//------------------------------//
// Tristessa 
// Story: Strange New World 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

Lake could’ve kissed Sapphire, it was such great news to hear. He was honestly starting to think that nothing would continue to happen for weeks or months more. It had already been almost one month. Why would a one in a billion chance portal decide to return for a second time?
Well, he wouldn't have actually kissed Sapphire Glow. That was a direction Tory seemed headed if he wasn't careful. Or maybe he didn't care. It might have been fun for him to joke around with the mare, but Lake couldn't exactly say he was confident Sapphire Glow would be chill if she had her heart broken. Plus, she was a horse. He figured that would be reason enough for Tory to take a firm step back, but apparently not.
He wasn't pining after his friend or anything, no way.
But it wouldn't matter soon either way, if Sapphire Glow was right. There was a way back to Earth! And even better, it was in the same spot as before, Lilac Beauty's house! This could all be over right now! At least, the part where they were trapped on Equus. He was sure there were gonna be thousands of interviews taking place afterward. Nerve wracking, but exciting! Better than staying here forever.
“Calm down now guys,” Roxanne said before anyone could respond to the news. “It's not gonna be as easy as all that. We still have to get in there, and last I checked, we weren't allowed within a hundred feet of the place.”
Yeah. That. That might be a slight issue.
“I’m sure if we talk to her, she’ll understand,” Lake said hopefully. “Especially if the portal is back. I’m sure she’d understand and let us in her house.”
“Or she’d call the police on us,” Tory shot back. “Since we’re not allowed to be there? We’d just get arrested again.”
“We’re probably gonna have to sneak in,” Sapphire Glow said. “I have a teleportation spell that’ll get us in there though. And if Roxie disguises herself as Lilac Beauty, we’d probably be able to get away with it.”
“We should probably come up with a plan in that case,” Roxanne said. “If you could teleport us in, or if Lake learned how to fly, we could unlock the door somehow. If she thought her house was broken into twice, she’d probably up her security. That’s what I’d do.”
“Or we could talk to her,” Lake said again. “Seriously, why wouldn’t we just ask?”
“Because you’re being naive, Lake,” Roxanne told her. “I felt her emotions when we first showed up here. She’s gonna be angry if we knock on her door and will just call the police.”
“And she won’t call the police if we break in?” Lake asked incredulously. “What would we do if we got in there and she spotted us? It seems just unnecessarily risky for no reason.”
“Unnecessarily risky is knocking on her door when she doesn’t believe us and doesn’t want us there and we already have an order to keep away from the place, Lake.”
“That doesn’t– you’re being– Tory, what do you think?” he asked. “I’m right, right?”
Tory sighed. Lake knew what that meant, but listened anyway. “It’s probably gonna be better for us if we don’t talk to her,” he said. “If we were the only ones who she thought broke in, that would be one thing, but because Sapphire Glow was in there, it won’t be good to let her see us again at all.”
Were Lake’s friends holding the idiot ball? Or was he just overthinking it and being an anxious mess like usual? He had a feeling this time it was the former. Breaking into a house when—if the portal really was there—they could prove to her that they were telling the truth was outrageous!
“We’re not being stupid, Lake,” Roxanne said seriously. “Talking to that old mare is a bad plan. But if you’re really that worried about it, we can scout it out for you before you follow after us if you want.”
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I was just offering a suggestion.” Whatever. He wasn’t gonna argue the point, not right now anyway. If he got home, he wouldn’t care either way what had to be done. Within reason, of course.
“We should probably–”
“Hey, you three!” one of the officers supervising their volunteer work called. “Get back to work, or you’re not gonna get your hours! And you, Sapphire, don’t think I’m marking you down today when you only just showed up!”
But first they’d finish their four hours for today, just in case. If the portal really had reappeared in Lilac Beauty’s house, a couple more hours wouldn’t make a difference. Thankfully, there were no arguments with him about that idea.
It was around noon when they finally finished volunteer hours for the day, ignoring lunch this time as they moved toward downtown where the house was. Once he got back to Earth, Lake was gonna have a burger and fries to make up for all the meat he'd been missing for almost the last month, along with fifty milligrams of sertraline. That would make him feel better.
Tory asked the obvious questions as they stepped through downtown toward the house. “How did you find out about the portal in her house reappearing? Were you scouting it out?”
“Of course I was! I’m a scientist!” Sapphire Glow put a hoof on her chest like she was offended. Lake couldn’t tell if she actually was or not. “I haven’t just been sitting on my haunches, I’ll have you know! In fact, I was about to leave for the day to prepare for the Humans in Equestria club meeting this week when I felt it! A burst of magical energy hit me, and it came from inside! It was kind of subtle, so I’m sure not many unicorns picked up on it, but I definitely felt it! It was the exact same as when I felt it the first time from Lilac Beauty’s house!” She turned to Roxanne and said, “You might be able to feel it, too, once we get there, since changelings have horns for magic. It’ll feel kind of like a pulsating wave.”
“I’ll watch out for that. Wouldn’t wanna feel pulsating magic in public,” she joked. “Tory might start hitting on me, next. We wouldn't want that, would we?” She glanced at Lake, and gave him an expression that said it all. He tried not to feel so embarrassed. At least Tory was oblivious. He only shook his head and continued forward.
Oh yeah, she was definitely teasing him. It was obvious what the idea behind her changing into one of the stallions they passed by was. He quickly trotted up to walk beside Sapphire Glow and not look at all of that. If she really could read his mind, then she should know he really didn't want to be teased like that specifically. He was certainly thinking about how he didn't like it.
“I have to keep changing,” she said to no one in particular, although almost certainly directing it Lake's way. “It gets uncomfortable staying as one thing for too long. I didn't shapeshift for almost a week.” Yeah, of course. What a great coincidence.
It wasn't long before they stepped up to the house, Roxanne adding a horn to her new figure to become a unicorn. “I don't feel anything,” she declared. “No pulse or whatever you said it was.” The group stood a good distance away from the home, wanting to make sure they kept their distance, lest Lilac Beauty be wandering around.
“Oh, it's definitely there,” Sapphire Glow assured her. “It's even stronger than it was a few hours ago, but it's subtle. You have to pay attention.”
“Well while Roxie pays attention, what do we do?” Tory asked. “If the portal is really here again, we obviously have to get back in there. You said you can teleport us inside?”
“Pretty easily,” Sapphire nodded, “since it's such a short distance. There's no way for me to be able to tell where Lilac Beauty is though. We could appear right in front of her if we're really unlucky.”
“I don't think she's in there,” Roxanne said as she looked around between the house and the street they stood on. “I can't be sure though. There's too many ponies out here to tell. It might be easier if we came back at night. Or if Lake could fly and see through the windows.”
All three of them looked his way expectantly. Lake shuffled his wings awkwardly as he shifted his weight around. “I made known what I think we should do,” he said defensively.
“And we told you that it’s not a good idea,” Roxanne said impatiently.
“It's not like I know how to fly,” he continued anxiously. “Like, I'll obviously learn if need be, but…” He sighed deeply, then let out his nervous breath. Then, before she or someone else could talk him out of it, Lake stole himself and trotted forward up to the door. Before he knocked though, he turned back around and asked a question.
“They're not gonna arrest us for trying to talk to her, will they, Sapphire? Because if not, then—”
“Me? They probably would,” she called. “I think for you though you'd just get a warning and have to appear in court again. Probation is the most likely.” 
As she said it, Roxanne rolled her eyes at him and Tory shrugged indifferently. “If you're too nervous, you can go ahead. I don't think it's gonna work though.”
“And it's probably gonna make things harder,” Lake could hear Roxanne mutter, even from so far away. Whatever. Two out of three people's approval was good enough.
Not as hard as it's gonna be to get in trouble for breaking in again, he thought to himself as he knocked firmly on the door, then took a step back to give space. No turning back now.
The mare must have been in her living room, because Lake immediately heard hoof steps approaching the door. A few seconds later, the thing swung open, revealing Lilac Beauty. Her expression quickly changed from neutral to an angry scowl once she saw it was him and his friends.
She didn't hesitate. “If you don't get from within a hundred feet of my property right now, I'm gonna message the police and press charges for trespassing!” This was going swell already. He might not have been able to read minds, but he could imagine what Roxanne was thinking.
He didn’t focus on that though, and instead pushed ahead, doing his best not to roll his neck or shiver anxiously. “We wanted to stop by and tell you that we’re very sorry for entering your home without permission, ma’am.”
“Oh, are you?” she asked sarcastically. “Maybe you might be, but your friends behind you don’t look very sorry. And how can you apologize when you’re coming up to my house after the judge told you not to?”
She raised an eyebrow and waited for an answer. Lake opened and closed his mouth a few times, but after a few seconds of him not speaking, she continued. 
“I bet you think I’m an idiot, too. I know you just want to get into my house again so you can find whatever fantasy game you foals are trying to play. I’ve been around for many more moons than you have, guy. I’m not gonna be tricked with an apology.”
He couldn’t help shifting around on his hooves. This was stressing him out. The only good thing was she was still talking and didn’t immediately go to call the police. If he could find the right way to get across to her that she should let them inside, this would work. 
“We’re not—” He stopped before he got too much out. The way she was staring at him, she wasn’t gonna wanna hear about how they weren’t trying to trick her, even if they weren’t. Lake took a breath and glanced back to his friends, noticing Roxanne giving him a slightly hopeful look. It gave him the confidence he needed to speak again.
“We really are sorry for being in your home, Miss Beauty,” he told her, “but we also really would like to see inside of it. It’s very important to us. We really need to get home, and we think the closet in your house will help us get there. Please.” Short and direct, with no admission or rejection of guilt. He hoped it was enough to get through to her.
The mare glanced back into her house, then behind Lake to his friends. She bit her lip and rubbed a hoof against the ground before finally deciding, “I’ll let you come in and look around, guy. Not your friends though, since they didn’t have the guts to come up to me and apologize like you did.”
“Thank you!” Lake shouted excitedly. No surprise to Lake that she understood when he explained it to her. It was a bit of an issue that she'd only let him go inside, but one thing at a time. He was certain that if the portal was there like Sapphire Glow said, Lilac Beauty would let them all go through it.
He turned around and flashed a wide, superior grin to the group, getting one back from Tory and a reluctant, embarrassed grin from Roxanne. He'd have something to tease her about in a few minutes, once this was all over.
He didn't expect it, but he wasn't surprised when Sapphire Glow complained and stomped a hoof on the ground in frustration.
“What about us?” she called, exasperated. “You're just gonna make us stand out here? I'm a scientist! It's my right to take a look around! I'm working for the betterment of Equestria and all of ponykind!” Lake hadn't heard entitlement like that from her before, but it seemed in line with her character. She sounded like an upset five year old.
“You're lucky I'm letting your friend here work for the ‘betterment of ponykind’ with an attitude like that,” Lilac Beauty shot back. “You'd be the last pony I'd invite inside!”
“But–”
Lake watched Tory put a hoof on her shoulder and whisper something to calm her down. Then he turned to face Lilac Beauty again. “Can I come in, please?”
She actually seemed more at ease with the question. “Follow me,” the mare told him.
He walked through the familiar building silently, following behind the older mare as they went upstairs and into the main room they originally arrived in. No surprise that it looked almost exactly the same now as it did three weeks ago. The only difference was four metal bars that went from the floor to the ceiling in each corner of the room.
“Magic sensors,” she explained as Lake looked around. “To keep ponies like you and your friends from breaking in again. Two times is two times too many.” Then she told him, “Go ahead and see whatever you need to see so you can be on your way. Just don’t touch anything.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it,” he told her again before he started forward. He headed immediately for the closet, not having any better idea of where else he would look. Sapphire Glow said it should’ve been in the same place, and Lake couldn’t see why she would be wrong.
Except for the fact that it disappeared a few minutes after they went through it last time. It could already be gone.
“Please let it be there,” he whispered to himself, eyes closed as he rested a wing on the doorknob. “Please, God or the universe or anyone out there who’s listening, please let the portal be here.” Then he rolled his neck, took a breath, and opened the closet door.
“What the hell!”
“Yes!” Lake shouted excitedly, doing a little jump in the air and clicking his hooves together. The universe clearly listened to him.
“It’s here!” he said as he faced the blank, infinite black wall, a wide grin plastered on his face. “I knew it would be here, and it is! Fuck, yes!” Against all odds, Sapphire Glow was right! The portal was actually back! They were gonna be going home soon!
“What in Celestia’s name is going on here?” Lilac Beauty demanded. “What happened to my wall?”
“This is the portal we were telling you about, the one that we came through! Can you go get my friends from outside, please? They're gonna wanna see this!” Lake was more excited than he had been in a long while, and so was Lilac Beauty, because she did what she asked without hesitation, leaving him alone. Lake took the moment to step through the thing, back into his apartment. He hoped his stuff was still there and that rent wasn't due yet.
Lake Cleaver didn't find his apartment. All of his excitement disappeared in an instant when he saw what was on the other side.
“Oh, fuck, he whispered to himself as he pushed the rest of his body through, taking in the scene. It was the last one he wanted to see.
The air was thin, and cold. It was probably under ten degrees out here, and snow covered the ground where he stood. He had no clothes on, a fact that made him remember all of the modesty he was getting used to going without for the last few weeks. It was okay for right now while he was alone, but he'd be around his friends pretty soon, and the thought of that made him anxious.
But much more pressing than that was the snow capped mountain he now stood on. He shivered as the wind whipped around him. Being out here with no clothes and getting anywhere was suicide. He only took another second to survey the scene, then a particularly bad bite of wind made him pull himself back through the portal. It was too cold to stay out there unprotected.
Lake didn't have time to realize his heart was beating hard and fast and his breathing was quickening its pace when his friends showed up. Sapphire Glow had an excited look on her face and wasted no time in stepping right through as Roxanne and Tory came up to him. Both had smiles on their faces, at least until they saw his anxious look.
“Why aren't you in there already?” Tory asked immediately as Roxanne quickly stepped through. Lake didn't speak, only shook his head and placed his face in a wing. What the heck was there to say anyway?
Tory didn’t step across fully, but did poke his head through to get a look around, just like Lake did when he first looked at Equestria. Lake shuffled back and forth on his hooves as Lilac Beauty went off somewhere else before his friend finally pulled back. He turned to look at him, eyes just as wild now as they were when he first turned into a horse. He couldn’t blame him.
“Where is your apartment, Lake?” Tory asked seriously, shakily, blinking back at him. Lake still had no response, and instead gave a tense shrug and shook his head again, stretching his wings out with an expression that was fearful. His breathing picked up further, and his chest started to hurt. This shouldn’t have been happening.
Tory stepped through fully as Lilac Beauty came back and touched Lake's shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asked. “What in Equestria is going on with my closet? That wasn't there before!”
Another shake of his head, and Lake finally spoke. “I don't think I'm okay,” he said. He answered one of her questions at least. This was almost worse than being trapped on Equus.
“What's going on though?” Lilac Beauty pressed. “Where does that portal lead to?” Lake ignored her this time, and quickly stepped back through her closet. He hoped he'd get his apartment this time.
He knew it was a foolish hope, the confirmation of such coming when more icy cold wind bit at his unprotected skin. He felt lightheaded, nauseous at just the idea of what he saw. Why didn't it take them back to his apartment?
“Whoa, Earth is colder than I expected,” Sapphire Glow said from where she stood. She had dark skin now and brown hair that went to her shoulders, and stood shorter than Roxanne by about an inch or two. She was naked, too, just like he and the rest of his friends were, but he wasn't particularly concerned about that at the moment. There were much more pressing things on his mind.
“You didn't tell me you hiked up a mountain to get here though,” Sapphire commented as she wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. “How could you stand something like this? It's colder than the Crystal Empire!”
“We didn't hike up here,” Tory explained worriedly. “We came here through Lake's apartment closet. This isn't where it was supposed to take us!”
“We don't even know where this is at, to be honest,” Roxanne continued for him, her voice more calm than the situation demanded. “It could be anywhere though. The Rockies, the Alps, Brooks Range in Alaska—anywhere.”
Lake's teeth were already chattering, although he couldn't be sure whether it was from anxiety or not. It was cold out here. Too cold to be standing around naked. Longer than a few minutes out here and they'd start to get frostbitten. He tried to bear it for just a little while, long enough to get a good look at everything.
There were no trails or ski lifts or light poles or any sort of permanent structures out here, although there might have been a small light in the distance. It was much too far for anyone to get to like this though, probably about three miles down if he was estimating correctly. The four of them stood in a small cave, gazing out at the mountain range all around them, one with other peaks far in the distance. It looked more like the Appalachians than the Rockies from what Lake could tell.
No sort of city or village or anything that could cause much light pollution stood out. Other than the small light far away, one that seemed like nothing more than a speck—probably just the moon reflecting off the snow—there was nothing useful to see. The only good thing it seemed was the clear night they were fortunate enough to be under. Lake shivered harder and his chest started to hurt more.
It didn't take long for their company to increase though. “What the heck is—woah! It's c-cold out here!” Lilac Beauty exclaimed as she stepped through the portal to join them. “What in Faust's name is going on? Why is this in my closet?” Hadn't Lake asked himself that the first time he saw Equestria?
“And what the heck did I turn into?” Lilac asked frightfully. “I'm not supposed to be this– this– this thing!”
“You're a human, Lilac!” Sapphire Glow said eagerly, much too cheerfully. “I told you and everypony else that humans exist! This is Earth!”
“Except we're definitely not in Pennsylvania,” Tory said, sounding as anxious as Lake always did as he ran fingers through his hair. “Why would it put us somewhere random like this? What happened to your apartment?” As though anyone knew the answer to that.
“I'm going back inside,” Lake said breathlessly, wasting no time to get himself back to warmth. A pony, he turned back into again, with the same orange coat and ruffled up wings as before. Still in Lilac Beauty's apartment. They'd found the portal to Earth that they needed. It was here. Except the middle of snow covered mountains were not what he wanted. Wasn't it supposed to be late September anyway? Then again, they had been here for close to a month.
He was still breathing fast and his chest still hurt as the other four of them made their way back through, chattering with nervous excitement. Lake barely heard it, caught up in his own emotions. What in the world were they supposed to do about mountains suddenly in the way? Ones that led to seemingly anywhere when they had no supplies or clothes or any idea of where they were going? Why was the universe acting like this?
He felt a sudden hoof touch his shoulder, and turned to see Roxanne's gaze piercing into his eyes. She had changed to look like a pegasus stallion he'd never seen, and wrapped a wing around his back as she spoke. Her look might have been serious, but the touch was more gentle than he thought his friend could ever muster.
When she spoke, her voice was assertive and firm. “We just need to take it one step at a time,” she said. “We've got a portal to Earth. That's practically half the problem solved right there. The rest will be easy. Just take a breath and calm down. You're about to have a panic attack.”
Everything she said was true. They had a way to Earth, which meant they had a way back home. That would be a lot easier than navigating the horse world had been in, he thought. The impossible magic they needed was there. He slowed his breathing and his heart calmed down as he let her words run through his head while Roxanne rubbed his back.
“I'm sorry,” he apologized shakily. “I know I'm stressing everyone out with my anxiety,” he said. “If that were my apartment, I'd have already taken my meds.”
“It's fine, Lake,” Roxanne assured him gently. “We don't blame you. Tory and I are here for you. And you did help us actually get back to Earth by talking to Lilac. You're okay.” She had a look of sympathy on her face as she said it. It helped.
He did his best to smile as he relaxed some of his muscles. “I mean, I'm a little bit not fine.” It was as much of a joke as he could muster. Roxanne smiled anyway.
He didn't know why she had to change into a random stallion to help him settle his nerves, but he chose not to think about it. Instead, he continued to breathe, before finally listening in and picking up on what the other three were talking about.
“—going and see Earth! It's not that cold outside,” Sapphire Glow was saying. “Ponies brave temperatures like that all the time without much protection!”
“Humans can't though!” Tory was on edge. Lake could hear it in his voice. “We'll die out there in less than an hour if we head out without protection! Trust me!” Roxanne shapeshifted into a mare again and moved over to touch his shoulder and rub his back with a wing. Tory pushed her away before she could though. “I'm fine!” he told her roughly. He definitely wasn't fine. It wasn't like him at all. Roxanne shot a look Lake's way.
“But what in Equestria’s name is a human anyway?” Lilac Beauty asked. “I've never heard of anything like that, and this is the first time some portal has shown up in my house!”
“The second time at least,” Sapphire Glow mumbled under her breath.
“Maybe I need to call the police again,” the old mare continued, “or message the Royal Guard. I don't know what's going on, but I don't like it one bit!”
Lake closed his eyes and kept track of his breathing, calming himself down as Tory became more worked up. He was anxious, obviously, but more than that, he was frustrated. No one could blame him.
“We're gonna need camping gear and winter clothes and who knows what else just to get anywhere, not that we have any idea of where the heck we are! This shouldn't be fucking happening! Why didn't it just go back to your apartment?”
Tory stomped a hoof in anger and clenched his jaw. Lake couldn't say he'd ever seen such an unhappy state from his friend. He took an uncomfortable step back while Roxanne sent another look his way. Only Sapphire Glow seemed to be oblivious to his anger.
“It’ll be fine,” she said with a grin, her voice way too nonchalant for the given situation. Tory didn’t push her away as she put a hoof on his shoulder and continued to speak. “Sure, you might not have magic, but that’s Earth! You have hands and long legs and technology that fills in for those things! Doesn’t Lake have a device that can contact people without magic anyway? Just use that!”
Why didn’t he think of that? He had his phone right in his wing with him! Lake wasted no time in heading back out, turning the thing back on as he instantly shifted into being a naked human once again. Man, was it cold, though.
He was glad for his conservative use of the device. His phone’s battery was still at forty-nine percent, hopefully enough for them to get to whatever town might be closest to their position. There was no cell service, unsurprisingly, but he still should’ve been getting GPS pings from satellites overhead as they orbited Earth. He let out a wispy breath into the cold air as his quickly numbing fingers fumbled to open the Google Maps app. Hopefully they weren't somewhere too far away, like Alaska. That would be an automatic no-go.
Lake stared down at his phone intently, waiting a few seconds for the GPS to find his location. When it did, he cringed at what he saw.
At least it’s better than Alaska, he thought. He wasn’t sure how much better it was though.