Title: Sleepless In The Crystal Empire
Description: Sombra has insomnia and can’t sleep the night before he is supposed to give a very important address to his kingdom.
Episode Number: Five.
King Sombra wakes up and gets out of bed, after which he looks in the mirror and grins at himself.
He does all his morning things, or rather, gets them done for him, and then heads downstairs for some breakfast.
Everything seems to go perfectly. For once, the cooks haven't burnt his breakfast or somehow gotten it made wrong, and to top it off, Aerion, Monoceros and Comet aren't at each others throats for once. Rather, they are busy being....statues?
"Ahh," King Sombra gives a contented sigh as he sips his coffee.
And then he looks back at the trio. "Aerion? Monoceros? Comet?" He waves a hand in front of each of their faces as he speaks their names.
Of course, none of them reply.
"Well, isn't this rather strange?"
"Good Morning, King Sombra," Hope enters with her breakfast and takes a seat at the table.
"Good Morning to you too, Hope."
"I suppose you're wondering why they are statues."
"It was the very question on my mind. Do you have something to do with this?"
"Well, I guess you could say that. Remember how tomorrow you're supposed to give an important address to the Empire tomorrow?"
"Ah, yes, the one about...uh, what was it again?"
"I think it was about safety."
"But I slightly recall it being about how I need more guards to take over the world?"
"No, actually I think it was going to be about how donuts will be banned, and why."
"Or maybe about how I was going to just get rid of all these incompetent fools of guards and do things completely by myself, with no one by my side?"
"So, you won't even let me help you? And I thought I was your best friend... Or something like that." Hope makes a sad face, which Sombra is oblivious to.
"Eh, if I let you help I'll have to share the power with you or something. I want all the power for myself, so I can be the sole ruler! I mean, look at the Two Sisters. They co rule Equestria, and look at how pitifully weak they are."
"But that's because they're sisters! Sisters never get along with each other, and they probably fight all of the time!"
"I guess that could be. Anyway, did you remember what my speech was going to be about?"
"I had it on the tip of my tongue... And then I forgot it."
"...Damn it. Now how will I prepare my speech when I can't even remember what the fuck it was supposed to be about?!"
"Wait a second. I don't remember what the speech was going to be about, as you literally gave us all such a long speech yesterday while explaining it, but... General Monoceros, Air Chief Comet and Admiral Aerion were there! Perhaps they'll remember!"
"Great idea! But unfortunately, you froze them!"
"I can unfreeze them?"
"For some reason, you sound unsure."
"Well, to be honest, I can't remember if the spell was reversible." Sombra glares daggers at Hope. "What? It was a pretty old spell... I think it was from the time of Discord and that was only....a million years ago."
Sombra facehooves and then looks at his cold coffee and breakfast. "Aarrgh!" He gives a scream of frustration, and levitates the table out of the window, letting it fall onto some guards. He hears their screams. "Eh, the guards weren't anything other than decoration anyways. So nothing is lost... I guess."
He turns to Hope, and his horn glows a dangerous red, causing her to gulp in fear, hoping that she wouldn't be thrown out of the window. "Now, Hope, are you going to reverse the spell or not?"
Hope trembles and then turns to face the trio, letting her horn glow with magic. She closes her eyes and as her aura envelopes the new statues, she murmurs some words that are in a language Sombra thinks is a little familiar to him.
Where did I hear that before?
Hope opens her eyes to see that... Nothing happened.
Sombra becomes angrier and she can't help but cry out, "Please don't throw me out of the window!"
"Then you better fix this bloody problem you caused! You used a spell book, right?" At Hope's fearful nod, he continues, "Then just open the damn thing and find the spell to reverse it!"
"I-I'll go g-get it."
After she dashes upstairs, Sombra paces, muttering curses. He curses Hope, her mother, her ancestors, the guards, Amore, and so on.
"Well?" He asks impatiently as she comes back in. "Where is it?"
She looks down, not wanting to meet his gaze and mumbles something.
"What did you say?"
She mumbles it again.
"For the sake of your life, say it louder!"
"I-I can't find it!" Hope bursts into tears as Sombra's green eyes become red and dilated.
"What. Did. You. Say."
"I don't know... I swear, it was there yesterday... Or wait... I think I returned it. The librarian was very strict..."
"Then why the hell are you crying? Just go to the castle library and get the fucking book back!"
"That's the problem. I didn't get the book from this library..."
"Then where the bloody hell did you get it from?! I swear, it's like I'm trying to get information out of a rock, with the way you're talking!"
"Uh... You remember about the umbrum world?"
"How could I forget it?"
"I got it from the library there."
"Well, go get it back. Shoo!"
"I-"
"You what?!"
"I'm scared..."
"Ugh," Sombra groans and sinks into his chair. "Then how weren't you scared when you went there?"
"Because I had Aerion, Comet and Monoceros tag along with me."
"None of this makes any fucking sense! Well, you know what? I don't care if you're scared. You're going to go there, undo all of this and then you'll never try to help me again!"
"Sombra...please..."
"I need to give the speech tomorrow! Everyone in the Empire was made aware of that! Do you know how much of a fool I'll look like if I go on stage and say nothing!"
"S-"
"No. I'm going to bed. I don't care if it's the middle of the day, you've exhausted me with all this. Go and undo what you've done, or else."
With that he storms off.
Hope cries into her hands. Whatever shall I do...?
Tonight was a very important night in Castle Sombra, for tomorrow, the majestic ruler of the Crystal Empire -and soon the whole world- would be giving a speech.
The one and only King Sombra.
(Seriously, naming his castle after himself? How very narcissistic...)
This speech of his was not just any old speech. It would be one of the most important ones given in history!
"And," continued Radiant Hope, "that is why you need to get a good night's sleep tonight. So that even if none of us can remember the topic of your speech, you'll hopefully be able to come up with something by the morning."
King Sombra groaned and removed his pillow from around his ears. "And how exactly am I supposed to be able to sleep when those hooligans named Monoceros, Aerion and Comet are making so much noise that I can barely think? I swear, it was better when they were frozen."
BAM!
CRASH!
BATTLE CRIES!
BLOODTHIRSTY SCREAMS!
BAM!
CRASH!
She winced. "Well… We're unicorns! We have magic, and we can easily use a spell to block their noise."
"Spells require the caster to be awake when they're in use, Radiant. Unless you'll stay up all night, casting the spell for me?"
"I'd love to!"
" ...That was supposed to be a joke, " Sombra muttered. "But still, we, or more specifically, I, need to teach them a lesson. Stay here and wait for me. "
With that, he took the blankets off and marched out of the room.
Air Chief Comet, Admiral Aerion and General Monoceros were all sitting around the dining table, bickering over who ate the last dessert.
It should be noted that they were completely drunk, or that's what the many empty bottles of wine around them testified to.
"And you threw it across the room!" laughed Monoceros, clapping his hands together.
"Hey! That's not funny! " yelled Aerion, jumping onto the table, scooping a bag of donuts into his hands and holding them close to his chest. "How could you treat my babies like that? Baby, are you okay? " he asked, checking on a donut that had fallen out.
"You three!" yelled King Sombra as he marched into the room. "Behave!"
All that happened was…
BASH!
"Those aren't real!" screeched Comet, ripping the bag in half as he attempted to tug it out of Aerion's grip. "It's just food you idio-"
SMACK!
BAM! BAM! BAM!
As the donut-parent angrily tried to hit the offender, but missed and ended up hitting Monoceros who retaliated by firing several magical blasts from his horn.
PUNCH!
SCREAMS!
Aerion jumped onto the table and smacked the unicorn on his horn, causing him to screech in pain.
In short, none of them heeded his words.
This infuriated the King, and he grasped them all in his magical hold and teleported to the dungeon, after which he chucked them all into it.
"No more drinks for any of you! " After decreeing that, he slammed the cell door shut and teleported away, leaving them to fall asleep and hopefully not cause any more...trouble.
"Seriously," muttered King Sombra as he began walking back to his bedroom, "those three behave worse than little children."
"Sombra… I can stay here with you to give you even more protection!"
King Sombra sighed as he took part in a seemingly never ending, illogical argument with Radiant Hope. After locking the drunk bastards in their place, he had returned to his bedroom only to find the aforementioned mare making herself comfortable in his bed.
" Radiant, no means no. I do not sleep with anyone near me, and I will never. Out. "
"But-"
"Out!"
The mare frowns and walks out. "T-there's no need to shout…"
Once she's out, he breathes a sigh of relief, casts a quick cleaning spell on his bed (who knows what she might have put there) and gets into the bed.
He then tucks himself under the covers, and closes his eyes.
The guards were all positioned around the exterior of his room, holding their spears in preparation to behead anyone who dared make a sound while the King attempted to sleep…
Despite the guards who had encountered no noise making citizen, despite the soundproof spell that Radiant Hope had placed on his door, so that if anyone had made a sound, he wouldn't hear it, and despite his best efforts to sleep, the King had been tossing and turning throughout the night, unable to sleep as worry began to settle in for the upcoming speech.
"Why am I worrying? I don't need to learn any speech. I'm the King. Whatever I say is all they need to hear. But I can't make myself look like a fool either. Now, what was the speech supposed to be about…? "
No matter how much he tried, he could not recall the speech, and groaned. "Well…" he said slowly , deep in thought. "The speech is tomorrow, on the- Wait, what's the date?"
The King levitates a calendar over and gasps. "The first of April?! Are they trying to make a fool of me?! Well, now I don't need to give a speech at all because that date is simply cursed!"
A grin stretches across the King's face. "I can't sleep, and since I don't need to give a speech, I can teach those fools a lesson so intense that they'll never get drunk again! Not without my permission...that is… "
Aerion, Comet and Monoceros were sleeping peacefully after having thrown up several times. Aerion was dreaming of a land with sentient donuts, and was getting to the best part when the slamming open of the dungeon door woke him up.
King Sombra stood there with a huge, sadistic grin on his face.
Aerion screamed.
The following morning, the citizens of the Crystal Empire gathered in front of Castle Sombra to hear the speech that had been scheduled.
Half an hour passed without the King appearing, and the crowd began to grumble.
"I knew it was a joke…"
"Is His Majesty even coming?"
" Are you sure it was today? "
Radiant Hope sighed and ran back into the Castle. "He probably didn't sleep like I told him to…"
She heard screams coming from the dungeon, and after heading there, saw that Sombra was very much awake.
She would've lectured him on how he shouldn't be inside because there was a crowd outside, but after seeing Aerion hanging from the ceiling with donuts stuffed in his mouth, she decided it was best not to and just left.
I don't want that to happen to me...