//------------------------------//
// Father Knows Best(Not Canon) 
// Story: He's a Vampire 
// by Gormless Wheaton 
//------------------------------//








"And what are your intentions with our daughter?" A voice suddenly filled the room. The sudden auditory intrusion caused Candy to halt his fangs just as they touched Pinkie's skin. Withdrawing, he turned and saw a pair of older ponies in the room, casting a pair of even but heavily judgemental glares his way.

The pair were dressed like quadrupedal amish hicks, all greys and blacks, with the mare's mane done up in a tight bun, and the stallion in a wide-brimmed hat with a pair of sideburns heavier than Candy was aware ponies could grow.

"Well?" The stallion asked again.

"Huh?" Candy huffed. The stallion snorted while the mare rolled her eyes.

"As I thought. Just like the youth of today, no clear direction or goals in life," he shook his head before stamping his hoof. "Pinkie, I'm sorry, but I do not approve."

"But Daaaad!" Pinkie begged, having slipped from Candy's grip and thrown herself at the stallion's hooves. "He's a cool, broody vampire!"

"Broody?" Candy muttered, looking at his suddenly empty hands. "The fuck?" The pair gasped, and the stallion reared up.

"And such language in front of your mother!" He slammed his hooves down. "Absolutely not! No daughter of mine is going to whore about with such a delinquent!"

"No, Daddy! He didn't mean it!" Pinkie cried as her mother pulled her to her hooves and dragged her to her room. Candy's jaw hung loose as he struggled to process everything he'd just seen.

"Limestone!" The stallion called. A third, angry-looking pony with a heavy saddlebag entered the building.

"Yeah, Dad?" She asked. Pinkie's father slammed his hoof once more.

"The Attitude Adjuster™," he ordered, holding out a hoof. The new mare nodded firmly in response and pulled an ashwood board with a nail in it from her bag, which she handed to her father.

"Oh shit," Candy whimpered.