He's a Vampire

by Gormless Wheaton


Haunt in the Hospital


"Doesn't matter how many friends you bring!" The Storm King bellowed as he charged up another blast of magic, causing electric arcs to flash through the throne room. "What good will they do you against all this power?!" He cackled as he unleashed his spell. Rainbow rushed forward and tackled him, causing his attack to go wide and giving Applejack a chance to lasso the staff he wielded.

"Hey! Let go!" He demanded as he yanked on the staff. Rainbow and Pinkie galloped and helped Applejack pull on her rope.

"You've got it all wrong!" Twilight declared as the rest of her friends joined in the tug of war. "Friendship is the greatest power there is!"

Adam huffed from his hiding place behind a pillar behind the Storm King. He hated to spoil such a convicted speech, but this was easily the best chance he'd seen. The staff was compromised and the Storm King was focused on the ponies. He crouched forward and prepared to attack.

Then his Evil Eye twitched. Focusing on the source, he gasped aloud.

"What?" The Storm King muttered as he looked behind him where Adam was hiding. He never saw the vampire, but that momentary distraction cost him dearly, as with one unified effort, Twilight and her friends ripped the staff free from his hands, causing it to tumble through the air and explode with magical power.

Adam was forced to dispel his Evil Eye and rush from his hiding place to avoid being buried in the rubble as the magic tore into the roof and brought it down in places. He hissed under his breath and he was driven out of the room by random bolts of magic. With the staff going off, and the rapidly collapsing room, his chance was spoiled. But despite the severity of the situation, that was not what hurt him most.

Taking a breath in the hall he now sat, he sent out his Evil Eye again and watched as the new vampire incinerated Dog's body with magic. Adam clenched his teeth. The fact they could cast spells was something he was never told. Just one of many lies by omission given to him when he awoke.

This is why they needed the tome they'd stolen, and it was further justification for his attempts to flee the path the Longhorns had set for all four of them, at least if the sheep who awoke him wasn't also lying.

"No.. Three now," he whispered. He turned and knelt with a fist to his forehead.

"Father, forgive this wayward soul his mischief, spare him your wrath, and welcome him into your mercy. Give me strength in his wake, O Lord. Amen."

Adam took a quivering breath and drew himself back to his feet. Sending his Evil Eye out, he saw the Storm King and the princess hurl themselves out an upper window in a struggle for the staff, before getting pulled into the chaotic winds outside. The sun was already piercing the clouds in a few places. Growling to himself, he turned and fled for a window.

"Forgive me, Mad Dog. Finish my task in my stead, princess," he thought. Hurling himself through the glass, he changed into mist and vanished from Canterlot.


I kept the flames roaring, the shrill whine of the spell overshadowing Dog's laughter until his ghost and voice faded to nothing. Cutting the spell, I breathed heavily as his body slowly collapsed into a pile of ashes.

"Peter?" I looked over at Sunbeam, who had an exhausted look in her eyes. I smiled at her.

"We got him," I declared, still huffing. She smiled back but then flinched. Before I could ask, I saw the flames out of the corner of my eye roar with new life and turn black.

The second I gave the phenomenon my full attention, the flames reared up in a series of black tendrils and shot into my chest. I felt the air leave my lungs as the fire leaped up and vanished into my body. All that was left of Mad Dog were fine grey ashes that got picked up in the winds rocking the city.

When I finally breathed in, I felt my body creak, like I'd just woke up from a long nap, and my senses sharpened briefly. I blinked and found myself staring at a paneled ceiling.

"Wh-"

"Peter!" I heard Pinkie cry. "He's awake everypony!" I grumbled and groaned as I sat up in what revealed itself to be an extra large hospital bed. Blinking, I saw Twilight, her friends, and Starlight come galloping in.

"Where the hell am I?" I huffed, rising to my feet despite their protests.

"You're in Dr. Mango's office just off the plaza. Starlight got you and Cozy here after you passed out," Twilight explained, trying to force me back into bed with her hooves.

"You've been in Stupor since before the sun went down, and it's past midnight now," Starlight explained. "What the heck happened?"

"Where's Cozy?" I asked, scanning the room and gently pushing Twilight away.

"She's asleep in the room next to yours. She-"

I slipped out the door and to the next room. There, in a smaller bed, I saw Cozy sitting up with a bandage around her head, with Sunbeam in a chair next to her, and Quilt sitting on the bed with Cozy. The pair of sheep noticed me at the door and waved.

"Hey, Peter," Cozy called. "Glad you're not dead."

"Same to you," I replied, stepping in and looking at her friends. "How's she doing?"

"Peter?" I heard Twilight call from the door. "How'd you do that?" I looked back to see her and the gang come trotting in after me.

"Do what?"

"Dude, you just vanished!" Rainbow replied, to which I flinched.

"I did?"

"I thought I saw fog where you were standing, but then you were just gone!" Starlight declared.

"Huh," I looked over myself and turned my hands over. "I.. really didn't notice." The group piled in and looked up at me.

"What the heck happened t'ya'll?" Applejack asked. I pondered her question as I continued studying my hands. Images of the fight with Mad Dog flashed in my mind, as well as what happened when I burned him.

"When I burned Mad Dog, the fire turned black," I hummed and shrugged as I tried to find the best way to describe what happened. "And then, kind of.. jumped into me."

"Is that what that was?" I heard Quilt ask. I looked up and saw her rubbing her chin. "I felt my skin crawl just before you passed out. I thought it was just nerves." We shared a look as the rest of the group looked me over. Whatever happened, Quilt must've felt it through our link. I heard the sound of Twilight's magic and looked to see her waving her horn near me.

"Whoa," she gasped. "The dark magic comprising your body is way denser!"

"By how much?" Starlight asked. Twilight took a step back and looked at me in wonder.

"By at least double!" She declared, at which Starlight gasped. "You must have absorbed the dark magic from the other vampire!" I choked and stumbled, holding on to the wall.

"The hell's that even mean?! Am I-" I stuttered and gasped. "Am I okay? Like-" Twilight hummed and magically scanned me again.

"You don't seem to be enduring any psychological changes.." She said, rubbing her chin.

"That's because it is only flesh-deep and will not reach his soul," a new voice spoke as Princess Celestia and a blue alicorn entered the room. All the ponies bowed as she entered, except Twilight who hopped forward and hugged her.

"I was wondering when you two'd get here!" She said as Celestia returned the gesture. "How's Tempest?"

"She's been quite cooperative and is awaiting questioning, along with the others who surrendered," Celestia explained before looking up at me. I sighed in relief at the sight of her, before she ruffled her wings and huffed.

"I certainly hope it doesn't take an invasion every time I want you to come visit," she said with a disappointed whine. I stumbled at her accusation before she brushed me with a wing and giggled. "But I'll take what I can get." I huffed as she laughed.

"And here I was about to say how relieved I was to see you safe," I retorted. She winked at me but then yelped when I yanked her into a hug. "Which I guess is still true." The group watched us in surprise as Celestia returned the gesture with a wing.

"It's good to see you as well, my friend," Celestia said before we released each other. She gestured to the alicorn at her side. "Peter, this Luna, my little sister and co-ruler of Equestria." Luna bowed her head slightly, and I returned the gesture.

"I've heard a few stories about you, most recently your part in the liberation of Canterlot," she said. "Whether it needs to be said or not, you have our gratitude for your efforts." Celestia nodded, and I blinked in realization.

"Oh yeah, what all happened after I passed out?" I asked looking over everyone present.

"Oh! It was crazy!" Pinkie began. "We found the Storm King in the throne room, and he was all like 'I'm going to take over the world!' and we were like 'Nuh-uh!' and then Twilight tumbled out the window with him, and then he exploded!" She completed her story with a deep breath, flailing her forelegs in the air. I looked at the others, who nodded in agreement.

"All the storm beasts in the city have either fled or surrendered," Starlight added, still studying me closely. "And the fleet of airships sailed away."

"Okay," I huffed and scratched my neck. "What about the other two vampires?"

"There's been no sign of them since their leader delivered Twilight to the Storm King," Celestia explained, stepping past me into the center of the room. "I suspect they were only in league with the Storm King to fulfill their own ambitions."

"Their own ambitions?" Rarity repeated. "What ever do you mean?" Luna stepped in and joined her sister's side.

"While we were imprisoned in stone, they discovered and plundered a hidden chamber in the library," Luna explained. "The fiends transformed a few captured ponies into the undead to thwart our wards of defense and warning." I heard Sunbeam gasp and turned to see her holding back tears.

"Captain Holder," she whimpered. Celestia stepped to her side and wrapped a wing around her.

"He is at peace now, Lieutenant," she said quietly as Sunbeam hugged her tight. "And the one responsible is destroyed." Sunbeam nodded and shook. They stayed like that for a minute before Celestia withdrew and turned back to the rest of us. Sunbeam sniffled and took a breath but then composed herself.

"What did they steal?" Twilight asked after regarding Sunbeam sadly.

"A compilation of all the details I could find about Woollachia's undead, and the Longhorns," Celestia explained with a weary sigh. "As well as everything we know about the ancient rites Grogar employed to create and foster the first Nosferatu."

"What the heck'd they want somethin' like that for?" Applejack asked.

"We cannot know for certain," Luna replied. "But if nothing else, their knowledge of their own power will certainly increase." She looked at me.

"For that reason, it may be a blessing our own vampire's power has increased," she said with a smile.

"What?"

"As Luna said, the dark magic you absorbed has only gone flesh-deep," Celestia explained, sweeping a wing across my chest. "Your soul is untouched. Were it otherwise, as I'm sure you can guess, you'd have caught fire already." I gawped and stammered.

"That can happen? The dark magic thing, I mean," to my shock, Celestia shrugged.

"Vampires killing vampires is not something I've ever witnessed," she admitted, looking me up and down. "But it does not appear to have been to your detriment, so I choose to count it a blessing." Before I had a chance to panic over the implications, her reassuring eyes met mine. I hummed and took a breath.

"Fair enough," I finally said and folded my arms. Twilight stepped forward.

"Even if Peter's tougher now, that won't help us much if we have no idea where the other two ran off to," she declared. Celestia nodded and addressed the group again.

"With his consent, Peter will be only one factor in a much larger effort we will be pursuing in the coming weeks," she explained. "In fact, the friends you've returned to Canterlot with will also be playing a part."

"Capper and all them?" Applejack asked. Luna nodded and hummed in affirmation.

"They've all come from lands terrorized by the Storm King, and have agreed to lend their talents and experience to us," Celestia continued. "We intend to unite all the lands who have suffered under his reign into a coalition for mutual defense and to hunt down and defeat Adam and his cohort." The sisters looked at me.

"And we wish to request Woollachia join in that effort," Luna declared. I shrugged.

"I'm game, but I'll have to run it by everyone back home," I replied, to which they both nodded.

"And, of course, you'll need an expert in vampire hunting!" Cozy shouted before wincing and holding her head. Quilt gently nudged her back to her pillow.

"You almost got killed, even with Peter around," Quilt muttered sadly. "Be realistic, Cozy."

"I got caught off guard, that's all!" Cozy retorted, waving a hoof at her. "I just need some proper combat training, and I'll be ready next time!" Sunbeam hummed at that, and Celestia stepped closer.

"Well, perhaps Lieutenant Sunbeam could help with that?" She offered, and Sunbeam blinked at her. "It would certainly be a strong sign of solidarity between Woollachia and Equestria to have one of our agents deployed to aid in defense training, after all." She looked back at me expectantly.

"No argument here. If she wants to stay at Ramstead, that's fine with me," I shrugged again but then hummed in thought. "In fact, I'd like to request you send Hasty Deference and Blueblood, too." The entire group gawped at my statement.

"I can understand Hasty, but.." Twilight muttered. Her friends seemed to have similar reservations.

"Blueblood's proved pretty useful, even if only as a ship's captain," I explained. "I'm not planning on getting rid of that airship we stole, so if he's willing, I'd like to have him stick around. Same goes for Hasty, obviously." The sisters shared a look before Celestia nodded.

"I believe that is fair," she replied and turned to Sunbeam. "What do you say, Lieutenant?" Sunbeam smiled and looked between the princess and Cozy.

"Yes! Of course!" She squealed and was pulled into a hug by Cozy.

"Wonderful," Celestia said with a giggle, before smirking. "Just keep in mind you'll be under Prince Harlow's authority for the duration." Sunbeam blanched and regarded me with horror for a moment before relaxing.

"Understood, princess," she replied with a smile. She and Cozy shared another hug, but Quilt sulked at the news.

"Great," she muttered. I slinked up and sat next to her.

"Hey, I felt the same way about all three of you coming along to Canterlot," I offered, causing her to grimace. "We've all got a better idea of what we're getting into this time at least." Quilt sighed and nodded as I scratched her side.

"Fret not, young Woollachian," Luna said, approaching where we sat. "For now, we shall take time to study and watch for the movements of our enemies. Should all go well, your friend will be free from danger for some time yet."

"With that in mind, we must take our leave," Celestia added with a bow. "I'm sorry to cut our reunion short, but there is still much to do, especially if we're to fulfill your requests, Peter. It was wonderful to see you in good health, and this has already been a more productive visit than I'd hoped." We all bowed as the sisters left before Twilight and her friends faced us.

"It's pretty late, so we should probably head to bed," she said before following the other princesses out. "Glad to see you're both okay!"

"Yeah! We'll have to hold a make-up Friendship Festival since you missed the first one!" Pinkie cried as she and the rest followed Twilight. Rarity was the only one who lingered behind, looking me up and down.

"And we certainly need to have a talk about your wardrobe, if you're still only wearing that," she said with a huff before slipping out.

"Have a good night, all," I called as they all slipped out the door. Turning to those left behind, I sighed. "So, how are you feeling, Cozy?"

"Oh, I'm feeling great! We took out a legitimate evil vampire!" She cheered, dragging Quilt and Sunbeam into another hug.

"We sure did," I laughed. "But I meant in the physical sense."

"The doctor said she needs to rest, but so long as we keep her from running around, she should be fine to travel on the ship back to Woollachia," Quilt replied. I stretched and sighed.

"Alrighty, once we find out if Blueblood and Hasty are on board, let's get home," I declared. "We gotta get those refugees back here anyhow."


"C'mon, Cozy!" The happily prancing Sunbeam cheered back at the collapsed heap that was Cozy. "Three more laps! You can do it!" Cozy responded with a noise that was a mix between a steam pipe bursting and a tea kettle whistling. Sunbeam wilted and walked back to her friend.

"Two more laps?" She negotiated. I laughed at the display from where I sat in the dark entry hall of the castle, before taking a sip from the mug Frill had just filled for me.

"Maybe we should consider such a regimen for Quilt," Frill hummed as she sat down beside me. "I'm thinking.. Seven laps for every dish she refuses to bring down and wash?" I huffed a laugh.

"We'd have to do a ritual to bring her back from that one," I replied, cracking my wrist and conjuring three small motes of fire.

"Well, she'd at least be more cooperative as a zombie," Frill shot back, watching as I set the three motes in a small orbit. "More hygienic, too."

I laughed but said nothing, focusing on adding more fire to the small ring I was creating. The past few days since we'd returned, even without Quilt's help, I'd been putting my body to the test and had steadily gained an understanding of what had actually changed in my body.

I shaped the flame in my hand into a ball, which then transformed into a small, fiery doll in the form of Frill, who I made do a little curtsy before swirling away to cinders. The real Frill next to me clapped her hooves at the sight.

In the same way Mad Dog seemed to have had very fine control over his mist form and Evil Eye, I now had a similar degree of control over every part of my arsenal. I could even use magic while transformed, which, while I now wondered if that was something I could always do, was how I'd managed to slip by Twilight and company in the hospital. I had reflexively turned to mist and teleported away, which had the neat effect of creating no flash.

"If you're not too busy showing off to your ewe-friend, the mare you're cheating on her with just wrote," Quilt called as she came skipping out with a scroll she dropped in my lap. Frill humphed as Quilt sat on the side opposite her and looked out at the now crawling shape of Cozy.

"Finally. Let's see what's what. Maybe we'll have something to tell Briefs and the rest," I hummed, opening the scroll, and focusing on its contents. Celestia and her sister had had their hooves full ever since we left, and this was the first we'd heard from them since. Quilt leaned onto my lap to look at Frill.

"He didn't deny it~," Quilt chirped, causing Frill to lean back at her, forcing me to raise the scroll in my hands.

"And somewooly's deflecting out of jealousy~," Frill chirped back. The two hummed in faux amusement as they shared a glare.

"Hey, so get this," I said, magically nudging them back. "They've finally got some details on Adam and his boys from Tempest and the storm beasts." Hearing my announcement, Sunbeam came trotting up with Cozy draped over her back.

"What'd they find out?" She asked over Cozy's wheezing.

"They showed up about five years back, and immediately swore fealty to the Storm King," I replied, still reading the letter. "The Storm King welcomed them in, and put them to work against some place called the United Cities." Sunbeam hummed in realization.

"The United Cities are where Minotaurs come from," she explained, gently sliding Cozy to the ground. "Equestria has a lot of trade deals with them. I wonder how he kept that a secret?"

"Apparently, he had some weirdo named Verko for an ally," I said, scanning the relevant lines. "Guy has a lot of connections and could intercept news from places the Storm King conquered. He could make it seem like everything was a-okay to their neighbors."

"Spooky," Quilt muttered. I nodded in agreement.

"Speaking of spooky, Adam had a fourth pal he showed up with," I looked up at them. "A somber and reclusive ram named Gruff." I chuckled as I looked back at the letter.

"Sounds like Longhorn fuckery to-"

Quilt ripped the letter out of my hands and threw it on the ground, where she firmly held it open with her hooves.

"Quilt?" Cozy wheezed, having found the strength to roll upright, and cast a fearful stare Quilt's way. I looked between the two as Quilt read the letter herself. I could hear her heartbeat racing, and her breathing became heavy.

"Wha.." She finally huffed and fell on her side, eyes still locked on the letter. I scooted to her side and she slowly looked up at me with dread in her eyes.


It had been a few days since the Storm King had been defeated, and while there was still an effort in place to rebuild everything his army had ruined, life had to go on. And where life was, there had to be parties, especially following such a scary sequence of events.

"Bye, Pinkie! Thanks again!" Leafy Green called after the party mare herself as she skipped away from the sixth 'Saw-the-inside-of-Peter's-spooky-castle' party this week. There was still a lengthy list of ponies who had such a party coming, but the sun was setting now, and even Pinkie Pie had to sleep eventually. Not that many would believe you if you said so.

But as she skipped down the road in the late evening light, sleep suddenly became the last thing on her mind. Her left ear twitched, her right foreleg ankle clenched, and her tail snapped out.

She stopped dead in her tracks and waited, holding her breath.

Then the yellow patch of her cutie mark bristled and she took off at a full gallop. Bounding through town, she came to a sliding halt in front of Sugar Cube Corner, where the door sat slightly ajar, despite the sign being flipped to closed and the blinds all being shut.

She rushed in, flipping over the 'Welcome! Come on in!' mat she'd placed at the front door and saw Mr. and Mrs. Cake asleep in the middle of the floor.

"Mr. Cake? Mrs. Cake? What-"

The door clicked shut behind her. She whirled around and gasped when she saw who shut the door before the vampire shushed her firmly.

"The babies are sleeping, sweetheart," Candy whispered, presenting the sleeping baby Cakes in his arm. He shook his head as he stared at Pinkie. "No, no, no, don't cry. We got shit to do. Here.." His free hand reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out a small yellow crystal he ground into a powder with the same hand.

"Have a sample and relax," he said, offering the powder to her.