~One~
“Rarity! You can’t just leave the poor boy mid-dinner!” A shocked Twilight gasped, before bursting into a fit of giggles.
“Yes I can darling, he refused to pay the bill, and acted like a complete child when I ordered something above twelve dollars. If he couldn't afford it he should have just taken me to Mikkies across the street.” She huffed. The table burst into a cacophony of laughs as seven teenagers sat around Sugarcube corner long after Mr and Mrs Cake closed up and left for the night. The seven friends laughed all through the afternoon until closing time, so the Cakes decided it was best to leave PInkie in charge of the keys and lock up once they were done.
It was a rare Saturday night for the friends - one of the first in months where they could sit around and catch up with eachother. Usually it was impossible to find a day where none of them had something on. The days of highschool where they were able to see eachother day in and day out was in the past, and life had become too real for any of them to pretend to be children anymore.
“Did he ever text you after that?” Sunset asked, cross legged on the couch at the back of the cafe to which Rarity smiled knowingly. She quickly pulled out her phone from her purse searching through it until she turned it around to show her friends. As the six eyes scanned the text message each had slightly different reactions. Fluttershy blushed and sat back down quietly, clearly not used to such vulgar language, whereas Sunset, Applejack and Twilight frowned at the text before looking up at the fashionista to make sure she was okay. Rainbow furrowed her eyebrows.
“You can’t leave him on read Rares! He’ll totally think you’re upset over him,” She got up from her seat, reaching for Rarity’s phone, “Pass your phone, let me reply to him.” Rarity pulled her phone out of the prying girl's reach, huffing at her immaturity.
“While I appreciate the offer Rainbow Dash, I prefer to just have him blocked and go about my life.” Rarity smiled, seemingly unfazed at the message. “Alas, some men just don’t appreciate a woman who holds herself at high value.”
Pinkie, who seemed awfully quiet perked up, her eyes looking at another older message, “What does winky face, eggplant, splash mean?”
---
Rarity reached her house long after midnight, heart full with nostalgia of her and her friend’s days in highschool, where they spent hours conversing about Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s new feud, or Pinkie’s rather intriguing conspiracy theories. Rarity had found little joys in their silly band, their weekly sleepovers at Pinkie’s house, Dash’s soccer games, and Fluttershy’s animal fundraisers. It used to make her smile watching Sunset discreetly steal a peck on the lips from Twilight, or watch them whisper away when they sat in a group, as though they were the only ones for each other. Past, foolish, her, was rather naive believing that romance novels and rom-coms were real - finding that type of love just like her two friends did. If she knew how that turned out she would have been much more realistic in her beliefs.
Now looking backwards made Rarity feel a sort of dull pang in her chest. She reached her room quietly before quickly stripping out of her outfit and into her pyjamas. Her vanity and skincare called out to her, never as loud as it did a couple years ago, and she glared at it intensely, willing herself to put in that extra effort. To brush her hair, and remove her makeup, and apply that facemask before bed.
She missed her friends so much, and missed their dates but somehow she also…didn't? No, she didn’t. Because she was afraid that if she got too close to them again, they’d realise how much of a different girl she had become. And she knew all too well that they had all been a little bit more closed off tonight, with Rainbow Dash in an odd hurry to get home before eleven, and Fluttershy all too willing to stay as late as possible. Of course the air was still heavy- Sunset and Twilight almost plastered on opposite sides of the group, and Pinkie much too quiet for anyone to have actually enjoyed themselves. The only one who seemed herself - at least to Rarity- was Applejack, but really, Rarity thought to herself, when was the last time Apple jack had seemed anything but serious. Probably before her parents’ funeral, Rarity thought. She wasn’t stupid. Her friends’ lives were as bland and lifeless as hers was. But despite tonight’s harsh atmosphere, she had never had so much fun. What was it about cracking lame jokes and catching up on small talk that made her feel so alive?
Rarity and the rest of the seven were lucky to be in the same university, excited to apply for the same ones when enrollment started, but she rarely saw any of them courtesy of her own degree, a bachelors in fashion design. Last year she had a few classes with Applejack and Pinkie, some introductory electives that allowed the three to enjoy eachothers company. But now as she enters her second year of university at nineteen, she’s left to face her classes with no one but herself.
She lay back against her pillow and pulled up her phone, her eyes looking at the text message her previous date sent her.
~: Don’t flatter yourself, I was only looking for an easy fuck. Guess you’re not only a whore but a gold digger too.
Her eyes read over the message again and again until her vision blurred over and she realised tears had welled up in her eyes. She decided to respond after all.
R~: What gold is there to dig from your pockets darling?
Satisfied with herself, she felt sleep take over her. Rainbow Dash was right, it felt good to have the last say.
---
Fluttershy stared nervously at the bus stop’s worn-away timetable, it was way past midnight by now and she wondered if that piece of paper was even up-to-date. It felt silly now to have refused a ride from any of her friends, insisting it was just a five minute bus ride home, now she's not so sure. “Um, Rainbow Dash, are you sure the buses run at this time?”
Rainbow looked up from her phone to her friend's face, noticing her unsure eyes. She straightened up and leaned against the bench mirroring the pink-haired girl's stance. “I’m sure Flutters, the timetable on my phone says it’ll be here in ten.” Rainbow said, showing the screen to Fluttershy to which she merely nodded and continued to play with her sleeves. Rainbow stared at Fluttershy for a while longer before looking straight ahead at the road, deciding to put her phone away for now.
The rain had stopped a while ago and the road glimmered against the moon’s shine. A lone street lamp lit the two girls’ faces as they sat a while longer in a silence that either weren’t sure was comfortable or awkward. It led Fluttershy to think back to her time in highschool when conversation with Dash just seemed to flow. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had known each other for a while, since kindergarten, when Rainbow used to go over to Fluttershy’s house after school until just before dark. Fluttershy dared to look over at her friend who now seemed lost in thought and frowned. Both she and her friends knew Dash had lost her mother to cancer just over a year and a half ago, despite Rainbow refusing to ever talk about it. It was around that time that Fluttershy felt her and Rainbow’s bond drift apart from as close as sisters to just mere friends. If it were a year and a half ago, this silence would have been snarky banter and gossip about the cheer and basketball team. Fluttershy remembered the funeral well.
Fluttershy stood next to her friends whilst Rainbow and her dad stood on the other side of the park, gathering people’s sorrows and prayers. Fluttershy watched as Rainbow’s eyes constantly flickered over to her friends who quietly talked amongst themselves in a group.
“Has anyone spoken to her yet?” Twilight asked, her eyes scanning the circle of friends. They all shook their heads.
“I don’t think Dashie wants anyone to talk to her about it.” Pinkie frowned.
“Of course she does darling, but we know her, and she’ll refuse to show herself weak in front of us, and none of us know what it’s like or what’s going on through the poor dear’s head.” Rarity said. Fluttershy cast a knowing look at Applejack, who’s eyes lingered on Rainbow’s form, now speaking to her dad quietly.
“Applejack knows,” Fluttershy spoke quietly.
“Oh my, i’m so sorry Applejack I completely forgot…” Rarity trailed off, watching Applejack nervously who in turn just waved a hand at her.
“Don’t you fret sugarcube,” She replied.
“I mean, you know what it’s like, Applejack,” Fluttershys started again louder, “Go talk to her, she might need someone who knows how it feels to lose someone close to them.”
“I can’t- It’d be wrong of me to make it about myself-” Applejack said, her eyes darting from Rainbow to Fluttershy.
“You aren’t,” Sunset spoke up from behind Pinkie, who stepped aside to let her join the conversation. “There’s no need to talk about yourself if she doesn’t ask, just let her know you understand.”
Applejack looked at Fluttershy again who smiled encouragingly. Then Fluttershy watched as Applejack approached Rainbow Dash. For a while there was just talking, Rainbow’s face stuck in a neutral line that made Twilight and Fluttershy exchange glances. Then, Rainbow wrapped her arms around Applejack’s neck and buried her face in her shoulder as Applejack stroked her hair comfortingly.
After that Rainbow had started to spend more time with Applejack and less time with anyone else, now it seemed she spent no time with anyone.
“Flutters?” Rainbow asked, and Fluttershy zoned back in to notice Rainbow looking directly at her.
“Oh my gosh, sorry Rainbow, I was lost in thought.” Fluttershy responded, shifting to face Rainbow Dash as she mumbled something to herself.
“I was saying thank you…for letting me stay over tonight?” Rainbow said, sighing as though it was hard to breathe before she got it out of her system. “It’s too late to go home now and I don’t really wanna wake my dad an-”
“It’s fine Rainbow, really,” She smiled. “In fact, I'm happy you’re staying over; it'd be just like old times.”
Rainbow smiled at that, “Are you sure your parents and Zephyr are okay with me coming over, I haven’t seen them in a while and well…”
“My parents are away for the weekend for their anniversary, and I’m pretty sure Zephyr will be more thrilled than annoyed that you’re here” She laughed quietly, a hand over her mouth, making Rainbow grin in return.
“I’ll say, remember that one time in 9th grade when he confronted me that he thought I was only friends with you so I could get a date with him. It was hilarious!” At that memory, the two girls imploded into a bunch of laughs.
“Oh, the bus is here.” Fluttershy said, disappointed their conversation was cut short.
---
Fluttershy unlocked her front door to a dark house, which meant that Zephyr was thankfully asleep. She clicked the light on causing the room to be suddenly awake with a warm ambience.
“Oh my gosh Fluttershy, the house looks the exact same as when we were kids!” Rainbow whisper-shouted looking around, Fluttershy noticed her eye catching the kitchen. “No way, your mum still keeps those Commemorative plates my mum used to gift her?!”
Fluttershy walked towards where Rainbow stood and looked at the plates. They were mismatched and had some…interesting patterns on it and definitely did not match the house, but she couldn’t ever imagine throwing them away. “Of course, everytime my mum saw the plates she used to smile and tell me another story of Windy.” Fluttershy’s smile wavered as she noticed the faraway look on Rainbow’s face and the sad smile that dared to vanish.
“That’s really cool of her.” Rainbow looked down for a while before speaking up again, “I’m sorry I never came to visit after the funeral.” At that Fluttershy was reminded of how much she missed her old friend and gave her a sad smile in return.
“I understand Rainbow, but it’s in the past. Now come, let's get some sleep.” Rainbow opened her mouth to say something more, before deciding otherwise and following her old friend up the stairs.
With just the lamp on, the room was dark and casting shadows around Fluttershy’s walls. Shadows that once were Fluttershy’s source of nightmares. Funny how my fears always somehow become more irrational, she thought to herself as she settled into her bed. Her bed was big enough for two, so she waited as Rainbow changed into Fluttershy’s pyjamas on the other side of the room. She found herself watching her friend as she slowly pulled her shirt over her head and her eye caught on something colourful just above Rainbow’s hip.
“What’s that?” Fluttershy asked softly as Rainbow took off her shirt, she noticed the bruise was rather large and her worry seemed to skyrocket. Rainbow turned around swiftly, forgetting she didn’t have a shirt on.
“What?” She replied.
“Above your hip, it's a bruise. What happened?” Fluttershy increased her volume just slightly, her worry for her friend’s safety larger than her nervousness to make Rainbow mad. Something seemed to register through Rainbow’s mind and she quickly threw on one of Fluttershy’s shirt’s.
“It’s not really any of your b-”
“It wasn’t your dad was it?”
“Obviously not!” Rainbow responded angrily, and if Fluttershy were to wager, very fast as well. Then she lowered her voice. “How can you assume such a thing, Flutters? You know my Dad. I just had a fall during training, it's not a big deal.” Fluttershy’s eyebrows furrowed as she watched Rainbow’s eyes refuse to meet her own. She’d known her long enough to know when she was lying, but Fluttershy refused to bring it up again. Rainbow just needed a place to stay the night, and they weren’t nearly as close as they used to be for Fluttershy to demand personal secrets from Dash.
“I’m sorry,”
“No no, it's my bad, I don’t know why I got so worked up,” Rainbow apologised, releasing a forced chuckle as she got into the other side of the bed. “I’m just tired is all. Sleep well.” Rainbow gave her a smile before facing the other way, her back to Fluttershy. Fluttershy flopped onto her bed, her eyes tracing small cracks in the ceiling paint. Sleep well, If Fluttershy was more assertive she would have scoffed at that, but alas she wasn’t, so she mentally sighed and waited until her friend’s breathing slowed down. Fluttershy shifted then, to face Rainbows back and watch until her movements slowed. It wasn’t until about ten minutes later Fluttershy dared to sit up, making sure not to make any noise from the bed. Rainbow used to be a heavy sleeper in high school but she didn’t want to push her luck, after all, 17 year old Rainbow isn’t 18 year old Rainbow.
Already she felt gross and icky and disgusted at herself but she continued to reach for her bedside drawer until a bottle of pills landed in her hands. She was first diagnosed with insomnia at 15, and began taking medication once a night. After a couple years, the doctor suggested that she had to force sleep on herself without the use of medications, and so her insomnia rose. Every night Fluttershy lay awake, afraid of her dreams and afraid she wouldn’t wake up. It went on like that for months- days with no sleep and one where she had no choice but to pass out and once more was plagued with her own fears.
Last year she started college, and with her Veterinary degree came many exams and expectations that were not possible for an insomniac. So she bought some lorazepam, not only a sleeping pill but also an anxiety reducer. And first it was only taken if she had an exam the next day. Lots of good that did me, Fluttershy thought as she took 3 tablets in her hands, threw her head back and swallowed them in one go. Fluttershy was self-aware enough to realise she had developed a problem these past months, but as sleep took over her she couldn’t seem to remember why she cared enough to fix it.
---
~AJ~
It was the first day of semester and Applejack was in a particularly good mood. Ain’t that a weird thing, she thought to herself, leaning against her chair and opening her notebook. Just two days ago, the girls decided to meet up and they had a hoot. She was hoping maybe this year she could see them more often- she only saw one of her friends everyday. Speaking of…
“Psst,” … “Psst,”
As Applejack tried to keep up with her professor’s ramblings on organic chemistry, she was also trying (and failing) to ignore an incessant, pink girl who couldn’t seem to focus on class.
“When I become a world-famous chef, you’ll regret ignoring me Apples,”
“Psst-”
Yup, just focusing.
…
“Psst-”
“What Pinkie!?” Applejack sharply whispered.
“What do you think of our group icon?” Pinkie asked innocently, causing the cowboy to slouch in her seat, not bothering to finish her notes.
“I don’t know sugarcube, can’t you see I'm busy writing my notes?” Applejack replied.
“Oh! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry Applejack, don’t worry I wrote everything down! See, you can take photos of it for later.” Applejack gawked at her perfect notes, all the way up to the end of the lesson, which by the way has not finished. Applejack eyed the paper for a while before accepting it with a smile. However Pinkie managed to get those notes was a wonder to her.
Class went by quick, with the professor handing out outlines for the semester and explaining the assessment tasks. “This weekend was fun!” Pinkie said from beside her. Applejack smiled back at her, remembering how good it felt to see all their friends in one place. “I wish we could hang out like that again like old times.” Pinkie’s hair deflated before inflating again as she spotted one of her friends and ran ahead to greet her. Applejack was left trailing behind as her mind travelled back to the last weekend of summer break where the girls all caught up at sugarcube corner. She pulled her phone out and opened it to the group chat that was bare of any conversation- that was until Sunday morning when Rainbow Dash sent an image of Rarity in the middle of a choking fit to the group to which conversation started up again. She smiled as she read through the texts.
R~: DELETE THIS DASH
RD~: Nu-uh
PP~: OMG BAHAHA RARITY YOU LOOK SO FUNNY 🙇
FS~: um what does the emoji mean Pinkie?
PP~: ROFL duh.
SS~: 😂
TS~: Did anyone remember the name of that movie AJ said she watched?
AJ~: I can't remember 😂
SS~: No one uses that emoji anymore AJ 💀
AJ~: You just used it though
SS~: No? 💀
Applejack smiled at the message chain, rolling her eyes at Sunset’s lame attempt at gaslighting her. As she read through the messages Sunset’s icon popped up with the typing bubble, causing Applejack to hold her breath in anticipation.
SS~: Hey guys, me and Fluttershy have some extra time before our other classes, anyone wanna meet up for lunch at the quad?
Now why am I embarrassing myself like that, these here girls ain’t strangers, they’re my friends.
“APPLEJACK!” Pinkie popped up in front of her face, causing her to take a step back in shock. “We neeeeed to go see the girls! We haven’t seen them in forever!” Applejack raised her eyebrow.
“We saw them this weekend.” Pinkie pouted, purposely deflating her hair. “Aw shucks, why not? Plus we ain’t got nothing better to do.”
---
As Applejack and Pinkie reached their destination they saw Sunset waving at them and Fluttershy beside her watching quietly. Applejack plastered on a tight smile noticing no one else was there. She was kind of hoping to see the others as well.
“HEY GUYS!” Pinkie yelled, causing Sunset to force an embarrassed smile as a few people around them stopped what they were doing and stared at them.
“Where are the others?” Applejack asked as she sat across from the two.
“Rainbow Dash couldn’t make it, she has soccer practice Mondays.” Fluttershy said, passing over some crackers to Pinkie whose eyes were as big as saucers.
“Oh,” Applejack said simply. “And Rarity and Twi?”
“Class. At least that’s what Rarity told me.” Sunset said, taking a mouthful of her sandwich.
The four began talking for a while, about their weekend and how the first day of second year’s been treating them. “How are things with Twi, Sunset?” Applejack started slowly, cringing slightly at how the table became awfully quiet.
Sunset sighed, “Not good. I want to start talking to her again, but everytime I see her I just choke! I can’t be selfish with her again guys, you know how it turned out.” Applejack chewed her cheek, noticing how dejected Sunset felt about her situation. I know all too well about being selfish with someone.
“Awh Cheer up sugarcube, It’s been over a year now, surely you can try and make it up to her.”
“Yeah, Twilight can’t be mad at you forever! She still loves you silly!” Pinkie commented from the side.
Sunset rested her forehead against the table bench “I’m not so sure she does.”
---
~TS~
The library was one of Twilight’s favourite places, not because of the endless source of information hidden between those worn-out pages, but because it was quiet - a place where very few people came except to plug their earphones in and study. She felt alone in her own thoughts, a place away from distractions. Perfect. She opened her textbooks, and took out her pencil case, organising her highlighters and pens and erasers, ready for a productive study session. Okay, so first subject on my to-do list: physics. She smiled at herself, oh how she loved maths and physics. She began reading through the book, summarising, and working out practice questions for a whole 5 minutes. Sunset. She read through the paragraph again. She looked extra pretty that Saturday night in her Rainboom t-shirt, her hair pinned back with that hair clip. And how her eyes contrasted against those red and yellow strands... Pause. Twilight glared at her physics book. There was something about the book making her feel weird because why was she thinking about Sunset all of a sudden?
“No, no, no.” She shook her head, a feeling of nausea and dread filling her as she began to remember how…not lonely, she felt around the orange-skinned girl. Twilight would not fool herself into thinking she wasn’t even a little excited that Saturday night, a chance to see her again after so long, and this made Twilight’s head spin all over again. She remembered how her stomach churned when she saw Sunset’s text today and how petty she was being to tell Rarity she was busy instead of just responding in the group chat.
Sunset’s top half lay hanging over the side of the bed as she peered over Twilight’s shoulder watching her girlfriend do smart, sexy, nerd things. Twilight herself was positioned cross-legged on the floor with her laptop in her lap, focusing on a very important presentation. A very important presentation she left until the last minute. “Twilight”
“Hmm?” She said, as Sunset gave her a peck in the ear.
“I’m tired. Let's sleep.”
“Uhuh.” Twilight replied absently, reading over and over again her slides for tomorrow.
“Twilightt,” Sunset whined rolling over onto her back so that she could now see the laptop screen upside down. “Lets cuddle”
“Sounds great.” Sunset rolled her eyes, sliding off the bed and crossing her legs so that she faced Twilight.
“Twilight.” She said again, this time tilting her chin up, and frowning when noticing her girlfriends fearful expression. “What’s wrong?”
Twilight stared into Sunset’s eyes for a while, taking in those turquoise orbs like they would run away. She was hypnotised. How unlucky was she to have someone that could hypnotise her with just a look. Very unlucky. “I’m worried about tomorrow. My whole future is riding on this. If they aren’t happy with my research, I’ll never get that scholarship, then I’d have to find money elsewhere and I won't have time to study me-”
Sunset pressed her lips to Twilight’s, silencing her and holding the kiss for a moment before moving away and giving her a sincere smile. “Twilight, how many times have I read your research?”
“Five, but-”
“And Cadence?”
“Three, and Shining twice but-”
Sunset grabbed both of Twilight’s hands in her own, “Twilight, you are literally the smartest girl i know. In this world and Equestria.” She chuckled at her own joke. “Your report is one of a kind and the examiners would be complete idiots if they don’t see it too.” She squeezed her hand, “If you don't believe in yourself, believe in me. I know you’re going to ace it.” Something about SUnset’s words soothed any edges that made Twilight doubt herself, because she did trust Sunset, much more than herself.
It was then Twilight knew for sure who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She loved Sunset Shimmer. Loved…
“Reading your article right now won’t do anything” Sunset gave Twilight a knowing look as a smile made its way onto the purple girl’s face. “Come onn.”
“Okay, okay.” Twilight laughed, joining Sunset in her bed. “Maybe I need some sleep.”
As the two girls settled above Twilight’s bedsheets, Sunset slowly crawled over to her, tracing Twilight’s figure with her eyes like a tiger with its prey. She crawled onto Twilight’s lap, her arms on either side of the nerd’s head. She looked at Twilight slyly, causing her heart to quicken, and her face to redden. “And I say you need to relax.” She leaned down, and began planting soft kisses on her neck.
Twilight blushed at the memory, deciding she wasn’t going to get any more study done in this frame of mind. She quickly packed up her things and headed for the bathroom. She reached the bathroom quickly, throwing her bag next to the sink and leaning over it, looking at herself in the mirror. She was flustered and confused and most of all angry at herself. Why couldn’t she move on? If she couldn’t then she would never be able to be friends with Sunset platonically, and their friendships would be torn. Twilight stared at herself hard, at the small scar just above her jaw, so insignificant and fading. Silly how it left such an impact.
“Sunset, you have to LEAVE!” Twilight pleaded with her, as the orange girl paced around her apartment, her breath rugged.
“Twilight you're not understanding. This isn’t something I can just leave like ‘Oh here’s my resignation, pleasure working with you.’ I have a contract!” Sunset strained, struggling to breathe as she found herself between a rock and a hard place.
“This whole summer they’ve been working you to the bone, Sunnie, we have college starting in a few weeks,” Twilight continued to reason with her, to which Sunset grew more impatient. “You can’t afford to have this on your back!”
“You think I haven’t tried?!” She seethed, turning her back to Twilight as she gripped the desk chair until it was purple.
“We can go to the police,” She walked closer to Sunset. “I can talk to my dad! he can help y-”
A cold object was hit against Twilight’s jaw, making her hand fly up to her face, “THEY THREATENED YOU, TWI!” Sunset shouted, turning around with tears in her eyes.
Time seemed to stand still, and Sunset felt her heart stop as she watched her girlfriend slowly remove her hand from her jaw, bloodied and red. Twilight watched in horror as she saw her girlfriend stagger towards her, shock and hurt written across her face. With a stagger, Sunset brought her trembling hand to Twilight's face.
“T-twi, I'm so sorry, I-I don’t know…I- Oh my god.” Sunset fell to the floor, her eyes pinpricks, and Twilight fell back on the bed, realisation slowly coming back to her just as she started feeling the sharp pain from her cut. My girlfriend just threw car keys at my face, she thought, fear creeping into her mind as she watched her girlfriend completely lose it. Twilight stared in shock at Sunset, whose own mistakes led her to cut her girlfriend. Me, her girlfriend who stood by her despite everything… Twilight’s breathing became laboured, and their eyes caught each other's. The red haired girl’s heart dropped at how Twilight looked at her. A monster… An animal. Twilight was afraid.
“Twilight-”
“I’m leaving.”