//------------------------------// // Episode 3: Rub a Dub Dub // Story: Born to Chaos and Nightmares // by Thorax //------------------------------// Within the Everfree forest a Unicorn colt, a young Griffin, and a Draconequus filly had spent their day deep within its depths exploring the ruins of the old Royal Castle. Throughout their exploration they had stumbled across many lost treasures, such as a golden helmet that now rested a top Quartz's head, though much too large to properly fit, it seemed to belong there. Through Lucid's knowledge of Equestrian history she was able to make the symbol on its front out as that of the original Dawn Guard. The Dawn Guard was one of the fiercest group of ponies to ever walk Equestria, trained by Celestia herself. "So Lucid, what makes these Dawn Guard ponies so special?" Asked the Fin as he tapped his talons on the helmet. Lucid continued to look at the stained glass paintings as she recalled what she had read in Royal Archives, being the daughter of two gods had its perks, one of which was knowledge, no piece of history was off limits to her. "Well, the Dawn Guard was the first order of guards to be created, they were picked from the strongest ponies around, and trained by my Aunt herself. Some of the older legends say that alone they could stand their ground against any creature in Equestria." Fin and Quartz made their way over to the Lucid and the window she was currently examining. Two unicorns occupied two separate a gold aura surrounding them, on the other side stood a large black sludge like creature, though it lacked any real limbs, it had what appeared to be several empty mask like faces covering its chest and back. "What's that thing?" asked Quartz as he pointed towards the creature. "Ruin" answered a voice from behind The three children spun around to see the source of the voice was none other than Pleasant Dreams. "What's Ruined?" the confused griffin asked "No, the creature is called Ruin, it was foul beast that corrupted and destroyed all it came into contact with. However, that is all I will say, something’s are best lost to history, know that this creature was destroyed and is no longer a threat." "Hey mom! Why do you have your old armor on?" This was the first time that the either Quartz or Fin noticed the armor worn by the Dream Princess was no longer her traditional white amour, instead it had been replaced with a light purple armor, which gave her a much more sinister and foreboding appearance. "It is time Lucid, return your friends to their homes and meet me back in the library, we must prepare for the upcoming war." With a flare of her horn and a flash of purple the Alicorn was gone, leaving the three children alone in the abandoned castle. "War?!" blurted the confused colt "Who are we at war with?" Lucid gave a quick giggle "No silly, we're not really at war, it's a code word for bath night." "Bath night? Aren't you a little old to have someone else give you a bath?" Fin asked with a raised eyebrow. Once again Lucid gave a laugh "It's not my bath night, it's my fathers. It only happens once a year, trust me, if we don't make him take a bath, he never will. So, I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow?" "Sure" both Quartz and Fin answered in unison. With a snap of her talons the three friends were sent off to their homes, two of them for rest and one for a battle she had waited a year for. With a flash Lucid found herself a top the balcony of the main court room, her Aunt Luna stood at the front, preparing for her speech. Down below in the main area, stood every member of royal guard, both Day and Night and surprisingly a few Changelings. Luna gave a quick cough to clear her throat "I thank you all for gathering here, I understand that many of you are off duty or retired and I apologize. But as you know, today is a terrible day, a day that comes once a year. Today is bath day." The sound of chuckling could be heard from scattered members of the guard, surely it came from the newer members, those poor fools would have no way of knowing how serious this day was. "I understand that the newer recruits may not understand or fully comprehend this, know that this is a day your fathers have taken part in and their fathers before them. Though it may not seem like much, Discord will do everything short of harming with his power to keep himself from being cleaned, I do not want any of you to directly confront him; you must lead, or guide him to our designated areas." Celestia made her way over to her sister. "I wish you all luck my little ponies, Discord has most likely already gone into hiding, as per standard procedure all access to Castle and its grounds have been sealed off, we have been sealed into to a closed space of its own, cut off from the rest of the world, and Discord cannot escape, find him and lead him to the designated areas." With a salute and a command the guards marched their way out of the room, beginning their search throughout the castle. The three Alicorns and one Draconequus jumped from the balcony, gracefully landing on the now empty floor below. "So where do we start looking?" asked the curious filly "You're aunts and I will be looking for your father, you however will remain here." answered Pleasant "But mom, why can't I help?" whined the filly "you said this year I was old enough to help." "Because my child, you're plan B" Her mother answered with a wicked grin Before Lucid could ask her mother to explain, the large wooden chamber doors flew open as Discord darted in, quickly slamming them behind him. The four of them silently watched as Discord continually opened the wooden door and peaked out, completely oblivious to their presence. "Ahem" Luna said with a smirk Slowly Discords head began to turn and as his face came into view, they were able to see his features, twisted into an expression of absolute horror as he saw the last three mares he wanted to see on this day. "Nope" he screeched as he broke into a gallop smashing through the wall With a twisted grin Luna turned to face her Sister and her other half "LET THE HUNT BEGIN" She boomed having finally had the occasion to use the Royal Canterlot Voice. Both Pleasant and Luna both vanished in a flash of light as Celestia began her chase. Discord was quite the easy beast to track, he did little to keep himself hidden and his unique size and shape made every hole in the wall more visible. Though his panicked shrieking might have helped her in keeping up, poor fools also seemed to forget, he was the god of chaos. "Discord, why do we have to do this every year?" Celestia shouted as she passed through a hole into the kitchen and out through one of the staff members bedrooms. "Why do you feel the need to make me clean myself?!" Came the returned strained cries of the Draconequus as he slammed through another walls, this time allowing light to flood in through the hole. Without hesitating Celestia continued her full speed gallop through the blinding light, sadly for both Discord and Celestia, during their little game of cat and mouse, they both failed to remember they were on the third floor. Celestia's shrieks were said to have reached as far as The City of Ponyville. The thud when she hit the ground echoed even further. Several minutes later Life slowly returned to the Sun Goddess as her body finished healing, slowly she rose to her hooves as she served her surroundings, her and Discord had most came crashing down into the Canterlot Statue Garden. Speaking of Discord, the Draconequus was nowhere in sight, however from the outline beneath her, she could only assume she had landed on him, meaning he wasn't too far away. "Discord!" Shouted the now agitated mare "Come out and maybe I won't drown you in a lake" Slowly she made her way through rows of statues, many of which had been created to honor the heroes of Equestria. Finally she came to the platform that had once held Discord, however instead of being empty, it once again held the figure of a Draconequus trapped in stone. "Really Discord? You bloody fool, how could you possibly think I'd fall for a disguise as foalish as this?" with that, Celestia prepared herself to attack the idiot before he could flee again. "Oh my dear Celestia, did you really expect me to make the same mistake twice?" retorted the Spirit of Chaos as he appeared with a flash. "I just needed a place to hold you till you come to your senses." he finished with a snap of his talons. "What do you mean Discor-" Celestia paused as she realized she could no longer move her legs. "What have you done Discord?" She tilted her downwards and was stunned to see her body slowly being coated in stone. "Discord I swear on my name, when I get out of here, I will do unspeakable things to yo-" The Sun Goddess was silenced as the stone finally coated her head. Leaving only Discord and an extremely grumpy looking statue. Discord continued to look around the garden making sure no one was around. Once he was adequately sure no one was watching, he slowly placed Celestia on the pedestal that had once held him. Afterwards he causally walked away, whistling nonchalantly as he entered back into the castle on his way to his next hiding place and next victim. Half an Hour Later Pleasant had finally managed to break the seals her husband had placed on their bedrooms and with a mighty blast she had removed the doors and roughly eighty percent of the wall. "Honey, I'm home." Slowly the Princess of Dreams made her way into the bedroom, making sure to check for any traps that Discord might have lain. Several minutes of searching later and there were no signs of the Draconequus anywhere. As she made her finally sweep of the room, she noticed something she had missed beforehand, claw marks, leading under the bed. Now that she thought about it, her husband had strange belief that there was a little world beneath his bed. She had always chalked it up to marrying the spirit of chaos, and him being a complete lunatic. Slowly she lowered herself, giving herself what should have been a clear view beneath the bed. However instead of having a view beneath the bed, she was met with total darkness, in fact she would even call it advanced darkness, and something she saved for those who reached rock bottom. "Discord?!" She shouted into the bleakness black void that had apparently lived beneath her bed. "Go away!" came the returned shout "You're really going to make me crawl under the bed, aren't you?" After several seconds of waiting Pleasant received no answer and slowly began her crawl into the abyss. A few small steps in and she immediately footing on the wooden floor below and began plummeting into the darkness, eventually the darkness was replaced with the light of the sun. As she continued her rapid decent she could make out a large island below. However, during her decent towards the island she forgot one important fact, she had wings. *Thud* "Ah, my everything" groaned the Alicorn as she picked herself up off the ground "Discord! Get out here now, every year dammit, every year you do this!" Pleasant shouted to nothing in particular. "And every year you all make fools over yourself, priceless" echoed the voice of Discord "By the way, Welcome to the Shivering Isles, my home away from home! Good luck trying to find me!" The Princess of Dreams facehoofed Honestly, I love you, but you're a complete idiot with a flare of her horn and a flash of purple light she was instantly transported to her Husband’s location. The Alicorn now stood in the center of a large castle, glancing around she was met with a slightly awkward sight, dozens of creatures lying dead on the floor, she hadn't take into account mortals when she had used the spell Note to self, Bring these things back to life, after I've murdered my husband In the center of the room sat a rather large fort, made entirely out of pillows. "Discord, last chance, get out of there. Come take your bath like someone with a shred of dignity, or I'll go in there and I will bathe you in the flames of Tartarus." "Haha" came the muffled laughs from within the fort "You can't enter here, the sign says no girls allowed." Discord finished with another victorious laugh "I married a moron." groaned the mare "That's it Discord, I'm coming in." Discord peered out the small window "I wouldn't if I were you, but what do I know, I'm insane." However, Pleasant chose to disregard her husband’s warning and prepared her charge, horn ready to impale whatever she could, at this point it didn't matter if she came back with his corpse, she'd get this idiot clean if it killed both of them. The warning Discord had given suddenly gained some value when she slammed into an invisible wall and blasted across the room. Pleasant groaned as her vision returned to her, revealing Discord now standing above her. "Wow, you've become a real cow." Discord said bluntly The look of anger on his wife reminded him why she had been called Nightmare Moon. "Did you. Call me. Fat?!" Hissed the mare. "Not at all, I'm just saying, you are quite literally a cow." the Draconequus finished holding up a mirror Pleasant was horrified, instead of her usually beautiful self staring back at her, she was met with the image of a cow, black with purple splotches across her body. "Haha" Discord chuckled to himself "Nightmare Moo" If looks could kill, the glare his wife gave him would have wiped out all life in existence Though Discord could be considered stupid, he wasn't that stupid, he knew if Pleasant got to him, he'd wish he could die. "I love you honey, I'll be back later to fix this I promise. I'll make sure Lucid eats all her veggies." with a panicked snap of his fingers the soon to be Dead Draconequus saved himself, for now at least. One Hour, Back in Canterlot Castle Discord had run out of hiding places, he had expected Luna to have planned everything out so well, she had sacrificed the others to buy her time, Honestly at this point Discord was no longer sure who's idea it really was to bring about eternal night. Upon arrival at each of his preplanned hiding points and safe zones he was met with either complete destruction of it, or a squad of guards waiting to bring him in. To make matter worse, Luna had finally found him and had not given him any rest so far, at this point he had been simply degraded to the point where he was now hiding in closets. "Dad, you in there?" asked the filly Draconequus "Lucid is that you?" answered Discord as he slowly opened the door, and pulled his daughter into his micro sanctuary. "Why are you hiding in here Dad? Auntie Celestia said you'd been more elaborate than this." asked the confused filly "I'm sorry honey, but that's classified and as long as you're helping them, I can't share my secrets with you." Lucid gave a small giggle "Don't worry dad, I defected to your side, they wouldn't let me help find you, so I thought may you'd let me help hide you." "Well then" Discord said with a snap of his talons and in another flash the small closets was replaced by a large office room, a desk now sat between the larger Draconequus and his Daughter, who now sat in a cushioned chair, that was far too large for her. "What can you bring to this organization?" Discord asked crossing your arm "Freedom" Lucid answered flatly "I have the only escape route, mom made it for me in case of emergencies." Before Discord could continue the interview a large blast rocked the room, destroying one of the walls and knocking the paintings from their place on the wall. "Found you" Luna said with a devious grin "You're hired!" Discord shouted as He and Lucid darted past the Mare of the Moon. For the next few minutes the two Draconequus had done everything in their powers to shake the Princess of the Moon; however she seemed to know every turn they'd make, two turns ahead. After a few more minutes Discord lost sight of Lucid, assuming her a prisoner of war, he vowed to buy her ice cream later. "Dad!" Shouted the Filly as she stuck out from behind the large wooden door, blinding light flooding through the door way. "Quickly this way, once we're out we can loose her!" Putting all of his remaining strength to work Discord hurled himself at the wooden door, quickly he was engulfed in the warm sensation of hot water, quickly he rolled himself around till he could find the surface and gasped for air. After rubbing the water from his eyes he was greeted with a horrible sight. Luna and Lucid, one holding a scrub, the other holding a bar of soap. "Betrayed by my own flesh and blood" Discord cried in the most overly dramatic way possible "I'm both horribly saddened and quite proud." "Oh shut up and let's just finish this." Growled the drained Lunar Princess "It'll take weeks to fix the mess you made." Discord shrugged "Well I can't make this easy, I have to keep you all on your hooves, what if an emergency happened?" Luna turned her gaze to Lucid who was happily scrubbing her fathers head with the brush "Brushy, Brushy, Brushy," she happily hummed to herself "Lucid, sweetie, why don't you go get ready for bed. I'm going to have a conversation with you're father." "Okie dokie Auntie" the filly said happily as she headed off to her room. Once the coast was clear Luna returned her gaze back Discord. "So, now that we're alone and there's nobody to listen in on what I'm going to say. Did you get the job done?" The Lunar Princess asked as she raised a large bag of candies. Discord nodded as he tried to squirm out from beneath the brush that Luna now forcefully wielded against him. "Celestia and Nightmare will be away till tomorrow evening, you'll have enough time to find what you need, though I can hardly see why you'd go through all this for a couple of boring journals." Luna's expression changed from devious joy to slight anger as she put more pressure into her scrubbing. "One of them ate my piece of cake and when I find out who, they shall know the fury of the night." "Oh gag, I don't know how you can stand that foul cake, the cooks make." "Oh shut up and take your bath with some dignity." growled Luna One Hour Later Discord had finally managed to dry off and remove the water from his ears, though his day had been one long pain in the neck, he could at least find some joy in his rest. Just as he was about fade into sleep he reminded himself to retrieve his wife an Celestia at some point tomorrow. With that he drifted off into the realms of dreams where he was created by his very angry bovine of a wife. However, through both sheer luck and bribery he had managed to calm her and return things to semblance of normality, if that even had some meaning for the spirit of Chaos. *Thud* Discord shot up from his bed and quickly glanced through the room, fear began to fill his mind as he was able to make out the shape of a large Alicorn standing in the corner of the room. Slowly he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and when he opened them the Alicorn had moved to the foot of the bed. The fear he felt increased ten folds when he realized that the Alicorn in front of him was none other than Celestia still trapped in stone. *Blink* Discord let out a yelp as he opened his eyes, the Statue now sat on his bed, face mere inches from him twisted into a look of complete horror as her hooves reached out towards him. "Don't blink, don’t blink" the terrified Draconequus muttered to himself as he starred into the hate filled eyes of Celestia. However, he knew he couldn't last forever and he could feel his eyes begin to burn, "No regrets!" *Blink* *SNAP* "Ah come on" groaned Discord "That much blood will never come out of these sheets."