Jessica stepped out of the secret farm bunker and smiled as she felt the sun on her face. It was good to be back. Returning to Earth took considerably less time than getting to Jeg’galla’gamp’pi, but Jessica wasn’t going to complain that the travel time back was shorter than expected.
The others were with her. Ulga, Phobia, Rosetta, Russell, Patches, and Moses were all there to greet them as they stepped out of the bunker.
Rebecca went zooming through the air towards her husband, crashed straight into his chest, brought them both down to the ground, and proceeded to rain kisses down on his face.
“If you’re happy and you know it, kiss your man!” Rebecca sang, then gave Russell two quick smooches. “If you’re happy and you know it, kiss your man!” She kissed him twice more. “If you’re happy and you know it, your flagging tail will surely show it. If you’re happy and you know it—find a room and get him to mount you!”
Okay,…not exactly musical genius.
Ulga immediately instructed Moses and Patches to make themselves scarce, maybe afraid that Rebecca and Russell would do it right there. With Rebecca, you could never know what to expect. The two foals promptly left. Phobia leaned over and whispered to Rosetta. Jessica blinked at what she heard. So did Rosetta.
“Now?!” Rosetta asked in shock. Phobia nodded. Rosetta gave Charlotte an apologetic look. “Sorry, Mija. I meant to listen to you about your trip, but you know I have to take my opportunities when possible. Come on, Phobia, I’m sure Ulga has a spare room.”
The pair of night ponies hurried off towards the farmhouse.
Ashley stared at their retreating forms. “What was that about?”
“You don’t want to know,” Jessica answered…or didn’t answer, as it was.
“My mothers are going to go screw,” Charlotte said flatly. “Mom is practically asexual, and she has standing orders from Mama to tell her right away if she has any urges to have sex. Since it so rarely comes up, when it does, Mama all but drags Mom off to the bedroom immediately. If she waits, the urge could pass and might not come again for months or possibly even a year or more.”
Ashley snorted. “Okay, Jess was right. I didn’t want to know.”
Rebecca giggled. “Sounds like a good idea to me. Come on, Babe!” She started headbutting her husband to get him to move. Russell laughed but did not object to her prompting.
Jessica rolled her eyes as Russell picked Rebecca up and carried her to the farmhouse.
“Dreamwardens have no shame,” Terrence observed.
“They do. It just depends on what you want to shame them about. I’m the expert, believe me,” Charlotte said with a yawn, then glared at the human. “And show some respect to officials, soldier! You are a representative of the US Army!”
“Sorry, sir,” Terrence said quickly. He then asked. “But speaking frankly, and as Dreamwarden Phobia Remedy as an individual who is your parent. Doesn’t the idea that your parents are running off to do that gross you out, sir? Or does it bother you that they are going to do that rather than see how your trip went?”
Charlotte stretched her wings and then folded them to her sides. “Not really. They rarely do it, and it makes them happy. It isn’t like my mom wasn’t monitoring the trip through the Marshmallow anyway. You two are free to do what you wish until you are to report back to base. Dismissed.”
“Yes, sir!” Terrence and Smiley said in unison and took off towards the farmhouse.
Jessica grunted. “Not exactly how I pictured our return. I expected some sort of debriefing or something. When do I go home?”
“I’ll be taking you back to Wabash Manor, but it shall be a few hours before I do,” Luna said as she yawned as well and squinted as she glanced at the sunny sky. “This trip already disrupted my sleep schedule, and while I normally don't grow weary from magic use, the teleports to the far reaches of this universe require far more than I am accustomed to using. Even moving the moon requires less magic. I require a nap to refresh myself.”
Charlotte nudged Jessica’s leg as Luna became the latest to take the popular choice of wandering off towards the farmhouse. “I’m not due to report back to base until tomorrow evening. Do you want to come with me to meet my new niece? I do want to see her, and while I don’t care about my sister stressing about my absence on its own, she might have been making life difficult for others because of it, and seeing me again would calm her down for their sakes.”
“I’m not sure I’m eager to listen to you and your sister fight,” Jessica replied.
Charlotte chuckled. “Arachne won’t fight me. We’re normally closely matched. I win some; she wins some. However, she’s still recovering from her pregnancy. Arachne fighting me when she isn’t in her best condition would only lead to me easily trouncing her. Arachne wouldn’t risk the shame of looking completely outmatched. It would mean being second best. She’d never stand for that.”
Jessica curled an eyebrow at her friend. “I meant yelling. I didn't mean you physically fighting each other. Although, I should’ve guessed.”
“She might yell at me. She may even slap me since she told me she would, but she isn’t going to get so bad,” Charlotte assured her. “She and I already had a…discussion…via the dream realm. She got most of it out of her system there. You said you might have a date coming up. Much as I loathe advising anyone to go to my sister for advice, she does know more about getting all dolled up for a special occasion than anyone I know. She might be helpful. I don’t do dating, but you’re one of my oldest friends, and I want it to go well for you. If I wanted advice on that kind of thing, I’d swallow my pride and ask her.”
Jessica bit her lip. “Do I need it? I mean, am I not good enough as is?”
Ashley laughed. “Sorry to eavesdrop or laugh, but it doesn’t matter if you are good enough as is. Technically, the guy already thinks you’re good enough if he decided to go on a date with you, so that’s just stupid to ask. You getting all prettied up is meant to entice him further. It also means you’re showing you actually care about the date. If you show up to a date without putting any extra effort into your appearance, even a little, it shows you aren’t really that invested in it. That sends the signal you aren’t really interested in him, which starts you out the gate on the wrong foot. Some ponies can get away with not putting an extra effort in. Rebecca never did, but with humans, it is part of the courtship ritual….um I’m assuming it’s a human you are going on a date with and a guy. I hadn’t asked. Forgive me if I made too many assumptions.”
“Yeah, he’s very much human,” Jessica confirmed. “Okay, I’ll go with you to see Arachne. It’s always best to ask an expert about things. I want to see the baby anyway.”
Charlotte looked at the blond Earth pony across the way. “Hey, Ulga, does the farm have a pony car I can borrow? I promise to bring it back in a few hours.”
Ulga shook her head. “No, but we have human ones. One of the farmhands can give you a ride wherever you wish. Provided it is in the city or very close by. Any further and Moses’s power won’t work to keep the farmhand active.”
“That works,” Charlotte said.
“Is it okay for them to go into town?” Jessica asked skeptically.
Ulga nodded. “They drive very safely, and if anything happens, they’ve got a contact for Dreamwarden Phobia Remedy for her to resolve the issue, for she has considerable influence over much in Skytree. Only Wild Growth is more honored. They go to pick up orders for the farm from time to time, and they drive Moses to school. I certainly cannot drive. My hearing and smell may be excellent, but they aren’t enough to compensate for my lack of vision.”
“We definitely don’t want blind ponies driving,” Ashley agreed.
“Although it would be awe-inspiring if she could,” Jonathan decided to chime in. “I think you and I should head to the local OMMR office to report. It's time for me to get back to nominally directing OMMR all affairs. There are a few operations in progress that I want to get status updates for.”
Ashley flicked her tail. “Whatever you say. Charlotte, will you be good without us here to give you a ride?”
Charlotte spread her tattooed wings. “Do these look broken? I’ll be fine. I’ll fly somewhere close to the airport and walk the rest of the way when it comes time to go.”
“Ulga, can you have the farmhands begin unloading the ship?” Jonathan asked.
“Yes, I’ll make sure everything is secure and that everyone’s personal belongings are brought to the house,” Ulga replied. She then walked towards the bunker, where one of the zombie farmhands touched a hand to her back, perhaps to help guide her.
“You said nominally directing,” Jessica said to Jonathan. “Do the Dreamwardens actually do everything?”
“They make all major decisions and give guidance on what they want us doing, but I do supervise things to make sure those things happen. I’m not a complete figurehead,” Jonathan answered. “Consider me the top end of middle-management. They give me orders; I direct others to fulfill those orders, as well as help deal with a lot of the more mundane tasks.”
“When the Warden of Order isn’t doing it instead,” Charlotte said with a snort. “You guys like to keep him in the background without talking about him much, but I know he has a lot of influence on the day-to-day operations of the OMMR.”
“Not as much as of late,” Jonathan corrected. “His impending retirement has been his primary focus. He has personal affairs to get in order before he goes. He is also the primary one monitoring the current batch of candidates to replace him, much like Phobia Remedy had done when the last batch went through and Krik for the batch before that. The closest local Dreamwarden to the candidates normally deals with most of the waking world things involved in succession, even if the others are monitoring the candidates' progress from afar. That reminds me, I need to follow up on the arrangements for Phobia and Rebecca to travel to visit the candidates in person.”
“Busy, busy, busy,” Ashley said before fluttering her lips. “Let’s make sure Rebecca doesn’t go sneaking any contraband across borders this time around. I don’t know how she always manages to do it. I sometimes wonder if it is a game to her. At some point, someone will take major issues with it.”
“Rebecca has always been lax about following rules and had very loose interpretations of rules when she does. At least she literally can’t break her Oaths and isn’t malicious like Sha’am was,” Jonathan said with a sigh. “Oh, we need to process the paperwork on Josie’s most recent fine from when Rebecca told her to flat-out break a regulation. If I were Josie, I’d have Rebecca start paying these fines for her.”
“I’d normally tell you it isn’t a good idea to discuss this around me since I’m on the counter-Dreamwarden task force, but I already knew the flubber-gut was fast and loose with rules,” Charlotte said dryly.
Jonathan shrugged. “The Dreamwardens need a variety of personalities, that includes mavericks who don’t see things as strictly as the rest. The goal is not to be monolithic but to have differing points of view. It keeps them flexible to face different types of situations, allows them to more adequately find a Dreamwarden who can fit a dreamer's needs—as not every Dreamwarden is a good fit to aid every dreamer experiencing problems, and it also keeps any single one from dominating the group. Rebecca being fast and loose with the rules is as important as Arbiter being a regular tyrant when it comes to rules.”
“It's ironic that someone who stood trial before the Dreamwardens ended up becoming the current most strict about following the rules after becoming a Dreamwarden,” Ashley said with a chuckle.
Jessica rubbed her arms. “Let’s stop discussing Dreamwardens. I’m glad I’m finally done dealing with them after today.”
“You’re getting into the dating world. You should expect a visit from Yinyu. She can never resist suggesting what you can do if things progress,” Jonathan replied, then adjusted his glasses. “Still, we need to get a move on. Good speaking with you, Doctor Middleton.”
Jonathan walked away with Ashley hot on his heels.
“He’s right. Yinyu will try at least once,” Charlotte said. “I say, let her go through her full explanation, probably with explicit visuals, and then tell her thank you for her time, but you can figure the rest out on your own. Her services are no longer needed. She’ll leave you be after that.”
Jessica blushed at what kinds of visuals Yinyu might provide. She’d already endured Yinyu’s initial sex education dream when she was younger, including the infamous song and dance. What she might get in a sex ed class in high school, minus the jubilant singing about fallopian tubes, urethras, and gonads that made her want to cringe. That hadn’t been too graphic, at least in terms of pornographic content. Still, it had a very uncomfortable and detailed biological explanations and verbal descriptions of how things work. Yet somehow, listening to all that stuff and seeing the visuals had made her feel sick to her stomach, even in a dream. Was that a typical reaction to exposure to that kind of material? She didn’t know. It wasn’t a subject she discussed with others, even close friends or family. Now that she was an adult, she expected Yinyu would get much more detailed. Would her reaction be worse?
She took a deep breath. She was an adult. She could endure one dream.
“Come along,” Charlotte instructed as she headed towards the farmhouse. “Any of the farmhands should be able to direct us to the car.”
“I could have driven it,” Jessica said as she followed.
“You could have spoken up,” Charlotte replied. “Plus, they don’t know you like they know me. Would you loan your car out to a stranger?”
*I suppose not,” Jessica conceded. She looked at Charlotte’s wings. “Did getting those hurt?”
“Along the membrane, no, but close to the bone, that hurt like hell,” Charlotte answered. “Why do you ask? Thinking of getting a tattoo?”
Jessica rubbed her arm. “I met a rehumanized woman who the process left with more pony features than is typical. She had gotten a tattoo of what she thought her cutie mark might have been. It might sound silly, it’s illogical, but the idea appealed to me–kind of a way of asserting who I am.”
“Woooo, getting a little wild and getting a tattoo,” Charlotte cooed. “I like the idea. It kinda pays homage to who you were while still being who you are. We shouldn’t try to live in the past, or glamorize the past, because the past is often shittier than we remember, but we should remember it.” She spotted a woman farmhand and waved a wing. “Hey, you, Ulga said one of you could give us a ride where we needed to go.”
The zombie woman nodded. “This one can drive you.”
“Great. What’s your name?” Charlotte asked.
“This one is The Fifth Morning After The Ninth Moon,” the woman answered.
“Very…timekeepery. Was that when you were born?” Charlotte asked.
“No,” the woman said flatly.
“Okay…why that?” Charlotte asked.
“Because this one’s sibling was Twelfth After Forth Sunrise.”
“I think we have some sort of cultural disconnect here,” Charlotte said.
“It would seem so,” the zombie agreed. “Shall we board the vehicle now, or do you wish to delay?”
“Sorry, now would be fine,” Jessica cut in. “It’s a very nice name.”
“It is just a name,” the zombie replied. “Follow us.”
Zombies were clearly not all as sociable as Patches.
Zipper watched several grey threshers pecking for seeds near a nearby bush. He wasn’t sure where they’d be nesting or why they were this far from any notable tree growth. This particular area was scrubland, not an ideal location for that type of bird. Bird populations had been expanding everywhere; perhaps their regular territory’s population had grown too large and was now looking for new areas.
He took a sip from his canteen. They were stopped while they let the solar cell on the van recharge. They’d been traveling offroad for a long time, and it was much slower going than traveling by road and more taxing on the vehicle’s power. His companions seemed to have anticipated this, and they were not significantly bothered by it. Crystal was doing routine maintenance on the van–airing up the tired, checking fluids, that sort of thing. She’d had him on top of the van wiping down the solar panels daily since they kicked up a lot of dust and dirt traveling the way they were, and keeping the panels clean meant they worked better. Tempest and Blanche we're standing a short distance away, discussing something or other in private. Josie was asleep inside the van since it was extremely bright and sunny outside. Arturo sat with Zipper at their small makeshift camp, eating some sort of salted meat.
“What are the birds saying?”
Zipper jumped, startled that Arturo had said something in English. He’d said little all trip, and what he had spoken to this point had been in Russian.
“You ask the help a question in English, but you won’t say anything in English to me?!” Crystal yelled in outrage.
“Tupoy poni!” Arturo yelled at her, then laughed. He looked at Zipper again. “What do the birds say?”
Zipper looked at the threshers. “They aren’t saying anything. Threshers aren’t the smartest birds on their own, unlike crows, ravens, or birds of prey. They have a kind of hive intelligence when you get a bunch of them together, but there aren’t enough of them over there for that. They’re looking for food, judging if this is a suitable place for the main flock to come to.”
“They are scouts,” Arturo stated.
“I suppose that’s one way of looking at it,” Zipper confirmed with a nod.
“If we find the flock, will flock be able to say how many guards at the base?”
Zipper shook his head. “They don’t have a concept of numbers like that, at least, these ones don’t–some other types are better at it. Their understanding of numbers is basically there’s one, there’s two, then there’s more than two. They can’t tell the difference between five and fifty; it’s all just more than two. They couldn’t even tell how many birds are in their flock, although they can tell if they are missing some.”
“Birds not too smart, like crystal pony,” Arturo observed.
“Hey!” Crystal objected. She stomped and then yelped as she lost her balance and fell off the van. “Ow!”
“Tupoy poni,” Arturo muttered.
Zipper stood up and walked towards Crystal. “Are you okay?”
Crystal waved him off. “I might be named Crystal and may be a crystal pony, but I’m not made of crystal. I’m fine.”
“If you say so,” Zipper said, retreating to his spot.
“How will birds help us if can’t count?” Arturo asked, seeming completely uninterested whether Crystal was injured or not.
“I’ve got a little camera that I can attach to a bird, and we can get a bird’s eye view with it,” Zipper explained. “It’s very tiny. Nobody will be able to tell the bird is wearing it from a distance.”
“And bird will let you put camera on them?” Arturo asked, sounding skeptical.
“If I’m nice to it and make friends,” Zipper said with a smile.
Arturo stared for a minute, then shook his head. “This is dumb plan.”
Zipper wasn’t very happy about having his role called stupid, even if he wasn’t sure himself how much help he was going to be. “Well, can you tell me why it’s taking so long for us to get where we are going? We follow your directions, but you’ve had us zigging and zagging all over the place.”
“Tracking trails, trails not go straight,” Arturo explained. “Partials ran from place years ago. Not know which way to go. Near death from exhaustion when they reach Denver, one die along way, other not long after arriving, but deliver baby into care of old woman first. They wander in desert for long time. We follow trail as they walked it. We arrive at start, eventually.”
Zipper’s ears sagged. “They died making this trip? How? Illegal immigrants make the trip all the time.”
“Human and pony immigrants bring more supplies. Human and pony immigrants can walk right, not with bad gait. Take partials longer to walk, with less food or water. Very bad for them,” Arturo said, then took a sip of his water.
That was so sad. If there was a baby, they probably gave more of their food and water to it, leaving less for themselves when they were already short on what they needed. He very vaguely remembered parts of his transformation, and he did recall that during the late stages, when his body was trying to shift towards being a quadruped from a biped that moving from place to place was very difficult and slow. The idea of trying to travel cross-country like that in the burning heat with little to drink or eat was insane, practically suicide, especially if they didn’t have a clear idea of what path to follow. How bad was the place they were running from to drive them to attempt that?
“How much longer do we have to travel?” Zipper asked.
Arturo shrugged. “We get there when we get there.”
“Soon, within the next day or two,” Tempest said as she and Blanche walked over. “We have seen tire tracks, and there’s no known settlement nearby. It is likely connected to where we are going. We shall camp here for the night, and Josie can do some scouting.”
“If she can scout, why do you need me and the birds?” Zipper asked
“She only dares get so close to the base once locating it,” Blanche explained. “We know they have crystal ponies, and if she gets too close, they’ll spot her, even if she’s shadowmelded. A pony of Josie’s power stands out like a beacon to crystal ponies–shadowmelding might make her stand out even more to them. We need more detailed information on their numbers, base layout, etc. All these things require a closer look than Josie can get from a safe distance. We’re counting on them ignoring birds.”
“They aren’t going to hurt the birds, are they?” Zipper asked with worry.
“I doubt they will give the birds a second glance,” Blanche said.
“And what do we do once we have the information? Do we head back and call the authorities?” Zipper asked.
Tempest shook her head. “Law enforcement will not come. Once we have the information on the base layout, the number of guards, and where they are located, we make a plan of attack. When we attack, you’ll stay in the van. You shall not want to see what happens, and we do not need the distraction of guarding you. This will be bloody, brutal, and with luck, we will suffer no casualties among us or the prisoners.”
“Hopefully, we can take one or two of the guards prisoner to get information from them,” Blanche said. “It depends on how difficult they make this. It’s easier to land killing blows with certainty than blows that are sure will incapacitate them enough that we don’t have to worry about some half-dazed guard we thought was out for the count shooting us in the back. I’ve had that happen far too many times not to have learned my lesson.”
“You just keep out of sight and out of the way,” Tempest reiterated.
Zipper felt sick to his stomach.