Roxanne Collins knew Sapphire Glow was lying. She didn't know exactly how she knew, or about what exactly; she just did.
It was a feeling she had. Nothing the horse said seemed unbelievable. In fact, the things she said made sense. How else could this pony know about humans and Earth if she wasn’t supposed to be one, too? Still, there was a sense of mistrust the unicorn had about her. It almost permeated the air.
“If you’re from Earth,” Roxanne asked quickly, “then how come that cop made it seem like you’d been here before?”
“Because I have been?” The unicorn tilted her head in confusion. “Apparently the cops don’t like it when you, according to them, ‘have a pattern of repeated criminal activity’. I just say that they—”
“What I mean is,” Roxanne interrupted suddenly, “if you’re from Earth, how long have you been here? How long have you been turned into a horse?”
"Pony," the pony corrected, then rubbed a hoof behind her head. "And uh… that's a tough question to answer," she said sheepishly. She didn't have to look over to Lake or Tory to know that respectively they were giving her confused and indignant looks. Roxanne shot one of the latter at the girl, and she continued, "I guess you could kind of call me a 'human by heart' if you will."
"Wait, are you a human or not? And if not, how do you know about Earth?" Tory asked the questions before Roxanne could. It was probably for the best anyway. She would've had more frustration in her voice than he did.
"Well, no," she started carefully, already sounding a little on the defensive side. "But I would totally wanna be one! Being able to walk on my hind legs and having hands would be cool! Like I said, I’m supposed to be one!" Sapphire glow smiled at the thought, then shook it out of her head a second later to continue.
"But I know about Earth because I'm part of the 'Humans in Equestria' club," she explained. "Not that any of us have ever seen a human in Equestria before, but we all knew they were out there somewhere. And now you're here!" she said excitedly as she clapped her forehooves. "Do you mind if I ask for your autograph?"
Out of everyone they could've met, why did it have to be this person? Not that Roxanne was in a place to judge, but still. She guessed it would be similar if an alien nut finally found one after they were caught trying to sneak into a government building. She had a feeling most people thought Sapphire was a little off her rocker.
"What about the portal though?" Tory asked as Sapphire climbed back down from the top bunk to get a closer look at them. "How did you know it would be in that house if you've never seen a human before?"
"Uhh, and how do you even know what a human is if you've never seen one?" Lake added. Gone was much of the worry he had before, the feeling rapidly being replaced by curiosity.
Was it strange how Roxanne knew that without even having to look at her friend? It felt strange, like some sort of new sixth sense. Kind of like how dogs could smell fear, except she was able to pick up on more than just that. Did Lake and Tory have that new skill, too? She somehow didn’t think so.
“I’m a magical expert, obviously,” she explained. “Can’t you tell that?” It wasn’t annoyed like Roxanne expected it to be. Instead, she was prideful of the title she’d given to herself. Roxanne had to avoid laughing to herself about that. If no human had ever been to wherever this place was, how were they supposed to know something like that?
“I studied under Princess Twilight Sparkle herself at her school for gifted unicorns!” she said. “I was even one of the top ponies in my class! Sure, I might have gotten into a little trouble with her a few times, but I’m still an expert! As good as they come!”
She knew Lake and Tory were thinking along with her about what kind of trouble a horse with a personality like this could get into, especially if she was able to do magic. No one said anything though, and listened intently.
“I noticed some particularly intense thaumatic waves coming from Lilac Beauty’s house a few months ago. Naturally, I tried to ask her if I could take a look around and take some samples, but she got indignant with me when I told her I was just doing my job asking her why her magical skill wasn’t up to par for a place with such a strong signature. I kept a lot of good notes though, especially about how the amount of magical particles in the air seemed to…”
Roxanne didn’t listen. She didn’t particularly care about all the details like this. What was she gonna do? Peer review her studies? Instead, she focused on the emotions coming off of her as she spoke. There was a lot of confidence about her, and intelligence, but not really much cockiness or arrogance like she expected. She might have spoken with a kind of valley girl accent and tone in her voice, but her words presented themselves to Roxanne with a factual sort of feeling.
How am I doing that? she had to wonder silently. This wasn't a skill she had an hour ago. She might have prided herself on being able to read people before, but it wasn't on the level of mind reading it seemed to be at now.
She watched Lake glance away from Sapphire every so often to Tory, definitely trying to see what he was thinking. Tory himself barely blinked as he stared the girl in the face. He seemed to be taking in every word she said and compartmentalizing it for later. Good. Someone had to be doing that. Roxanne would probably just forget most of it anyway.
There were a lot of other subtle things she felt, but couldn't quite understand, coming from her two friends and their new companion. It was a lot like flavors of a dish. Right now, that dish was curiosity, worry, and determination. It was hard to pick out much else.
Roxanne took a minute to examine her body some, too, while their new cellmate continued on about wave rates of something or other and how they indicated teleportation. It was interesting how pastel colored she seemed to be, and immediately noticed the difference between it and the other 'ponies' she saw. They were more brightly colored than she was. Heck, Lake was practically glow in the dark neon orange. She didn't think she'd seen any horse quite pastel colored like she was while they were outside, but then she wasn't looking for it. She was only able to make mental note of the difference.
She had a unicorn horn like the other unicorns she saw had, and was about the same size as Sapphire Glow and Lake were. She was naked, obviously; it was one of the first things she noticed when she stepped through Lake's closet. But she also almost immediately decided that she didn't really care one way or the other. It might have been her brain dissociating being a horse from a human being, but even though she was obviously indecent, having fur didn't really feel like she was exposing herself.
Even if they were only in this world as horses for a day, this could certainly make things interesting for when they got back home. They might be in national news, or international for that matter, if things played out right and people got involved. If not, this would at least make for a funny story to tell people at the least. It'd make Lake flustered and embarrassed when she mentioned how they were all naked around each other. Maybe he'd be up for doing more adventurous things after this was over. Maybe Tory would open up more and show some emotion. Maybe Roxanne herself would chill out a little bit more when they were home again. She was the one who wanted to look around for herself first.
The feeling didn't come from anyone but she somehow knew that this little adventure would be longer than a day.
"And lastly," Sapphire Glow finally said, after probably ten minutes of nonstop talking. Roxanne shook her head clear to focus in again on what the blue unicorn was saying.
"We know what humans are because we have books all about them!" she said. "Their history, their biology, what they like and don't like—all kinds of things! Of course, a lot of that information is locked in the Canterlot Archives, so don't tell anypony that I have that information, but—"
"Okay, but like… how do you know what humans are?" Lake asked, confused. "Like, how did you get that information?"
"From the Canterlot Archives?" she said, just as confused as he was. "I just told you not to tell anypony I've been in there." Roxanne was confused by what she was saying, too, but not because she didn't understand what Sapphire was saying. She had a feeling the mare was just always like this. Roxanne was having a lot of feelings lately.
Their new cellmate raised an eyebrow at the three of them skeptically, taking a step back. "You three aren't messing with me, right?" she asked seriously. "Because if you are, I know spells that'll make you wish you messed with somepony else," the unicorn threatened.
"We're not messing with you," Roxanne finally broke in again. "Just move past it. We don't care about that. You said you can get us back to Earth. Can you do that?" She could tell Tory and Lake weren't putting much faith in the claim, but she wasn't too skeptical. Why would she lie? Except the immediate lie about her being a human, too.
"Mhm, I can do that," she nodded. Roxanne decided she was being truthful as she continued, "I'm not really sure how, but I've kept enough notes to figure it out. Plus, I've got friends." She started to turn away from them and climbed up to the top bunk she insisted was her own a moment later.
"I'll have to look at my notes though," Sapphire said. "Kind of can't do that while I'm stuck in here, but I bet it won't be that hard to do once I have them. Plus, I absolutely wanna visit Earth. Having hands sounds amazing!"
"It can help a man deal with being single I hear, right, Lake?" Lake blushed and frowned, but Tory laughed at the joke. Sapphire's confused expression even got Lake's lips to eventually turn up in a smile. It lightened the mood some.
"I'm not sure what you mean," the blue horse continued, "but anyway! In the meantime, since you're here, I have a million questions for you three! This is the first time I've ever been able to even find a human, let alone talk to three at once! I’ll be the first pony in history to interview one!"
Roxanne shared a look with her friends. This was gonna take all night, wasn't it?
Well, it wasn’t all night, thankfully. And it wasn’t a completely one sided interview either.
She asked them a bunch of basic questions about themselves and their home—what their names were, how old they were (she and Tory were twenty four, Lake was two years younger), where they lived (Pottstown, Pennsylvania), how they ended up here… and then a million questions about what it was like to be humans. A lot of them were specific to having hands. No emotion coming off of their new company revealed whether this was a fascination, a fetish, or what, but the three were presented with an obscene number of questions about human hands and what they could do.
In return, they had some questions of their own for Sapphire Glow answered. She was almost twenty years old and still lived with her mother in the city of Manehattan, the largest city in the country. The country of mainly equines, who called themselves ponies, was cleverly named ‘Equestria’, and existed on the equally cleverly named planet of ‘Equus’. They were apparently ruled by a benevolent dictator-queen named Twilight Sparkle, and did so under principles of ‘harmony and friendship’.
It was like a world designed for a little girls’ tv show that they stepped into. Roxanne wondered what kind of sentence they would be given in that case. Maybe lessons about friendship and kindness and a hundred sentences to write about how it was wrong to enter someone’s home without permission. Maybe they’d be let off the hook entirely without any hassle.
“If you weren’t caught with anything in your possession,” Sapphire said, “Judge Standing probably won’t make you serve actual jail time. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me, and I only served four months once when I was eighteen. It probably won’t be that bad.”
“Uh, four months is a long time,” Lake immediately spoke up worriedly. “I don’t wanna be here for four months, especially not in jail for something we didn’t do!”
“Oh, relax,” the mare continued, nonchalant. She waved a hoof for emphasis as she told him, “They’ll probably just give you guys probation and community service since you wouldn’t be in their records. Is it true that humans have to wear IDs every time they want to go outside?”
“No, but we do carry ID cards with us,” Tory told her. “Do you know when we’re gonna be able to see an attorney?” he asked. “Or appear in front of the judge? How long is this gonna take?”
‘Probably on Tuesday is when you'll see Judge Standing since it's the weekend now. No way he's coming in on a Saturday. I definitely wouldn't. Plus, you gotta see the attorney, too, on Monday."
"What day is it today then?" Roxanne asked, not that she needed to. She already knew from how Sapphire felt that it was a Friday. Not that she needed those feelings to deduce that. Lake and Tory were able to figure out the answer on their own, too, before Sapphire confirmed it. Both were nervous about the idea of spending more than a few hours here, although Lake showed it more. Weird though, since it was supposed to be Wednesday on Earth right now.
"I can't stay here that long," her friend said nervously. "I have work to go to in the morning and have plans with my family after that. They're gonna think I'm missing. That we're all missing."
“You told them beforehand about this though, right?” Roxanne asked. Another question she knew the answer to, just because he said so before. “They’ll figure it out and tell someone else, and before you know it, everything’s gonna be fine.” She put on a wide smirk of a grin and continued, “Besides, wouldn’t you rather be here with us seeing all of this instead of waiting around at home for us to come back?”
“No?” he said, almost exasperated. “Because I was about to go back until you stopped me, Roxie!”
“Oh, you’ll get over it,” Tory chimed in, putting on a slightly humorous tone despite his body posture. “After all, we have Sapphire Glow on the case, right?”
“That’s right!” the unicorn said confidently. She didn’t understand Tory was teasing her. It made Lake give another small smile again at least as he tried not to be so anxious.
"What do we do though, if we're stuck here for days?" Lake asked. "Just… sit around and do nothing?"
The unfortunate answer was ‘yes’, Roxanne and her friends quickly figured out. Who knew jail could be so boring?
The main thing there was to pass the time was talking. About being in prison, about being horses, about what to do and how to proceed once they were in front of the judge and got out of here, about the new shows they watched on Netflix recently. Tory made a big deal about wanting to plan out everything for once they were actually outside, but even talking about that didn't take up most of Friday night. Sapphire Glow said that she was sure her mother would let them stay with her if need be, and that her notes would have everything they needed to get back home. She might have been confident, but Roxanne wasn't so sure. The unicorn told her and her friends that she would know more once she 'investigated' the house they entered this world in. She imagined that implied breaking and entering, except for real this time. It didn't phase her much though.
The food was better than they all imagined it would be, and it wasn't hay, thankfully enough. Apples and carrots and macaroni and peas with cookies were what they served for dinner the first night. Sapphire explained that since a lot of the cooks only worked five days a week, they served pizza for dinner on the weekends. It tasted no different than frozen pizza from Walmart, which she decided was a good thing.
It was kind of funny how Lake made a huge issue about needing to go to the bathroom, despite the fact that they were all naked now. He went so far as to ask one of the guards if he could be taken to a private bathroom, a request that was promptly scoffed at and denied. It took Tory telling him that no one was gonna care and making a big deal about it was just putting more attention on him before he would go. Roxanne didn't tease him about it, but she would later. Once they were back home. Right then wouldn't have be cool.
The cell they were in was about the size of two average sized rooms; certainly big enough to host four people—or rather, four ponies—comfortably. There was room enough for Tory to work out and pace while the rest of them mostly sat around. The beds were softer than Roxanne expected, and the air was kept at a comfortable temperature. It might not have been that bad if it wasn't so mind numbingly boring.
Beyond talking and thinking, there was nothing to do. No TV, no radio, no board games—not even a deck of cards or some paper and a pen for writing. Lake was even reluctant to play some of the music he downloaded from Spotify under the explanation of wanting to conserve battery. It made sense, because who knew how long they would be here? It didn't make it any less boring.
It would've been torture if she was alone. Having her friends here made it bearable, even if most of the day Saturday and Sunday was spent doing nothing. In a word, it sucked.
At least on Monday afternoon, they were finally able to talk to the attorney. A male unicorn named Legal Eye—what kind of name was that?— explained that he would be representing all three of them. He explained what they already knew in that they were being charged with breaking and entering into Lilac Beauty's home, but couldn't be charged with robbery since they didn't have anything in their possession. None of Roxanne, Tory, or Lake bothered with explaining the circumstances of how they got there to him after he told them that if they were found guilty by a jury, they could be sentenced to up to two years in jail. Not to mention, the actual trial would probably take a couple of months to get to, and they would remain in custody if they weren't able to pay bail. They all imagined it would be a losing effort and a waste of time.
By comparison, the extremely simple and fast solution would be for each of them to just plead guilty and be tasked with doing a hundred hours of community service and receive an order to stay at least a hundred feet away from Lilac Beauty's home. It was no surprise which option they all three wanted to go for. With any luck, they wouldn't be horses in this world for long enough to have to do it all. It might make it a little complicated getting into that house again though.
"What? That's not fair!" was Sapphire Glow's reaction to the news. "My deal was that I had to be on probation for two years!" she complained. "I won't even be able to drink apple cider!"
"You told us you did stuff like that before," Tory replied. "They'd do the same thing to you on Earth. Actually, they might just put you in prison."
She rolled her eyes at that as she climbed into her bed, then flopped down into her stomach. "Well, whatever," she said casually. "When I figure out how to get to Earth, I'm gonna stay there and not come back. I'll take my mom there, too. Manhattan sucks anyway."
"What have you gotten into trouble for before?" Roxanne asked. "Because I don't think they'll be more forgiving on Earth."
"Oh, a lot of things," Sapphire shrugged, looking over the railing of the bunk bed at them. "Trespassing, negligence, breaking and entering—technically, I was charged with larceny when I was in jail for four months, but my attorney helped me plead it down to petty theft. It would've been a lot worse if I hadn't been able to." She sighed a sort of whimsical sigh, and finished, "Oh, the things I do in the name of knowledge and science." It was strange how unbothered and unashamed she was of it all. She wouldn't have sounded different if she was talking about her regular day. Then again, it probably was a regular day in the life of this horse.
"Yeah, a word of warning?" Roxanne started again. "When you get us home, if you do come with us to Earth like you want to, I would stop doing all of that. A lot of states don't mess around with stuff like that, and Pennsylvania is one of them."
"Yeah, okay," the mare said with another little shrug. Roxanne didn't need to be an expert at reading emotions to tell that she wasn't listening. She didn't bother though. That wasn't her problem.
“I can’t wait to see what you guys look like up close,” she said, her excitement from a few days ago being replaced with calm expectation. “I’m definitely gonna have to show you off to the Humans in Equestria club. Maybe even before we actually go to Earth. A lot of my friends would definitely wanna meet you. I’m gonna be the most popular person at our next meeting.”
Once word got out about this when they got back home, the three of them were gonna be pretty popular themselves, weren’t they? How much money were they gonna get just from saying they’d been here first? Everyone on Earth knew who Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were. Was it gonna be the same for them?
It was a question to worry about at a later time. First, they had a court appearance to get to. It was early in the morning, early enough that even Tory, a morning person by nature, was looking groggy. Roxanne felt it on him, too. How was she able to do that? She didn’t know, and she still didn’t bother asking either of her friends about it.
Sapphire Glow was accustomed to the process, and explained that they’d sit through an hour or two of listening to other ponies’ cases before the judge got to theirs. She wasn’t wrong. One of the guards got them out of the cell, bringing along with them a couple of other prisoners for a march up six flights of stairs to an already packed courtroom of ponies waiting to be heard. What a place to be at seven in the morning.
And even now, she could feel all of these horses’ thoughts and emotions. How weird was that? Not only did she get the general air of people who didn’t wanna be here being told they’d have to do things they didn’t want to do, she was able to pick up on specific people’s feelings. The older woman with what had to be her grandson who was angry with him, even though she told him it would be okay and smiled. The guy in the back who was falling asleep and wished he was anywhere else. A younger horse filled with determination from where they sat, waiting for the moment they could plead not guilty to some misdemeanor. It wasn’t really a cloud of feelings; more like an interconnected web, where Roxanne could follow each strand and take a closer look at the horse whose feelings these were, or get a larger picture of the general mood. It was kind of stimulating in a way. Like drinking coffee.
She was definitely gonna have to ask someone about this at some point. This wasn’t normal.
It wasn’t as long as Sapphire Glow said it would take before the judge called them forward, only a half hour or so. He called their cellmate up to talk to him first. Roxanne had to hold back from laughing at how the mare sauntered up there like they were friends. Lake and Tory didn’t find it quite so funny.
“If I know one thing, it’s that if she keeps acting like that, he’s gonna put her in jail,” Tory said. “And we’ve only known him for thirty minutes.”
“Yeah,” Lake agreed. “Then what are we gonna do?”
Roxanne didn’t respond, instead focusing on their companion.
“Hi, Judge Standing!” she waved cheerily, like the two were old pals. “It’s nice to see you again, your honor.” He didn’t have to sigh for Roxanne to know he was disappointed.
“Sapphire Glow,” he said as he let out a breath. “I wish I was surprised.” He shook his head and looked down at a paper as he asked, “What is it this time? Burglary? Arson?”
“Uh, breaking and entering. Again, uh, your honor.” At least she had the decency to be embarrassed by it. It seemed to help play the judge in a good way. A little bit anyway.
She rubbed a hoof behind her head and gave a sheepish grin as the judge returned it with a stern look before glancing back down at the paper. “Breaking and entering,” he repeated. “Yes, again.” A little pause from him came as he read, then he continued, “You’re entering a plea of ‘guilty’ in return for a two year suspended sentence to be served as probation. Is that correct?”
“Yeah, that’s right,” she answered. Roxanne thought she was being way too casual about this.
“You’ve committed this offense before, and were given a plea deal then, too. A hundred hours of community service.”
“Uh, yes, I did.”
“Just as you were in here before for criminal trespassing as well, and a whole host of other things from the looks of it. One of these was a felony charge that you pled down to a misdemeanor to avoid a seventeen month sentence. Do you remember that, Sapphire?”
Sapphire looked like she was getting nervous. Gone was the sheepish grin and out came anxiety. “Uh, yes, your honor,” she answered. “But those things won’t happen again. I promise.”
“I’m certain I’ve heard those words before from you, and yet you keep ending up in my courtroom,” he said. It was no different from the way a principal would talk to a trouble-making kid. “Do you know what we call that, Sapphire? A pattern of behavior. Why should I believe you’ll behave differently with this deal than you have with any other deal you’ve been given so far?”
Yeah, Sapphire was definitely worried now, an emotion Roxanne guessed was rare for the mare. Her eyes were wide as she glanced nervously between the wall and the judge. He’d clearly never been so direct with her before.
“Please, your honor,” she told him. “It won’t happen again. I promise. I don’t want to go to prison. I’ll be better.”
“You had better be better,” he told her sternly. “I’ll accept this plea deal, but if I see you in here again, or if you break the terms of your probation, I won’t let you off so easily again. You’re looking at a twenty four month prison sentence if you break even one letter of your probation terms. Do you understand me? Because I’ll make sure you serve every day of that if you show up here again like this.”
Sapphire Glow swallowed, and nodded. “Yes. I understand, your honor,” she told him.
She sighed some papers and spoke to the judge for a few minutes longer before she was told she could leave. Then, the three of them were called up.
“Let’s see… Tory Rhett, Roxanne Collins, and Lake Cleaver…” He looked up at them and said, “Those sound like griffon names. Are you supposed to be from Griffonstone?” Roxanne didn’t bother answering. The judge didn’t particularly care either way, from what she felt of him. Instead, he looked back down at his paper and continued, “You three are entering a guilty plea for…”
There was a long pause. Roxanne could feel his emotion quickly turn sour, and she was sure her two friends knew it too from the horse’s body language. He looked up and eyed them suspiciously, then squinted down at the report again. “What’s going on here?” the judge asked incredulously. “Are you meant to be some kind of group of co-conspirators with Miss Glow? Is that it?”
“This is all a misunderstanding, your honor,” Lake said nervously. “It’s not gonna happen again. We promise. We weren’t conspiring with her.”
“It sure looks that way from what I’m reading,” he said as he glossed over the paper in his hooves again. “How could this possibly be a misunderstanding?”
“Uh, well…” Lake rubbed a hoof on the ground, clearly debating what to say. Tory didn’t take the chance to speak up either. It left Roxanne as the one to step in.
“We went through a portal on another world from where we live to here,” she said simply, factually. “It just so happened to lead to that house, and the police showed up a few minutes later.” She didn’t think the judge would buy it, as ridiculous a story as it sounded. No more ridiculous than turning into horses in another world though.
He didn’t really, but he was more accepting of the explanation than a human judge would’ve been. “Yes, well, in that case, let me give you a piece of advice,” he told them. “If I were you and I was new here, I would stay away from Sapphire Glow. Hanging around her is going to lead you to trouble. Trust me.”