Cell stood out in the arena, his arms folded across his chest, waiting patiently for the Cell Games to begin. He remembered the day he announced it like it was yesterday – which it was. Wait, then how did that dragon kid show up that fast? Cell shook his head; those thoughts were trivial matters as he remembered the events that played out. He had remembered going to the biggest city Equestria had to offer: Manehatten. Like he did on Earth, he rose through the floors of a large building and made it to the news station.
Via using some of Kami’s magic, a little bit of psychokinesis, and dab of Ki, he managed to not only announce the games to any creature in front of a TV screen; but he was in the mind of every single mortal or immortal being on this moldy rock. A slight smirk managed to grace his face as he had remembered coming back to Trixie’s mouth agape. Ah, that was really funny. He didn’t know where he got his sense of humor, whether he got it from Son Goku, Frieza, or even Raditz of all people was up in the air. Nevertheless, the fact is that he found it funny. Very, very, very funny.
“Ahem, Mr. Perfect Cell?” He snapped back to reality and glanced over at Trixie who stood near her carriage, “You have another challenger.”
Cell turned to face her with a tilted head, “Really? Didn’t I specifically say ten days? I swore I did.” He turned back to where he once stood and found himself face to face with the driest pony in the world; Maud Pie. Cell jumped back and prepared a fighting stance, having not sensed her at all. “What the–”
“Hey,” Maud said, her eyelids half-open as her eyes lie upon the bio android. “I heard your announcement.”
Cell slowly went out of his stance, a bead of sweat rolling down his eyes; the pony had given him quite the scare. He had to be careful around this one, “Then you must have heard that the tournament is starting in ten days, not one, not two, ten.” Emphasized Cell.
Seeing the bug man having been surprised by this weird pony gave Trixie intrigue as her gaze switched between them. Maud blinked and glanced around, “This floor is made out of stone,” She noted, prodding at the arena floor. “How did you do it?”
Cell furrowed his brow, “Don’t change subjects, pony, if you want to fight me you’ll have to wait another few days.”
“I don’t want to fight you.” She answered, which brought both of the arena inhabitants to raise their brows.
“...Then why else are you here rather than duke it out with perfection? To try and carve your name in history by defeating the fearsome Perfect Cell?” Cell gestured to himself.
“I came to warn you,” Maud said flatly, “And also to tell you poetry about rocks,” She raised Boulder from her… Wait, how did she get that rock?
A pregnant pause filled the arena, and an audible slap could be heard as Trixie face-hoofed. Cell couldn’t help but stare at the Earth-Pony for a moment before a chuckle escaped his lips, and then, a laugh. His laughter filled the arena as he stopped tensing up completely.
“Poetry?” Cell shook his head, “By all means, I implore you to tell me your poems. After all, it’s not as if there’s anything else to do in this godforsaken land other than to count to a hundred and back down in my head!”
Taking incentive, Maud walked over to him and cleared her throat.
“Rock. You are a rock…”
Cell wanted to kill himself.
Yup, it was that boring.
He genuinely wanted to kill himself. Trixie had headed back into her carriage a long time ago, tired of hearing all of Maud’s poems about rocks, sediment, or any other mineral there was. Some of her poetry were clever, but a majority of them were boring. He wouldn’t even read these poems if it could save his life, Hell, just because of those poems, he might just blow up the planet right now.
“So, what did you think?” Maud droned, the perfect being in response just glared daggers at the pony.
“Get the fuck off my arena,” He glowered as he flexed his ki, causing the earth beneath the two to shake. In response, Maud wordlessly turned around and started to walk, seemingly obliging, but before she could walk off, she paused.
“I almost forgot to warn you, Cell,” She turned to face Cell, who still held a frown on his face.
“Warn me about what exactly?” Scoffed Cell, “You telling me another lackluster poem?”
“No,” Maud shook her head, “You’re going to die.” Her face and voice did a complete 180, her voice sounding like it had emotion and her eyebrows furrowing. The sight of her using another expression made Cell drop his frown and brought him to wear a face of sheer surprise.
“Oh, so you can change faces, good to know!” Cell said, completely unfazed by what she had told him, “Your death threats are as shallow as a spoon and your poems as sharp as a rubber ball. What you’re saying is effectively impossible, pony, I alone have the power to level this solar system with one blast from my palms! So, do me a favor, Maud, when you go back to your town, city, your damn stable…” Cell’s frown returned, “Tell them you’re lucky you made it back alive.”
The two of them locked eyes like bulls, none of them breaking it for a hot minute. The minute seemed to stretch into an hour – or at least to Cell, even looking at her made him want to yawn. Eventually, Maud nodded her head and twirled around to trot off and away from the arena. As she was leaving, Cell kept his glare on Maud until her form disappeared over a hill.
He sighed.
“...Rocks. Damn it, why am I saying it now?!”