Two unicorns with fantastic facial hair came ploughing through the hoard of dronies on a strange vehicle. Upon seeing the matching shirts, bowties and shredded hats, Dr. Gluefoot quickly turned to Tippy. He yanked the skull off her head and stuffed it in his saddlebag as she stood up and began to bob her head in time with the sourceless music that accompanied them.
“♫Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, equines who aren’t safe and sound,♫” the bearded unicorn sang. “♫Mostly it’s ravaged throats, no tongues, and not a darn survivor to be found. Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair.♫”
The moustached unicorn chimed in “♫That the key that they need to solve this sad drony problem you and I will share~!♫”
Scoutabout babbled excitedly and managed to be more incomprehensible than usual.
Both unicorns chorused, “♫Well we've got absolute safety for your tiny community!♫”
“♫He’s Flim,♫” the moustached unicorn sang.
“♫He’s Flam,♫” added Flim.
“♫We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers~!♫” chorused Flim and Flam, “♫Travelling drony-hunters nonpareil~!♫”
Tippy stopped bobbing her head and asked “Non-pa what?” before dancing as hard as she could.
“♫Nonpareil, and that's exactly the reason why, you see,♫” Flim sang, “♫No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to thrive where you’re forced to be.♫” He appeared next to Maregyver and gave her a kiss on the horn, causing Zequa to start shaking. “♫We’re in a new world, with tons of dronies. Flesh squeezed and readily stinking.♫”
“♫More dronies than you can kill in all your days of thinking~,♫” Flam chimed in.
“I doubt that,” Longrange dismissed them as he flung his arrow through three dronies that were sneaking up on him.
“♫So we’ll give absolute safety,♫” Flim and Flam chorused.
Maregyver joined them as they sang, “♫To this tiny community,♫” before being quiet and looking apologetically at Zequa.
“♫He’s Flim,♫” sang Flam.
“♫He’s Flam,♫” added Flim.
“♫We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers~!♫” chorused Flim and Flam, “♫Travelling drony-hunters nonpareil~!♫”
“♫I suppose by now you're wondering 'bout our peculiar mode of transport,♫” Flim sang.
” ♫I say, our mode of devastation~,♫” Flam added.
“♫And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised safety?♫”
“♫Any horse can make a claim and any zebra can do the same.♫”
“♫But my brother and I have something most unique and superb; unseen at any time in this big new world.♫”
“♫And that's absolute safety~!♫” both unicorns sang.
“♫Folks, it's the one and only, the biggest and the best,♫” sang Flim.
“♫The unbelievable,♫” sang Flam.
“♫Unimpeachable.♫”
“♫Indispensable.♫”
“♫I can't believe-able.♫”
“♫Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000~!♫” Both unicorns musically advertised.
“What d'you say, sister?” Flam asked Maregyver.
Maregver began to sing, “♫So, you are offering safety for this tiny community. Please Flim, please Flam, help us out of this jam with your Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000~.♫”
“Young filly, I would be ever so honoured if you might see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your disgusting, and might I add spell-bindingly fragrant dronies for our little demonstration here?” Flim asked as he slided up to the nearest member of the string.
Hoof-to-Hoof looked shocked and responded, “Uh, sure, I guess.” He then frowned and glared at Flim.
“♫Absolute safety, for our community,♫” Maregyver sang.
“♫Ready Flim?♫” asked Flam.
“♫Ready Flam?♫” asked Flim.
“♫Let's bing-bang zam!♫” the brothers sang as they used their magic to power up the Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000.
“And show these tainted ponies a world of detestable grinders!” added Flim.
*Voom-crunch!* *Voom-crunch!* *Voom-crunch!* *Voom-crunch!*
The Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000 began to suck up dronies and grind them into a stinking paste. The paste was then poured into leaky barrels and stacked by the machine.
“Watch closely my friends!” Flim announced.
“♫The fun begins~!♫” Flam announced.
“Now, here's where the magic happens,” Flim explained, “Right here in this heaving roiling drony press boiling guts of the very machine, those dronies’ plucked flesh is right now as we speak being turned into grade-A top-notch five-star blow-your-horseshoes-off one-of-a-kind taint-paste!”
“♫Feel free to take a sneak peek~!♫” Flam offered.
Dr. Gluefoot began to sing with a voice so good that the Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000 paused mid-drony to listen. “♫Now wait, you men, just hold it! You went and over-sold it! I guarantee that what you have does not compare. And that the clearly ideal resolution is a healing aqueous solution. And that’s medicine, pricks, Dr. Gluefoot's medicine and♫ care?”
“♫Well Doctor, I'm glad you brought that up, you hear, I say I'm glad you brought that up,♫” Flim responded, “♫You see that we are very picky when it comes to dronies if you'll kindly just pay up♫”
“♫Yes, sir, yes ma'am this great machine makes us the very best,♫” Flam sang, “♫So whaddaya say then, ponies? Care to step into the secure world and put the Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000 to the test~?♫
*Voom-crunch!* *Voom-crunch!* *Voom-crunch!* *Voom-crunch!*
The Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy started up again and the hoard of dronies was rapidly liquefied.
“What do you think, folks? Do you see what the doctor can't? I see it clear as day! I know she does! So does he!” Flim proclaimed as he pointed to Maregyver and the still seething Zequa. “C’mon; dronies kill, you know what I'm talking about!”
Flim and Flam chorused, “♫We're saying we've got.♫”
Maregyver joined in and they all chorused. “♫Absolute safety for this tiny community. He's Flim, he's Flam, we're the world famous Flim Flam brothers. Travelling drony-hunters nonpareil~!♫”
Flim and Flam simultaneously cheered “Yeah!” while wearing grins only Tippy and Pinky Pie could beat.
The Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000 launched a barrel which flew straight toward Tippy.
*CRUNCH!* *SPLURT!* *SPLAT!*
The barrel spiralled towards Tippy’s face and broke against the ground next to her, leaving her completely untouched as she danced to the music that had finished a minute previously.
“She’s a good dancer,” Flim commented.
“Yeah,” agreed Flam, “What a surprise.”
“TIPPY!” Hoof-to-Hoof yelled at his sister after three minutes of additional dancing. He knocked his hoof on her head until she stopped.
“What?” she asked, “Why did you stop my fun?”
“The music stopped four minutes ago.”
“So?”
“Ya gonna to step in something. There’s goo everywhere.”
“He’s right little filly,” Flim told Tippy.
“You could get hurt,” Flam added
“I can’t-” Tippy began.
“-believe we’d meet the Flim Flam brothers when we were in so much trouble,” Dr. Gluefoot interrupted her, “What do we owe you for helping us?”
“Nothing,” Longrange said as he cleaned his arrow. He wiped sweat off his brow and continued, “If you had killed dronies instead of singing like I did we would have taken them out easily. As long as we have Ti-”
“-ppy to protect, we’ll take whatever help we can,” Dr. Gluefoot interrupted. “As thanks for your services, we’d be happy to take you to an orchard we came across not too long ago. It should still have enough apples for two men such as you to thrive for at least three weeks. It is a four hour walk, however.”
“That’s very generous of you, giving us information like that,” Flim accepted.
“We can give you a ride and cut down on the time it takes to get there,” Flam offered.
“Let’s leave before the smell draws more dronies in,” Dr. Gluefoot agreed.
He walked over to Tippy and Longrange, making a show of picking up Tippy and carrying her towards the Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000. He looked to Zequa and gave him a brotherly smile.
“I don’t want these guys knowing how strong you are,” he murmured to Tippy loud enough so only Longrange could hear. They all boarded the Super Speedy Snyder Squeezy 6000 and set off back toward the orchard.