Dear Diary,
In some ways, it was worse than we imagined. Alex was sitting on an old stump, covered in blood, crying. Dash wasn't holding him, or comforting him at all. She was just sitting close by, her back to him.
I was so mad at the so-called Element of Loyalty for abandoning her stallion that I walked right up to him and held him. Elusive followed suit, then that hussy Beatrix, even Big Mac put a hoof on his shoulder. We didn't hold on to him too tight, seeing as he had a hurt arm and all, but we did help him up and get him to the hospital.
Everyone except me, Elusive, Big Mac, and Beatrix left. While we were waiting, Dash came out and gave me a sign that she wanted to talk in private. Bea and Mac were talking in the corner, so I sent my Elusive to get some coffee. He's real sweet and I think he knew we needed some private time because he said it may take a while, maybe half an hour. Then he quickly added, "Or, it can be faster if you want it to be." He made me chuckle at his consideration and I said a half hour would be fine.
Me and Dash found a quiet spot and as soon as the door was closed; before it had even stopped swinging, Dash started to cry.
"It was terrible, he killed it without a second thought. I told him, right there, AJ. I told him I didn't want to stay with him. I couldn't even make myself hold him and comfort him, AJ. I told him I didn't want to be with him tonight, and I didn't know when I would be ready."
Then, R.D. did something I have never seen her do, she cried and sobbed like a foal. "I don't want it to be Gilda all over again. He's not like her, AJ. He's warm and kind, and... and good, but he's got that same wild, dangerous animal inside of him. He can be so cold-blooded, just like when he cut the cat's throat, and then yelled at Flutters for being upset with him. I just don't want to deal with that kind of stuff again. Not again."
R.D. carried on a while more, but all I could think about was that she may not love him anymore. In fact, I couldn't even bring myself to say anything in his defence, like... like I wanted their relationship to fail.
The only thing I could say was that she should follow her heart. She took off, right then and there.
After we got word from the doc that he was patched up and could leave any time, he didn't come out of the treatment room. Beatrix had said Princess Luna told her to keep an eye on him, so after about half an hour, she went in to check on him.
She didn't come out for a few minutes, so I went to see what in tarnation was going on. I got in there and for a split second, I thought I was in the wrong room and had walked into a couple make'n hay. The Beatrix hussy was holding her tail high enough that I got an eyeful of her privates.
Well, Alex being Alex, he smoothed everything over, and we both held him for a few minutes. The Beatrix isn't all that bad.
I'll finish this up tomorrow.
Signed,
Tired from a long night.
P.S.
On the way home, after Alex did what he wanted to do, I had a thought catch me completely by surprise. 'If Dash doesn't want him, I'll take him.' I wanted to track her down and tell her to forget about him and find somepony else, anypony else, go back to Gilda, anything for me to try him again. I shouldn't be thinking this, I have a wonderful special friend, Elusive. I love him, don't I? Alex is just a brother, nothing more, right? Am I lying to myself about one or the other? I'm not, am I? I'm the Element of Honesty, I should know when I'm lying. I am truly ashamed and hate myself for thinking such thoughts.