Chapter 37
"Come on dude!" Begged Greg.
I stood and looked at him, "No dude, I'm not going to do it."
Greg bit his lower lip, "Please! You have the cutie mark for it!"
I shook my head, "I'm not stupid, I'm not looking to die."
He shook the camera in my face, "Dude, come on! We have to do a Jackass parody!"
I sighed, "If I do a few scenes, will you leave me alone?"
He smiled brightly, "Hell yes! Come on, I have the first stunt set up."
I shook my head, I was going to regret this.
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Frederic pointed the camera at me and smiled, "Okay, we are recording!"
I sighed and put on a fake happy voice, "Hi, I'm Girokon, and this is Jackflank!" I sat down in the cart and nodded to Greg.
Greg kicked the cart, sending it and me flying down the hill. Halfway down the hill, Greg used his magic to stop the cart, sending me flying out of it and down the hill.
My body bounced a few times before coming to a stop.
Greg and Frederic ran down the hill towards me, the camera never leaving me.
Frederic reached me first and pointed the camera at my face, "Dude, you okay?"
I shakily stood and glared at Greg, "Fuck you!"
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Peter looked back at use and waved his hoof, "Here he comes!"
We all tried not to laugh as Zorrow walked in.
He looked around at all of us and smiled, "Hey guys, I'm back from the hospital. Finally got that cast of, but they said if I get hit in the testicles again, I'm going to lose them."
Peter laughed and pointed at him, "Dude, whats that on your stomach?"
Zorrow raised an eyebrow and stood up on his hind legs, "What?"
Peter twisted around and bucked Zorrow as hard as he could right in the family jewels.
Zorrow's eyes widened and rolled up in the back of his head. He fell to the ground and covered them with his hooves, and began to grunt and groan, "Why?"
All of us began to laugh. I feel back and slammed by head into the wall. But I didn't care, because I couldn't stop laughing.
Zorrow started rolling around on the ground, "Come on, I wanted kids!"
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Greg looked at the camera, a smile on his face, "I'm Mellow Haze and this is blam!"
He walked over to where Seth sat and walked up behind him. He levitated two pies on either side of Seth's head and slammed them into him.
Seth jumped up and twisted around, "What the hell is wrong..." He began rubbing his eyes, "What did you put in those?" He began thrashing around the room.
Greg turned to the camera and smirked, "I though he would have liked a pie filled with salt."
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Greg looked back at us, "Do I have to?"
I nodded, "Yes, you have to."
Greg sighed and walked forward. He walked up to Big Macintosh and tapped his flank, "Yo, big ugly. Bet you can't knock me out."
Big Macintosh didn't even turn around, "Bet Ah can." He bucked his back legs out and they slammed into Greg's face. He didn't fly back as expected, he just slumped to the ground, out cold.
I turned the camera to me, "K.O."
David ran over to him and slapped his face, "He's out man."
Big Macintosh smiled, "Of course he's out, Ah used most of mah strength in that buck."
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I stood on the box, looking at the camera, "I'm Girokon, and this is Foal killer." I looked at Greg and nodded. Quickly bracing myself for what was to come.
Greg smiled and picked up the rock. He used his magic to send it backwards a few yards. Then, using a speed spell, he sent it flying straight at me, at a speed only possible by Rainbow Dash.
It hit its mark, my jewels. I yelped in pain and flew forwards with the rock. Once I hit the ground, I covered them and slowly stood.
Greg and Frederic ran over to me and started laughing.
I stood up on my hind legs and groaned, "Oh god, their swollen."
They just laughed harder.
I fell forward, "I think one of them are broken!" I grunted in pain.
Greg walked over and smirked, "Again."
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Frederic stood outside of his and Luna's room, "If I do this, you both owe me."
Me and Greg shook our heads yes, "Do it!"
Frederic took a deep breath and walked into the room, "Hey honey. I have to tell you something."
Luna turned and smiled, "Yes?"
Me and Greg stood in the door way, trying to hold back our laughs.
Frederic gulped, "You see..." He opened his saddlebag, "Well, its important..." He began moving closer to her. "And, I think you have to know."
He quickly pulled out a water balloon and slammed it into her face, followed by lifting her up in the air and wrapping a rope around her hoofs. He than sat he on her back and put an apple in her mouth.
Me and Greg began to laugh like crazy.
Luna became over raged and snapped her mouth shut, crushing the apple. "Frederic!" She snapped the ropes off that bond her hoofs and jumped up.
She looked over at us and throw the bed straight at us.
Greg jumped back and pointed the camera at me.
I sighed, all for comedy. The bed slammed into me, crushing me against the wall.
Greg quickly grabbed me and pulled me out from behind the bed and out the door. When we closed the door, we could hear Luna going on a rampage. Things where being smashed and the sound of stone being destroyed could be heard. Then, everything went silent.
I looked at Greg, "Run?"
He nodded, "I think that would be best."
We turned and ran down the hall at full speed.
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We sat in my living room. Me covering my cuts and bruises in bandages and Greg smoking a blunt.
He looked at me, "Great video dude. I think we will be hits on Youtube."
I looked up at him and raised my eyebrow, "Umm dude, there's no computer's here. So that means there's no Youtube."
His jaw dropped, "What!"
I nodded, "I can't believe you didn't know that. We've been here about three and a half months."
He slammed his hoof into his face, "I guess that means we did this for nothing."
I shook my head, "Nope, we can all just enjoy it."
He shrugged, "Fine, but one last scene."
I sighed, "What is it?"
He smirked, "Nut crush."
I raised an eyebrow, "What's that?"
He pointed the camera at me and pointed above me.
I looked up and became confused. There was nothing there. I looked back down at Greg and my eyes widened. He was using his magic to hold a hammer above my nuts.
He smirked, "Nut cracker anyone?" He slammed the the hammer down.
My eyes rolled up in the back of my head and I fell over, trying to catch my breath. I felt like throwing up, "Why? They was already swollen!"
Greg laughed loudly, "Wow, I didn't know they could be that big."
I closed my eyes tightly against the pain and gritted my teeth, "Shut up!"
As I lay there trying to make the pain go away, I heard a door open.
"What happened to him." Frederic said while looking at me.
Greg smiled, "We just played nut crush. You wanna play?"
"Uhhh, no thanks."
A few seconds later, I heard Frederic grunt and slam into the ground.
Greg stood over us laughing.
Frederic looked up at him, tears in his eyes, "How do you like it?" His horn began to glow.
Greg's eyes widened and he looked down to see that his foal makers were being engulfed in a white light.
He fell to the ground with a loud scream, "Let go of my balls!"
Frederic's horn stopped glowing and he laughed weakly, "There, that should keep you on the ground for a while." He went back to holding his own jewels.
I looked over at Greg and let out a weak laugh, "Can't take a little squeezing?"
He shook his head as he held on to his, "Fuck up! He wasn't squeezing, he was fucking crushing!"
Frederic smiled, "That was enough force to break bone."
Greg groaned loudly as he rolled around in pain.
I slowly stood.
Greg rolled over to me, "Your not going anywhere!" He slammed his hoof into my family jewels.
I fell over in intense pain. Everything began to go black around me as the pain began to take over.