his head in the snow.

Now he was really angry. He got up and charged at the door and angrily break open the back door with one kick.

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE CREEP?!" He shouted.

"Oh, no! I'm really scared." Flash acted.

"It's too late for you, kid. We're already in the house, we're going to get you!"

Flash readies the fan, plastic wrap and pillow feathers. 

"Okay, come and get me!"

Joker comes in through the door to the dining room; walks into the plastic wrap with clear caulk on it.

"Now you're dead!"

He trips the wire triggering the fan to blow the feathers onto him.

Meanwhile, Harley climbs in through the living room window and steps down barefoot onto the ornaments; screams in pain.

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT KID!"

She continues to walk with her feet in pain. Then both Joker and Harley Quinn approach each other.

"Harley!"

"Mr. J?"

"Why on earth would you take your shoes off?"

"Why on earth would you dress like a chicken?"

"I'm up here, you morons! Come and get me!" Flash called.

The ran towards and then they slip on the toy cars Flash put there.

"You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?"

They get up and rushed up the stairs, while Flash picks up a paint can tied to the edge and tosses it.

"Heads up!"

Joker gets whacked by a paint can and falls to the floor.

"Don't worry, Puddin. I'll get him for you." Harley said.

"Harley!"

She then sees a pain can swung toward her and gets whacked by it and lands on Joker.

"He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him." Harley flirted.

"Oh, shut up. Will you?" Joker grunted.

"Mr. J, your teeth is missing."

Joker feels inside his mouth.

"My tooth, it's my tooth!  I'll kill 'him. I'll kill 'him! You bomb me with one more can, kid...and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!" 

They run up the stairs; Flash takes the opportunity to run into Celestia and Sombra's bedroom to call the cops.

"911 emergency."

"Help, my house is being robbed. My address is 671 Chadborn Avenue. My name is Rumble." He disgusted his voice.

He then rushes to the door of the third floor when Joker and Harley Quinn caught up to him.

"There he is!"

Joker trips over the wire. Harley jumps over the wire and grabs Flash by the ankle as he tries to run into the attic.

"I gotcha! I got him, Puddin. I got him. Where do you think your going, huh?"

Flash see's Snips tarantula and grabs him and puts it on Harley's face. Harley screams and Flash escapes. Harley gets up and tries to kill the tarantula which has now landed on Joker's chest with his crowbar.

"What are you doing, Harley?"

"Puddin, don't move!"

"Harley?"

"Puddin...don't...move."

"Harley, what are you doing? Harley." 

Harley hits him in the rib area with the crowbar and Joker winces in pain.

"Did I get him? Did I get him?! Where is it? Where is it?"

Joker grabs the crowbar out of her hands and hits her in the arm with it.

"How do you like it? Huh?! You jerk! Get that kid! Go on. Get that kid!"

They run up into the attic after Flash.

Flash on the other hand was on the window with a zipline to the treehouse. He jumped and began to zip all the way and at last landed right inside the treehouse.

Joker and Harley made up the room.

"Where'd he go?" Joker said.

"Maybe he committed suicide." Harlet suggested.

"Down here, you big horse's butt!" Flash called. "Come get me before I call the police!"

"Let's get him!"

"Wait, wait. That's just what he wants us to do--Us to go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up."

"He's gonna call the cops! Or even Batman!"

"He's not calling' the--From a tree house?! Come on."

Joker climbed onto the opened window.

"What are you doing?  I'm not going' out the window." Harley whimpered.

"Why, you scared, Marv? Are you afraid?" Joker mocked.

"No."

"Then come on."

They both climb through the rope to treehouse.

"Let's go back, Puddin."

"Shut it."

Flash is holding a pair of shears to the rope.

"Hey, guys! Check this out."

"Go back! Go back."

Flash cuts the rope sending them crashing into the side of the house. They lay there feeling defeated.

"There he goes!"

The get up and run after him.

"Hey, I'm calling the cops." He runs into Rumble's basement.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. He wants us to follow him. I got a better idea." Joker and Harley head him off.

Little did they know that the Batmobile was near by.

As Flash wades through the flooded basement, he runs up the stairs only to be caught by Joker and Harley Quinn.

"Hi, pal. We outsmarted you this time. Get over here!" Joker grabs Flash and hangs Kevin from the coat hook on the back of the door.

"What are we gonna do to him, Puddin?" Harley smirked.

"We'll do exactly what he did to us. I'm gonna burn his head with a blowtorch." Joker laughed.

"Then we can smash his face with an iron!"

"I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can maybe."

"Or shove a nail through his foot!"

Little did they know is that Batman was sneaking up behind them.

"First I'm gonna bite off every one of these little fingers, one at a time." Harley laughed.

Then Batman knocks out Joker in the head with his fist.

"Puddin!"

Then he headbutts Harley.

Now he lifts Flash off the hook.

"Come on. Let's get you home." He said.

"But, what about Joker and the crazy lady?" Flash asked.

"I'll deal with them later." 

A few minutes later, the police arrive. While Flash is watching from living room window.

"Nice move. Always leaving the water running." Commissioner Gordon smirked. "Now we know each and every house that you've hit.

"And don't forget, we always have a way out of Arkham!" Harley bragged.

"Shut up, Harley." Joker told her.

As they were being put in the car, Joker was looking back at Flash who was waving at the window. Then they drove off.

Flash puts a plate of cookies and carrots on the table along with a glass of milk. He straightens a present under the tree. He hoped that tomorrow he would get his family back.