//------------------------------// // Entering The Twilight Zone // Story: Man in a Pony’s World // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// Throughout the month following Nightmare Night, Bob and Luna had become pen pals of sorts, Bob would tell the princess of what he was doing with his newfound free time, Luna would tell the human about her duties, odd cases in her night court, and they’d pen each other once a week, since that was as fast as the post office could be for them. Meanwhile, Bob spent a lot more time away from school, after he had told Twilight that he was a free man, and after telling her about what happened with Diamond Tiara, the two of them agreed that it would be better if he didn’t go to school everyday. Twilight and her friends were told of Bob’s recently acquired freedom. For some reason, only Rarity and Fluttershy stopped by to see how the human was doing. While Bob and Twilight started talking a bit more freely, now that Twilight wasn’t there to act as a warden for him, in Bob’s eyes, he felt it was much easier to get along with the unicorn. Them writing Pony Hallelujah together already helped them get along better as it was. Also, Twilight started using Bob’s lap as a makeshift pony bed more often, which certainly helped them bond. Granted, Bob still went to school, once or twice a week, to help Golden Arrow or the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and even began tutoring them outside of class with anything that wasn’t history, as that was still one of the human’s weaker subjects. Math and Equish came naturally, given how higher up the human was in his education, and was more than willing to spend an hour out of his day, petting four adorable foals, teaching said foals, and promptly play with them shortly afterwards. This made Bob show up at the school even less. Bob was told of a holiday in the pony equivalent of November, called Hearth’s Warming, which just sounded like Christmas, but in November… and it was for ponies and celebrated for very different reasons. There was also a severe lack of gift giving on Hearth’s Warming as it was mainly about spending time with the family. Twilight got a letter in the mail from her family, and a letter from Spike. Twilight, Spike and Bob would be leaving for Canterlot to spend the week and most of Hearth’s Warming with the dragon and unicorn’s parents, and they wanted Bob to come along so he wouldn’t miss out of the party that Celestia was hosting on Hearth’s Warming day for herself, Luna, The Elements, who would be arriving on the train the day before, and of course, Bob. Bob sent a letter to Luna before they left, wishing her happy holidays and expressing how happy he would be to see his favorite Alicorn, Princess, and Pony again. And how he’d get to hangout with her all in one day to boot. As in Luna, Luna was all three of those things. Yes, Twilight read that part of the letter, and was mildly upset when she wasn’t Bob’s favorite pony. “C’mon Twilight,” Bob said, sitting down next to her on the train. A few ponies were eying Bob, while others were choosing to ignore him. That was a major step up from how he thought he’d be treated on the train. “You’re my favorite unicorn!” He chuckled as Twilight huffed. He wrapped an arm around her. “You’re probably one of my best friends, but Luna is my best, best friend. She’s nothing but sweet to me. You, you’re still pretty nice; it’s why I like the two of you! You’re actually nice!” “Hmph!” Twilight crossed her hooves, before sighing and leaning into the human’s hands as they scratched her head. “Okay, you make a good argument as to why I shouldn’t stay mad at you.” She made an adorable little squeal as Bob scratched her jaw. “Oh… that feels so good!” “Damn women, only wanting to be loved and cared for. How dare they!” Bob chuckled as he pulled the unicorn onto his lap. “M’am,” a stallion, who had just boarded the train and was walking to his seat. He had clearly stopped to stare at the spectacle before him. “You do realize that monster’s probably going to eat you in your sleep, right?” Twilight got ready to argue, but the human cut her off before she could open her mouth. “Oh yeah, I’m gonna eat her,” Bob blew a raspberry into Twilight’s stomach. That elicited a giggle out of the lavender horse. “Eat her out maybe,” a tail whack from Twilight made him snicker; he wanted to use that joke ever since he heard the rumors about him eating ponies, and now he could! The stallion blinked a couple times, before chuckling to himself.  “A little too much information… Mister. That caught me off guard, and I can say that I’m pleasantly surprise.” The stallion sat down across from them, he was an earth pony, brown, and sported a bowtie. “You’re quite the interesting fellow, you wouldn’t happen to be this… mini sasquatch that was the main story in the newspaper for the last few months, are you?” The human looked up from Twilight, now that he was rubbing her belly, she had stopped paying attention. Instead, she closed her eyes and started purring. “I am. Got a problem with it?” Bob couldn’t help smirk a little at Twilight’s purring. “Not at all, I was mostly curious. I’m glad to see that most of the rumors are false. I’ve heard a few things about that unicorn; she lives in the same town as I do. She doesn’t make a lot of friends easily. If Miss Twilight Sparkle is willing to take a nap in your arms, then you’re practically harmless.” Bob looked down and groaned; he realized what a napping Twilight meant when she was laying on him. “What?” “On one hand, she is adorable, and is sleeping in my arms… on the other, she is drooling on me, and she’s laying her head in a way so that her tongue is laying on my stomach.” Bob threw his head back. “God dammit,” he sighed. He tried to move the unicorn’s head without waking her up, but then stopped when Twilight nuzzled into the hand that was now propping her head up… She was now drooling in Bob’s hand. “Fucker!” Bob whispered, so he wouldn’t wake Twilight up. Spike snickered at the human’s predicament. Bob had to hold his friend’s head up the whole time while he got covered in pony drool.  When the train stopped, Bob was now stuck with a predicament. There was a pony in his lap, a pony he likes, and she was still asleep. On the other hand, he had a suitcase he had to carry. “Spike, please help me. I know you and I were never the closest of friends, but…” Bob tried his best puppy eyes. “Please, please either wake Twilight up for me, or take care of our bags. Because either I carry a mini-horse across Canterlot, without knowing where the fuck I’m supposed to go, or I wake up an adorable mini-horse.” “Mmm, I know the way. You can carry Twilight. She woke up early after planning late into the night while planning the week out. You could use the workout, if I say so myself.” The unicorn, despite not stirring the entire train ride, woke up in a heartbeat. “I’m awake!” She looked around, only to realize where she was; in a human’s arms. She blushed lightly before teleporting out of the human’s grip. “Oh thank god I don’t have to carry you, you’re heavy as hell.” Bob sighed in relief before grabbing his bags, which mainly consisted of a guitar bag that Rarity made him, and a backpack that held his clothes.  “Are you saying I’m fat?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow. “No, horses are heavy. You are a horse. You are heavy. Granted, you’re not as heavy as Luna; I almost broke my back trying to carry her… Fuck, Luna likes being carried around like she’s a big dog.” Bob threw his head back again and sighed. “Well, let’s go meet your family. We’re meeting them at the station, aren’t we?” The human asked. “No, I told Mom and Dad that I’d meet them at the house; I wanted to keep you as a surprise. They know about a friend of mine named Bob, but they don’t know what he is. They’ll love you, and you’ll probably love them. Oh, I cannot wait to have you meet Shining Armor, and if all of the last Hearth’s Warmings are any indicator, you’ll be meeting Cadance as well!”  Bob just looked confused. “...Who? Isn’t that a musical term?” “My brother is Shining Armor, and Cadance is my foalsitter. They’ve been spending a lot of time together recently. I don’t know why.” Bob hummed, and immediately guessed why in his head. He didn’t say anything though, and instead silently followed Twilight and her assistant/brother through Canterlot. He was getting even more odd looks than he usually received, but the human did his best to ignore them. They weren’t attacking him, probably because of Twilight being right next to him, and as long as he wasn’t getting murdered, he was mostly fine. So instead of focusing on the ponies giving him weird looks, he focused on the decorations. There were tons of reds, greens. Tall, possibly fake candy canes stood at around the human’s height, there was mistletoe, and christmas reefs. It was all so eerily similar to the human equivalents such as christmas. The only thing that Bob has yet to see are any Christmas trees. Canterlot itself looked so… normal for a city that was stuck to the side of a mountain. It was almost like it was standing on flat ground, with how the air pressure didn’t change despite how tall Mount Canterlot was. Before Bob could drink in any of the sights, such as the giant castle that Luna and Celestia lived in, they reached Twilight’s home. She knocked on the door and a few muffled voices could be heard. “Coming!” a stallion’s voice said. Twilight looked a moment away from jumping up and down in excitement. The door opened to… a white, tall stallion. He was almost as tall as Luna, he was a unicorn much like Twilight. His hooves were… actually different from the rest of his legs, as they matched his mostly dark purple mane and tail.  “B.B.B.F.F!” Twilight tackled her big brother while Spike snuck by to rid him himself of all the luggage he had to carry. Bob just sat with his hands in his pockets while he waited to be invited inside.  “Twily! How is my Little Sister Best Friend Forever doing?” Shining Armor noogied the mare like she was a little filly. “And where is this… Bob,” his eyes landed on the human, and they went from warm and friendly, to cold and hate-filled. The human scratched the back of his head before getting ready to turn around. “Twilight, why did you bring the animal that Princess Celestia told you to watch over? Do you know how dangerous it is?” Bob slouched. “Shiny, That is Bob!” The older unicorn’s eyes widened. “So,” Bob said slowly. “I think I’m going to see if I can’t just sleep in the castle for the next week. I’m sure Luna won’t mind, and I can get around to baking the cake I promised Celestia.” “You’re not going anywhere, Bob,” Twilight got behind him and started pushing him inside. “Just give my family a chance, if you still don’t like them, then I’ll take you to Canterlot Castle myself, alright?” “...If I get called an animal again, or get assaulted, I am leaving. And I don’t mean I’m leaving the house, I’m gonna just straight up leave and see if I can’t build a log cabin and farm potatoes or something… Or die trying, that also works. I’ve had enough of that shit.” Twilight nodded. “Shining Armor, Bob, Bob, Shining Armor.” Shining Amor raised a hoof. “Uh… hey. Look, sorry about-” “You’re just saying sorry so you won’t upset me, which would then upset your sister. Just tell me straight, do you want me here?” “Not particularly, but Mom and Dad got letters from Twilight all the time, highlighting how nice this ‘Bob’ was. I didn’t know that… the thing my guards were chasing last year was this Bob. So I’ll give you a chance, even if I want to drag you to the dungeons.” Shining Armor sighed. Before heading inside with Twilight. Bob stood outside for a few more moments, before following inside as well. Standing on the other side of the door was a mare, who looked almost exactly like Twilight, same mane, same tail, same general shape. She was just an entirely different color, her coat was light gray, her mane was a mix of purple and light gray. Her cutie mark was three blue stars. Her light blue eyes stared up at him with a mix of awe and curiosity. “So, this is that stallion you’ve been writing to me about, Twilight? I must say, he is a strange fellow.” “I get that a lot, if you look past-” “I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. You’re a bit handsome in your own way. Nice muscles, very well-toned even if they’re not very big. Granted, you are covering a lot of them… perhaps the clothing is to tease my little girl?” The mare asked. She giggled at her daughter’s groan and subsequent, long, irritated ‘Mom’. “I’m Twilight Velvet, as you can tell, I am Twilight Sparkle’s mother. I’ve heard a lot from you,” she raised a hoof and Bob took it. “Is that a guitar bag on your back? Twilight, you did not tell me that your coltfriend was talented.” “...What’s a coltfriend?” Bob asked. The human slowly worked through a bunch of mental hoops as the mare before him was giggling up a fit and Twilight was burying her face into her brother’s shoulder. “Oh… Uh, I dunno if you would be proud if Twilight and I were dating. I’m only sixteen, Mrs. Velvet.” “Oh, I’m just poking a bit of fun at my daughter, I know how old you are. Come, take your shoes off and join the rest of the family in the living room. Anypony that managed to become one of Twilight’s few friends must be special.” “...But-” “Yes, I heard of the ‘horrible’ things you’ve done, such as trying to get food. While I don’t agree with how you did it, I also know that you didn’t have another choice. As a mother, and with the knowledge of how young you are, I was a bit mad when I heard that my daughter was watching you; you needed somepony to love and feed you, not a warden.” Twilight Velvet gave the human a warm smile. “If you need anything, I’m only a letter away. While you are under this roof, you are my child. Don’t be afraid to ask me for anything.” “...I already like you,” Bob knelt down and hugged Velvet. “Thank you… Ponies like you are a breath of fresh air for me.” “Why’s that? If you didn’t hurt anypony, then maybe nopony would’ve attacked you,” Shining Armor growled. “Shining!” Twilight Velvet got ready to scold her son, only to glance over at the human. Bob had removed his jacket, leaving him with just his tank top and his pants. The ponies, who weren’t used to Bob, stared at him with wide eyes.  “That… is a lot of scars,” Shining Armor got close. “Are those lightning spell burns?” “Oh those,” Bob shrugged. “They still sting to this day, but humans are built for suffering, so I’ll live. I can survive an arrow to the calf, so I can take just a little bit of extra pain.” “...What did you do to get those burns?” “I bumped into a filly on my first day in Equestria. I thought she was adorable, so I started petting her. When I stopped, she asked for more and broke my brain because, where I come from, ponies can’t talk. My brain short circuited and-” Bob snickered. “Ah no-if only-her dad showed up while that filly was laying in my lap, and he started yelling at me. Shot me in the back when I turned to run away. My leg’s probably got a similar burn, which hurts a bit more, but you guys don’t have burn cream. So I just live with the pain. It’s not that bad, just a light buzz in the burns.” “...Sweet, bucking Celestia,” Shining Armor looked Bob in the eyes. “This happened because you were being nice to a foal?” “Eeyup. The next town shot an arrow into one of my legs when I asked for help with the first burns. How I’m not dead is a miracle… I guess. Sometimes I feel like I’d rather be dead.” Bob looked the stallion in the eyes. “I didn’t want to steal food or punch ponies in the face to secure that food, but I had to.” “...I see that now. Buck, everypony is usually so friendly to each other.” Shining Armor nuzzled the human’s shoulder. “And you’re barely older than Spike is…” He shook his head. “Why the buck were my stallions chasing a child through the wilderness?” “You, young man,” Twilight Velvet nuzzled Bob’s other shoulder. “Are going to receive a healthy dose of the Twilight Family’s hugs and kisses throughout the week. To think that you’ve been through so much!” With that, both Twilights walked further into the house, towards the living room. Bob and Shining Armor stood side by side. “Listen, Bob,” the older of the two started. “I really need to tell you that I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can fully trust you just yet, but know that I won’t be openly hostile with you, or try to make offhoof remarks about you. You’re a foal, you’re barely older than my little brother, and ponies were attacking you! I sent my soldiers out after you because you just wanted some food!” “It’s water under the bridge. At least you have the audacity to apologize. The effort’s been made, and I can appreciate that,” Bob lowered himself slightly and looked Shining Armor in the eyes. “I can guarantee you that I won’t hurt anyone in your family. Your sister and I get along well enough, and I already love your mother. Is Cadance here?” Shining Armor nodded. “Well, I can tell you two are getting extra cuddly, tell me about her.” Speak of the devil. “Shiny, are you being mean to that human?” A pink alicorn, who looked a lot like a smaller Luna, but without a flowing mane, and was… very pink. She had a blond, blue and pink mane. She currently lacked a crown or any form of regalia, but the human could assume she had gone without it while visiting her lover’s family. Bob stared at the Princess of Love as she approached the two stallions.  “Nah, Shining Armor and I had a disagreement, and we solved it. Right now, I’m hoping to at least be in the good graces of one of my friends’ families.” Bob looked at the alicorn and the unicorn. He then set his eyes on the alicorn. “So, what are you the Princess of? Luna’s got the moon, Celestia’s got the sun. Do you control the planet or something?” “I’m the Princess of Love,” she chuckled at the human’s blank expression. “Did I catch you off guard?” “A little. No offense, but going from the Sun, the Moon, and then Love? What’s next, a friendship Princess?” Bob chuckled. “Uh… sorry if I offended you somehow. I’m a wee bit used to talking to myself since all I had was my own company for a year.” “You’d have to do a lot more than that, to offend me, Bob.” Bob raised an eyebrow. “What? Auntie Luna loves talking about you. She talks about how much you snuggle up with her, how you listen to everything she says, she even has Auntie Celestia read the letters you sent her. Just last week she was gushing over how she wanted to… Actually, I’m not going to say anything about that, since it’ll ruin the surprise.” “Uh… okay then.” “So you can play the guitar?” Bob nodded. “The piano?” “And the drums and violin. I’m only any good with a guitar, and I’m decent with a piano. A professional violinist would probably gut me if they heard me play.” Bob took on his best ‘snob accent’. “Oi, what the fok you plain’ mate? You make my cat's farts sound like a symphony!” That actually got the Princess to laugh. “But yeah, I can play the guitar. I even brought it since Twilight insisted I bring it for Hearth’s Warming.” “Well, let’s go into the living room and out of the entrance,” Cadance wrapped a wing around the human and led him inside. After introductions were out of the way, Bob sat in the corner of Twilight’s room, since the two of them were used to sleeping in the same room together. He was currently alone, having put his bags down, and his coat. After he got his stuff put up, the human walked downstairs to meet properly and spend some time with Twilight and her family. Upon reaching downstairs, Night Light, Spike and Shining Armor were talking about buckball while the the mares of the house were sitting at the table and having tea. The human promptly decided to join the mares, if only to stay close to Twilight Sparkle. “Do you want some tea as well, Bob?” Twilight Velvet asked. “No thanks, Ms. Velvet. So, what is buck ball?” Bob asked quietly. “Don’t let Night Light or my sons hear you ask that,” Twilight Velvet whispered. The mares proceeded to explain what it was as Bob rubbed his chin. “Sounds like a human sport, so it’s probably something I don’t care about,” he shrugged. “So Cadance, you used to babysit Twilight?” “Of course!” The princess clapped her hooves.  “...Do you have photos?” Twilight Sparkle ended up burying her face in her forelegs as her mother and foalsitter embarrassed the daylights out of her.