//------------------------------// // My O' Mikey // Story: Missing the Past // by Sea Jewel //------------------------------// ~Three~ Rainbow Dash tapped her foot against the cracked pavement, leaning against a lone streetlamp waiting to meet Sunset by Sugarcube Corner. She wore a worn-down hoodie that covered the top of her head, and she had her arms crossed tightly across her chest, her head lowered as if to shield herself from anyone who was to recognise her.  “Dash!” She heard a distant voice call her and she lifted her head up to see Sunset jogging towards her, a worried expression on her face. Rainbow straightened up as Sunset reached her and they exchanged a quick hug. “Sorry I took so long.”  Rainbow shrugged. “Nah, no problem.” She replied quickly. The two fell into an awkward silence both looking at each other in worry. “You don’t look so hot.” They both said at the same time before chuckling.  “Let’s walk.” Sunset suggested, and the two made their way from Sugarcube corner down the empty street, their dark clothes in contrast with the bright, cold, morning sun. Sunset looked over at Dash who kicked lone pebbles as they walked beside a small park. She looked tired and worn-out, as if she didn’t sleep at all last night. Sunset frowned as she thought back to her friend’s text yesterday afternoon. It seemed very short and didn’t explain anything.  “How are you, Rainbow?”  Rainbow sighed, glancing over at her before looking back to the path ahead. “Not good, Sunset. Uh- thanks for agreeing to meet up by the way.” “It’s no problem, what are friends for?” She smiled, and Rainbow fell back into deep thought  “So I uh,” Rainbow started, rubbing the back of her neck. “I was wondering if there’s any easy money…up for grabs?” Sunset blinked in surprise at that. It was no secret her affiliation with Mikey and his gang, but her friends rarely ever brought it up, and at some point Sunset assumed they had forgotten about it. Hearing Rainbow say it so casually had thrown her off guard. “I know Mikey makes you run…errands, and if there’s anything on offer right now, I need you to hook me up.” “Dash,” Sunset sighed.  “I can handle myself.” Rainbow said, and Sunset glanced towards her. “I know that…fuck.” She sighed. She rubbed her temples as thoughts went through her head. This could be perfect- Rainbow was quick and fast and perfect for helping her find that truck of drugs. She was desperate, and Twilight’s dead form was clouding her mind, but just the thought of using her friend’s vulnerability for her own needs felt so wrong she was getting dizzy. She took a deep breath and looked over at her friend who bit her lip in anticipation- she needed to get her head straight. “Dash, tell me what’s going on.”  Rainbow’s eyes darted at that and she felt Sunset place a hand on her shoulder and guide her to a bench to sit against. Rainbow Dash was many things, but she wasn’t a coward. So really, it shouldn’t be hard to spit out her father’s unfatherlike behaviour, her fears about not being able to stay at CCAS, and make Sunset understand why she needed that money.  Except her friends had a completely different image of Rainbow Blaze. One of a loving father who urged her friends to have slumber parties at his house and order pizza for them, or someone who laughed at his own very mediocre jokes, or someone who did everything for his daughter over the summer so she wouldn’t feel her mother’s absence. For Rainbow Dash, it felt wrong to ruin that image, no matter how untrue it really was. And one other thing was stopping her from telling Sunset the truth- pity. She didn’t want it, especially from someone who she held in such high levels of badassery. Rainbow Dash getting beat up by her dad? Crying about it and refusing to do anything to stop it? Seemed very pitiful to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow felt her throat close up as she thought back to one of the biggest reasons she distanced herself from her friends then. It was the fear of being found out. She was afraid that one day the bruise on her leg or shoulder would be seen, or she would wince too hard during play-fighting with Applejack, or flinch in fear if someone moved too fast on a day she was feeling particularly out of it. She was scared for them to realise how weak she really was, and so she distanced herself. That way, rumours appeared, but they never stayed too long- there was no evidence for anything. And at the end of it, the girls themselves slowly grew apart. Rainbow Dash wasn’t a coward. She was asking Sunset a big thing, and she knew that Sunset deserved the truth at least. So Rainbow Dash rested her elbows against her knees and placed her head in her hands. “Sunset, you know my dad right?”  Sunset nodded, thinking back to the ‘pepperoni nights’, Blaze used to call it, where he only ordered pepperoni pizza because by some miracle, it was all the girls’ favourite pizza- except for Fluttershy who was vegetarian. Even then, Blaze always ordered either a cheese or vegetarian for her. She was always envious of Rainbow’s relationship with her parents, and it made her miss her own who she left back in Equestria. She ignored those thoughts in her head, focusing on Rainbow who seemed very out of character to Sunset. As the orange girl stared at the athlete, she frowned at her demeanour. She looked small, and her hands shook slightly as she fought to talk about what she wanted to talk about.  “Hey,” She whispered, placing a hand on top of Dash’s trembling ones. Dash looked at Sunset. “I know we’ve become distant- all of us. We haven’t talked in a while and in some ways, it might look like you’re talking to a stranger,” Sunset’s eyes were warm, and it held a genuinity Dash missed seeing. Only her closest friends held that kindness in their eyes. “I want you to know I still care for you. The way you girls gave me that second chance at the fall formal, it’s something I will never be able to pay back- but I want to try. Just tell me what’s going on and I’ll try my hardest to fix it.” She squeezed Dash’s hand. “I Pinkie-Swear it.” And so Rainbow Dash told her. About how her father became gradually withdrawn throughout the summer, coming home later and later, drunker and drunker. Then mornings he was drunk, and afternoons. Until she couldn’t remember him sober. How sometimes he was angry at her and how other times he couldn’t recognise his own daughter. She left out details- details like the bruises and the screaming matches and the days she cried herself to sleep. But she told her about yesterday. How he had taken all of her savings- gradually, bit by bit so she wouldn’t notice and how she found out yesterday morning that whatever was left was gone. She told her that she couldn’t pay for her tuition anymore and she would have to defer, reducing any of her chances in getting accepted into a national team. She told her about her job at the sports store and the pay not being nearly enough, and how she couldn’t afford to move out because her family home was fully-paid off, and anywhere else she would have to pay rent- another expense on her list. Sunset listened quietly, anger gradually building in her at Blaze. Someone they had all loved dearly has succumbed to depression, but it was never an excuse. Rainbow was still young when she lost her mother, and she needed him there for her, instead he turned into a liability. Sunset felt a new found respect then for her old friend, how she continued on with school and her sports team despite her home situation- sure she had become closed off, but that was expected. Rainbow Dash was still slouched over her knees, keeping an eye out on how Sunset would react to it. Their eyes met and shockingly, Dash’s didn’t look as sad as she sounded when she recapped her situation.  “I sound pretty pathetic,” She chuckled humorlessly. “The part where you threatened him with ponies was pretty badass though.” Sunset joked, and the two laughed quietly. “Shit Dash, I had no idea what you were going through. You should have come to one of us.”. Rainbow gestured between themselves, as though to say she just did. “I’m going through a bit of a hiccup too. I might need you as much as you need me.” Rainbow’s eyes widened, “With?” she urged. Sunset ran a hand through her hair. “I fucked up with a truckload of drugs and I have to find it now or else.” Sunset inhaled. “He threatened Twilight.” “Shit.” Rainbow exhaled, thinking back to how Sunset described their breakup. After a messy exchange of shouting about her not so traditional line of work, they had decided to go their separate ways. Rainbow knew that Sunset still cared for Twilight, if not romantically, definitely as a friend. “I can’t do it alone, Dash. This might be the perfect opportunity for both of us- If I can convince Mikey to pay you to help me, all three of us will gain something from this. I just…It feels wrong to pull you into this mess.” “I know you’ve been in this business for a while, Sunset, but I'm not a kid. I can pull my own weight. And don’t forget I'm the one asking for your help. If you wouldn’t have helped me I would have gone straight to Mikey anyway.” Sunset gave a small smile, happy to help Rainbow and for Rainbow to help herself, but still a sense of guilt lingered and she worried about her friend’s safety as she was pulled into this line of work. --- Fluttershy returned home this afternoon tired. Today she had met up with Rarity to discuss her portfolio overview and they ended up going out for lunch afterwards. It had felt amazing to be able to connect with her friend after so long, and refreshing when- unlike their first meeting- conversation flowed and the awkwardness in the air had vanished. She didn’t realise however how much energy she had spent today and at that thought, felt exhilarated. It was very rare for the yellow girl to ever feel a sense of relaxation or tiredness- there was always a lingering sense of foreboding in her mind about what the future could bring. She decided to make the most of this new feeling and head to bed early, this time without any of the pills. As she tucked herself under her covers and closed her eyes she realised this would be one of her first nights she’s sleeping without her pills. It excited her and scared her at the same time. She felt sleep drift her in and out of consciousness before her mind raced to today’s events. A feeling- different to one of dread but still not welcome- waved over her and it left her with a buzzing feeling that drove any mention of sleep away from her. She turned over to her side and took a deep breath, but that same shortness of breath remained. It felt like she was filled to the brim with energy and she had to let it out. All at once, that same craving for the bottle in her bedside drawer seized her and she reached over for it. Her hand made contact with an empty bottle- light, airy, and in no way filled with the pills she needed to calm herself down and sleep for the night. Oh Fluttershy, how can you be so forgetful? She cursed herself as she reached for her phone with trembling hands. There, she scrolled down her contacts until she saw the name ‘KL’. He might be sleeping. It is only ten at night though. What if he doesn’t see the message? Fluttershy thought, biting on her thumb nail. She didn’t want to seem inconsiderate but she needed to buy some or she would spiral all over again. FS~: Hello KL, I hope you are well and I am not messaging you at an inconvenient time. I would like to purchase some more jewellery please. I will be at the usual meeting place but it is okay if you can’t make it. Fluttershy hesitated before pressing send- she didn’t want to sound desperate. Did she sound desperate? Who am I kidding, I’m an addict. Fluttershy thought to herself sadly. It was one of her biggest shames, and without the use of the pills it was the main reason she couldn’t sleep. She told herself that it isn’t as bad as the normal drugs teenagers do these days- just a prescription medication she so happened to not have a prescription for anymore. It was a coincidence that dealers sell a similar alternative to it. KL never responded to the messages. Something about how it can be tracked much easier. He told Fluttershy to just trust he would be there. And he was. From when Fluttershy started buying from him just over a year ago, KL was never late or never missed an appointment time. Fluttershy didn’t know why, but he was one of the nicest people she knew, and naively, believed that him selling her the drugs was because of his goodwill more than anything else.  She hated going out in the night, but KL only traded nocturnally, and she needed this more than she feared it and so she quickly threw on a raincoat and grabbed her house keys, making her way down the stairs.  “Hey Flutter Butter!” A voice called from the bottom of the stairs. She paused in alarm as she noticed her younger brother walk by with a box of pizza in his arms. He was lit by the TV’s white light and the quiet drone of the channel in the background made Fluttershy tense up even more. “Hello Zephyr.” She said kindly, continuing down the stairs quickly with her head down, hoping he wouldn’t pay her too much mind.  “Where are you going so late sis?” Fluttershy paused, panic unfurling in her chest as she thought up a lie to tell. “Um, Rainbow Dash! She uh…needs help with…something.” She started, each word getting quieter than the last. She realised then that bringing up her old friend would only make things more curious for Zephyr as he perked up and turned around from the TV to look at her. “Oh uh, does she need any help? I’m free! Let me go get ch-” “No! Uh, thank you Zephyr. It's a…girl thing?” She quickly interrupted, cringing at having to lie to him. She hated it. He nodded, but continued to frown. “Okay, but I'm dropping you. It’s raining and it's ten at night outside. There’s no way I'll let you walk it.” “Really Zephyr it’s fine.” She insisted. In return, her brother gave her a look as if to say there’s no point in arguing before leaving the couch and grabbing his own jacket. “I just don’t get why you refuse to get your licence sis.” He sighed as he headed out the door. Fluttershy bit her lip as she followed him out of the house silently. Already, she was planning on a way to change the story so he could drop her somewhere else, closer to the meeting spot but still not be suspicious of what was going on. As the two siblings got into the car and made their way to Rainbow’s house, Flutter could not calm the trembling in her hands, and so she covered it with the sleeves of her raincoat. The quiet patter of the rain on the roof of the car did little to calm Fluttershy’s nerves and the silence, save for the quiet voice on the radio, was deafening. She stared out the window for a while as Zephyr made quick glances at her, debating on whether to say something. After a moment, he sighed. “You weren’t gonna go to Rainbows’ house were you?” He said quietly, as though he already knew the answer. The older girl’s eyes widened as she stared at her brother, not expecting him to see through her lie. She took a breath to deny his allegation when he shook his head at her, causing her to stay silent. She was nervous and worried, but she didn’t dare say anything until he told her what he knew. “I don’t know what’s going on with you Flutter, but there aren’t any secrets between family, right? You told me that yourself.” Fluttershy looked down at her feet, heartbeat increasing in shame. “No, of course there isn’t.” She responded quietly, so quietly, that for most it would have just been a breath. She felt his eyes on the side of her face. “There isn’t. You don’t need to worry, Zephyr.” She said, louder this time. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the road ahead. He didn’t know what was going on with his older sister, but she hadn’t been the same this whole year. At first, he ignored it thinking it was a phase, or college stress was getting to her- It was getting to him that’s for sure- but as time went on, he noticed how she used to leave late at night and how she was almost always tired in the morning, but never in the night. He never said anything- it wasn’t his place and she was an adult- but as time passed, his worry increased. “Where am I taking you?” Fluttershy exhaled, focusing much more on her breaths than she needed to.  “You aren’t coming with me.” “Like hell I'm not. I’m worried about you, what type of brother would I be if I just let you go off on your own with no one to watch out for you?” “I’m capable of handling it myself, Zephyr.” “If i’m not coming with you, I’ll turn the car back around and you won’t be able to see whatever boy you're hooking up with.” “Dammit Zephyr!” She shouted, immediately covering her mouth with her hands, both people in the car shocked at the outburst. “Sorry,” They apologised together.  “Shit Flutters I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, that was really low.” He apologised, feeling guilty at his overreaction. Fluttershy wasn’t worried about what Zephyr was saying, instead staring at her hands that were feeling tingly and numb. “Zephyr please, I need you to trust me.” She pleaded, staring at him with wide eyes. He in turn stared back not knowing what to do. “I trust you Flutters, I’ve never not trusted you- you’re like, my lifeline. I just- I don’t want to see you get hurt.” “You won’t.” --- Twilight Sparkle loved family dinners. And it was rare to see a family dinner with special guest ‘Shining Armor’ present, seeing as how he lives alone now and is always too busy to see his family at home. So now as both her parents striked up a conversation with her older brother about his love life and Spike giving the occasional quip from his place at his dog food bowl, Twilight found herself overly giddy since everyone was in a particularly good mood. “You still haven’t introduced us to Cadence!” Velvet said, eyes wide in disbelief at her son’s audacity. Shining chuckled in return, “We’ve been meaning to visit you but she’s been busy with her job as Principal at Crystal Prep and she couldn’t come today. I promise next time I visit.” “I promise mum, you won’t be disappointed. Cadence is such a sweetheart!” Twilight spoke up from beside her brother. “Makes me wonder why she’s settling for you.” She jabbed at him playfully and in return Shining poked her in the waist with the back of his fork, laughing as well. “So dad, how’s Sherlock Holmes treating you?” Shining said as he went to get a second serving of his mother’s lasagna.  “No work-talk on the dinner table.” Velvet scolded. “Oh come on, I just wanna know about dad’s promotion! Lead detective on a case isn’t a joke.” Shining praised, to which Twilight’s father smiled proudly. “You flatter me kid, truth is, I haven’t had much luck with the ‘Michael JH Oneson’ case.” Twilight’s heart did a small jump at that. Her father had been given lead detective on one of Canterlot City’s biggest crime families a few months ago in order to take down Michael and his closest associates. He had to perform or he would be demoted, and so almost every few days Twilight eagerly asked for updates on the case to see how her father was doing. For his own work performance, and the safety of others in the city. Sometimes though, Twilight let herself in on the truth, and when she did, she let herself worry about a girl. A girl who had made some wrong choices in the past and was forced to keep with it until now, and if this girl was found, she would be punished the same way other horrible people would be for forcing her to keep to that group. That and knowing her father was given the job to specifically gather evidence of that group, it made her ponder. Ponder and fear and hurt and wonder. Wonder if it was wrong to warn Sunset Shimmer. “Bullshit dad,” “Language.” Velvet interrupted, making Shining smile apologetically to her. “Everyone in the city knows about Mikey and his gang. They’re notorious” Shining Armour said, waving a hand. “Knowing and proving are different things.” Twilight spoke up, “And also, Dad only knows a few of who Michael is associated with- there are still a lot of unknowns. They never slip up.” Night Light nodded in agreement with his daughter. “We would need proper evidence, word of mouth and rumours are never enough. If we are able to catch something-anything out of place, it might be enough to connect everything together and BAM!” He clapped his hands. “Easy win in court.” The table laughed heartily. Only one laugh was strained. --- Fluttershy’s raincoat’s hoodie hung heavy against her head, soaked by the downpour as she waited against a graffiti covered wall, her hands wrapped around the other and her feet pressed tightly against each other, trying her best to shrink away and appear invisible as her heart beat was overwhelmingly fast, and a cold sweat had begun to break across her body. Her eyes were trained against a cat sleeping soundly against a trash can, covered by a small shelter, trying to gain a sort of comfort from it. She had an urge to scoop it up and take it back to the animal shelter before the tingling in her hands made her mind go blank. She felt like Pinkie Pie- overwhelmed with a surge of energy, trembling hands, shaking knees. Instead of excitement, it was fear. She had been waiting against the alley for over ten minutes, and the logical part of her mind was screaming at her to leave. She couldn’t though. Just a few more minutes. It was too dark and too quiet. She was situated at a small grocery market that had closed many hours ago. The parking lot consisted of one lone car- Zephyr’s- and it was on the other side of the compound. She had faith in KL that he wouldn’t leave her stranded, but a part of her mind told her that tonight was different. That he can’t come. “Shy.” Fluttershy’s body jumped as a voice came from behind her, and she beamed to see KL had shown up. “KL.” She said relieved. “I thought you hadn’t seen my text.” KL shook slightly, as though he was chuckling. It was hard to tell. He was always covered in some form of clothing, with a hoodie over his head and a face mask covering his nose and mouth, so that the only part of him she could see was his eyes- a cool grey. “I’m sorry I’m late.” He said, voice muffled by the cloth mask. “You were waiting in the rain.” Fluttershy smiled kindly, the rain being the least of her concerns. She didn’t wait any longer though, skipping the small talk. “Do you have it?” She asked, desperation wading through her voice. KL shuffled his feet, pausing for a moment, his pale eyes burning into Fluttershy’s own. There was something different tonight, and Fluttershy’s heart jumped at the anticipation. “U-um, KL?” She continued. “I don’t have it tonight.” Fluttershy was silent, her mind racing through possibilities. She had become so dependent on the Xanax she knew that without it her body tremors might never stop. “What do you mean, KL?” “We had some delays. It won’t be here for a few weeks or months.” “Oh um. That’s okay.” She whispered, struggling to keep her body still, her skin feeling hot and cold all at the same time. She wanted to scream and yell and throw a tantrum. She thought they had something special, an agreement where he understood her exactly and now he just doesn’t want to sell it to her anymore? Fluttershy knew she was being ridiculous, that it was the withdrawals talking, but she couldn’t seem to find it within her to think straight. “Fluttershy,” He started, reaching out a hand to her shoulder before pulling back- his eyes watching her in concern as she shivered in the cold. Only, he knew it wasn’t the cold. “Withdrawals already?” He asked, although he was mostly telling himself. He knew of them starting after a couple of days, especially if she only took the Xanax at night like she told him she did. Unless she had started more often. It was unusual to see a client so shaken up after only a night without the drug. “You aren’t going to rob the drugstore are you?” Fluttershy looked at him discreetly, “Do you have um…anything else? Just to pass the time by?” Fluttershy watched as he hesitated for a moment before reaching into his coat pocket. She watched eagerly as he slowly pulled out a packet with four small pills in them. Her eyes flickered between the packet and the man.  “I do…but I’m telling you that you need to be careful with this. Have only half or a quarter tablet.” He said slowly, watching her frown. “Just one causes a full blackout…immediately. And a lot of the time people don’t remember anything from up to an hour before taking it.” Fluttershy’s eyebrows furrowed in concern as she looked at the drugs in his hands. “What is it called?” “Rohypnol.” A mind sweep. Fluttershy seemed to have snapped out of any sort of withdrawal symptoms she was having as she was overcome by shock and a sort of betrayal. Someone she thought was kind-hearted and good was just carrying around date-rape drugs to sell to people on the street, knowing the sort of psychological and physical damage it can cause to the victims. Her heart rate increased as she looked at KL in a different light. Her naivety had blinded her all these months. KL was never her friend. He was a con man who sold any and every type of drug despite its implications on the user just to gain a bit of cash. KL had noticed the way Fluttershy had backed away from him. “If you take only a portion of the pill it will not have as extreme an effect as I told you. I will give you one pill for free and if you like it you can buy more.” It was like she was buying pies from the bakery! The audacity of this man to just offer Fluttershy Rohypnol and pitch it like a real-estate agent. “No thank you. Is there another person who might sell some Xanax?” She said quietly, another step backward. “Just me.” He said, and Fluttershy knew he was lying. Canterlot City was known for its highest rates of crime, and at the forefront of it was drug-dealing. It just wasn’t possible that he was the only person who dealt with Xanax. “Oh.” There was a pause. “Could you tell me when it is delivered please?” “I will.” “How would I know?” “You’ll know.” Fluttershy forced a smile at him as he turned and walked through the alleyway. She was scared. Anyone who knew of Fluttershy would never expect her to roam streets at night looking for pills. She was kind and lovely, and every girl in school trusted her to be a girl’s girl. Except that she filled the pockets of a man who sold date-rape drugs to people. She felt directly to blame for any woman or man who had been a victim to one of those pills.  There in the night, with the rain drenching her clothes and drowning out all sound under its heavy wail, the girl let tears fall freely down her cheeks, hiding its appearance behind the raindrops from above. Tears and raindrops were almost the same, they looked the same, smelt the same, and sounded the same, but they never felt the same. Fluttershy’s tears didn’t feel like rain. They stung and burned and pricked her skin and she desperately rubbed a fist across her cheek to get rid of that feeling of shame she harboured in her. She believed the clouds cried for her, and she cried with them. After a while she cleaned tears and headed back to Zephyr’s car with nothing on her except heaviness.  Well, almost nothing. Fluttershy made a quick pit stop to take the stray cat home with her.